just beat me in the face

anonymous asked:

So.. Seb's "sexy" pic does nothing for me. Ain't that sad ? Finally something to thirst over and i just feel like his head to chest ratio is a beat odd, looks almost like a bad photo manip. I miss CW Seb. It was an A+ body with A++ face. It seems that i have to go trough Civil War again :(.

It’s just too Tinder profile for me. Also, the lighting does him no favors. Now, if he’d looked more like this?:

Yes, please and thank you. (link)

When people tell stories about how their parents beat them, it’s always interesting to see their face change because they expected me to say “me too lol” but I instead say “I’m really sorry. You didn’t deserve that”
Last time a co worker who also has West Indian parents was telling me in a joking way how he remembers being beaten with a belt because lied about his report card. As he was laughing it off and saying he deserved it, I just said “wow that’s awful hun. You didn’t deserve that.” And his whole face changed. Like it hadn’t occurred to him that it’s messed up that a part of remembering his childhood is remembering how badly it hurt to be beaten so badly at such a young age.
Another time I had a friend, non West Indian parents, who talked about how she made a mess on a dress that her parents got her. It was really expensive apparently and she spilled red juice on it. She talked about how she was ordered to take the dress of and was beaten with a belt too without any clothes on. And she was laughing and said “I was a bad ass kid lol” and I said “no hun you were just a kid”. And she looked at me and immediately stopped laughing and just sat there like “yea…I was just a kid. I don’t know why they did that to me”
My mom was raised in a household where she was beaten so badly….I just don’t understand how she is so loving now growing up in a home where she got so little love. They called it discipline, but once she became a social worker she began to see that it was abuse. That she grew up terrified of her parents, although they thought it was respect that my mom felt. It was fear.
We have to get comfortable challenging what is often seen as cultural norms. We have to be a generation of people who are not ashamed to say “I would never beat my child”.











The Essence of Yakuza 0

The greasy old yakuza boss chuckles half-heartedly before standing up. “You think just because you beat fifty of my best knife-wielding and gun-toting men, single-handedly, without so much as a scratch on you, that you can beat me, the fourth understudy to the assistant of the patriarch of the fifth-ranked family affiliate of the Tojo Clan? You must be out of your mind.”

In a single flawless motion, he tears off his jacket, undershirt, and tie, revealing that the 45 year old at best man who chain smokes and whose face appears to be constantly melting off has the physique of Bruce Lee. His pompadour and glasses remain immaculate as you grab him by the head and drag his face across every available surface within a ten foot radius.

This is my new strategy for white people who ask "Do you work here?"

I can’t tell you how many nice (and not-so-nice) white women have walked up to me in a store to ask me where something is, how much something costs, or to otherwise find out information she should be getting from an employee who MUST BE ME because I am a brown person nearby on the salesfloor.  Nevermind whether I have on an overcoat, I’m wearing headphones, or I have a complete lack of nametag, apron, or company t-shirt, I still get asked all the time “Do you work here?”

Before, my standard response was to pause for just enough beats to make her uncomfortable and then say, “No I don’t.  What about me made you think I work here?  And please be specific.”  Face crack.  Every single time.

Thanks to a friend’s comment thread on the Internet, I have a new tactic.

Pretend you do work there!!  It’s brilliant.  Observe.

White Woman:  How much is this shirt?
Me:  The sign is right there.  Can you not read it?
White Woman:  I was just making sure to see if it was on sale.  No need to be rude.
Me: No need to be stupid.  The sign has the price.  The tag has the same price.  Therefore, that’s the price.  Why are you bothering me with this?
White Woman:  Well I never!  I need to speak to the manager!
Me:  Fine, so do I.  I don’t even like this store.
[we march to customer service]
White Woman:  I’d like you to fire this employee immediately.  He was SO RUDE and I’m going to take my business elsewhere unless he is fired right now!
Manager:  I don’t think –
White Woman:  [”I was told by Applecare” voice] YOU DON’T THINK!?  I’M CALLING CORPORATE!
Me:  And say what?  That a perfect stranger with no nametag, apron, company ID, or any other sign of being an employee was mean to you in a store?  Susan I don’t even work here.  I just felt like making you look like the ass you clearly are.  Have a nice day.

Like…I’m finna go shopping RIGHT NOW just to test it out.  I’ma put on my big obnoxious hipster headphones just so there’s no reason whatsoever someone would think I’d be on the clock, and I’ma casually walk through a store and just wait.  And I happen to be wearing black jeans and a black jacket, which is the unofficial NYC uniform of fast-fashion retail.  And H&M is like three blocks away too…

If you think Alex Danvers is going to keep her relationship with Maggie Sawyer a secret at the start, you are wrong. Everyone at the DEO will know about her girlfriend in less than a day. She talks so much about her that J'onn and all the other agents start avoiding her cause they are tired of it.

Even rogue aliens incarcerated there will be tired of hearing about Maggie. She talks about Maggie while interrogating them, she talks about Maggie while beating them up, she talks about Maggie while they threaten to destroy the earth.

They are so tired of hearing about how amazing Maggie is they are just like “Just take me back to my cell I will kill myself if I have to hear one more word about how cute Maggie’s dimples are.”

Alex punches them in the face, because rude, before taking them back to their cell and going to talk to Winn. At least he only rolls his eyes but is too scared for anything else.

Context: In our Earthdawn campaign, we were tasked with recovering the scattered pieces of a dismembered god. One was inside a temple in the jungle and as we approached, we discovered an elephant-sized tiger with two faces sleeping outside of it.

Me (elementalist): Well our Scout has Silent walk. I have this spell, Balloons of Mist and I could attach them to everyone and he could just tow us silently past the monster, what do you think?

(No one had a better idea so I proceeded to summon the balloons and prepared to attach them)

Wizard: Wait, wait… what if you attached them to the tiger?

Me: Um… sure, we can try that, but it’s not my fault if it wakes up.

(I roll to see if I can beat the monster’s spell defense and do, despite my history for abominable rolls at crucial moments. It’s a physical monster, it has poor magical resistance. The first balloon doesn’t wake it and I proceed to attach all of my balloons, but it’s not enough to lift it. Our leader also knows elementalism, so he gamely casts more balloons and attaches them. We’re already in it, might as well go all the way)

GM: You attach the final balloon and the monster finally leaves the ground. As it does so, it wakes up, but there is nothing it can do. You watch as it floats up and away over the trees, trumpeting angrily.

Me: You know, our leader’s balloons will last longer than mine, so when mine run out, it won’t even fall to its death, it’ll just float gently to the ground…

Wizard: imagine having THAT come floating down on your campsite.


The leaked 1x08 Day Trip (the Bellarke Holy Grail) Script, which was conveniently released almost immediately after Bob tells fans at Unity Days 2017 that it is written into the script that Bellamy sometimes looks lovingly at Clarke.

Some highlight:

“Bellamy is suddenly thrown by the intimacy of having her close.”

“Clarke kneels beside Bellamy, takes his face in her hands.”

“As we see their hands side by side, just barely touching…off Clarke, feeling the energy between them...”

“Bellamy has a sudden, desperate though. He pulls Clarke close.”

Come with me…You and me. Screw everybody else. Let’s just…go.”

“For one electric moment, Clarke is tempted to say yes.”

“Exhaustion overtakes Bellamy–he lies down on the forest floor…”

“Clarke lies down next to him…”

“A stunned beat as Finn processes that. And not a small amount of jealousy.”

Originally posted by poissonxquad

This has been the best birthday weekend of my entire fucking life. 

Asking for an “allownce”

*Disclaimer* This is my own experience/advice

I see a lot of girls asking whether to discuss an allowance before or after the first date and honestly, I prefer to do it before and here are my reasons why:

1) I don’t want to get all dolled up for a date face beat, hair laid, ready to snatch ppl’s fucking life just to find out he can only provide me with an amount that’s insufficient to my lifestyle

2) I’m not afraid of “scaring him off” because he knows I’m obviously attracted to his money and not him primarily.

3) If you don’t like the range or financial amount he’s proposed you can always stick it out and wait to see if he changes his mind after you meet or just never meet with him all together. ON TO THE NEXT LOL.

4) I’ve found that when I do this its less awkward during the date because we can focus on getting to know each other and all that bullshit

****Random tip*****

I find that sometimes the word “allowance” makes these men very uncomfortable. So sometimes instead I would say “What amount/range would you feel comfortable with, in terms of cash and gifts (or you can say spoiling me with)?”

At the end of the day, you just go with whatever feels right for you and your situation. Obviously, if you’re going more for the spoiled gf route you probably wouldn’t mention this immediately because you would want the relationship to seem more genuine. But, if you’re going for the straight up SD route this could work.

Hope this kind of helped someone :)

  • Soldier-76: I got you in my-
  • Reaper: Yes, in your sights, we get it after keep saying that over and over again.
  • Soldier-76: Oh look who’s talking Mr. Die Die Die.
  • Reaper: Hey, at least it’s better than those two’s ‘Let’s drop the beat’ and 'Nerf this’. (Points to Lucio and D.Va)
  • D.Va: What did you just say?!
  • Lúcio: Yeah, what’s wrong with 'Let’s drop the beat’. Sure 'Nerf this’ is stupid but at least mine sounds much better.
  • D.Va: Excuse me?!
  • Lúcio: Oh you and I both know that saying of yours is ridiculous.
  • D.Va: At least I don’t say 'High noon’ like some old western man who can’t let go of the past. (D.Va pointing to McCree)
  • McCree: What did you just say, at least when I face my enemies I speak to them in a language they damn understand.
  • Genji: How dare you.
  • Hanzo: Shame on you.
  • McCree: Oh why don’t you Ryuga ga waga teki go fuck yourself.
  • Hanzo: Why you-
  • Genji: *Chuckles* You have to admit that is somewhat funny.
  • Hanzo: I don’t need this from someone less than a man.
  • Genji: Oh! Oh you’re going there you son of a-
  • Hanzo: We share the same mother.
  • Genji: *Growls in rage*
  • Mei: Come on everyone, there’s no need to fight.
  • Genji: I don’t need to hear that from a person with no fighting skills other than to let a robot freeze everyone in a vicinity.
  • Mei: Don’t you be mean to her. *Holds the sad drone in her hands*
  • Pharah: Everyone, enough! There is no justice in this pointless squabble.
  • Junkrat: Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to be raining from above.
  • Pharah: I don’t need to take this back talk from someone who uses a tractor tire as a weapon.
  • Junkrat: Wut didja just say about my bomb, I’ll blow you up!
  • Zarya: You’re all squabbling like little children, letting just a few words get to you, how pathet-
  • Bastion: Random beeping noise.
  • Zarya: What did you just say! Oh it’s on!
  • Everyone: (Shouting their ultimate at the same time)
  • (Off to the side everyone else who weren’t in the argument was just watching on with a blank expression on their faces as several explosions appeared off screen. Soon the explosions died down to nothing as everyone just stared at the carnage wrought on by the others who were all dead now. Everyone who witnessed this slowly turned to Mercy who was face palming)
  • Mercy: (Lets out tired sigh) A doctor’s work is never done (Stares at the X12 teammate down) Heroes (Sigh) Heroes never die
  • Submitted by Silentshadow01

i have a proposition. you let me out of these cuffs, and i face one of you in combat. i don’t even need a weapon, and you can keep your armor. just one-on-one, man-to-man. i mean, don’t want to be able to brag about beating the great poe dameron in a straight-up fight ? i’m famous. best pilot in the galaxy. people say that. no ? no takers ? not interested ?

Platonic Perachel

“Wanna see how many marshmallows I can fit into my mouth?”

“Yes. Do it. I’ll keep a record just so I can shove it in your face when I beat you.”

“You’re on Dare!”

Just a Game of Chess // Spencer Reid

Summary: Spencer grows frustrated when Y/N keeps beating him at chess.

Requested by: Anonymous

“No. This can’t be. It’s not possible,” Spencer said with a frown as he looked over the game in front of him.

“Oh but it is,” you replied with a smug smirk. “Good game, Dr. Reid.”

Spencer watched as you stood up from the seat across from him and made your way to the back of the plane, taking a seat besides JJ and striking up a conversation. He frowned as he turned back to the chess game in front of him. He had calculated his moves. He should have won. And yet somehow you had beaten him at his own game.

“New girl getting the best of you pretty boy?” Morgan asked with a deep chuckle as he took the seat you had occupied just seconds before. Spencer glanced at him, his frown not leaving his face.

“No one ever beats me,” he replied in genuine confusion. The only person he’d ever struggled against had been Gideon and that had been a while back. He had become so accustomed to winning that losing a game to anyone was a bit of a shock and if he had to admit it, a blow to his ego.

“Looks like she did,” Morgan said with a smirk. “I like her already.”

Keep reading

Everything hurts

Contex: our group who has a warlock yielding(me), wood elf druid, half-orc barbarian, human cleric, high high elf ranger and a half elf bard he wasn’t there this season. We just finished accidentally summoning our 3 guild masters because their mother is a goddess we wanted to talk too and ended up fighting a cult. We beat them and cleaned the tainted moon pool. Or for masters teleported away and have us some keys to get back to the guild.

Me: I go to take the keys

*Roles nat 1*

Half-orc: * punches me in the face for 14 HP*

Me: *forgets moon pool isn’t tainted and drinks out of it and takes 5 radiant dmg*

Party goes to near by town and uses the keys

Me:*parinoid of anything that can hurt me*

1st one lead to no where that we can remember

2nd one leads to dark room with a glowing map table

Party:*investigates room*

Me: *decides to try 1st key in here*

Open door looks different from last time we used the key

Me:*walks in and fails saving throw comes back out * murmering about monkeys *another 10 psychic damage*


I would rather do what I love to do and that’s more what pushed me into wanting to do what I do now. Because it’s such a passion for me I wouldn’t ever want to give this up. You’d have to kill me! I would never take my own life! You’d have to fight me for it! 'Cause I love this way too much.

Brendon Urie explains how his passion for music kept him alive {video}

BTS-Reaction to you saying “Fuck Me” out of frustration.

-Main Admin, M.

Rap Monster: You have been playing this game on your phone for more than a few days and there was this level you couldn’t beat and you have been trying for two days to pass it and it just stressed you out so when you lost again you couldn’t handle it anymore.

“Fuck me!” you throw your head back in frustuation and when you look up again, Namjoon is taking of his belt.

“Just give me a second, Y/n, I’m almost done”

The face he made when you told him why you said that was so funny you couldn’t stop laughing for hours.

Originally posted by forever-young-got7

Suga: You had been trying to learn how to play the piano for quite a while but you will always end up messing up on a chord so when suga sat down with you to help you practice and an again you messed up.

“Fuck Me!”

“If you wanted me to fuck you on my piano you should have just said that before”

Originally posted by talk-me-down-troye

Jin: Cooking wasn’t your thing and Jin knew that but you still wanted to make him dinner since it was his birthday but when you burnt the food frustration came to you.

“Fuck Me!” 

“I don’t mind fucking you on the kitchen counter, Y/n” 

Originally posted by fawnave

V: Both of you were cleaning the house, you were about to take the trash outside when you hit your pinky with the table.

“Fuck Me!”

“ohh, Yes!, No more cleaning, now we can actually do something productive, come here, Y/n”

Originally posted by buisually-appealing

Jimin: The fact that finals were coming up soon and that you didn’t have money to buy albums stressed you out so out of nowhere you screamed.

“Fuck Me!”

“Come here princess, let me show you what heaven feels like”

Originally posted by jimiyoong

Jungkook: taking care of two small kids was hard and more since they were tae’s brothers and they are just like him, so when they wouldn’t stop running around your’s and jungkook’s house you got really frustrated.

“Fuck Me!”

“Y/n, I guess we could make some cute little Kookies”

Originally posted by nnochu

Jhope: You and Jhope were laying down on bed when you were reading a good af fanfiction and you phone decided to restart.

“Fuck Me!”

“YAY!, I’m getting some puss puss tonight”

Originally posted by helendrv