Josh: Sam asked CJ to move the briefing to two o’clock, so that we could fold in the teachers; CJ had emergency root canal surgery at noon and so was unable to brief. President Bartlet: Who did? Josh: I did. President Bartlet: Oh, God. … President Bartlet: Before we go on, CJ, if blood is gushing from the head wound you just received from a stampeding herd of bison, you’ll do the press briefing.
Everyone’s congregating at Domino Stadium, which is (a) half-built and (b) owned by Kaiba. I am frankly astonished it’s not called the SETO KAIBA BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON STADIUM BROUGHT TO YOU BY KAIBACORP but maybe it will be once he finishes building it and adding the requisite dragon statues.
Malik and Rishid are hiding out in the stands.
Well one would hope so, he literally owns the place.
The Yugi-tachi arrive, and the three duelists present their Puzzle Cards in exchange for a Battle City ID card.
GUESS WHO MADE HIMSELF FINALIST 0001? I’m also willing to bet these TOs were under strict instruction that Yugi/Yami gets to be 0002 as well.
Malik sneaks out and back around to enter as ~Namu~ complete with Reason Why They Didn’t Kidnap Me
“The only POSSIBLE motive for kidnapping!”
Jounouchi’s halfway through puzzling out that Namu’s actions don’t make sense and line up too coincidentally with the move the Ghouls made but…
… the thought fizzles out in the inhospitable environment that is Jounouchi’s brain.
Yugi is delighted to meet any new friend, no matter how suspicious.
“Ha ha, yes, I personally used dark magic, kidnappings, brainwashings, and the tireless toil of my personal slave/brother. You?”
“Angry gay ghost living in my necklace.”
They’re distracted by the arrival of Ryou “Shouldn’t You Be In The Hospital” Bakura and his surprising decision to show up to a duel tournament with a Duel Disk, prompting a chorus of “Why do you have a Duel Disk, Ryou?”
“No I was going to fucking brush my teeth with it.”
pictured: group of duel-obsessed teenagers react to duel-obsessed teenager declaring intention to duel
I mean, I know, in OUR universe, dragging yourself from being in critical arm-stabbery in the hospital to the tournament finals over like, a two-hour period, is completely unreasonable and very shocking and suspicious. But LITERALLY ANY OF THESE PEOPLE would claw themselves out of a hospital bed for the sake of a card game so I find their shock, frankly, appallingly hypocritical.
honestly I just screencapped this for his ADORABLE FACE
(he’s worried Yami Bakura is back)
Then Rishid sneaks back around to enter as Malik. I like to imagine he psyched himself up for this, this critically important moment, this one chance to pull off a flawless deceit, all their scrutiny, all their suspicion will be no match for his meticulously-prepared introduction and well-rehearsed answers to any possible question they might have that might reveal him as an imposter…
(Mokuba is copying Nii-sama’s bad-boy attitude!! CUTENESSSSSS)
“Also, uh, welcome to the tournament finals.”
Now that the only two people Kaiba cares about have arrived - Yugi/Yami and the-person-he-thinks-is-Malik - it’s time to reveal that the tournament finals will not, in fact, be held in a half-built stadium…
LOOK AT MOKUBA’S FACE also Kaiba isn’t even looking up, he’s playing like he’s too cool to think blimps are cool even though the blimp was 100% his idea
Actually maybe it was Mokuba’s idea, Mokuba COULD NOT BE MORE EXCITED and Kaiba even lets him introduce it…
… he may also have let him name it. “BATTLE SHIP! GET IT, NII-SAMA? GET IT? BATTLE! SHIP! BATTLESHIP! BATTLE CITY AIRSHIP! GET IT? BATTLE SHIP!”
Yugi is delightfully optimistic about the whole affair
“After all, it’s not like the leader of the Ghouls, the known murderer,
bomb aficionado and probable sociopath, capable of brainwashing even the staunchest of my allies into attempts against my life, will ALSO be in the sky on the same flimsy gondola tethered to an enormous flammable balloon!”
Oh and then we go through this again #soDuelistKingdom
“For that matter, neither do you. Or the pilot. Or the doctors we’ll inevitably need when the comas start setting in.”
And Kaiba’s even nice and backs Mokuba’s call.
pictured: Kaiba being nice
Kaiba tells the TOs it’s time to set off. They ask if they should wait for the last duelist to arrive. Kaiba literally couldn’t care less once Yugi/Yami and the-person-he-thinks-is-Malik are on board and in possession of their God Cards. Luckily, the last person is a ~mysterious woman~ who has ~preternaturally perfect timing~ #whocoulditbe so the TOs don’t have to figure out who gets a bye if there’s only 7 finalists.
So off we go!
(some really cute music plays as they take off, I wanted to give you all the experience of the cute music)
Once in the air, everyone loses their goddamn minds.
BITCH HE’S ON A MOTHERFUCKIN AIRSHIP I’M ONLY BE IMPRESSED IF HE EXITS THE GODDAMN VEHICLE TO DUEL jfc
Kaiba’s giant inflated orb filled with hot air … can barely fit on his blimp, he’s so pleased with himself. Although I think the sleep-deprivation might be getting to him, he looks VERY TIRED.
(Yugi: I somehow expected better from you, Seto.)
Seto stops in front of Yugi and look who immediately makes his first appearance in a few episodes:
someone has a crush
someone else has a crush tooI’m just sayingteenage boy with a crushoverblown poetrythat whole connection there
Then for once, the writers actually manage to pull a genuinely moving scene with Shizuka and Jounouchi out of somewhere, instead of just having them repeatedly declare meaningless platitudes about their respective courageousness.
I mean, Jounouchi does IMMEDIATELY start thinking about Yugi again, and the moment doesn’t last long, but still!
Prrrrrrrobably because you left the door wide open and they’re your friends?
Anyway, you’ll need friends over to share your unreasonably large stockpile of “NAXIM” mouthwash, speckled sandwiches, and cheese from Serbia and Montenegro!
- Mermaids that keep flocks of marine wildlife
- Jock-type merboys forced to look after their mermothers flock of turtles
- Tiny merbabies inheriting squadrons of seahorses
- The sweetest most unassuming mermaid introducing their datemate her huge shoal of sharks
- Wise old mermen ending up looking like their pack of walruses
- Pods of dolphins protecting their merherders when they can tell they’re upset
- Squad of squid flooping around after their herders
- Babies riding on the backs of domesticated manta rays
- Fights between tribes of mermaids with their flocks protecting them, the shark herd enclosing around the unassuming manatee flock who strayed too far from their territory
- and then it turns out
- the manatee mermaids have recruited a blue whale
Dog Tried To Catch A Squirrel Every Day For 13 Years — So His Mom Finally Bought Him One
“Perhaps he was just trying to catch a friend all along.”
Ever since Cody was a puppy, he has been absolutely obsessed with squirrels. He’s been with his mom since he was just 6 weeks old, and even now that he’s 13, he’s never lost his drive to chase, stare at and try to befriend every squirrel he sees.
“He keeps an eye on the trees whenever he’s outside,” Christina York, Cody’s mom, told The Dodo. “He has never come close to catching anything. I think his genetics kick in and he is just trying to herd them and keep them where he wants them with that border collie stare-down.”
His mom has watched him try and fail to catch a squirrel day after day, year after year, and so she decided that she wanted him to finally feel the satisfaction of actually catching a squirrel.
“With Cody turning 14 later this year, I’ve started a kind of bucket list for him,” York said. “Number one was to finally get that squirrel.”
York searched and searched for a realistic looking squirrel toy to buy for Cody, hoping she would be able to trick him into thinking it was real. Finally she found one and presented it to Cody — and it was everything he had ever hoped for.
“For a few moments there, he was a puppy again – wagging his tail, patting his paws on the floor, swinging the squirrel by the tail around the room,” York said. “When he was done, the snuggling began. Everywhere. All day.”
Since getting the squirrel toy, Cody has refused to let it out of his sight. He’s incredibly sweet and gentle with it, and spends most of his days just cuddling and loving on it. After all these years, he finally has his squirrel friend, and he could not be happier about it.
“I think he feels pride and contentment with his ‘catch’ … perhaps he was just trying to catch a friend all along.”
We have to go on a quest to find stolen crown jewels to return to some
noble prince dude who will, in turn, provide us with a map in order to
get into a dungeon/castle for a shit ton of wealth and super great
weapons to use for future quests. There may or may not be a dragon
The Team includes:
I’m a Qunari barbarian/rogue type person who gets dragged into this mess.
A human farmer who is starting out super fresh and has no weapons or major armor.
An Altmer/high elf mage who has NPD and severe anxiety.
dragonborn who literally just shouted a whole herd of cattle to death
when we needed food but had no major weapons to help us out.
- I get trapped in a fucking fishing net and a water/tentacle beast comes out and attacks me.
- I jokingly roll for “the net I am trapped in to become the strongest armor to save me”
- Roll nat 20
- I’m stuck suffering for a bit while the team tries to kill the beast
- Elf Mage rolls to use a spell on the beast but rolls a fucking 1
- Tentacle beast falls in love with me and puts me down and now we have a hentai monster tagging along with us I named them Splorch
Having established the rate at which the YGO universe is traveling relative to our own (read part 2), we resume Jounouchi’s thrilling but ultimately futile race against death
(Yes, this moment is played for laughs. Yes, it is a jarring tonal shift back and forth between “these kids may legitimately tragically drown” and “lol Jou fell in the sea!” #not-how-suspense-works)
Luckily, once the anchor is IN the sea, it slows to a nice dramatic ebb towards the seabed rather than a chaotic drag through churning brine that would prevent untrained teenagers from holding onto tiny slippery metal objects or performing feats of manual dexterity. #not-how-anchors-work #not-how-the-sea-works
Meanwhile, on land, after a brief abortive attempt by Honda to break Jounouchi’s fucking arm by trying to grab his fragile human wrist and hoist up an anchor with it, #not-how-human-bones-work, everyone just gives the fuck up.
“Welp, it’s been seconds, they’re probably both dead. Best not to dwell on the past.”
But that swell is YUGI! Who miraculously floats to the surface despite being in all his clothes (including studded boots) and apparently being unconscious
and floats there with his head above water #not-how-drowning-works
It is AT THIS MOMENT that Honda and Mokuba are like, shit wait, someone could dive down with Jou’s key, preferably someone strong enough to drag an unconscious teenage boy back to the surface and who can definitely safely open their eyes underwater
…. wait no #not-how-post-op-recovery-works
(I did legit get emotional at this moment, though, she’s SO BRAVE and so DETERMINED look at her little FACE and in fairness no one else was doing anything to fucking help.)
(I still think it makes more sense that Kaiba would drop the key in, but otoh it doesn’t make more sense that Jou would be able to unlock his own anklecuff at that point, so I’d have had Honda dive down to try to save him and Kaiba throw the key in after Honda.)
Jou (after some more HiLaRiOuS slapstick of him ~not being able to breathe underwater~ srsly the tonal shifts are out of control) sees someone swimming down to him and assUMES IT’S YUGI COMING BACK
I mean, rude, but <3!!
Again, I seriously question Shizuka’s ability to swim all the way down, without losing hold of the key, unlock the cuff, and drag a larger human back to the surface #not-how-swimming-works
And after all that, Jounouchi’s more excited to see Yugi!
Everyone’s delighted, and even Kaiba gets sentimental.
He upgrades Jounouchi to “deadbeat, average Duelist”. Which I’m pretty sure is supposed to be a compliment from Kaiba. #not-how-compliments-work
Jounouchi and Yugi have a weirdly awkward reunion
during which I’m pretty sure he blurts out “sorry” in English?! Did anyone else catch that?! WHY?! Or is there a Japanese word/phrase for “sorry” that sounds like the English word “sorry”? Someone please explain, because Jounouchi canonically does not speak English and has no reason to slip into it here. #not-how-language-works
Jounouchi blames himself for not being able to throw off Malik’s eeeeevil influence sooner. He feels terrible, but luckily he has good friends who’ll support him through his emotional recovery.
“I got brainwashed into playing a dangerous card game, I am a faiLURE AS A SIBLING” #not-how-family-relationships-work
I mean, if you’d thrown a tantrum instead of going to the hospital when she was having surgery because you lost a card game, that would be a brotherly failure. Oh wait. Or if you’d then prioritised your card games over going to the hospital AGAIN when she was being discharged. Oh, wait. Or if you kinda ignored her in favour of your boyfriend after she saved you from drowning. Oh. Wait.
But Shizuka gives him a big hug and tells him shit about courage and the inspiring thereof in each other.
Then, weirdly, Jounouchi thanks Yugi, but only in his head.
Yugi tells Yami that everything turned out okay, but only in his head (unclear if Yami can hear or not).
And Yami tells Yugi he learned something from him, but only in his head. #not-how-conversation-works
Oh look, it’s the moral of the story as a whole. It’s important to have your characters explicitly state your moral, and indeed, explicitly state moral lessons they’ve learned. #not-how-writing-works
#not-how-foreshadowing-works but I’m still cry
KAIBA KNOWS!! KAIBA KNOOOOOOOWS!! KAIBA BELIEVED YAMI!! Kaiba also accepts the answer that “both Yugis” showed him, and wants Yugi to tell Yami that he does. He’s not saying he would give the same answer, only that he accepts Yami and Yugi’s teamwork/cooperation answer as valid. Baby steps!
… Wait what. #not-how-that-works
Yami: The FUCK you think I been doing only battling for God Cards when you bailed on me for ten fucking episodes, shortass?!
Okay, okay, okay. I see all of these posts about Draco getting his comeuppance for being a Potter-obsessed little shit as a kid to Lucius with Scorpius doing the same to him, but have you considered the alternative? That Draco and Scorpius bond over their Potter nemeses/crushes?
Scorpius (about Albus): I just don’t understand why his hair is like that all the time, dad! It doesn’t make sense! Draco (about Harry): I know! It always looks like he’s just fought a a herd of hippogriffs! Scorpius: Or been flying in rain. He does know brushes were invented, right? Draco: I’ve felt the exact same way since the first time I saw him! Is wild hair genetic? Can wild hair be genetic? Scorpius: Do you think he’d do it intentionally? That seems really… conniving. Draco: I’ve learned not to make hasty assumptions when Potter is concerned. He might just do it on purpose to annoy me… it seems like the kind of thing he would do…. Scorpius and Draco together: Ugh, Potter! Lucius crying into his hands in the background.
How to make Equius and Nepeta relevant in less than 25 pages
So Nepeta, the Rogue of Heart and a hunter, should be be able to take souls? Right?
She should be the one sniffing out the Treasure
Eventually she starts getting close
But oh no!
Lord English appears
We see his poolball eyes flicker to Equius cracked black shades for a mere moment
Just then a particularly STRONG herd of Equii appear to defend Nepeta
A lot look back to her and smile
The 100 Equii armies superb strength manages to hold him back long enough for Nepeta and the gang to get the treasure and run
Short, easy way to make both of them relevant and not only does it align with the plot, it makes them both more important instead of Vriska (like she needed it…) besides, she could be the one leading the search party who encourages Nepeta to track it. They would both develop