just be careful on the internet

Vent and something about me

This has been here before. I had a vent already, but today, this morning something just happened. Dont know what. I was angry, sad and mad. For no reason. But thanks to someone really special, i was able to stop grumbling, worrying and just sat down, listened and thinked.

And during the day i finally realized what was wrong. I am thinking of again losing those i care about, and i like. My unending wish to push myself forward meet new people, and just being always on the move, made me finally realize what i am losing, and leaving behind me.

Every person i met here on tumblr, DA, and generally the internet, has been nothing but amazing. With the passing time, which started at April 2016 i changed quite drastically my daily life, from literally doing nothing, and kinda surviving, to living, and achieving a goal. And…well, honestly it wasnt pleasant. Turning from a person who tries to not care about herself, into a person which cares a lot, was kinda a strong slap to the face. But i dont regret nothing. No matter how many depression i go through or how many times i fail at achieving what i wish for.

For nearly my whole life (im 24, by the way, you disgusting shippers) i have been pretty much walking through the life on my own. I literally tried many times to join a group, fandom, roleplaying DnD-session group, Larp group, art group…it never worked. Either the group would fall to pieces, not accept me, straight out push me away, or leave me alone. This has made a certain need for…company in my life. But it also has made this need so strong, that i oftenly miss very imporatnt things, and i think it grew to such immense need for attention, and a childish desire for publicity, that i never really found out what friendship really is. Sometimes i thought to myself its simple conversation on some daily, or weekly basis. Or maybe collabs, doing funny shizzles and crazy ideas, letting them grow, seeing them move through the world.

(Self drama intensifies)

But lately, i understood that my need for meeting new people, has brought me far, far away from the people i love the most. The people who have been here for me, when i firstly came to tumblr. And even if it does sound stupid, and just straight out naive and paranoid, the special person, who saved me today, from fallling into a deep pit of depression, gentle took me by the hands, and made me look back.

All of my friends and art-buddies i made, were just a bit way back, and i knew, that if i kept like this, just pushing onwards, i would lose them. It didnt matter if they were, or were not from different parts of the world, for me they were “here” when i needed them to be. I spend moments of fun and friendship with them, when i felt lonely or sad. They offered me nothing but a opened hand, a funny joke or a smile.

And i thought, i was about to loose it all. For you know, i never did art as much as i do now. In the past, like a year ago (january 2016 still) i did like 1 drawing for…two months. I didnt wish to do anything. And since i am here, i have activelly been doing daily a drawing. I honed my skill as an artist, i found a affection for art i never thought of having. But now i do understand that i never really did art, because i loved it. But because it helped me vent, focus my mind on something else, something that would just keep my mind occupied, not thinking of the bad things.

Besides art, let me tell you a other thing my friends. I LOVE to ROLEPLAY, i LOVE to TELL STORIES, some people from real life, told me even i am a natural born storyteller (DnD experience), yet ever since i came here to tumblr, i have realized that no matter how good you are, sometimes things just doesnt work the way you thought they would. Same with art. Sometimes it works, sometimes its….horribly fucked up.

So, i dont care if i have made around 30 attempts to join RP blogs, to whom i must have looked only like a creep, trying to sweet talk them. Or that i spoke to around 10 artists, to whom i must have behaved like a immense jerk and a pressure jackass.

I have already made great progress through 2016. It was a story of incredible emotional struggle, that started when @moonphyr @firereddragon and @zinyawolf helped me immensely, with my problems. They kinda, took the first steps, and literally held my hand. Together with theyre awesome buddy @lunaroatmealart who turned into a literal art-rival for me, they…well they showed me, there are people in the world to whom there is worth to behave with kindness and respect. No matter how far, or how different.

And from that point on Discord, it just kept on going. I met new people, people who gaved me hope, who offered theyre hand to me, helped me when i fell, laughed with me as i picked myself up, and walked beside me. And just like before, all i could think off was getting more. Absolutely forgetting what i already had.

And i cant tell you how much shame i feel for that. For behaving like that, and acting like that. So i decided just to stop. No new blogs, no new people to look for, because i finally found a home. And i found love, i never thought i would ever find. I found friends.

So…its kinda good. To have a group of people, that you can call “your” people.

@nextale @zinyawolf
@keru-the-green @neofox67 @kiacii @amachi-blaze @neon-pulze @yugogeer12 @bad-author @huroki @iamscanda @its-captain-senpai @underfellfangame @friskcz @shinydiamondblog @lynns-art-blog and @ravnicawatchwolf

Guys…thank you immensely, for being my people. And sorry, for almost screwing it up, again. I am very, very sorry. Thanks to you, i feel alive again :)

Special thanks to @xxmileikaivanaxx, for everything…

I HAVE INTERNET

IN MY HOME

I AM ON THE INTERNET WHILE SITTING IN MY PJS

THIS IS NOVEL AND I LOVE IT

god i have not been away because i wanted to be but because of
OH MY GOD THERE HAVE BEEN SO MANY PROBLEMS IN GETTING SETTLED HERE i almost want to hate it and just fly back home but there’s a lot of good stuff too and i know it’s just the beginning but SELF CARE HAS BEEN ALL BUT IMPOSSIBLE WITHOUT REGULAR WIFI ACCESS even my mobile data access has been crazy spotty and mostly useless in my flat

***DEEP BREATH***

hi. i live in a new country that is very different from my own. i have been having a mostly good time but i have all but run out of spoons because i have had no place to deeply recuperate. but now i have internet and a nest and it’s been 5 weeks and i am finally home.

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“So do words only matter when they come out of your mouth, then?”

-

Just something I kind of noticed that some of my irl friends do a lot. 

They’ll share all their opinions, ideas, jokes, stories, and I’ll listen. I’ll listen because I care about what they have to say, and I want to hear any kind of funny jokes or stories they might have.

But the moment I try to say something, they’ll ignore it, brush it off as nothing, or just give me the look. 

The look of “I’ll pretend to listen to you, but I’m not actually going to acknowledge that you’re speaking.”

That one.

And it just?? Hurts??

It’s one of the differences I’ve seen between my internet friends and irl friends.

At least my internet friends are actually interested in what I have to say.

Let me just say: if you’re gonna send me anon hate, you do you, but know that it will be insta-deleted & cause me no angst whatsoever. I’m sufficiently out of fucks to give & self-possessed to not care what an Internet stranger thinks of me, especially if you’ve not got the guts to come off anon & say it to me ‘face to face’ :)

Hey,,, so I know everyone is scared about our country (if you live in the US) but as your friendly internet mom here’s a reminder to:
-Take care of yourself!!!!
-STaY HyDraTED
-Here wrap yourself up in a warm blanket and have some tea 😘
-Try to stay off social media if it makes you anxious!!!! Read a book!!! Or you can text or Snapchat me ily 💖
-Everything will be OK, alright??? You’re strong. You can get through this!!!
-Don’t give up hope!
-Message me if you need support or just someone to talk to OK
Your friendly neighborhood mom,
Rory 😘

I’m sorry for posting so much about Barry O, guys. I’m just gonna miss him more than I can express. I was so young when I saw him, getting ready to vote for the first time. I crammed into the Minneapolis skyway with thousands of other people waiting to get into the Target Center.

He talked about everything I cared about and I’ll never forget that day because he made me believe that someone who truly could help me and my family would be in charge. He was the first president I ever voted for. He’s intelligent, funny, thoughtful, dignified, caring, well spoken, strong, honorable…he has every quality that I could have hoped for in a leader. He’s not perfect but that’s part of what makes me love him so much. He’s human, but among the best of us still.

I’m happy he can finally have a break from such a stressful job, since I still think anyone who wants that job is insane, but…I will miss you so much, O. Can’t even talk about it. Can barely write about it.

Stuff kids on tumblr better relearn

1. You are responsible for your own media experience. 

2. There is such a thing as a healthy level of avoidance towards topics that make you feel unwell or even (in a real-life clinical definition of the term) trigger you - but you are the one to actively take care of what you view.

3. Avoiding does not mean policing others.

4. You have no right to tell artists to censor themselves - you may criticize what others do, you may dislike it, that’s fine - but actively asking for censorship when you could easily unfollow or block a person just makes you look incompetent in your use of the internet.

5. Do not give people on tumblr or /any/ website the responsibility for your emotional well-being. Because these people do not even know you so no, you have no right to ask them to take care of you.

Shoutout to internet friends. They are actually so important bc you connect with them through similar interests and even though they live half the world away you put effort into your friendship and talk (almost) every day and care about each other and it’s just so so nice. Unlike some of the school/uni friendships that are based on pure necessity and as soon as you graduate you never talk again because you don’t see each other.
Shout out to all my peeps whose besties live thousands of miles away.
Shout out to all my friends that I’ve never met, you make me happy and ily all dearly💙🌍

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me actually trying to draw vs the quality content I create

But uhm??? Like this AU or future thing with a child is actually liked and I just feel very motivated to draw, so I just want to say a LOT of thanks! This fandom is so supportive and such a great place to hang around lmao

and yes, I forgot to draw wedding rings on Craig and Tweek in the previous comics because I am a dumbass

anonymous asked:

😶🤐 twitter~com/duaiouis/status/820711684956418048

https://mobile.twitter.com/duaiouis/status/820711684956418048 - in which world would Louis allow completely strangers on the Internet to send his baby son (who has been threated before) presents. In which world would he just let her do this, allow her to talk to /fans/ and give her adress to them. In which world a baby’s mama of a very famous person would be allowed to do this shit. Really, how can people believe Louis wouldn’t care about his baby safety to the point of letting the mom give her adress so fans can send her presents? Please god, just end this. This shit needs to end right now. This is an one year old baby’s life, not some fanfic

4

THINGS YOU CAN DO IF YOURE TIRED OF BEING ON THE INTERNET:
- write postcards
- take a walk
- paint something nice for another person
- learn a new recipe! Share with friends!
- pick up a book you’ve been neglecting
- call a friend you haven’t seen in a while
- shut yourself in the bathroom with a good playlist and try new makeup looks
- or just do some good old self-care! Baths, facials, body scrubs
- clean your room or organize a small part of it!
- say hello to your pets, ask them if they’d like to go outside
- invite some friends to go out for a meal
- see a movie by yourself
- see a movie with someone!
- drive around for a bit and see what you find
- have a quick dance party to recharge your mood
- wash and remake your bed! Feels so good, I promise
- do you play an instrument? Learn a new song! Or write one!
- write a short story or poem about your life fantasy. What is your dream life?
- sit by your window and wait for snow
- do you have any collections of things? Clean and organize them
- lay down on the floor and breathe for a moment
- light a candle and turn off the lights
- BUILD A BLANKET FORT!!!!! (My personal favorite)
- make lists of all the places you want to travel, all the things you want to do and see

#WeLoveYouPhilLester 💚

Recently, a youtuber named AmazingPhil has received a lot of hate from a lot of people on the internet. Which is insane! AmazingPhil has done so much, both for YouTube as a community and his subscribers individually. He loves us, cares for us, and he never gets anything in return.

This is not right. We want to pay him back for everything that he’s done for us.

We’re gonna use this hashtag and the green heart (his favourite colour) to show him that we care and that we love him for just the way he is. We’re gonna blow up twitter, facebook, instagram, tumblr, all the social medias we have. Phil Lester deserves so much more love than he gets, and this is our way of giving it to him.

Please reblog to spread the word.

psst thanksgiving can be hard…especially around a family that doesn’t support you or makes you feel alienated. just a lil reminder that no matter what you’ll always have people that love, support, and understand you(me for example) good luck kiddos and don’t listen to ‘em as long as you’re trying, that’s all that matters. love, your local internet dad

How did Viktor know the meaning behind Yuuri’s words? 

Now hold on just a second. Yuuri never said Will you marry me. He said Will you take care of me until I retire. WIll you take care of me is basically Japanese people’s way of proposing or so I just learned today. Not Russian’s.So that begs the question: How did Viktor know what it meant (or suspected what it meant?)

HE LOOKED IT UP BEFORE THIS HAPPENED DIDN’T HE. DID HE WANT TO TELL YUURI THAT HIMSELF?

OH BOY

And look at Yuuri’s face, even if he said it deliberately he didn’t think Viktor would get it.

Gods

You will never be able to pry the image of Viktor looking up the expression online with a goofy adorable look on his face away from me.

I, too, liked to shit on stuff other people liked when I was sixteen because let’s face it teenagers are fabulous assholes but honestly I just wanna look at pretty fanart without people busting into the tag like “I HAVE AN OPINION AND I WANT TO HAVE IT AS LOUDLY AS POSSIBLE” like

Dude

As you grow, you will begin to understand that not everything is black and white, you can enjoy problematic media, even while acknowledging its problema…nia… Yeah okay problemania, without suddenly becoming problematic yourself, because

(1) you are aware of the line between fiction and reality, (2) you no longer care as much about internet peer pressure (and yes, tumblr’s brand of social justice IS a very toxic form of peer pressure), and (3) you are not an idiot.

Of course you don’t watch The Matrix and think that shooting people is okay because they’re trapped inside a computer simulation. Of course things in the real world don’t turn out like in Disney movies. Of course you don’t read Royal Assassin and then start a letter writing campaign demanding to know who Taylor Swift’s catalyst is. Of course you don’t read a gay romance novel littered with yaoi tropes and then think people act that way in real life.

It’s a story, it’s fiction, and it’s important for you to realize that. YES it’s problematic, but goddamn it so is everything. Ender’s Game is a fantastic book written by a guy who thinks homosexuals should be imprisoned on an island somewhere. J R R Tolkien apparently forgot black people exist. Robin Hobb hates fanfiction. Taylor Swift won’t answer any of my letters!

What makes the story toxic or not depends solely on how YOU choose to interact with it. When I rec cap prince to people, I tell them “be warned there are some pretty gnarly things going on in these books, but it has a really entertaining story.” Then– and this is pretty important– I DONT go out and subjugate the nearest brown person, because that is not the part of the story I identified most with.

(Okay, I subjugate Sabra a LITTLE. but she likes it.)

Tumblr wants you to reject imperfect stories the same way it encourages you to reject imperfect people. Stick your head up out of the fog and realize how dangerous that is. How long until they come for whatever makes you happy? How long until they come for you?

Don’t read or watch things you don’t like, or that make you feel uncomfortable. But there’s no reason for you to police others, and no reason for them to police you. Let it go. Go find something that makes you happy and hold onto it.

Also get the hell out of my tag.

RFA+Saeran & V as Teachers (Pt. 5)

707: 

{Computer Programming and Internet Technology} 

  • makes dad jokes 24/7
  • is basically known as the living meme in the school
  • dude knows all the internet trends
  • legit the coolest teacher ever
  • trips up kids with facts about students that normal teachers wouldn’t know background checks, anyone?
  • doesn’t care if students sleep in class (he understands them all too well r.i.p) 
  • students are in awe during his in class demonstrations (he just works so damn fast omg) 
  • secretly teaches students how to hack 
    • bonus marks if they tell him something about another student that he didn’t already know
  • God Seven doesn’t understand why students need more than one class to finish an assignment 
  • needs MC to bring him lunch every day otherwise he’ll just eat Honey Buddha Chips with Ph.D Pepper
  • students call MC Mrs. Choi when they see her because Seven insists that that’s what she goes by more like he tells his students that she’s his waifu

(Stay tuned for Teacher Saeran :))

More: Yoosung; Zen; Jaehee; Jumin; V

Masterpost: click here

Askbox/Requests: click here

anonymous asked:

Hi. I'm cis. I'll also be a nurse practitioner in two years or so, and partly because of your blog, I've been giving a lot of thought to how best to be a real ally to trans folk in that role. Could you elaborate on why you think I shouldn't do (1)

healthcare for trans people? I want to actually help and not be an asshole who just thinks she’s helping. I want to increase access to care rather than gatekeep. Is there a way I can do that, do you think?

That post got a lot of cis people writing long thoughtful essays on why like having trans people in charge of or more a part of trans healthcare is bad or whatever, and like, honestly it was a 15 word text post on the internet that was coming off of an incredibly frustrating week in terms of like my interactions w medical professionals.

But this message got sent to me and like, I guess my thought here isn’t like “if yr cis and thinking of going into trans healthcare, DONT” because yeah it would be better to have people who are less terrible providing services. My honest opinion is that *all* doctors and medical professionals should be aware of and attentive to trans healthcare, not only because the chances of having a trans patient are increasing, but also because knowing about trans healthcare (patient autonomy, endocrinology, whatever) is just generally helpful for like practicing medicine in the first place for all one’s patients.

i have had healthcare around being trans in 3 different cities and 2 different countries over abt half a decade, multiple of these places were LGBT/women’s clinics that specifically highlighted their trans competency, or were surgeons who are seen as specializing in trans medicine. Both of the ones I went to recently were not only completely unable or unwilling to get the documentation I needed, but were actively and almost aggressively oblivious to the political situation and my anxieties that resulted in needing an incredibly simple document quickly. At none of these clinics have I ever been seen by a trans woman.

My points here for any cis person who would be looking to getting into healthcare that involves trans people are

1) Listen to your trans patients. Above everything, make sure to like, listen to their concerns and not act as if you are some sort of savior or like know their priorities better than they do. I’ve known my endocrinology better than multiple of the doctors I’ve seen, and I’ve been told incorrect information by doctors and professionals who think they know what I need for a form better than I do, but this is *my life*.

2) Most medical professionals are ime (at least) subconsciously physically repulsed by trans people (particularly trans women i’ve noticed) and stop being able to do normal medical school things like ‘take blood’ effectively when treating a trans client. I don’t know how to get over this, but fuck someone should try.

3) Trans people have healthcare needs that are independent of being trans. Since starting HRT i’ve had more cis medical professionals ask me either about my breasts or how I have sex than have asked about my exercise habits or my chronic pain.

4) Tbh part of the reason that I think trans people should be in trans healthcare is because I think so many of these organizations, medical professionals, etc are making so much money off of us, and we are currently a disproportionately poor demographic. If you know trans people in healthcare w you (particularly trans women, trans people of color, etc) and you hear abt clinic jobs or positions that serve many trans people, maybe those particular jobs that deal w many trans people could be better served than by a cis person, and potentially reccing those jobs to the trans people you know in the field might lead to a more stable community in general in a material sense.

5) Like, I don’t know yr life, and this is probably basic, but you should like… know and associate w trans people in yr day to day life if you are going to make a career off of our forced interactions w the medical establishment (and that’s what it is! we are hostage to gatekeepers every month/period of time that we need a script). Never forget that you are in a v. real position of easily-abused power given by cissexist institutions so that someone can simply exist.

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♥ Kenny + Kyle fusion ♥

haha i spent way too much time thinking this out.. here’s what i have in mind for their personality:

  • book smart & street smart
  • REALLY HARD WORKER
  • acts really snobby, but is actually super caring
  • lots of grumbling and mumbling
  • V E RY PROTECTIVE
  • lots of near death experiences
  • loves their little siblings
  • nerdy pick up lines
  • v perceptive
  • really hung up on doing whats right
  • spends a lot of time on the internet
  • that one guitar asshole that sings love songs
  • frugal
  • very poor health; gets sick easily
  • family is extremely important to them
  • terrible dancer (but loves going to raves)
  • struggles w/ faith and reality


> [ Creek Fusion ] <

real talk, folks...

take care of yourselves. if this election is stressing you out too much, step back and distract yourself. put on a movie, eat some ice cream, and B R E A T H E.

personally, i’m gonna hop off the internet for a while, and when i come back i’m just gonna listen to music, maybe draw some stuff, and go to bed. there’s no sense in stressing myself out over things i have no control over (especially since i already voted).

just remember to breathe.