Hello. I’ve never really done a proper theory post before, but I really hope I can manage to make my points clear? Because this is something I feel strongly about.
First of all, today is October 28th 2016, Homestuck had its Credits three days ago, and Hussie has been hinting at an Epilogue to come. Many people really want the Epilogue, because they feel Homestuck’s ending was unsatisfying. The reasons for this, and whether I agree with them or not, are up for debate and are more complex than they seem. But one reason people have proposed is that Hussie grew tired of writing Homestuck and just whipped up an ending. That is the viewpoint I absolutely disagree with, and I believe I can (if not prove) make a convincing case against. Which means I believe I can make a convincing case for the suggestion that Hussie had this entire ending planned, including people’s dissatisfaction with the ending and the reasons why they found it unsatisfying.
So then. What was the ending, again? Let’s describe it from the perspective of one who didn’t like the ending.
John finds his way into a rewritten world where his friends are not really the friends he knows. Roxy is dead here, indirectly killed by John’s own choice (but it’s okay because we know the real Roxy is still alive). The protagonists fight the Big Bad witch and inexplicably kill her with one lucky blow off-screen. A wolf thing, presented as a dire threat, has nothing to do with the actual fight and is neutralized and appeased naturally. A robotic killer is threatening but ultimately blows itself up. The audience is rewarded with, essentially, fanart of Homestuck characters being affectionate with each other. The audience is pissed off by this turn of events; after all that was built up, suddenly our favourite characters are being drawn by other people, suddenly all plot seems to have been forgotten and just strung together with contrivances. It feels like an insult to everything we’ve come to admire. The next Act, instead of providing more answers, we just get anime, and still not drawn by Hussie. A little while later, we hear again from the story, and we see our focal point character is despondent and mournful, deciding ultimately to take action and leaving us on a cliffhanger.
(I gave this description on Reddit, though I added the last sentence specifically for this post)
That is the ending, right? Let’s go over it again.
John finds his way into a retconned timeline, where the art is predominantly a different style than Hussie’s conventional (and when it is Hussie’s, it is “fast and loose”).
His friends are there, but John is consciously aware that they’re not literally the same people he has known all his life.
John’s very act of arriving in this retconned timeline (his Choice with Typheus in A6A6I4) necessitated that the new Roxy would have to die (which is okay because there is still the old Roxy).
The new John died before we came to this timeline.
The protagonists fight the witch (Batterwitch), the wolf (Jack), and the robot (different Jack).
The witch is inexplicably killed with one lucky blow. (The audience is rewarded with “fanart” of Homestuck characters being affectionate with each other, including a wedding.)
A wolf thing, presented as a dire threat, has nothing to do with the actual fight and is neutralized and appeased naturally, non-lethally.
A robotic killer is threatening but ultimately blows itself up.
The audience is pissed off by this turn of events; after all that was built up, suddenly our favourite characters are being drawn by other people, suddenly all plot seems to have been forgotten and just strung together with contrivances.
The next Act, instead of providing more answers, we just get anime, and still not drawn by Hussie.
A little while later, we hear again from the story (Credits), and we see our focal point character (John) is despondent and mournful…
…deciding ultimately to take action (fight Caliborn) and leaving us on a cliffhanger leading presumably up to the Masterpiece.
Does this… make sense? Do you see why I personally believe this whole “ending” is just another ruse, another instance of Homestuck being shaped like itself?
Another ramble against self-sacrifice and for self-care
(Note: I’m criticising a lot of modern popular stories in here, some of which I deeply love myself. Loving something doesn’t mean you can’t criticise it. So don’t read if that’s not your cup of tea. Also, this is obviously my personal opinion, you’re free to disagree.)
What I really hate and what keeps coming up in stories and forms of self-help, is the notion that loving someone means to sacrifice your self, your needs, your well-being for them. Look no further than Disney’s Frozen definition of love: “Love means putting someone else’s needs before yours.” And this is planted in the heads of young girls. Convenient.
Destroy that idea! When you love someone, OBVIOUSLY you don’t want them to suffer and most certainly not because of you! No one who loves you would want you to suppress your needs for them, nor to hide them in order to prevent conflict. Someone who loves you wants you to know your own value and to love yourself and to practise self-care! Not sacrificing your needs for others is an act of self-care and it’s scary how much courage this often takes for people these days, particularly girls, who still get taught that they have to accommodate other people’s needs.
This idealisation of sacrifice is a huge part of cultural/religious/historical baggage and it still carries on in society, and this is reflected in popular stories. Some big examples from the victorian age are “Little Dorrit” by Charles Dickens (the heroine is emotionally abused by her family, but she sees it necessary in order to be “good” to stay with them and comply to their every wish) and “The Mill on the Floss” by George Eliot (the heroine is in the same situation, though more rebellious, but every act of rebellion leaves her guilt-stricken, and in the end she heroically dies together with her abusive brother, glorifying the union and naturalness of family).
A modern-day example of a similar situation would be “Cinderella”, in which the heroine also stays with her abusive family, and the motto of the story is “Have courage and be kind.” In a more general manner, sacrifice also is idealised as the sign of “the good” in Harry Potter, Lord of the rings, and Star Wars. Harry’s ultimate heroic act is to die for all the people he wants to protect (which has been planned so by his mentor, a champion of “love”) and dying for someone even is one of the strongest types of magic you can perform!!!! (Let that morbidness sink in for a bit, my friends.)
Tolkien puts his take on it plain as well when he lets the deeply traumatised hero say before dying sailing into the west: “It must often be so, Sam, when things are in danger: some one has to give them up, lose them, so that others may keep them.” There’s a lot of arguing of how much christian philosophy Tolkien put into Lord of the rings, but whatever the source, it’s clear that this is another example for idealising self-sacrifice.
Lastly, in Star Wars we first have Luke who is ready to die in the attempt to bring his father back to the light, and then Darth Vader dies saving Luke. In the prequels we see Anakin being rebuked time and time again for not letting other people die, in others words, to sacrifice them. Yoda, the head of the order and embodiment of the jedi philosophy, predicts his downfall because of clinging to his individual feelings and needs (”train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.” = train yourself to sacrifice your needs). Selflessness as a jedi-ideal is explicitly named several times in the movies as well as in other parts of the saga. In The Clone Wars series, the Daughter (who is aligned with and symbolises the Light Side of the Force) dies trying to protect her father, and her last act before dying is to convey the rest of her life force into Ahsoka to save her. Anakin himself says in RotS, repeating what he learned: “They [the Sith] think inward, only about themselves. The Jedi are selfless…they only care about others.”
One could argue that a lot of times the heroes are in situations of high pressure and stress and their “sacrificing” is an impulse of the moment, nothing they really intended or might adhere to as a philosophy. But one has to remember that these are stories and the actions of a hero are thought-through by the authors of the story, who also wish to convey meaning with what they create. Associating sacrifice/selflessness with the heroes of a story is deeply symbolic, whether the author intended it or not (and I think in all these examples it’s pretty much impossible to argue that the authors didn’t intend this association. What reason they intended it for is another question - I’m not arguing here that these authors meant harm with it.). Furthermore, stories always work on a symbolic/psychological level, not a literal one - no one thinks that Harry Potter or Star Wars are about getting advice of how to face evil dark lords and how to best fight them or that that is something that might happen in your life. No, everything is more general, it’s about good and evil in general, how you react to it in any form, etc.
Of course, since these stories carry such general symbolism, you can also interpret more than one meaning into them. For example, Luke’s act of “sacrifice” can also be seen as a symbol of his individuality, that he sticks to his principles/morals (not to become the slave of the evil emperor, not to kill his father) no matter what. And also one has to keep in mind that the jedi really are as much the villains of the story as the Sith, if not even more so, so their philosophy isn’t one that is advertised to copy. Nevertheless, I think the theme of “selflessness is the mark of the hero” still rings through all of these examples (even in Ahsoka, Luke, and Anakin, who all turned their back on the “official” jedi), no matter what other symbolisms they carry (and these might as well contradict each other, just like people and life carry contradictions).
So in my opinion, to give the equation: sacrifice/selflessness = goodness, is highly questionable and dangerous, to put it mildly. It only adds to people feeling guilty when they assert their right to self-care (and I think a lot of people who are insecure, have had to struggle with emotional abuse or have low self-worth for other reasons, are often also people who look to fictional heroes as inspiration). Sacrifice should NOT be hailed as the ultimate act of love. What we need are a lot more stories in which self-care gets thematised and idealised, and clearly marking it as NOT selfish. Having villains who appear to only “care” about themselves (when they really don’t), opposing heroes who are ready to sacrifice their own self is extremely outdated and immoral, in my opinion. These archetypes might be mythological/religious remnants in which individual ambition/going against the common rules is shown as a danger to society/”the greater good” of majority - is that REALLY what people, what individuals need to internalise? Is that “good”? Let’s be honest, such a “moral” of the story only can help the oppressors, the people in power, who want you to resign and give up under the overwhelming helplessness and worthlessness of the individual in the age of mass ignorance, to hate yourself and buy lots and lots of products that tell you how to please others and get validated by others in sacrificing your self-care.
In the end, idealisation of self-sacrifice (and thereby marking self-care as selfish) profits the villains of real life.
Don’t get me wrong, one of Kara’s faults is looking before she leaps and she has a deep anger within her, but there was so much more they could have done with her in this episode that wouldn’t have taken away from Maggie being a badass, and would have painted a more realistic picture of Kara as a human being and not some straw man version of herself.
Truly, up until the speech Kara gave it felt like an entirely different show to me.
The problem I have with the argument that “Tamlin didn’t know the note Feyre sent was really written by her, especially since he didn’t know she could write and read now. He had every reason to think it was suspect” is that it so closely mirrors the type of rhetoric that people use to forgive abusers and reshape narratives of abuse in real life?
I mean it’s pretty simple:
Feyre = domestic abuse victim
Velaris = safe house
Inner Circle (and specifically rhys and mor)= people who help her escape abuse and get to the safe house
I mean, how many times, in real life, do we see domestic abusers angry and upset that their victims have escaped them? How often do those abusers go after their victims? I mean, that’s why the locations of safe houses are secret! That’s why there are entire networks of people devoted to keeping those houses safe and secret (the wards on velaris!!!!) Because abusers will try to prevent victims from leaving. And the reasons they give? “No one loves you like I love you” “I’m whats best for you” “I won’t do it again” “You can’t leave me because if you leave me I’ll do x, and x”
I mean, abusers, don’t exactly listen to what their victims say. They don’t listen to what the victim wants. They just…abuse and abuse and don’t really care about the victim’s opinion or wishes.
Fairly often, abusive husbands are angry when their wives and children escape and go to safe houses. They literally….will hunt women down.
So Tamlin’s reaction to Feyre leaving is…fairly in line with how abusers react in real life. He doesn’t listen to what she wants. It’s fairly clear that Feyre was unhappy…I mean her depression and eating disorder are obvious. She vomits from nightmares every night. It’s clear that she wasn’t being hurt by Rhysand all those times she went to the Night Court for a week and came back unharmed. She told Tamlin she was okay. She told him she was uninjured. So…Tamlin ignoring Feyre’s note is just another instance of him, an abuser, ignoring his partner’s wishes. It’s not a mistake on his part, nor is it an example of him trying to protect her.
It’s an example of an abusive man thinking that he knows better than the woman he is abusing.
Tamlin sends Lucien to HUNT FEYRE DOWN. He literally hunts her…to try and forcibly bring her back to the Spring Court. And yes, Feyre pretends to be all evil so that Lucien won’t know about Velaris but…Tamlin still doesn’t give up hunting her. He allies with Hybern in order to get her back. It’s sick and fucked up.
So I really…do not care that Tamlin might have had reason to think the note wasn’t from Feyre. Because at the end of the day, it’s just more of him being an abusive prick. And the logic of “but he didn’t know if she was okay!” mirrors how people in real life try to frame abuse. We constantly see this narrative in literature (fifty shades!) and real life that the abuser was just trying to do what was best for this victim and “didn’t mean” to hurt her. Okay well…ultimately it does not matter that Tamlin “didn’t know the note was actually from her.”
Would Tamlin have listened to it even if he had known, unequivocally, that it was from Feyre and represented her wishes?
Nope. Because…he doesn’t listen to her wants and needs even when she’s speaking directly to him. He didn’t allow her any freedom in the Spring Court even though it was killing her. Literally, she was wasting away. He didn’t care then, so why can we assume that he would have listened to the note had he known it was from her? We can’t. So you can’t really make the argument that “Tamlin didn’t know it was from her” because either way…his actions would have been the same.
He’s interesting in controlling and “protecting” Feyre, aka abusing her, he isn’t interested in listening to what she wants.
The argument that Tamlin didn’t know the note was from her implies that had he known, he would have acted differently. And that’s a false argument given what we know of his direct interactions with Feyre in acomaf (abusive! ignores her wants and needs). And…not only is it a false argument…it’s the type of argument that in real life…would be really detrimental to abusive victims.
Part 1 of 2 for the @kpoptrashnetwork Welcome Project. I WAS SO BLESSED to get to write for my love @eradikeats-writes . I hope you enjoy this as well as Spellbound (which will make an appearance on Monday). Love you so much queen!
Special shout out to @kpopfanfictrash for her genius and for coming up with the spell itself. She is just the best in case you all haven’t noticed.
Double double, toil and trouble If man you seek, this brew must bubble Add cinder, bone, and touch of strife To care for maker with his life He will protect this one he loves For something wicked this way comes
Tall, dark eyes, lips soft and full. He stares on, a looming presence you almost miss amongst the waves of people that surround you. But how could you miss him? He is yours. You know it the moment your eyes lock. He was made from your desires. Born from a spell. Your spell.
this might be an odd question, but did lafayette do anything particularly problematic?
Yes. Yes, he did.
As a teen, Lafayette was part of the Society of the Wooden Sword, a group of young nobility that basically ran around undermining the authority of the older generation of nobles. They did all sorts of off-the-wall things…for instance, feathers were thought to be too ostentatious by the older people at court, so the Society immediately started wearing them in their hats. Marie Antoinette loved them and their acts of infantile defiance. At one point, these boys decided to stop a group of these older nobles and held a mock trial for them, refusing to let them go until the trial was complete. Lafayette acted as prosecuting attorney during the ‘proceedings’…so, he basically just spent a few hours poking fun at them while pretending to be a lawyer. The nobles were so angry by their treatment that they petitioned the king to have the whole of the Society banned from court. The king laughed it off.
Lafayette’s rose-colored glasses make it nearly impossible for us to know what he thought when–unless serious research is done. By rose-colored glasses, I mean that Lafayette was the sort of man that saw everything in the best light. He was an idealist who romanticized almost everything around him…including himself. When he came to America, it wasn’t truly with patriotic intent. What was really going on was that his family had raised him with an understanding that he was from a line of soldiers, all of which died gloriously or at the very least, lived gloriously. After his immediate family passed away, he adopted Adrienne’s parents as his own…and they really didn’t think much of him. It was his attempt to prove himself and make his own life worthy of his namesake. I’ll talk more about all of this in a separate post later, but in short, Lafayette didn’t become enamored with American freedom until late in the war. The problem is that by the time he sat down to write his memoirs, he was 60…and had spent most of his life fighting for equality, human rights, and the ideologies he had picked up in America. One thing Lafayette really didn’t possess was a lying spirit. What ended up happening was that because he spent so much time committed to American thought and notions of liberty, he forgot that he hadn’t always been like that. It’s up to researchers and inquisitive minds to piece together what actually happened and if you read his early letters, his chief concern was the hope that going to America would make his in-laws think him worth something…that he would go and fight in a strange new land and possibly die and in that way, he would attain the glory he was seeking. He wasn’t like the other French officers that went with him. He showed humility, he offered to take lessor positions so long as he could stay in American service…he proved time and again that his character remained true. He simply didn’t realize what America meant to him until much later than even he thought.
Lafayette thought that Charles Lee was fugly. Before the notorious Battle of Monmouth, Lafayette finally got the chance to meet Lee face to face. He described the soon to be shamed general as ugly and said that the man’s nose was unbelievable. He later commented that he knew something had been fishy with Lee all along…but he’d written letters earlier saying that Lee was a jolly enough man. It’s just another instance of rose-colored glasses. The boy saw what he wanted to see, silly thing.
Lafayette got suckered, tried to get his American buds to try animal magnetism. So, back in the 1780′s, a quack named Franz Anton Mesmer came up with supposed cure-all. He proposed that a certain invisible fluid was contained in the human body and that if it could be manipulated, bodily complaints would just magically go away. Lafayette, who had become a member of a couple intellectual societies in American long-distance, wanted to present his US friends with a notable contribution. He decided to try this treatment personally. Basically, it consisted of people sitting in or around a giant tub that had ropes, rods, and chains attached to it. The device would be ‘activated’…whatever that means, and magnetism would cause a sensation through people’s bodies. Some people reacted so violently that they had to be carried to what this guy called a ‘crisis room’ where they basically lay on beds until they stopped convulsing. Lafayette was so stunned by all of it that he was sure it had to work. He wrote to America and shortly afterwards, visited the US where he tried to convince people the method worked. Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Jefferson, along with a few others, told him to give it up and warned him that he was being taken in by a scam. For whatever reason, he was so convinced that it worked that he never renounced it.
just wanted to tell you, as a filipina from an asian household who grew up with plenty of other asians: your comic is funny, relatable, and tastefully done on top of being well-drawn. i feel like this is just another instance of people getting offended on behalf of another race because in reality, they're the ones who don't get it. we like our rice cookers. rice is a staple food for us. no need to make it weird guys, hanzo's just excited about a SWEET DEAL on a core asian household appliance.
Thank you my dude….thank you so much.
And also, as someone from a latinx household where owning a rice cooker is about as important as having wifi, where rice takes up 50% of your damn plate, where rice cookers are given away as prizes on game shows…IF IT’S HALF PRICE YOU CAN BET I’M GETTING AT LEAST 2.
hey i just wanted to say srry for like. bashing on u for ur comic, i didnt know that wss ur gf, it just, w/o context. seemed very homophobicish... and it rlly upset me, after reading ur response i def feel bad but like, for future ref, dont post stuff like that? like its just gonna start discourse since gay ppl like me are vry protective of our sexuality
first of all i just want to thank you for this message and the apology, i do appreciate it. my girlfriend and i are both gay and open activists for queer and trans rights where we live so i totally know where you’re coming from
it’s not very fair to place the responsibility on me to not post ace-gay content.. the context is all over my blog if you take the short amount of time to click my username and see that i am a very openly gay ace person. my blog is full of silly little personal comics about my life and my interactions with my girlfriend.
i have been openly asexual panromantic (primarily woman-attracted) on my blog for at least four years, and while i acknowledge that there has been a lot of conflict about asexuality on tumblr recently, i don’t believe that this should be allowed to limit my sharing of my ace experiences.
asexuality outside of tumblr has almost no visibility and i make it a point in my life to be very open about my experiences as both an asexual person and a gay person to normalize them.
sexuality, lack of sexuality, and attraction to different genders are all completely normal and need to be treated as such, so i will not stop talking about them.
this comic was just a reflection of another instance of me as an ace person coming to a sudden understanding of non-ace experiences in an interaction with my non-ace girlfriend (the last panel is us sleeping in the same bed, i hoped that would convey our relationship to any non-followers of mine that might see the comic).
thank you for your apology and for coming to me directly with your concerns. i’m grateful to have heard and understood your view on the matter, and i hope you’ll take the time to understand mine.
[DISCLAIMER; ALL THIS IS SPECULATION AND I’M NOT AT ALL CLAIMING TO HAVE ‘INSIDER INFO’. ALL I HAVE IS WHAT IS PUBLICLY AVAILABLE TO READ/WATCH/HEAR].
Okay so everyone knows that Floriana Lima will have a reduced, recurring role in season 3. The exact number of episodes she’ll be in remain unclear…but I can’t help but think about how weird this whole situation seems. The showrunners have claimed that the demotion was Flo’s decision and that she wants to persue other opportunities and, therefore, has limited availability this season. That may well be the case but it may also not be. Here are a few interesting points to consider:
1. Chyler stated in a podcast at the end of June that she and Flo were ‘fighting’ for Sanvers. Why are they having to fight if it was Flo’s decision to step back? As a fellow actress, and seemingly good friend, Chyler would almost certainly understand Flo’s reasons to look for roles that offer more screentime/storyline to sink her teeth into.
2. Around the time of this podcast, after the cast got the first script of the season, Chyler suddenly instagrammed this picture, titled ‘Find yourself a girl who’s always got your back…’. It was her first post about the show since the finale and it was kinda came out of nowhere. And then Flo commented ‘Gotcha babe.’. This around the time Chyler said they were ‘fighting for Sanvers’? Coincidental timing?
3. This video from SDCC. Watch from 4:00 when they mention Flo. Note the sudden sombre/serious tone. Melissa (who’s usually upbeat) is noticeably off discussing it and Jeremy also looks very solemn. Why? If it was their castmate wanting to persue other opportunities, they’d be supportive, right?
4. And Jeremy and Melissa? To quote Flo herself, just a few days ago, ‘they’re the BEST’. Flo rarely posts on social media and the only other castmember she posted a picture of on IG last season was Chyler. Sure, the SG cast seems a close knit bunch but this is just another instance of timing that seems very coincidental.
5. And let’s look at Flo’s twitter. When the demotion was announced, a demotion that was supposedly her choice, she liked some very interesting tweets. One was a tweet about ‘the LGBT comm always gets kicked in the head’. One was a tweet to the producers about how she ‘deserves better’. The most interesting tweet she liked? Was one about her ‘selective’ liking of tweets. Again, she’s rarely on social media but for her to come online that evening for a couple of hours and like those sort of tweets? It’s noteworthy.
6. Oh and there’s also this tweet from a few days ago she liked about how there’s ‘more to the story’.
Maybe this is over-analyzing everything. Maybe it’s not. Again, I am not claiming to have any ‘insider knowledge’, I’m just presenting what everyone can see. And, in my opinion, there’s a lot more to the story than what we’ve officially been told.
And it’ll be very interesting to see what she’ll be working on next if she’s supposedly so busy she can’t return on a regular basis…
What is the worst thing thats happened to you in the sugar bowl?
One time a POT wanted to buy nudes from me and everything was going smoothly, he sent the money to my paypal and I sent him the nudes. After I sent them he told me he wanted one of my ass and I told him he could pay for one. He freaked out saying he wanted one all along and I was scamming him. When I refused to send one for free he told me he was going to post the ones I already sent on Facebook and porn sites if I didn’t send one of my ass. Of course I don’t use my real name and my face wasn’t in the nudes so it didn’t really matter even if he did, but it was such a disgusting thing for him to do. I never replied and he messaged me a few more times, but I haven’t heard from him since. This is just yet another instance where it’s very important to keep your personal information private and protect yourself from these horrible men.
Nothing major. Just that it seems as though Harry/Harry’s team may have become aware of fandom upset over it. It’s very much not unusual to charge more for things over a size XL. But it seems very Harry to not want that price difference. Merch is one of the main avenues of revenue for artists and I think it’s cool that he would put the comfort and happiness of his fans over earning a few extra dollars. It’s just another instance of Harry walking the walk. He’s a good guy. I’m proud to be a fan.
Summary: You find Credence after the subway incident and take him to safety. Part 1/? (Check out part two here!!) (And part three here) (And part four here)
Warnings: Mentions of abuse
Word Count: 1,567
You ran through the streets like everyone else the day that
the angry black smoke obliterated the sky. Your feet couldn’t keep up with your
mind as you considered what you’d heard circulating the magical world in New
York, that everything happening lately could be attributed to an obscurus. This
must have been that obscurus, tearing through the city, unapologetic in its
destruction. Your heart was pounding too hard, but you followed anyway, trying
to gather as much information as you could. Eventually the smoke swept down and
away toward the subway, and you couldn’t see anymore, since there was a magical
ward keeping everyone out of the subway where the smoke had disappeared.
Most of the time you stood there after the obscurus had
disappeared was spent worrying, before all sound stopped coming from the subway
and the rain obliviated everyone around you. No wizard coming out afterward
would give you an answer as to what had happened when you asked. You stood
there for hours, still wondering what had happened (if you would ever know what
happened). But you couldn’t stand there forever, so you started to make your
way home. You were so wrapped up in your confusion and worry that you almost
missed the whimpering coming from the alley as you passed. Luckily, it was just
loud enough that you did notice, and you stopped, peering closely down into the
A flash of pale flesh was enough to tell you that it was a
person in there and that you had, in fact, heard crying. Your heart began to
pound again as you stepped cautiously toward the figure, clutching your bag
tightly to your chest. As you got closer, you saw familiar raven-black hair and
petrified honey-brown eyes. “Credence.”
Your voice ripped from you as soon as you recognized him, the fearful boy that
cowered and avoided eye contact as he passed out flyers during NSPS rallies. You
had seen him a few times and had learned his name after yelling at someone who
had been rude to him. You’d been sure to attend every meeting afterward so that
you could look after him as much as you could.
His head jerked at your voice, and his limbs were all sharp
turns tangled together. Your heart lurched when you took in his tear-stained
face, the fear radiating from him, the uncertainty. “H-Help me.” His voice was
even softer than usual, even more uncertain, and his eyes kept flashing white
and then returning to normal, wisps of black cloud swirling around him. You
realized with some surprise that he was the obscurus, that he had been the one
ripping through the city. He tried to free his arm from underneath him, and
without a second thought, you leapt toward him and took his hand, helping him
up. “Y-Y/N, help me.” Desperation was leaking into his voice, and you knew you
couldn’t leave him.
You lifted him with some effort, and he clung to you. He
knew that he should be more cautious, especially after Mr. Graves’ betrayal,
but he just didn’t have that luxury, not when it was so, so cold outside and
when he was alone, and not when you were so, so warm holding onto him, not
letting him go, not when there was so much worry in your eyes. “We’ll go home.
We’ll go to my apartment. I’ll take care of you, Credence, I’ll take care of
you.” His eyes fluttered closed and he held on so tightly as he nodded, yes yes
You apparated straight to your home, revealing yourself
immediately as a witch. He wasn’t surprised, not really, but he was certainly
thankful that you were able to get him somewhere safer than an alley quickly.
He let you guide him to your couch and put him there gently, wrapping a blanket
gently around his shoulders. He was thankful for this foreign warmth, the
softness of the cloth as it touched his shoulders. Some part of him warned him
to be careful, that this could be a trap, that you could hurt him, but he just
couldn’t muster up the caution. He was just so warm and he felt so safe, and he
couldn’t feel this safe if he wasn’t, right? He had never felt safe before. But
your Y/E/C eyes held something in them, and he couldn’t fight the safety he saw
there. You had protected him on more than one occasion, and this was just
another instance of your wish to protect him. He followed your movements when
you came into the room holding a bowl. “It’s soup. Are you hungry, Credence?”
He nodded softly, looking to the ground, regaining some kind
of control. He took the bowl from your hands and nearly dropped it when you
trailed your hands against his in the process. You noticed, of course, and let
your hand rest there a little longer before sitting next to him on the couch. “They-They
tried to kill me. For what I am.” Credence couldn’t really say the words out
loud, fearing what admitting it aloud would mean.
“An obscurus.” You looked at him steadily, gently taking his
hand. He met your eyes briefly and nodded. “Does anyone know that you survived?”
He shook his head. “Is that why you were alone, Credence?” A quick glance and a
nod. You furrowed your eyebrows and took him in again: wet, muddy clothes and
broken face, scarred hands clutching the blanket tightly, eyes fearful but
cautiously trusting. You noted that he was so beautiful, sitting there next to
you, and that he deserved so much more than what he was being given. “Well, I’m
not going to leave you alone anywhere, Credence. Please, stay here as long as
you need to be safe.”
He couldn’t help the tears that filled his eyes, and he
couldn’t help but lean into your hand as you swept them out of his eyes. He
knew that you were doing this out of kindness, and that just made him cry
harder. After all, you didn’t know him too well, merely chatted with him at his
Ma’s rallies, and now you knew how dangerous he was, seeing what he’d done to
the city. Still, you offered kindness unabashedly. You kept your hands on his
face, seeing how much he seemed to crave the touch. “Let me get you some clean
clothes. My ex left a few things here that might fit you, and those clothes
aren’t doing you any favors. You must have been so cold out there. You can come
with me to fetch them, if you like, or I could bring them to you.”
He silently stood as you got up to leave. You sent a kind
smile his way and grabbed his hand as you made your way to your room. The
clothes did, in fact, fit, and he was glad to have the wet clothes off of his
body. He was so tired, and his limbs felt so heavy; he didn’t know how much
longer he’d be able to carry those heavy clothes around. You noticed his
eyelids drooping and offered, “Why don’t you lie down, Credence? You can have
He met your eyes as he unhunched his shoulders. “I-I couldn’t
possibly.” You shook your head and gestured toward the bed, eyes conveying a
silent ‘Please’ as you ushered him softly toward it. “T-Thank you,” he said
Your smile was so impossibly gentle as you said, “You
deserve a good sleep, Credence.” He didn’t know what he believed in, but for a
moment, he thought you were an angel. He berated himself for that, knowing what
his Ma would have said of his blasphemy, what she would have done—“Credence?”
You looked very concerned having seen the panic cross his face, the fear taking
his features over so suddenly. You loosely grasped his wrist, stroking the
inside as you asked, “Is something wrong?”
He tried to push down the fear; his mother was gone, after
all. But the fear remained as he looped his fingers loosely around your wrist
that gripped his. “W-Will you stay?” He didn’t know why, but he needed you
close, needed the comfort you radiated. You nodded softly, and he said nothing
about the scars he saw on your body when you changed quickly in front of him
before lying down next to him under the sheets.
You saw him notice them though. “Life really can be unkind
to the kindest people, can’t it, Credence?” You offered.
He lowered his eyes and felt your hands tracing his neck
lightly. “Y-Yes, it can be.” He met your gaze timidly before saying, “Thank you—for
this, for taking me somewhere s-safe.”
Your smile was radiant, and he felt wilted and dark next to
it. “You’re welcome.” Your voice was so bold in the darkness, and he wondered
how you could be so bold and kind after whatever unkindness you may have been
dealt. “And Credence?” He looked up again, taken away from his train of
thought. “I also hope you know that you are not an obscurus.” His eyebrows
furrowed as curiosity won him over as he continued your eye-contact. “You’re
Credence. Over everything, you are Credence.”
He was thankful to hear that, but he couldn’t figure out why
as he drifted off to sleep with your hand against his face.
Notes: I love Fili so much. Maybe that why I don’t mind taking four hours to finish this, haha. I really like the way this one turned out, although the ending is a bit rocky because, y'know, why would you want something like this to end? ;) Anyways, I hope you like this, sweetcocoberry! Thank you so much for placing this request from me. Hope y'all enjoyyyy. <3
So hi I'm not at all involved in spn meta world but I saw a post or two about the horseman famine episode with the sex and burger and how Dean claimed when he was hungry for something he'd feed himself and here he is now feeding himself multiple things. Work, weapons, sex, food. He even grosses himself out when the food is wrong. He's craving something or his worry for Cas and he's trying to fill the empty. Right? His behavior is 100% understandable and explainable.
Yeah, the most recent four posts in my tag for 5.14 (My Bloody Valentine, the episode with Famine) are all about 12.18.
(I guess once this posts, it’ll be five…)
SAM I thought famine meant starvation, like as in, you know, food. CASTIEL Yes. Absolutely. But not just food. I mean, everyone seems to be starving for something–Sex, attention, drugs, love…
I don’t think that’s meant to be an exhaustive list of the things people might be “starving” for, either, just like the list of “human things” he gave Hannah in 10.01 wasn’t meant to be the entirety of human things that angels don’t understand (art, hope, love, dreams).
This time there was no magical outside force at work on Dean, just his own internal issues. I already wrote about that some in this post.
This struck me equally hard as a parallel for Dean’s tendency to self-medicate his problems. Sometimes it’s through actual medication (like the time he offered Sam a bottle of random pills and when questioned what they are Dean only replies, “effective.”) He’s long ago learned how to manage these sorts of problems for himself. His whole life, he really didn’t have the time or space (heh) to have the same sort of extreme reaction to his situation that Sam did in running away from hunting and going to college.
And heck, this strikes me as both a “parental” thing and a depression/anxiety/insert the mental health issue of your choice here coping method. And it’s ALSO part of the reason why sublimation has been one of his go-to coping strategies. He couldn’t usually show any of this “weakness” to Sam, as the most consistent parental figure in Sam’s life. It was easier to just play off a lot of his coping strategies as who he was as a person instead of admitting that they WERE coping strategies.
And heck now I’m sadly thinking of 4.13 again, where we see Dean’s difficulties. John has abandoned them for a much longer time than normal, Dean’s stuck in this school watching over Sam while also worried about John and angry about having been left behind again, and he plays it all off as this “bad boy” character who doesn’t care about anything. The other students, like Sam’s friend Paul and initially the girl Dean is interested in, think he’s “cool,” but we eventually see through it here.
Amanda calls him out, saying she thought there was something more to Dean because of how he relates to his brother (kind, caring, gentle, etc.), but he enacts his womanizing persona and goes after another girl because things were actually getting too serious with her. He wasn’t allowed to have a serious relationship with anyone, but he was never going to stick around long enough for that. John would come back, and he’d have to drop everything and disappear again. Just like with Robin in 9.07. It was a self defense mechanism against being hurt again, but he still needed that kind of comfort and reassurance that comes from human touch, you know? So he got really good at satisfying that need.
And it’s part of his self-medication arsenal, along with drugs, with fighting, with using food this way, along with hustling pool (because hey it not only satisfies that need to be good at something and score a win, but also keep the family afloat), with hunting in general. We often see him trying to work out a problem or distract himself from a problem he can’t solve by maintaining his weapons (sharpening a knife, cleaning a gun, or a whole arsenal of guns) like at the beginning of 12.18.
But because these are coping strategies he uses in order to avoid having “chick flick moments,” (and yes, we know he loves chick flicks and so does Sam), the only way he can avoid a chick flick moment of his own with Sam (who is always pushing him to talk about his issues rather than act out), is to have made his coping strategies seem like another normal part of his personality.
This goes to the foundations of “Performing Dean.” He is absolutely not that jerk Sam has laughed about who gets weird about food or sex or whatever coping strategy he’s employing at the time. I mean, going all the way back to 1.03 Sam didn’t get that Dean WASN’T just being Dean and creepily hitting on Andrea like he’d been ogling their waitress at the beginning of the episode. Seeing the way Dean treated Lucas was shocking to him, and showed him a side of Dean that Dean largely kept hidden from Sam… because it was a side that had RAISED Sam, essentially.
But now in s12, Sam is finally seeing Dean drop that performance a little bit. He only seems to haul it out when he’s seeking out one of his go-to coping tools. In 12.18 it was almost like watching two different Deans. The worried, meticulously cleaning all the guns while getting frustrated about a lack of communication from Cas version, which led directly to his abrupt dropping of everything related to researching the case to get his fix (sleeping with Carmen, then having his weird food battle with Sam, finally ending when all his needs were satisfied when he got that burger), and then everything that happened after that. And it all hinged on what he said to Sam in the conversation at the lunch counter right after visiting the meat factory:
Sam: Seriously, Dean? After what we just saw? How– how can you eat? Dean: Grow up, Sam, okay? Burger’s beef, bacon’s pig, Soylent Green’s people. But this – this… This is Heaven. Sam: (going on a face journey of ew) Wow… right…Um, so… uh, What’s the word, you find anything?
All while “Burgers and Fries” plays in the background: “Burgers and fries, cherry pies, it was simple and good back then.”
And Sam’s a bit shocked not only at Dean’s words and his ability to keep eating when he “should’ve been” grossed out, but at Dean’s tone of voice. At first with the “Grow up, Sam, okay?” he sounds at the very least frustrated that Sam doesn’t get the nuances of Dean’s performance yet. Because part of that performance has always been Sam openly joking about what a jerk Dean can be, or how gross he is sometimes, and Dean is normally content to play along and joke right back. Like, haha yeah I’m just a walking stereotype nothing to see here just keep moving along as you were people just Dean being Dean.
And right here, Dean’s trying to show Sam that it’s not always or entirely something to joke about. It might have been simple and good back then, but it’s not anymore.
I think this is just another instance of Dean showing Sam something more truthful about himself, and he doesn’t appreciate being teased about it as if it was just another “Dean being gross and weird” sort of thing.
At the beginning of 12.18 while he was cleaning the Colt, Sam had been responding to Dean’s concern about Cas with reassurances, and the “he’ll be fine, he always is,” sort of thing before Dean changed the subject to finding Dagon.
Sam says he’s been up all night looking at books on demons, while we’re left to wonder what DEAN was doing all night if he wasn’t looking at books on demons. But he just TOLD us what he’s been doing… he’s been looking for Cas (well, with the limited tools available to human beings looking for angels who don’t seem to want to be found and might not even be alive if they were hunting Dagon who seems to be able to vaporize angels with her mind…)
And we see that worry play out in his behavior, getting antsier and more distracted from the case, relying on his Kill Everything (but five things) Gun to take care of the case for him, and seeking out his drug of choice to help him deal with his worry.
Just like he said in 5.14, when he wants something, he gets it. When he has a need, he fills it. Maybe not with the right thing to take care of the underlying problem that’s causing the need, but with the sort of temporary fix that he’s learned will help him cope.
And whoa yeah that’s no way to live, but Dean seems to recognize this too. It’s just he doesn’t really have a way to solve that underlying problem right now in the middle of this other case, but even with the Colt, hunting gods can get you real dead real fast if you’re too distracted by those problems to do the job properly.
I don’t even remember what the question was at this point. But here have a patented Mittens Rambling Mess Of Tangents. :P
This quote is so simple but so powerful. This is just another instance of Michonne being there for him. This is her supporting him emotionally (which Rick has never had before) but also gently pushing him to go against his gut and try something new. She’s telling him that no matter what happens behind those gates, she’s there and she’s got his back. Plus, I just love the breath Rick lets out as she grabs his hand. He’s scared, but he’s ready, because he knows that she’s there beside him.
“I was afraid you’d talk me out of it. You could’ve.”
This man is putting his heart and soul on the ground for her to pick up. He’s literallytelling her that she, and she alone, has the power to make him change his mind. He had to lie (which we all know bothered the hell out of him. He even told Carol that he didn’t want to lie anymore) to keep himself from needing her validation on whether or not he was making the right decision. No one, not Glenn, not Daryl, not Herschel, has ever been able to sway this man’s decisions or shrewd judgement calls. Even if they could have, he would have never admitted it out loud, let alone to their faces. But with Michonne? Psssh. He melts into a puddle, and the best part about it, is that he knows it.
No. At least not in our current state of evolution. You see evil which we can define as the deliberate and conscious assertion of control over the person or property of another to their harm and without their permission stems from animal instinct. It comes from lack of empathy, lack of compassion and a desire to take from another. This is covetousness.
This is why psychopaths are seen as the very definition of evil. Rapists, serial killers, rampage killers even vicious dictators all have this in common. You do not matter. You are just an object and only I am real and matter. You have what I want and I will take it by force, coercion and deception. Like all predators evil people go for the weakest target. The weaker the target the less likely harm will come and the greater likelihood of success of the attack.
No compassionate person can be evil because no compassionate person sees other people as insignificant or as mere objects. See why compassion is the cornerstone of our ethical system? It isn’t so we will all be Mother Theresa. It is because if we are compassionate we are also shielded against the evil lurking in our own hearts.
Psychopaths are born. Not all are evil. Many people who commit evil acts are products of their own experience with cruelty and evil. It is a cycle. However, some people are born with the propensity for violence and it manifests itself very early on in life. When people are objects then they are there for your use. This is why we avoid self centeredness. When we are self centered others do not have the same importance as we do.
Evil will never be contained until we evolve past our animal instincts for gain at the expense of our neighbors. This is one reason why we are vegetarian. Eating meat, while clearly natural for humans, involves the killing and taking from the body of another living creature. In a survival situation meat eating would make perfect sense. However, in our abundant society it is just another instance of animal behavior.