I’ve been thinking about my life and all of
the mistakes that I’ve made – the ones that stay with me or the ones that I
regret are the ones that I made because of fear. For a long time I was afraid to be who I am
because I was taught by my parents that there’s something wrong with someone
like me – something offensive, something you will avoid, maybe even pity.
Something that you could never love.
My mom – she’s a fan of St. Thomas Aquinas
and she calls Pride a sin. And of all
the venal and moral sins St. Thomas saw pride as the queen of the seven deadly
sins. He saw it as the ultimate gateway
sin that would turn you quickly into a sinaholic. But hating isn’t a sin on that list. Neither is shame.
I was afraid of this parade because I
wanted so badly to be a part of it. So
today I’m marching for that part of me that was once too afraid to march and
for all the people who can’t march: the
people living lives like I did. Today I
march to remember that I’m not just a me. I’m also a we and we march with
I am Eren jager I am 19 years old and a tattoo artist. Today is Saturday, tomorrow I am visiting my mothers grave like all my other Sunday’s. She died a year ago and I visit her whenever I can. In my opinion it’s not enough and it kills me but it’s what is necessary.
I am currently tattooing a rose on a man with blonde hair. He has massive eyebrows and his shoulders are probably broader then a doorway. I am not really interested in his chat today because it is way too close to closing hours. I can barely wait.
I finish the tattoo moderately quickly since roses are my specialty. I stand up and admire my work that has been placed on this mans wrist. And then stand up to get clean film to wrap his wrist in. My knees creak as I walk because of the uncomfortable stool I had been sitting on and the long duration of time it took. Even for a small rose it takes a long time.
“Will my tattoo hurt tomorrow as well?” He says.
Dammit does no one do there research? These are permanent for goodness sake.
“Hurt for a few days more as well.”
I walk back over to him with a sheet of clean film and wrap him up gently because it already looks like he is about to cry and I really don’t want to deal with that. I walk over to the cash register with him following sharing a quick few words about the price and such. When I get to the register I quickly say things about general hygiene and keeping your tattoo clean and looking good. We share a quick glance then he leaves. Just another day in the shop I suppose.
I make my way over to my boss who is in the back probably doing paper work.
“Hey Mr. Pixsis that’s me done for today so I will be going.”
“That’s fine Eren have a nice night.”
Mr.Pixis is a bald man with wrinkles at the side of his eyes and he always wore a badly matching shirt and tie. He has tattoos up his arms of various things like birds and flowers typical tattoo things.
My various tattoos are a large crest with wings in it on my back, a tare in the right side of my rib cage showing a red skinless face, a half sleeve of Tim burtons the nightmare before Christmas, some of Banksy’s work on my arms and a mechanical steam punk style tare in my calf. I also have a nose ring and a few ear piercings. My look has been described as many things but I prefer punk.
After I leave work I go straight home back to my apartment.
My apartment is only a mile or two away so I always walk home, I look around me as I walk seeing passing cars and the occasional bike rider it was 5 o'clock so the roads were just about to get busy from people going home from work. When I reach my apartment I put some pasta and tomato on my stove to eat for my dinner and I begin sketching things in my notepad mainly my mother or flowers. That’s another thing I need to get tomorrow, flowers for mother. I went back through to my kitchen and put my pasta in the bowl along with the tomato sauce. I began eating while searching different up on my iPad. After I ate I took a shower I must have been in there for about 20 minutes thinking about well… Nothing really. I went to bed after my shower because I did not have much left to do that night.
I woke up and looked in the mirror my hair was a mess I brushed it and it was still a bit fluffy. I needed to dress up at least half decent for mother.
I was ready to go quickly and I didn’t feel like breakfast today so I decided to leave right away. I got on to my motorcycle and put on my cat ear helmet and drove through town over to a small parking lot near the grave yard.
There was a small florist across the road so I went there and bought a bouquet of a mixture of red and yellow roses she always liked the colour red and yellow.
I walked over to the grave yard it had a big arch for a doorway with metal gates. I walked through the gates towards mother’s grave it was near the back. When I reached it I put the flowers down and picked the old bouquet up to put in the trash can.
I saw a man probably three rows of graves away from me. We met eyes for a moment. He had black hair with bangs at the side of his hair. He looked quite short and was wearing a long jacket buttoned up. That wasn’t why I was here though I am being selfish. I talked at mother for a while and then said my goodbyes.
I walked over to a small coffee shop just down the road where I am kind of a regular. I walked inside and the smell of coffee instantly rushed over me it was lovely.
I walked over to the counter and talked to one of the waitresses that I am familiar with and ordered my coffee and a cinnamon swirl. I then sat down at a table by the corner of the cafe. I was looking around the place and I noticed the guy from the grave yard sitting across the room he seemed to be staring at something behind me.
I felt incredibly awkward at this moment so I just stared at my coffee.
My name is Levi Ackerman I am 21 years old and own a local bakery.
My day started off boring I was having a day off from the bakery so I decided to visit my uncle who died around 2 and a half years ago I didn’t really like him that much but I guess I am expected to go see his head stone once in a while.
After I got ready and cleaned my apartment from head to toe I got in my car and turned the heating on instantly after a minute of warming up I set off for the graveyard. When I got there I said a quick hello and told uncle Kenny about what’s going on in the world I think thats what you do.
After a while of just standing there looking at the scene I saw another man walk in to the grave yard. He was talking to the grave for a moment then he looked up and we met eyes but just for a second.
He then turned back to the grave. I suddenly wanted to know more about him like a curious narrator or something stupid like that. He was there for a little while I kind of just spent most of my time observing the man but I decided he was not going to budge in a hurry so I went to a local cafe which I supply with cakes.
After a while of sitting in the cafe with my coffee feeling very comfortable and warm.
I then noticed the man from the graveyard come in to the shop I got to see him up close he looked like if a punk were to be a Katy Perry fan.
When a waitress came over to take my order I asked her about him they seemed friendly towards each other.
“Oh the one in the corner?” The waitress said in a curious tone.
I replied with a quick but friendly “Yes who is he?”
“That’s Eren he comes here every Sunday straight from the cemetery.”
After she told me this I instantly thought that I had gone too far it was his business not mine.
I spoke a quiet thank you and she left with my order.
The waitress walked off happily. I guess that was all I could know about him for the moment. I my coffee happily and left the warm comfort of the cafe.
I left in my car I was just going to go home after all I had nothing else to do. When I got back home I made some toast and did not do much else. I sat and ate and then my thoughts returned to that boy Eren, I would like to see him again I think.
Just visited mother again I am so tired of everything being the same I like my job I just don’t like the repetition. I walk in to the local cafe again and say hi to the waitress.
I sit in the corner with my tea and cinnamon swirl I am mixing things up today with tea. I look around the place and see that man again in the corner. I call the waitress over and ask about him.
“Hey who is that in the corner?”
“Oh him? That’s Levi Ackerman he supplies this shop with confectionery but we don’t see him a lot round here in fact last week he was asking about you.”
She then sauntered back over to the kitchen window.
I am a bit shocked by this why would he care about this?
I decide to leave the cafe and get back to my work. Mr. Pixis lets me leave on a Sunday morning because he knows I miss mother and he was also an old school friend of hers.
I finish my tea and leave I bring my biking helmet to the cafe so all I need to do is slip it on my head and leave. I love my motorcycle because I feel so free while on it, it is like nothing can stop me from doing anything.
When I get back to the shop I get my almost weekly customer sitting in the waiting room Jean he is extremely annoying but he always comes to me for tattoos a guess he knows I am the best.
When I wake up I have nothing to do so I sit up and quickley check the date. Sunday… Hmm doesn’t Eren go to the cafe on Sunday morning? I guess I’ll go see him.
I get in my car and set off I decide I won’t visit uncle Kenny today mainly because I don’t want to se him. Instead I’d rather stalk a stranger. When I get to the cafe I am greeted by one of the waitresses. I sit over at my table. My mind wonders to him.
I decide to ask the waitress another thing
“Why does he have so many tattoos?”
“Oh Eren? He works at a tattoo shop ‘titan tattoos and piercings’ I believe. Why do you ask?” The waitress says.
“No reason.“I say
I sit comfortably and look up titan tattoos and piercings on my phone it is not that far away I guess I will be making a visit there as well.
What tattoo should I get?
—– The next day (Monday)—–
I am stocking up the ink storage in the back thinking about what tattoos I will be making today.
I bet there will be three dumb names of partners and a stupid portrait of someone like Johnny Depp.
I also think about why tattoo I should get on me next. I hear the bell on the door jingle and I look up and see the man from the cafe ‘Levi Ackerman”. I was surprised by this.
I stand up straight and say
“Hello how can I help?”
I bet his car broke down or something like that.
“Hi I would like a tattoo please this is a walk in walk out place right?” I am taken back a bit. His voice is so monotone that and he really doesn’t look like a tattoo person.
“Yes it is. Have you got anything in mind sir?”
“Yes I do actually can I get a bouquet of red and yellow roses tattooed on my shoulder blade please.”
I was surprised to say the least about this request but oh well probably a silly coincidence.
“Of course sir please come with me.”
“Oh. Call me Levi please.”
He sat down on one of the padded dentist type chairs and I opened the ink containers that I would need.
I also re cleaned the tattoo machine .
“Would you like me to make a sketch first?”
I was surprised at his manners it was really cute. I got my sketchbook out and started sketching a picture of a bouquet slightly tilted to the side then I drew a few petals flying away from it. I showed Levi and he just nodded. I like to work with a bit of music on so I thought I would ask Levi. He said it was okay, so I put my CD in the old beaten up player and got to work.
“Wow” levi said out of the blue I was a little startled by this.
“What?” I said in a soft tone.
“I am surprised you have good music taste.”
I got on with the tattoo I could see that it was hurting him so I decided to help him take his mind off it.
“So what do you work as?”
“I own a bakery.”
I already knew that so I just nodded.
—-one hour later—-
I had just finished Levi’s tattoo and I was very pleased with my work.
I said “okay I am finished now”
I was pleased to have finished the tattoo there was a lot of tension and awkwardness between us while doing it.
“Okay come with me please”.
I wrapped up his shoulder with clean film and took him to the cash register.
“That will be £55 please”.
Levi handed me the money which I put in the register and I watched as he also dug into his wallet and brought out a £5 note and another white pice of paper and put it in a jar labelled ‘tips’. As he walked out I dug in to the tip jar and took it out the white paper I unfurled it and scrawled on it was
Call me - xxxx xxxx xxx (Levi’s number)
and that’s how my knew life began.
One with no more loneliness and vacantly talking to graves.
Today was just another day in the life of a college student. Surprisingly normal, I suppose. I got to my class a bit early this morning and enjoyed a rare moment of people watching. It still amazes me that people have no idea about us and what goes on around them. I overheard one girl talking to another about some silly problem she was having with her boyfriend and for a moment I was envious of her trivial problems. I also saw a guy walk in behind another girl and I could almost feel the longing for her and sensed he was too shy to talk to her and how much he wished he could muster up the nerve to just talk to…
She remembers another drive that seems like it was from several lifetimes ago. She remembers gripping the steering wheel hard, trying to hang on to something solid. (Her world had spun completely off it’s axis, she had needed to hold on to something to keep from spinning away with it.) She remembers trying to compact herself into her seat, to keep as much distance as she could between them. She remembers the shadows of unsaid apologies and unexpressed gratitude, of guilt, of jealousy, of shame. But this time, there are only sun drenched smiles and tender kisses. This time, she reaches over to touch him as much as she can. This time, she laughs. This time, she is happy.
He’s kissing the knuckles on her right hand one by one as the Storybrooke sign becomes visible in the distance. (Home)She’s trying to fight the dopey grin that’s threatening to grace her face, not to mention the giggles.
“Killian! I need to drive, come on! You can kiss me all you want when we get back.”
“Promise?”, his mouth curves into a smirk and all she wants to do at that moment is bite it. (The things he’s doing to her)
But, the smile falls abruptly off her face as she brings her eyes back to the road. Something’s wrong.
Eleven's Regeneration (& The Issues some people had)
I’ve heard some complaints about the Eleventh Doctor’s regeneration. Fans suggest that it was too quick and not a proper send off. Others say that it wasn’t as poingt as it should’ve been. That there was a better way of doing it. Or that it wasn’t hardly as sad and emotional as Nine’s or Ten’s.
I’m going to have to disagree. And here’s why:
(Posted under a Read More to avoid spoilers… So, SPOILERS ahead. You’ve been warned)