just a let down

I drive with silence.

It’s a lonely road, and one I never thought I’d travel. I never would have imagined this to be my path of life. It’s been an uphill struggle, with sharp bends and sudden dips—sometimes I lost sight of the top of that hill.

But it’s the hill I chose to climb, and now… here I am, at its peak, looking back into my past. My perspective has changed. Here I am, at its peak, and I’m not looking up anymore.

(Have I left you behind? I reach out, can you take my hand? But everyone is still climbing their hill—I’ve reached the top of mine.) Here I am.

Where do I go now? There’s no more path, no more road to travel, not like the one I had. Will I ever get that back, that path towards something?

Where do I go now?

I’m wandering. I’m lost.

Can you see me, from the top of this hill? Can you see who I am?

See who I am. I am what I love.

And I love you. I love what you do; I love who you are. Each and every one of you—a unique and individual human, climbing their own hill. So take my hand, and we’ll walk this next path together.

—thoughts and feelings from @markiplier’s “I Feel Lost

anonymous asked:

Akashi, Imayoshi, Hanamiya, Immortal!AU in which they realized that they fell in love with another immortal, who they spent the past century trying to kill.

Imayoshi: There was the sticky texture of blood on his fingers, soaking through his clothes and coating his abdomen. It wasn’t his though; that he was sure of. He could see the heavy flow of blood coming from your injuries, the ones he had inflicted upon you.

His step away from you was more than a little confusing. Was he trying to get you to let your guard down just so he could strike you in the last second? It would be a cruel tactic, but definitely like him.

But Imayoshi was tired. He was tired of fighting. He was tired of chasing you. He was tired of pretending it wasn’t fun having to come looking for you all these years. So he took a few more steps back, sly smile forming as you finally took the hint and ran in the opposite direction. He’d see you again soon anyway, and hopefully under better circumstances.

Akashi: Orders were orders, and Akashi’s was to get rid of any trace of you ever existing in this world or the next. He was the best for the job — and immortal chasing another immortal was a no brainer — and he was good at it too, never failing to accomplish whatever task was given to him. This one included.

Your broken body was slumped over in his arms, no sign of life left in you. He knew better than to believe you’d be gone so easily though, having come back from worse injuries himself in the past.

Hesitation paused his movements, making him wonder why he was suddenly feeling remorse for a target. Why now? Wanting to get this job over with, he made things quick and placed his hands around your head, snapping your neck to make sure you’d stay down for good. His job was done, but there was something in him saying he’d forever miss having you around.

Hanamiya: How many years had he waited for this moment? Had many decades had he fantasized about the exact hour he would steal your last breath? How many centuries had you been his number one priority; the first thing he would destroy when given the chance?

The answer was too many. Yet, now as Hanamiya has a knife pressed against your throat, beads of blood forming along the edge, he wonders why he can’t bring himself to simply kill you now.

A growl rips from his throat as he shoves off of you, stalking out of your sight before you could recover from the attack. His heart is beating fast and he doesn’t know why, but it’s so damn annoying and so damn painful. Hiding away his weapon, he decides maybe he could let you live a few more centuries. At least until he could make heads or tails of the different flips his heart was doing.

so, i have to be honest with you guys! tonight, i binged… for the first time in months, and i’m gutted! and i wanted to let you know because i can make recovery look all fluffy and lovely, and smiles and laughter! but sometimes it involves relapses and support from people around me… and tonight, i feel awful, but i know that tomorrow’s a whole a new day, a whole new day to keep beating my eating disorder! i hope i haven’t let anyone down, but this is just the reality, but it’s not going to stop me! love you all, have a lovely evening ❤️X

anonymous asked:

Can I ask why you "avoid hyped books like the plague?" Just curious :)

Haha of course!

In 9th grade The Hunger Games was THE book of the moment in my friend group. I read it. Really didn’t like it, and was put off from the rest of the series until I tried it again in college, which was when I liked it more. 

In 10th grade Looking for Alaska was SUPER popular at my school. Dare I say…overhyped. I decided to check it out, logically. I HATED IT. Oh my god I hated it so much (I need to try rereading it and see if I still hate it).

It sounds dumb, but those two books really screwed with my mental thought process on overhyped/hyped books. I just felt so let down by the books, their hype, and who liked them and I felt weirdly alienated because I didn’t like them (keep in mind this was all happening in high school when my self-esteem was already at an all-time low).

I guess now that I’m a bit older it’s different reading series that are hyped, but I’m still extremely cautious about them and that’s why my recommendation lists usually offer pretty obscure/lesser known books that are NOT overhyped because I simply haven’t read a lot of the really popular one’s. 


anonymous asked:

Have y'all seen some of the fanart?? Or the things she's tagged in? Or the things people comment on the replies? People blatantly push the boundaries & don't give a fuck if it hurts her or not. She sees the comments, she sees the pictures & it makes her uncomfortable so why can't people just leave it alone?

You know I ask the same question.
Why can’t people just not shove it down their throats and let them be? That’s why we can’t have nice things.
(Porqué las tienen que presionar con camren y no viven en el momento? Déjenlas ser por un carajo.)

pahndah  asked:

Your art is great and I admire you a lot! Don't let anons get you down. They're just abusive bullies at the end of the day. As long as your art's making you happy, that's the important thing! And yeah, art styles change/morph over time. It's part of growing <3

Thank you! I’m really happy that you understand! That’s exactly how it goes! Now I have no words left so back to my regularly scheduled parade of “thank you"s and "i love you"s

*secretly fangirling because you sent me a message aaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!*


Cadence: Everything else going okay for you guys? I know you said Dax has been having a rough time.

Sona: Yeah, his teacher said the other kids have been giving him a hard time at school… even at home, Jefferson doesn’t play with him like he used to. Ellie still does, bless her heart, she’s so sweet, but – I don’t know. I hate seeing him hurt like that, but I can’t control the other kids at school, you know?

Cadence: I’m sure things will get better–

Sona: Yeah – but when? We do what we can for him at home, but… [sigh] I just feel like I’m letting Adi down, like I’m not taking care of him the way she’d want…

anonymous asked:

do you think klance is going to be canon? we have a confirmation of 6 seasons they've definitely got time to make it cacnon

i’m pretty sure i’ve answered this numerous times but idk what to think if i’m being honest. i just don’t wanna hold my breath only to be disappointed in the end lol. for me it’s just become easier to not expect anything so that way when/if it doesn’t happen i’m not as disappointed, especially for sga and poly ships. but this also serves to help because if it does happen (i.e. korrasami) it feels so much better than you can imagine because it’s almost like you’re five and you got that toy you wanted more than anything on christmas morning. no matter how much i want klance, i’m just not entirely convinced it’ll happen and i prefer just indulging in art and theories and stuff but if i actually get hopeful i know i’m just gonna hype myself up only to be let down. maybe it’s just a personal problem that only applies to me because hell i don’t even think that some of my heavily coded m/w ships will happen. but if you want to believe it could be canon, by all means believe it. i’m not saying you should or shouldn’t. but i just prefer not to get any hopes up.

Beauty and the Beast Chapter Eight

Tags: @juniorhuntersam, @clea-nightingale, @annewski, @mery-magizoologist, @nanie5

Warnings: none

Word Count: 8619

Pairings: (eventual) Dean x Reader

~A Month Later, (Y/N)’s P.O.V~

   (Y/N) panted as her feet slapped against the muddy dirt road, creating a suctioning sound as she ran her ponytail swinging behind her with every stride she took. As she ran she couldn’t help but think about everything that had happened in the past month or so. Over the past month she had gotten used to life around the bunker to the point where she had found herself putting off the act of going home because a life where she wasn’t being bothered by Michael and Zachariah constantly had certainly become her new addiction that and something else. During the past month she had found that her and Dean had been getting closer to each other, or at least she thought they were anyways. She had beung to let her guard down just a little bit more, and she had even begun to let her guard down just a little bit more around herself and enjoying his presence even. And as much as she hated to admit it, let alone think about it, she was afraid that the more time she spent with Dean the more she see seemed to be falling for him, and the more she began to see Dean as more human rather than demon which was something she couldn’t afford to do just yet. But try as she might to get these feelings to go away the wouldn’t countless times she had found herself staring at Dean just a little longer than she should have, and sometimes she’d even find that she was subconsciously actively seeking out Dean’s company. She knew, even though she still refused to admit it even to herself, that she was slowly falling for Dean and she didn’t know what to do about it.

Keep reading