okay but gabe expressing his love for jack and it’s just so soft, it’s so affectionate and pure and he thinks jack is the most beautiful thing on this planet. it’s clear he just adores this man with all his heart and would go to hell and back for him, has been to hell and back. you know that every smile jack gives him is a blessing, that brightness in the golden boy’s eyes lights up his soul in a way no one else can.
and he says all of this with only a small touch and a loving smile
I've just read Kusuhara's short story. How do you think Fushimi would react after knowing that the Captain has another favourite?
I kinda find Fushimi’s reaction
there rather interesting, like I wonder if he felt secretly annoyed
by it. What it actually made me think of was Fushimi’s comment in DOB
9 about if he was Kusuhara’s replacement in the Special Forces,
Fushimi maybe thinking that Kusuhara was apparently Munakata’s real
favorite and Fushimi was just his second choice. I think for all
Fushimi finds the whole ‘Munakata’s favorite’ thing ridiculous (his
reaction to saying that to Kusuhara makes me think that Fushimi’s
heard it a lot in a more derogatory sense, like “look at ‘Captain’s
favorite’ getting to do whatever he wants again” as though Fushimi
only gets the freedom he does due to favoritism and not his own
competence) he also feels a bit proud of it, knowing that Munakata
lets him have so much freedom because Munakata’s pleased with his
work. Having someone else who is newer to the force than him being
Munakata’s new favorite and getting a lot of Munakata’s attention, I
wonder if Fushimi would find himself feeling a bit resentful like
here he allowed Munakata to lure him over from Homra and he’s already
been forgotten as soon as someone more promising comes along. I could
also see Fushimi taking this to mean he needs to work harder, like
especially before he actually meets Kusuhara he assumes that this new
person who’s caught Captain’s eye must be extremely talented and
Fushimi will have to just do even more work in order to match that
level of talent.
Then again, there’s something it’d like to talk about.
This time: How much I really really really REALLY love this love triangle.
1. You know, I kinda like AtsuKyou but more in a one-sided way ??? Like, I love the way Kyouka cared about Atsushi and tries to protected him all the time, it makes me think maybe she has a very deep crush on him. So now, isn’t it obvious she’s more perceptive than sushi bae? Well that’s right. SHE KNOWS LUCY ALSO DEVELOPED A DEEP INTEREST ON ATSUBAE (fine, let’s be clear, EVERYONE KNOWS THAT except Atsushi (?)). And I find it adorable that Kyouka interrupt their interactions ‘cause of jealousy. In my mind, she’s just a little cutie pie assasin girl who wants to protects her friends the boy she likes coff at all cost.
Then we have Lucy precious queen of my heart ♥ grumpier than usual because this little mouse (?) IS NOT LETTING HER TALK WITH THE MAN SHE LOVES IS GRATEFUL. Here I need to remark that part of Lucy’s personality reminds me A LOT of a tsundere character (tbh from the time I read the manga and her second “debut” inside Moby Dick, I thought: “yisus craist why is this ginger so cUTE AND TSUNDERE”. My apologizes, I’m so in love with tsundere girls and I saw a patron there that convinced me).
2. Confidence problems and more tsundere reactions from Lucy. Even though Kyouka doesn’t trust Lucy, I’m sure SushiBabe does. If we check all the previous pages, we can noticed how much he really cared about his own promise and felt so sad by thinking he didn’t fullfil it at that time and maybe something bad happened to Lucy. But again, Kyouka is just trying to protect him from the woman who almost locked him in Anne’s Room forever ?????
But here between us, we know Lucy is a new soul and tries so hard to proved Atsushi she changed or at least that she wasn’t thaaaaaat bad from the very begining. AND AS I SAID, I’m pretty sure Atsushi already knows that and kind of trust in Lucy, but she is so tsundere hasn’t noticed yet (C’mon baby, THIS IS ALSO OBVIOUS. You’ve gained a little piece of Sushi’s heart with your cuteness and effort, stop worrying (?)).
3. Did I smell jealousy again? Yes, I did. And just letting this panel here because it made me LAUGH OUT LOUD.
Nothing to say about it that you and I haven’t think. Kyouka please, stop the bullying and let Lucy be happy for a while (But you’re a cutie potato also so I can’t even be mad at you for one second) (???).
FINALLY, the point of this long post was to tell you that:
I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEART THE FACT THAT BOTH GIRLS HAVE A CRUSH ON MY PRECIOUS AND PERFECT ATSUSHI AND HE HASN’T NOTICED THEM IN A ROMANTIC WAY.
Have I mentioned how much I love Voltaire lately. Like.. HOly shit. Did I ever talk about meeting him in person? We walked by him while he was having a smoke and talking to some people outside the club and my HEART STOPPED FOR TEN SECONDS. AND HE SAID GOOD EVENING TO US.
And then IN THE CLUB, I was so nervous and anxious and just waiting for him to come in for a chance to say hello and I blew it by panicking and not saying hello. Then I lost him in the lights and I felt like I was being stalked by a raptor - like, what if he bumped into me? What if he surprised me from behind and struck up a conversation like, ‘so, are you excited about the show tonight’ or something like that. But no, he was hanging out at the merch booth and being chill. And I was freaking out like holy shit I never thought I’d ever meet him and I had been listening to him since middle school.
So, my fellow introvert friend, who had never been to this club before, was like 'you should go talk to him! it’ll be okay!’ and I was like, 'okay, I’ll do it’ and she cheered me on from the sidelines while she caught pokemon and I went up to talk to him but the words kinda got stuck in my throat like it was full of peanut butter. So I decided to get a look at merch and prices so I could buy stuff and, damn, in hindsight I wish I thought of bringing cash. Because later, nearly all of those albums would be out of stock.
Anyway, I was hanging around at the table and decided to stand off to the side so that more extroverted people could talk to him and eventually it was just me and him for a few moments and he looks at me and says, “You know, you’re too polite. I feel like you want something but you’re too polite to say it” and we kinda chatted but I was really nervous and he was really kind and I told him it was my first Voltaire concert and he was like, “Oh, a Voltaire virgin!’ and he was really excited about this and said, "it’s okay, I’ll be gentle but we have to pop that Voltaire cherry’ and AGAINST ALL JUDGEMENT I said, "you can be as rough as you want to be, please.” and I don’t think he heard me but that doesn’t matter because I was really between panicking and being as giddy as a bat at a full moon at this point.
Like, he’s a funny kind of raunchy and it was a nice way to break the ice, it definitely helped me feel not so nervous and it didn’t help that I was absolutely flustered whenever he winked at me. SO ANYWAY. We kinda talked on and off before the show and he thanked me for coming by and that it meant a lot to him and we hugged, had a selfie, and he asked if he could kiss my cheeks and I said YES because how could I possibly say no and that was great. I was lovestruck and really could not shake that warm feeling off for the rest of the night. Like, it was like that European 'nice to see you, hello’ kind of cheek kiss. Not really any contact at all but I was fanboying so fucking hard at this point that the tiny details didn’t matter and I’m still grinning over it.
So, after the show (which was also great), I found out that the card reader that he said he might have after the show actually had no internet connection in the club. I went on a 'I’ve never been out by myself in the middle of DC, I have no idea where I am’ adventure across two streets to find an ATM. I came back and most of the albums I wanted were gone but I managed to get Hate Lives In A Small Town, Down To The Bottom Of The Sea, and Zombie Prostitute.
This was when things were dying down, people were starting to leave kind of since some folks seemed to come only for Voltaire and this cute goth girl who I didn’t really get a chance to talk to (we were both extroverts and fans of Voltaire and early gothic music though) and I didn’t get to ask where she came from or if she’d want to exchange facebooks and talk about music sometime. But I got her name and I know her face, I’ll know her if I see her there again - which I hope to do someday.
I also got a signed poster! And that was great. It was a Raised By Bats poster, which is the album I really wanted but didn’t get a chance to grab because poor planning. So, I danced some more. A lot of couples were dancing and I started missing my boyfriend. And Voltaire was on the dance floor, too! Which is weird because I guess I could -say- I danced with Voltaire but, more accurately, I danced -near- Voltaire because goths tend to just dance by themselves in close vicinity of each other according to my older goth friends. So, I danced in near vicinity of Voltaire for a while and the club was closing and everyone was getting ready to go for the night.
And that’s when I told Voltaire that this was also my first concert ever, which was absolutely true, and he looked surprised and was really flattered, thanked me for coming again and for picking his performance as my first concert and I just wanted to just thank him for existing and inspiring me but the words weren’t exactly coming out so I just thanked him for coming out and I kinda chatted with him some more as things were wrapping up and mentioned I was a writer and he was really supportive and that’s reignited my fire to write again - which I’ve been working on my book about cosmic horrors again and that’s been great.
So, that was my night with Voltaire. It was a fun night! I kinda wish I had a few drinks so that I wasn’t so nervous but I think for meeting my first celebrity, even though he is not super famous, it wasn’t a bad night.
I found out afterwards that he comes to the same club after / during every tour he does. So, I’ll get a chance to see him AGAIN. Even if chances are slim, if he recognized me somehow I’d probably just die on the spot from fanboying too hard. And my older goth friend, the day after when I actually did got drunk and started messaging her because who knows why, encouraged me to write a manuscript and GIVE IT to Voltaire and the thought kinda baffles me. Like, what if he liked it and wanted to read more? What if he became a fan of my work? It’s weird to think that there would be a possibility that someone I look up to would also like my writing and it’s exciting, 'cause I want to see if it would happen, and scary because he’s someone I look up to so much and the thought of him saying 'this is great’ is terrifying in the best way possible.
She also mentioned she has friends who go to this same club (Which I go with my friends on most Saturdays, when I don’t have work) who work for a publishing company and she wants me to bring along a manuscript next time I go to the club. And it’s just really exciting. I’ve had a really exciting two weeks just thinking about ALL OF THIS and I really need to work on my elevator pitch because, holy shit, I get nervous really quick when I try to imagine myself pitching the story to these friends of my friend. I mean, I’ve probably seen them before but I’m REALLY bad at names. So, maybe it won’t be so bad.
I love talking about my day and hearing about how other’s went. Hearing you talk to me makes me so happy. I actually see AmeriPan being like this most of the time. Alfred talks A LOT and Kiku loves to hear him talk. <3 But that’s just my HC. I will go down with this ship, btw. I’m sort of testing out NCHL2 a bit more now that I found a proper tutorial.
Credits: Japan & America: Orca Food and Background: 3DCG
lol i just realized i never said anything about the mtrench show on here. it was great!! the venue is pretty small and i like ones like that, the shows are more intimate that way. this dj threw down the sickest 80s mashup i’ve ever heard.
skylar stecker is so so beautiful + the girl can Sang. then mtrench went on and that thing happened where you can feel the music in your chest, y’know? it was just as cool as the first time. i was just as emotional. no surprise there. matt legit wouldn’t stop looking at me tho… the guy would not let me cry in peace. josh can’t pronounce “ponte vedra” for the life of him. and the setlist was missing three (3) songs that they play literally everywhere else so idk what that was about lmao but other than that, the show was fun!! m’boys looked good!! they never fail to put on a good show*!! i love them so much!!!
Look my guys, I know you didn’t follow me for bandom, but can we talk about how radiant Zack Merrick is? That boy can heat the earth with his warm, welcoming smile and just general attitude. Fuck the sun, we have Zack Merrick to keep us warm.