jus thought i would share this

Oh man, where do I begin?

A year ago, I officially began my presence in the Fire Emblem Fates RP community — and here I am, still here, a year later! Only those who have been around for longer than I have remember my old URL KIRAQI — but upon further deepening of Kiragi’s character, was changed to the one I have present day. It’s only been my second experience with a community on Tumblr, my first being in the Osomatsu-san fandom — and I had ditched one of my blogs in said community in favor of Kiragi.

I guess I should start with what I’m thankful for in this introduction. Honestly, there’s a LOT to be thankful for — this community’s kindness, it’s welcome, and the zeal it had ever since I joined to improve many different aspects of myself in the creative aspect. This includes my graphics, writing, musical ability — it’s endless. I joined this community with absolutely no idea how it’d work out — honestly, I thought it would be a lot like the Osomatsu-san community, where the majority of people DREW ANSWERS to asks. I was surprised to find out that the majority of the fandom used their creative writing skills for the most part. I was young — er, younger — when I made the blog, so I had no knowledge of what I was doing, other than the fact that I was here to have fun — I think that’s the most important part to when I joined. As began to roleplay more and more, new glasses were placed upon my face, and I started seeing — well, EVERYTHING differently. 

Before this gets too long, I’d like to just say thank you — to YOU. Because it’s likely that if you’re seeing this from my blog, you’re following me — you’re one of those THOUSAND followers that I have accumulated over the past year. Roleplaying is not my priority, as writing in a whole is just a hobby for me, and I always do things in the order and balance that I want — perhaps that’s selfish of me, but this community has allowed me to realize MANY things. Everyone I met was so unique and amazing, and even though I’ve only managed to fully befriend only a fraction of my followers, I cannot wait to see what’s in store for me in the future!

And — oh yes. You didn’t forget, right? Because I didn’t — I told you that I’d make a CELEBRATORY VIDEO. Now, let’s begin this long-ass bias list. | art credit !

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Hello 😊 My name is Cree. I’m 20 years old (though tbh when people ask I always say 19) and live in Stratford (small town nearish Toronto, home to Justin Bieber and some really bomb theatre). This Saturday I am seeing Taylor in Toronto! Thanks to some amazingly generous people in my life, I jus found out yesterday that I also get to see her Friday!

I know everybody here loves Taylor (how is it humanly possible not to love her) and everyone has such beautiful stories about how she’s touched their lives in some way. I thought I would share mine, as I think it’s so inspiring when I read your stories; it reminds me I’m not alone and it reminds me that everyone is going through hard stuff, so it’s so important to be kind.

ANYWAY: I first heard of Taylor when I was 11 years old and driving with my mum. Tim McGraw came on the radio, and I remember loving her voice and the story she told with it. I had no idea, in that moment, the kind of impact Taylor would have on me over the next 9 years. I remember being so amazed that an artist whom I had never spoken to, could speak so personally to me. It was like she had read pages of my diary and was writing songs about how I felt. I had never felt so connected to a singer’s music before, and the fact that Taylor radiates kindness and warmth made me feel so connected to her as a person as well.

Over the next few years, I loved Taylor immensely and was so thankful to have her in my life, but it wasn’t until high school that I realized just how lucky I was; I’ve always been different, always been aware I was different in some way, but could never place my finger on what this difference was. The year I started grade nine, I began to be aware that this difference resided in the fact that while all my friends had crushes on boys, the only people I’d ever had feelings for were girls. This realization, which was devastating and terrifying to me, came at a time when I had a falling out with one of my best friends. This, coupled with trying to suppress the fact that I was a lesbian and the pressures of beginning high school, led me to a pretty dark place. I don’t like to go into detail about that time in my life, but I was horribly unhappy and felt incredibly isolated. I battled with a lot of self hatred and internalized shame that manifested itself in me being very unkind to myself, mentally and physically.

Throughout all of this, the one person I could always count on was Taylor. This might sound melodramatic, but I know most people will understand this. Her music, the things she sung about, her positivity and optimism and compassion made me feel as though I was never alone. I kept a diary during that time and used to write letters to Taylor; I would tell her about my day, tell her things I didn’t feel like I could tell anyone else. I knew that she would never read them, but just having an outlet for those things helped me so much.

I am 20 now. I came out to my friends and family over the course of this past year. They have been amazingly supportive and wonderful. I am still dealing with the aftermath of a lot of the stuff I talked about earlier, but the sense of freedom and liberation I feel is unlike anything I could have imagined. Taylor has helped me to achieve this point in my life. She has made me have a kinder, more open heart. She taught me it is okay to be different, as long as you’re being yourself. She taught me to never settle for less than I deserve, she taught me the importance of humility and hard work.

I am not sure where I would be without Taylor, but I do know that my life, and the world in general, is a much better place for having her exist in it. Your song Clean has been my motto for the past (almost) year. Anytime I feel like I could slip back into a bad place, I play it on repeat until I feel better. I cannot wait to hear you sing it, though I feel bad for anyone who is around me cause you know I’ll be hysterical the entire time.

You have helped me in more ways than I know how to say, and for this I am grateful in more ways than I can voice. I love you Taylor & can’t wait to see you this weekend! (((I HAVE BEEN WAITING SO LONG TO SAY THAT!!!!!)