jurio

otapliroy headcannons

•jj, the cuddle monster

•yuri pretends to gag when he sees his boyfriends being all cuddly and fluffy and shit. “c'mre, chaton. we know you want to” “cuddles don’t make you less of a badass” “well since yOU INSIST”

•both yuri and beka love wearing jj’s jackets and sweaters

•yuri insists on buying matching shirts… with tiger prints

•beka is an amazing cook, yuri can somehow cook and jj… he can boil water

•yuri and jj secretly call beka “mama bear” behind his back

•demisexual beka and both yuri and jj are very understanding when beka doesn’t feel like doing the frick frack

•they’re on good terms with isabella. in fact, every month, yuri, beka and isabella gather to talk shit about jj

You’ve heard of Hades and Persephone, now get ready for

JJ and Yuri.

or Yuri and JJ. 

No, really. 

  • Jean-Jacques is the God of the Underworld, who finds himself the unluckiest one between his two bros—Michele, God of Thunder and Lightning, and Emil, God of the Sea—as he inherited the dank world of the dead instead of the shining kingdom of Mount Olympus or even the sparkling kingdom of the oceans. He’s torn between complaining (“C’mon, Mickey, just one day!” “No.” “You don’t even enjoy being the king!” “YEAH BECAUSE YOUR WILY SISTER SARA IS FLIRTING LEFT AND RIGHT WITH EVERYTHING THAT MOVES” “You’re exaggerating and you know it.”) and enjoying it (“You know what? To hell with them. I’VE got the biggest kingdom AND I’m the richest!” “That’s the spirit, JJ!” “And I don’t have to listen to Mickey rant about Sara in my palace!” “… Yeah, I’ll admit, I’m kinda jealous, JJ.”).
  • Yuri is the unlucky grandson of Nikolai, God of the Corn—unlucky in the sense that he doesn’t exactly want to be a harvest deity. He dreams of being a badass god of something, but unfortunately, growing crops isn’t exactly intimidating unless you make them as tall as trees and Grandpa doesn’t approve of that. (“But why not? It’d be cool!” “Yurochka, we’re not feeding giant-sized mortals.” “We could feed the giants themselves…” “They can feed themselves just fine. Now keep plowing.”) He wants to be taken seriously as a deity, but with his flower-blooming powers and uncanny ability to attract cute wildlife, he fears he’ll forever be known as that one pretty god. (“I AM NOT A GIRL YOU ASS”)
  • When the mischievous God of Love, Viktor, decides to shoot an arrow into JJ’s heart and make him spontaneously kidnap Yuri (“VIKTOR YOU PRICK I’LL KILL YOU JJ YOU IDIOT LET GO OF MY LEG”), all of the pantheon breaks loose. (“… You know, I think, for once, Viktor’s idea was great.” “I agree.” “Good luck, Yurio!”)
  • Sort of.
  • Soon, the temporary love spell is broken and JJ is more than willing to return Yuri to his worried grandfather after all the trouble he’s caused, but unfortunately, Yuri’s decided he isn’t leaving until he gets a better power from the God of the Underworld himself. (“Let’s switch places! You probably suck as the Lord of the Dead anyway!” “… I’ll have you know I take full offense to that.”)

Alternatively,

  • Yuri is the cranky God of the Underworld, little brother to Viktor the airheaded God-King of Mt. Mappa, Georgi the hopeless-romantic God of the Sea, and Mila the mischievous Goddess of the Hunt. Despite living away from the other gods, Viktor keeps hounding him about his crush on one of his cute temple priests, a mortal named Yuuri. (“VIKTOR I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR STUPID—OI GIVE ME BACK MY GUARD CAT YOU LIL—” “I saw you eyeing MY Yuuri!” “I DON’T FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOUR MORTAL JUST LEAVE) Between his family and all the other annoying deities, Yuri never gets a break—which is why he never goes out of his realm. (“Otabek, cancel all my appointments in the upper world.” “Are you sure? Your brother is expecting—” “Exactly why I’m staying in.”)
  • JJ is the God of Harvest, who considers himself the king of all mortals. (“You may be the king of gods, Viktor, but I rule the earth!” “… Well, he has a point.”) He’s not too popular with the other gods the way he wants to be, but with nice and loving mortal fans and his best friend Isabella the Goddess of Flowers—whom he’s thinking about trying to date nowadays just to change things up—life’s not too bad. Until he gets accidentally kidnapped by the grumpy Lord of the Dead, that is.
  • In Yuri’s defense, the last thing he’d ever want to do in the mortal realm was to steal some half-naked asshole off the face of the earth. But due to a conniving bastard god by the name of Viktor, a fleeing JJ accidentally catches a ride with Yuri in his awesome chariot just as he’s about to descend back into his realm. Yuri’s all for kicking him out his kingdom… and surprisingly enough, the harvest god actually leaves him be…?
  • Only for the asshole to come back down the next day to pester him—because he’s bored.
  • Let’s just say the earth’s seasons are gonna be very wacky for a while.

TL;DR: This is my Hades and Persephone AU for Pliroy - an AU loosely based on the Greek Pantheon and features the most rom-com-y couple next to Viktuuri to ever rom-com, so someone should really get me away from this AU before I horrify you all with crack fics.  

Anon wanted more Pliroy with Victuuri parents and who am I to deny this beautiful AU to them
Or, I was inspired by an ask to make this post, I gotchu covered anon
  • OK SO, all the other skaters know that if u wanna ask Yurio out you gotta ask The Parents (aka Victor and Yuuri) first and they’ll deem u WORTHY (or not) of dating their son
  • They think Victor is the most chill about Yurio dating but OH THEYRE WRONG
  • “Don’t date other skaters, they’ll shatter your heart in an instant.” “VIKTOR DON’T SCARE HIM. Just. Choose wisely ok Yurio? We don’t want you getting hurt!”
  • Yurio: I hate both of you and I hope you know that
  • most of the time Yurio isn’t even in on it, he’s just v clueless about people wanting to ask him out (like, he’s aware of his good looks, but dating doesn’t cross his mind much since he’s more focused on skating)
  • So when Best Bros JJ and Chris (ya that’s gonna be my hc until the anime disproves it) are talking and JJ goes “Man I’m gonna ask Plisetsky out tonight, he’s a real beauty.” “Oh, don’t you know??” 
  • Even after Chris tells him, JJ goes in anyway bc no king was gonna get intimidated by Mista living legend and his somehow-not-husband-yet
  • Yurio is taken aback for a moment because he’s like “wait,,, they actually let you?? huh…”
  • Im a fan of the hc that Yurio doesn’t yet have feelings for JJ so he doesn’t accept right away
  • But you know what they say about characters who don’t have feelings for each other
  • THEYRE JUST ONE FAKE DATING AU AWAY FROM NEVER LETTING EACH OTHER GO
  • what do you mean no one says that
  • what’s in it for JJ though? He won’t deny he was looking for a pretty face to show off when first approaching Yurio but he’s liking this plan of his ok
  • “wait, you wouldn’t accept so easily, whats gotten into you?” “what, now I can’t help a fellow skater out? I’m wounded–”
  • “Okay, how bout this Kitty, I play into your pretend dating game, and you help me out” “I KNEW IT, what is it you sick fuck want–” “You come help with the charity work when Skating season is over” 
  • “wait what”
  • “Yeah, we’re in need of volunteers.” “…no ulterior motive?” “I’m a man of my word”
  • Cue Yurio and JJ start “dating” so he can prove to his not-parents that he’s got this
  • spoilers: he dont got this
  • VICTOR AND YUURI ARE FREAKING OUT
  • “Out of EVERYONE who’s tried to date you, he’S THE WORST OF ALL”
  • Yurio plays into it like “But he does charity work! (:”
  • “…I can do charity work….” Victor mumbles under his breath
  • BONUS: Phichit is the Cool Uncle who is helping Yurio get laid and covers for him with Victor and Yuuri

Me: I’m shipping Pliroy and-

Fandom: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Me: ???

Fandom: YURIO IS A MINOR, HE’S JUST A 15 YEARS CHILD, YOU’LL REALLY SHIPP HIM WITH A ADULT? YOU’RE CRAZY? YOU PROBABLY SUPPORTS PEDOPHILIA!!! IT’S DISGUSTING YOUR PEDOPHILE

*Otabek’s exist*

Fandom: Okay, but listen-

  • Y'all : Otabek x Yurio/ JJ x Yurio is abusive! Their age gap is too big! It's pedophilia! You are supporting pedophilia if you ship them!
  • Me: *remembers my first boyfriend when I was 15, who was 19 y/o, and knew me for 3 years and never made a move on me, and waited for 3 weeks before I was ready for our first kiss, and treated me like a princess, never forced me on anything, never forced me into sex, accepted it when I wanted to break up and was more respect full of me than anyboy my age*
  • Me: Y'all need to fucking chill