junk styles

The party in this story are a group of low-level wizards (and only low-level wizards) who were tasked with completing their “last chance exams” at Wizard Academy™ for a chance to graduate with the rest of their cohort. It was a one-shot dungeon crawler style of game where we rotated the DM for every room. Given our level and abilities, rooms featured such challenges as battalions of house-cats, CR-reduced mimics and baby bugbears that still frequently required us to take long rests as the DMs swapped. After much trial and error (and only a few near deaths) we made it to the final test: a battle against a junk golem-style monstrosity that had access to wild magic.

Of particular importance: the current DM was an English/History teacher while Players One and Two both studied higher mathematics at university, and after an earlier incident the only serious rule we were following was “no retcons”.

DM:

 *rolls particularly well* With a great tear, a portal opens to the Elemental Plane of Cats! Ten housecats immediately appear in the arena, and more housecats begin pouring through the rip in reality at an exponential rate - 


P1:

Wait, exponential?


DM:

Yes, that’s what I said.


P1:

That’s… that’s a lot of cats, dude.


DM:

 Nah, it’s not that many.


P2:

No, she’s right, that’s a 

lot

of cats. *does the math* Yeah, see, if we started out with ten housecats, and assume that the exponential growth is per round per cat, you’ve got a hundred housecats at the end of next round, and over a thousand after that - 


DM, starting to realise his mistake:

Look, all right, I misspoke, we’ll retcon that - 


P1:

Hell no, you wouldn’t let me retcon licking the mimic earlier; exponential house-cats!


Other players:

Exponential house-cats!


DM:

 I don’t have enough minis for this…



Long story short, the house-cats killed the golem and almost killed us until someone Prestidigitation’d catnip back through the tear in reality.



“Exponential” is now a byword in our group for “poorly phrased description that will backfire horribly” and that DM has never used it to describe anything since.

Super Bowl Style for Him & Her

Show your pride in your favorite team’s accessories and apparel 

We’re less than a week away from the much anticipated Superbowl Sunday. As the most watched annual television program in the United States, NFL fans get to see who will take home the trophy, the Seattle Seahawks or the New England Patriots, as well as watch the best TV commercials of the year, enjoy a halftime performance by Katy Perry, eat endless snacks, drink beer, and party with close friends and family. Whether you’re a football fan or just feel like showing your Super Bowl pride, dressing the part is a must. Show your spirit in Seahawks or Patriots clothing and accessories for men and women below from Nike, Junk Food, ‘47 Brand and more!

Seahawks Fans: Men

Nike Super Bowl Fly Rush (NFL Seahawks)

'We Are 12 - Seattle Seahawks’ Graphic T-Shirt

Junk Food Men’s Long-Sleeve Seattle Seahawks Huddle Henley Shirt

New Era Seattle Seahawks Woodland Camo Team Color 9FIFTY Snapback Cap

Game Time Men’s Seattle Seahawks Elite Series Watch

'Seattle Seahawks - Scrum’ Slub Cotton T-Shirt

'Seattle Seahawks - Tiger Stripe’ Hat

NFL Seattle Seahawks Game Jersey (Richard Sherman)

Search for more Seahawks men’s clothing and accessories here

Seahawks Fans: Women

Nike Super Bowl Logo Trophy (NFL Seahawks)

Nike NFC Champions “Finest” Tri-Blend (NFL Seahawks)

5th & Ocean Women’s Seattle Seahawks Tri-Natural T-Shirt

'47 Brand Women’s Seattle Seahawks Luster Clean Up Cap

Nike Women’s Short-Sleeve Seattle Seahawks T-Shirt

NFL Super Bowl Seattle Seahawks Game Jersey (Richard Sherman)

Nike Women’s Short-Sleeve Seattle Seahawks Fan T-Shirt

Nike NFC Championship Trophy Tri-Blend (NFL Seahawks)

Search for more Seahawks women’s clothing and accessories here

Patriots Fans: Men

Nike Super Bowl Tech Windrunner (NFL Patriots)

Nike Men’s Short-Sleeve New England Patriots Fast Logo T-Shirt

Forever Collectibles New England Patriots Christmas Sweater Scarf

'New England Patriots - Clean Up’ Cap

New Era NFL New England Patriots Crew Sweatshirt

Nike Sphere Hybrid (NFL Patriots)

New Era New England Patriots On-Field Graphite 39THIRTY Cap

NFL New England Patriots Elite Jersey (Tom Brady)

Search for more Patriots men’s clothing and accessories here.

Patriots Fans: Women 

Nike Women’s New England Patriots Fan T-Shirt

5th & Ocean Women’s New England Patriots Foil Football Hoodie

'47 Brand Women’s New England Patriots Off-Campus T-Shirt

5th & Ocean Women’s New England Patriots Tri-Natural T-Shirt

'47 Brand Women’s New England Patriots Luster Clean Up Cap

Little Earth Women’s New England Patriots Pashi Fan Scarf

Nike Super Bowl Logo (NFL Patriots)

Nike AFC Champions “Finest” Tri-Blend (NFL Patriots)

Search for more Patriots women’s clothing and accessories here.