Oh, thank God…Five young conjurers are trying to communicate with me. Now I can finally reveal the identity of my killer!
Is there a spirit present?
Girls, listen to me. My name is Craig Swieskowski. I was murdered by a man named Bruce Kobza.
Does Trevor like Janet?
What? How should I know? listen, Bruce Kobza poisoned me to death! There’s a video recording of the murder in a locked briefcase in his apartment. You need to break into his bedroom, unlock the briefcase and show the tape to the police!
Okay…that’s…that’s fine. I’m glad we got that out of our system. But now it’s time to get serious. We might not have another chance to talk like this. I need you girls to go to Mt. Sinai Cemetery and dig up my body. Do an autopsy. You’ll find–
Who likes Sophie?
Jesus, it’s like you’re not even listening to me! (sighing) Okay…fine, I’ll try to use the damn board B…
R! Hey, he’s spelling out Brian Pasternak! Brian Pasternak likes Sophie!
Spirit? Are we pretty? Or…do we need to lose a little bit of weight?
You don’t need to lose any weight…You should all be thankful you’re alive and healthy.
L-O-S-E W-E-I-G-H-T. Guess we’ll have to keep dieting, huh?
What? That’s not what I said at all! (Sigh.) It doesn’t matter.
this guy in my class was talking about how “apple makes sure that their older phones don’t work after a while so people are forced to buy new ones from them, galaxy is way better lol” and this other guy was like “dude, i’d buy a new iphone every 2 months for the rest of my life if it meant that i would never have to touch an android phone” and i was like same!! and also Me!!
Can you tell the story about how you got sent to counseling for your URL pls
I’d love too! Well it was the summer of 2012 and obamasbigblackdick.tumblr.com was running very smoothly and I was actually about to hit 1000 followers(which was a big deal for me at the time) I’m not sure how my sister found out but evidently she did, because after we got into an argument she yelled “MOM LAURA HAS A BLOG CALLED OBAMASBIGBLACKDICK” and in my 15 years of living never has my mother looked at me with such disgust. I didn’t bother denying it because my sister could have just shown them the blog, so i just accepted the consequences that were about to come my way. The really great stuff happened when my dad found out. He was 100% convinced that the government was going to find our family and kill us or send us to some remote island so he started saying how i “ruined the lives of everyone in the family” and demanded that i deleted it (which obviously didn’t happen) my mother cried at least twice and blamed herself as a parent. I had been dealing with depression which, as you probably know, causes people to act in a way that isn’t really pleasant so my mom was completely convinced they were connected so the next week at my first session my therapist asked me (and i’ll never forget it) if i had “a sexual desire for men with power” and i started laughing which answered the question for her and we moved on.THE END
An entire family was almost torn apart over one silly URL, but their anger might have to do with the fact that they voted for mitt romney