Holster Has Made Out With Everyone 5) Junior Year: Bitty
Epikegsters, man. They’re fucked up. Like, wake up in the wrong bed wearing someone else’s underwear, possibly in the wrong time zone kind of fucked up. Every single (epic) time.
Holster has a good night at first — he and Ransom spend the evening wheeling volleyball girls (and accidentally, Chowder) with ghost stories and hockey trivia, and then there’s the whole epic Kent Parson appearance, and the tub juice is extra dire. Lardo is magnificent, ruling the party in every possible way. Even Jack is more in the party spirit than usual, hanging out all casual with Bitty - thank fuck those two are friends now, it was no fun when they were feuding or whatever.
But later on, the vibe shifts. March and April head home early with Farmer because they all have practice the next morning, Kent Parson stalks out of the Haus looking like someone threw up on his Mercedes (not out of the realms of possibility) and somehow Holster ends up sober enough that Shitty sticks him with frog duty.
By the time he wanders back back from escorting Nursey, Dex and Chowder back safely to their dorms, the party has dropped to a dull roar, and Ransom has left a jock strap on the door as the universal sign of getting some.
At least he tossed Holster’s pillow and blanket outside the door first, so it’s not a complete kick in the balls.
This is great! They’ve been on hiatus and only a few members had solo comebacks but they still ranked #5 in the Top 10 (without promos, etc). Congrats! Can’t wait for their comeback in the second half of 2017!
“I haven’t been alive much longer than you have, but in that time I’ve traveled through the multiverse, met and interacted with countless beings, many of them beyond your comprehension, and in all that time, I only made one friend.” “Who?” Icheb asked, curious. “You, you idiot.” Q smirked. - Star Trek: Voyager: The Eternal Tide