The Time I Pushed a Jerkface off a 35ft Cliff(With Good Reason)
Before we start off let me be clear. I did not murder a man by randomly shoving him off a cliff. Technically, I actually had permission, but still not murder. Chill.
Here we go.
So this is back in Mexico, at the same park as the Sting Ray Incident, just an hour later. Id already recovered from my near death experience and moved on from my friend nearly drowning me. I faced it, i survived, im good and not concerned.
One of the many attractions at this park was the Cliff of Courage. It’s a 35ft cliff that plunges into the water. Now, by my standards, 35ft is low for a cliff jump. Ive done way higher (adrenaline junkie) but obviously i was gonna jump just to say that I did. My parents, grandparents, and Jamie didnt want to jump. No surprise, so they went ahead to meet me on the other side of the river.
So sixteen year old me wanders over and there’s this big group of burly looking men.
They’re all standing at the edge jostling each other around. And just by looking at them you can see they’re american. I dont even need to hear their texan accents to know.
So they’re pulling the whole macho act of “you jump i jump” “ohhh but then you wont jump” bs and just generally being chickens and not willing to show it.
And because of this they wont let anyone else jump. Like ten people came and left because these jerks wouldnt let anyone else go.
Eventually i get annoyed and snap “either jump or get out of my way!”
And the dude who is obviously the leader just turns and grins at me.
He assumed what i call the “douchebag alpha male pose” hands on hips, crotch foreward, you know the one, and you know the body language that goes with it.
He thinks he’s superior. Now this guy is the biggest of them all.
Massive biceps, raging six pack, the works. The Hulk would probaby do a double take at this dudes size.
And little me is not intimidated in the least.
I learned to fight at a very young age, especially men larger than me. I know if things turns south i can take him no problem. A few hits here and there and he’s out for the count.
He starts walking towards me, and i step forward too. He may be alpha male, but he just crossed an Alpha Female who doesnt back down from a challenge.
He looks over at his pals and says,
“Ohhhh, the little lady’s going to jump, is she?” And he just sneers down at me, all arrogance and misplaced confidence.
“Tell you what, sweetheart.” Ohhh he did not just say that. “You jump, we’ll let you push us.”
Three strikes he’s out he just made the biggest mistake of his life.
I just grin and go “ok” and turn and immediately dive over the edge. Im soaring through the air, enjoying the fall. I turn just in time to see his face go from 😏 to 😧
I smack down into the water grinning. Originally the plan was the swim across the river and meet up with my family, but i am cashing in this bet. Except there’s only one way to get back up to that cliff from here
I scale the side of the cliff with the rope and I can hear them chatting nervously up top
I pop up over the edge and prop myself up on the ledge with the sweetest, most steel-lined smile I can manage and say, “who’s next?”
So Alpha laughs and stands at the edge as I haul myself up. He’s laughing and assuring his buddies he’ll be back in a second cause I wont really do it and–
I straight arm him and he goes flying
He flails and plunges over the edge, shrieking in the most high pitched, terrified shriek Ive ever heard a dude bro make. He sputters to the surface and gapes up at me as I grin like a hellion down at him. I turn to the rest of his jerk buddies and smile.
<b>Super Junior:</b> old school legends, no one can compare. Loyal af fans, still stan them after Hyukjae's bad eyebrow era and all the scandals. Kings of hosting shows. Literally it's just Heechul holding down the fort and exposing everyone he can while everybody else gets their military service done. #justiceforSungmin #makeSiwonCEOofSM<p/><b>Big Bang:</b> kpop kings, basically carved the way for third generations. Were hella problematic sometimes but tbh who hasn't. G-Dragon could literally sing about crayons and make a music video with TOP while they pee on each other and still top the charts....oh wait, he did. Daesung out here setting the beauty standards for everyone in s. Korea. #getTaeyangashirt #makeSeungriCEOofYG<p/><b>SHINee:</b> kpop princes, but everyone and their mom knows they're kings. It's just 4 proud moms taking care of their sonshine, Lee Taemin. They don't attend variety shows, variety shows attend them. Out here roasting everybody including themselves, and every producer is scared to have them guest tbh. Vocals out of this world, get ready to be blessed. #shineeorpinee #whereisJonghyun'skazoo<p/><b>Infinite:</b> invented synchronized choreography. Hella supportive of each other and will probably jump off a cliff if Woohyun suggested it. Tbh no one knows what's going on in Dongwoo's head, but it's all good bc he's the resident happy virus. Only the members are allowed to pick on their leader, they'll bite your head off if you do. Still one of the most underrated groups, it's insane. #redchilipepperpaste #kingsofsychronization<p/><b>EXO:</b> just a single mom raising her 8 kids after a tragic breakup. There are two types of fans: ot12 China line forever & everyone is gay for each other. Still waiting on Baekhyun to adopt us all. Everyone suffers when EXO isn't promoting. Always fighting something/are angsty in their MV's ??? #lipstickchateau #yixingcomehome<p/><b>BTOB:</b> legit the most extra group ever. Besties with Vixx, Ilhoon was probably a love child between Minhyuk and Hakyeon. A member can fit his whole fist in his mouth, and the other can break a whole watermelon with his head...don't test them. Have the most amazing ballad songs but are always underrated. #Peniel'swalltwerk #stopChangsub<p/><b>VIXX:</b> concept kings, there isn't a single thing they couldn't pull off. We were all baptized by Hakyeon's dancing. Have the best relationship with their fans, even wrote a song about Starlights. Call Ravi if you wanna make a cute diss track about your enemy. Possibly might be the epitome of contradiction, you're gonna have whiplash after every comeback. #whereisLeo'ssolo #KenVi4life<p/><b>BTS:</b> actually are hella cool once you get past the problematic fans. Massive headaches are all you're gonna experience after trying to figure out the meaning of a music video. Buddies who watch porn together, stay together. They go so hard on their choreography ?? Shook. The true definition of "started from the bottom now we're here" #gucciislove #gucciislife<p/><b>Topp Dogg:</b> could probably rule the third generation of kpop if they weren't so underrated. They have nothing to do but go around and kiss men's lips all day. Peppero embasadors. Titty Boyz. Fans are loyal af, and probably have one of the cutest fan names ever. They're each others biggest shippers, probably. #hanjooruinedme #WOW<p/><b>Got7:</b> if you thought btob was bad, you're gonna have a stroke. Dab7. Diversity at its finest. Always needing to be in trend and act hip, just don't let Bambam near the aux cord. Besties with probably every group out there. Stop taking off your shirt literally no one cares ???? No cucumbers. #EEEEEAAAAZZY. #welcometoYoungjae'sclass<p/><b>Monsta X:</b> were so awkward around each other during No.Mercy but are now the best of besties. Everyone wants to know what Changkyun is thinking. Shownu, please drop that screamo album. Someone is always screaming at some point and no one knows why. Hyungwon is on his way to becoming an international meme/runway model. #pepewho? #bringwonhosomenoodles<p/><b>Day6:</b> not the Fandom name we wanted, but it's the one we deserve. It's just jae trying to westernize his 4 meme kids, while also attempting to teach them the meaning of life: Bob. Everyone is shook now that JYP finally knows what to do with them. Tough love with father jae, but he totally doesn't hate the second maknae. #lobsterforjae #wonpildumbasalways<p/><b></b> lmao don't be offended by any of this bc I literally have no life so u have nothing to be offended about<p/></p>
i really did everything i could to avoid doing this but
i’m a lesbian who was kicked out as a teenager and pretty much completely disowned – i’m 25 now and i’ve been poor as dirt (last year was the first year my income was above the poverty line) the last 7+ years. i worked two jobs, went to school and worked full time, and moved across the country twice with little to no help from my family. even now i make minimum wage with tips. i’m not well off – just as responsible as i can be.
now that i’m 25 i can finally go to school since i don’t have to report my “family” income. based on my own income, pell grants will cover almost all of my school expenses, and working part time + student loans should cover most of my living expenses.
however, i’m going to lose my health insurance in 2 months. i’m nearly out of dental already. i don’t know what i can do yet, because my financial aid for school has been put through the verification process for months and months and lots of paperwork and i don’t know what my period grant is exactly or what kind of student loans i’m applicable for. on top of that, i have to pay $1,130.00 to my University out of pocket because financial aid didn’t come through in time.
i’ve never worked less than full time – in the decade i’ve spent much of it working 2 jobs – but now i’m going less than part time and my job i’ve worked for years won’t even give me so much as health insurance. i’m very scared and i feel like i’m jumping off of a cliff.
i do have credit cards, but with no health insurance and only a part time job i need them for emergencies only. $1k+ is enough to stress my credit out horribly, and i have absolutely no fallback plan. i’m an adult survivor of an abusive homophobic family taking a huge risk by finally going to college like i’ve always wanted to.
i know this is the best thing for me, and i know that my life will improve so much with a degree – and eventually my JD – and i know that i have the potential to do this. i think i might be able to survive on my student loans. but right now… i have absolutely no information. right now im going in blind. and i know this is the best choice for me, but i don’t want to end up struggling or to have everything fall through because of my low income. i make minimum wage (+ tips) and even full time i don’t even know if i can afford books. my father doesn’t speak to me and my mom has nothing she can give me.
my paypal is email@example.com and my squarecash is $wishbyspirit
i’m a lesbian survivor who has lived through hell
and is finally trying to do what i know is best for me, but it’s terrifying. everything helps. this is the biggest risk i’ve ever taken in my life, and i’ve sworn to myself that i’ll never be homeless or struggling to eat again, because those struggles have been a reality for years of my life.
thank you all for everything in advance. i appreciate all of the help i can get.