jumping weirdos

things from my childhood I think about a lot
  • every day during recess we’d hold weddings
  • I started a gang called The Ducks that consisted of my friend, Chickie, her boyfriend, The Rooster, and me, Little Quack
  • I’d eat rocks to establish my dominance as I was a really small kid, eventually I became known as Survivor Girl and was going to win our school a million dollars by being on the show
  • I found a tiny grape and decided to keep it and watch it grow, so I put it on my windowsill and woke up to it being a raisin. It took years be able to eat a grape or raisin
  • my friend dated a tree and honestly it was my favourite of all her boyfriends
  • I got my head stuck in a fence
  • I opened an umbrella on a windy day and got lifted a foot into the air and started flying down the playground until my friends grabbed me
  • and my favourite; we held a grade six talent show and I convinced a (male) friend of mine to be Hannah Montana and the whole school thought I had actually gotten Hannah Montana to come to our school, so my friends and I played on it. The talent show came and he had his handmade dress, wig and makeup on (and for some reason he brought a motor cross glove, just one, to wear) and at the end of the show he performed with us as background dancers in Halloween costumes and then ripped off the wig saying “I’m not Hannah Montana, I’m Miley Cyrus” and I’ve never laughed harder or seen more little children cry
  • bonus: we only had eye shadow for makeup so we used it for everything, eyes, blush and lipstick, but we didn’t bring makeup remover so he had to wear the makeup for the rest of the school day, but the eye shadow was cheap and stained his lips from being on too long and his lips stayed purple for a few days