jump file

Have you guys heard about the newest adventure race craze? It’s called the Tough Mulder. Obstacles include:

  • Running through cornfields shouting “SCULLAAAAAY!” as you try to avoid helicopter searchlights
  • Programming speed dial on a several generations-old cell phone before a soda machine detonates
  • Riding a rising UFO bareback for a minimum of 8 seconds
  • Lying in a coffin for an undetermined amount of time
  • Choosing a terrible tie and tying it properly
  • Following your boo down a massive hole in the forest
  • Building a tower of dead bodies
  • Jumping on to a moving train
  • Impregnating an infertile woman
  • Outrunning a horse
  • Driving a stake through a vampire
  • Finding your sister’s clone
  • Commandeering a Sno-Cat® across the Antarctic
  • …and more!

Credit to race organizers @crossedbeams, @dangerscully, @defnotmeyo, @kateyes224, @damselindistressmya for the above (and way more, but I limited it to just the ones that made me pee myself.)

“You’re dreaming. You know that, don’t you?”

BTS Imagines || Horeumon Ttaemune - Hyung Line

NAMJOON - 


After a long day of work last night, you sleepily were in the kitchen, getting breakfast ready for Namjoon and yourself. You were flipping the pancakes with a spatula, but it got caught on the side of the pan. Stupidly half-asleep, you use your fingers to flip it over, as a consequence, burning your index finger tip. You let out a hiss from your lips.


You feel arms snake around your waist, while you continue on with your cooking.


“Morning gorgeous.” Namjoon greeted in his raspy, morning voice.


“Morning handsome.” You reply, keeping focused on the job at hand.


“Your finger’s red.” He pointed out, lifting your idle hand, resting on the counter.


“Yeah… I burned it.”


Unaware of your injured hand, you felt a wet sensation sucking at your fingertip.


You quickly retract your finger back from the sensation and turn to face Namjoon. He had a sly smirk on his face.


“What?”


“What the hell was that for?” Your back was facing towards the stove dangerously.


Namjoon reached his hand around the small of your back and turned off the stove knob, his eyes still holding your gaze. 


“How the hell does someone look so beautiful in the morning?” He licks his top lip lightly, his hand resting agains your back. You didn’t believe him. You were in a baggy shirt with only your underwear and a messy bun. If that was beautiful, he might need to get his eyes checked. You put your hands on his chest ready to push him away, but he was one step ahead. Namjoon suddenly crashed his lips to yours, hungrily attacking your lips.


You let out a surprised gasp, as he picks you up by the thighs and sits you onto the opposite kitchen counter. Your hands could only find their way to his hair, tugging on in slightly, earning a groan from him.


“Fuck.” He hissed through his teeth. He introduced a sneaky tongue, causing you to moan in response.


His hand dipped down and under your shirt to your bare thighs. You nibble on his lower lip as he does so, feeling him smile slightly.


“You really have a knack for surprising me in the morning.” You mumble against his lips.


“Yeah, well I can’t help it if–” Your doorbell rings, making the both of you jump back in surprise. Namjoon fixes his hair. “Who’s that?”


You hop off the counter, pressing together your swollen lips.


“I, uh… might have invited Taehyung and Jimin over for breakfast.”


Originally posted by simondismydaddy



HOSEOK -


You joined the boys for a celebratory dinner for their attendance to the Billboard Music Awards. Hoseok was looking especially handsome, in a baby blue button up, his sleeves rolled to his elbows, and black dress pants with some fancy Gucci shoes that Taehyung bought him.


You were wearing a cute black skater dress with red heels to compliment it, sitting next to Hoseok comfortably. The table was round and you were between Hobi and Jungkook. You sat slightly more closer to Hoseok as he was your boyfriend obviously.


During the dinner, Hobi kept shifting uncomfortably in his seat, his eyes always averting from you when you looked his way.


“Hobi are you okay?” You placed a hand on his. He nods and gives you a reassuring smile.


You continue to enjoy your meal, as did the other, making small conversation among yourselves.


Suddenly a hand is felt on your bare thigh. You sit up straight in your seat in response with it. Your eyes quickly glance down to see Hoseok’s hand as the culprit. You look at him with a weird expression. He doesn’t meet your eyes although – he ate his food with his chopsticks in his other hand.


You shrugged it off, still devouring your steak, until his hand slid slightly higher up your thigh. You almost jump from your seat and your head snaps towards Hobi. You lightly raise your leg to hint him, but his hand stays put. You elbow him in his arm and he looks at you with an innocent face.


“Yah, Hobi.” You hiss, while everyone was distracted talking to each other.


“Did I tell you, you look so sexy tonight, sweetness?” He response with a sly smile.


Jungkook gags beside you.


“Save it for the bedroom you two.” Jimin comments smugly. You glare at Jimin and unintentionally stab your food with your fork.


Hobi chuckles darkly beside you while you click your teeth in frustration. Your thighs rubbed together in an anxious manner. His hand slipped between your thighs and travelled up just the slightest bit higher, almost to your panties. You suppress a squeak.


“Y/N.” You shudder at the table as Jin calls your name.


“Y-Yeah? Sorry.”


“I was saying, how are you going to get home tonight. I can take you and Hoseok with me to drop you home if you’d like.”


“U-Uh, that’s o-okay I w–.” A faint but noticeable stroke was felt against your covered entrance. “–AS GOING TO TAKE… a cab home…” You put a hand over Hoseok’s forearm, squeezing it slightly.


A snicker is heard from Hobi’s end at your reply to Jin.


“Uh… okay?” Jin raises his brow at you as Namjoon and Yoongi only laugh.


You flush pink in embarrassment. What was Hoseok doing?! He began to draw circles on the slightly dampened fabric. Did he honestly think this was gonna end well?


“So how’s your sister been Y/N?” Taehyung questions. God, you did not need this right now.


“Shhh…hhhe’sss great! ThAnKs FoR ASkinG!” You bite your lip. Jungkook gives you a weird look. You feel air brush against bare skin and you stand up suddenly, scaring everyone.


“I… need to go to the bathroom!” Everyone exchanges odd looks except for Hoseok who can only smile innocently as you walk away.


Originally posted by itsrapmonster



YOONGI -


Yoongi was composing a song for you, but he wouldn’t give you a preview until it was done and you were dripping with curiosity to hear just a snippet, so while he was watching television in the lounge room, you snuck into his studio and closed the door quietly. You hurriedly clicked through his files, trying to figure out what he would call the song. Soft footsteps could be heard from outside of the hallway and you frantically begged the file to jump out at you. It was kinda a hard task considering that his desktop was messy and piled with so many files.


Silence in the hallway. Your shoulders somewhat relaxed as you clicked furiously. The door swung open, revealing a slightly unimpressed boyfriend.


“What are you doing?” He states coldly. You spun to face him in his computer chair and tapped your nails nervously on the arm rests.


“Well… I was… just looking for… uh…”


“You were looking for the song, weren’t you?” Weirdly, his lips curve upwards in a smirk. You furrow your brows in confusion.


“Yeah…”


He closes the door behind him, a click of the lock filling the silence of the room. Yoongi shoos you out of his chair as you stand up quickly from it and he sits down in it, looking through his computer. He clicks a file called ‘Instrum_Y/N.mp3.’ Duh. A soft, sensual tune begins to play from the speakers. Was this the song? It sounded… like something from Fifty Shades of Grey.


Yoongi turns to you, standing there like a statue. “Come closer.” He demands. You feel a lump in your throat form. You do as your told, taking a few steps closer to him. “Bend down level to me.`` 


You comply again, lowering your self to his level, bending at the hip.


``You’re so sneaky~” He says with a low, mocking tone. You couldn’t help but feel a tingling sensation in your stomach. This song was adding to the situation at hand.


He cups your face and slowly pulls you in, his soft, small petal-like lips melding with yours. He suckles at your bottom lip, making you shudder. Yoongi reaches for your waist, still holding the kiss, and brings you towards him and pats his knees for you to notice. You lift your legs up and rest both knees on either side of his waist, your bottom lingering over his area. You kept your hands on the back of his neck and one of his cheeks as he trailed his tongue sloppily across your bottom lip and down along your jawline.


“Yoongi…” You say breathlessly. You weren’t even at that stage and this man had you panting as if your life depended on it.


“Yeah?”


“Can we… move somewhere more spacious…?” You suggest. He detaches his tongue from your neck and pulls back.


“Of course.”


Originally posted by yoonseok



SEOKJIN -


You watch backstage as Jin rehearses hard for their performance tonight.The boys were glistening with sweat as they came off for a break.


“You guys did so well!” You applaud them. They all exchange smiles with you as Jin stops in front of you. His bangs clung to his sweaty forehead in a very attractive manner. You had just arrived backstage so he wasn’t expecting you. He looked at you from head to toe.


“What are you wearing?” He asks in a suspicious tone.


You were wearing a black slim fitting skirt which was down to above your knees and a wine red long sleeve top, stopping just above your belly button.


“Uh, clothes?” You reply sarcastically.


He grunts in response. “Princess, there are obviously lots of guys here and they’re going to look at you.”


“Is my baby being overprotective?” You pinch his dampened cheeks. He sighs and grabs your hand, pulling you in to kiss your cheek. Jin pulls away, only to hold you in his gaze. Something seemed off about the look he gave you, it wasn’t loving, nor was it upset. His eyes were slightly dilated and narrowed.


“Jin are you–”


“`Come with me.” He grabs you by the wrist somewhat harshly, surprising you. He wasn never this intense with you before, rather sweet and caring. He opens the control room. The people in charge were also on break, as the room was dead empty. He pulls you inside and shuts the door behind him.


“Uhm. What’s going on…?” A slightl nervousness could be heard in your voice. Were you in trouble?


“Y/N. You don’t just come to rehearsals dressed like this and expect a man not to fawn over you.” He strides closer to you, causing you to step back. Your back reaches the controls panel, restricting you from escaping any further.


“Seokjin… I don’t think we should be doing this in here… or at all really…”


Jin places his arms on either side of your small frame and leans in, his hot, minty breath intoxicating your senses. Your eyes land on his plush lips and your mouth part open in a subtle way. His pressed his lips to yours gently. Your spine shivers at the softness of his lips as you awkwardly rest your hands on his broad chest. His legs close around yours, completely encasing you with his body. He modestly runs his tongue on your lower lip, begging to go further. You let him proceed as he deepens the kiss. He slowly allowed to to rest on the sound board, so you were somewhat laying down. His left hand slides between your thighs and your body shoot up the sound board in shock, feeling your shoulder hit a switch. Unaware of this, you pull his shirt down to you, so his chest was against yours and your arms snaked around his neck. His hand lightly caressed your thigh as you let you a small moan.


Meanwhile… backstage.


“Where could Jin-hyung and Y/N have gone off to?” Hoseok asked, taking a swig of his water.


“Maybe they went to grab something to each quickly. You know how those two are.” Jimin chuckles.


Suddenly the overhead speaker let out a crackle, indicating that they were turned on. A few staff members turns their heads to the speakers in confusion, as did Namjoon and Yoongi.


ALthough quiet, a feminine moan resonated from the speakers. Jungkook spar his drink out in surprise and Taehyung and Jimin looked at each other with wide eyes. The three eldest stood up as fast as lightning.


“Well… now we know they aren’t getting food.`` 


Originally posted by fawnave





Sorry I’ve.been absent for a while, school exams and assignments got me like >.>

I feel so sinful omg Lord please wash my sins away


CAN YOU BELIEVE OUR BOYS WON BBMAs SOCIAL ARTIST?

anonymous asked:

I'm kinda wondering how everyone would react to playing FNAF

Google–has the timing down to a science, and has beaten even the highest difficulty level. It’s not really a challenge to him after he learns the formula, but he does it just so he can say he did it.

Ed–rage quits every single time.

Bim–can’t and won’t play it. It scares him too much, and he’s never able to look at a bunny the same way again.

The Host–is blind. But he loves listening to MatPat’s theory videos on the lore of the games. He has his own theory that he wants to share with the YouTuber one day.

Doc–isn’t half bad, but every time he gets jump scared he throws his tablet across the room (on accident of course)

Silver–wins on pure luck. He played through the entire five nights on his first try, and everyone was absolutely dumbfounded.

Dark–finds the game amusing rather than scary. He takes notes on the jump scares and files them away for future use.

Wilford–thinks the animatronics are adorable. He keeps asking Google to build him his own, but the droid refuses on the grounds that they don’t need another four killer robots running around the building.

(Thank for for this! I had a lot of fun writing this one!)

More Than Friends? (Part 1)

Luke x OC (Caitlin)

A/N: So, this is for Hannah’s aka @reiding-and-writing ’s OC/Trope Challenge and I chose the “This is strictly about sex but wait iS IT?” trope and I decided to do a Luke x OC fic because there’s hardly any fanfic on this smol bean. Please don’t be put off by the fact this is an OC fic, it’s still smut nonetheless. You learn a little bit about her in the beginning of this fic. I haven’t decided whether this will just be a two parter or if it’ll go further than that but, yeah. I hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 1,503, Warnings: Swearing, Oral Sex, Daddy Kink, Unprotected Sex (wrap it before you tap it, yo)

Caitlin and Luke joined the BAU at practically the same time. They were both asked to join once they had the predicament with the prison breakout. Luke had left the fugitive task force and the 75th rangers regiment whereas Caitlin had recently left Interpol where she actually worked with Emily for a few years. When Caitlin first laid eyes on the prestigious Luke Alvez she knew straight away that she was intrigued. Joining the BAU meant they were in the same boat, being new in a tight knit team was especially challenging and it brought them closer. They were completely different from each other yet they were already closer than anyone else on the team. I mean, after all, they do say opposites attract.

Caitlin and Luke embarked on a… special relationship. Friends With Benefits. Everything was going fine until Caitlin started to develop feelings for the Spanish hunk. He’d do specific things after sex that would just make her swoon. He’d hold her close to him until she fell asleep, he’d place kisses on her temple if they were both in the shower but most of all, his hands were magic against her soft skin, goosebumps erupting at the touch.

“Luke, do you fill out those files from the LA P.D.?” Caitlin asked as her coffee cup bounced in her hand with the movement of her feet against the carpet. “Uh, yeah. They should be here somewhere,” he furrowed his brows, scanning his messy desk, before jumping up with the file. “Thank you,” Caitlin winked in his direction, her flirty character causing Luke to smirk. She went to grab the file, but Luke’s hand pulled it to his chest, thrusting her into his arms. “My house. Tonight,” he whispered, letting go at the file as Caitlin nodded walking away in haste to calm herself down.

There wasn’t a case at hand and so the day went incredibly slow, it consisted everyone going back and forth to Emily’s office getting her signature on every piece of paperwork they had completed. “You should head home, it’s getting pretty late,” Emily suggested as her pen moved swiftly across the piece of paper Caitlin had just given her. Caitlin took a quick glance at the clock which read 1:17 am. “Make use of tomorrow. I’m pretty sure it’s going to be your only day off,” Emily continued before she watched the brunette nod in her direction. “I’m on my way out, I just wanted to get this done,” Caitlin yawned, her hand covering her mouth as she mouthed a ‘goodbye’ to Emily, walking out into the spacious floor. Luke was packing up his things under the dim yellow light of his desk lamp, ready for the upcoming events. “You ready?” he whispered, looking into Emily’s office, the blinds slightly blocking his view. “Yeah, just let me get my bag and we can get going,” Caitlin bit her lip in anticipation, her nimble fingers laced around the strap of her go bag before she linked her arm with Luke’s.

Her body was pressed up against the couch in Luke’s living room. His apartment made him really easy to profile. It was clean, organised and had a safe feel to it and so she’d always feel comfortable. But, every time his apartment managed to end up messier than it ever was. He angrily kissed her, pressing his body up against hers enabling her to feel his throbbing erection that was restricted between two pieces of clothing. “Luke, baby,” she moaned into the kiss, her arousal easier to hide. “Ah, ah, ah,” he paused, shaking his finger from side to side in her face “Sorry, I mean, daddy,” her voice growled loudly, echoing off the empty walls in his plain apartment. He grinned down at the girl, before reattaching his mouth to her neck, biting, letting his teeth graze over the purple bruise already forming. The pain she was experiencing was euphoric, his glided down her body, causing her to shiver. “Daddy, please,” she begged, her voice cracking as his hand ghosted over her clothed heat. He paused for breath before gliding down her body, her core level with Luke’s eyes, practically jerking into his mouth. “Remember the safe word?” he asked, urgently, he loved pleasuring her and wanted so badly to rip off her jeans and fuck her right there and then but, he needed her to tell him that she was okay. That she was fine with him being rough. “Pineapple,” she sighed out, her voice softer than she anticipated. He nodded up at her, sloppily removing her jeans and underwear in one swift motion.

Her core was completely exposed to him. Luke looked at the girl in front of him, admiring her glistening slit. He bent her legs so that they were practically touching her shoulders and got a better view of her wetness. His mouth involuntarily inched forward, hesitantly placing a kiss against her swollen clit. Caitlin’s breath picked up in her throat, the feeling of Luke’s plump lips on her womanhood could’ve been enough to make her cum. He licked a stripe up from her entrance. Her sensitive bud, yearning to be touched once again. His hands pressed against the back of her knees keeping her legs in place before completely diving into her pussy. Caitlin moaned at the sensation as Luke’s tongue swirled and flicked at her clit, collecting her arousal and slurping it up like it was second nature. “Don’t stop, oh my God,” she whispered, her hips He placed the flat of his tongue against her clit, bringing his fingers down to her dripping slit. He placed one finger inside her, knuckle deep. Thrusting in and out mixed with the rhythmic flicking of his tongue pushed her over the edge. Caitlin’s body lifted into his mouth at the overwhelming sensation that pooled inside her. “Fuck, daddy,” she screamed, her voice heightened at the feeling. After coming down from her high, the light headed feeling began to subside, Luke still licking up her overly delicate clit, making sure all of her arousal was on the tip of his tongue before stopping to look at the beautiful sight in front of him.

“Get on your fucking knees,” he grunted, sitting upright on the couch, watching Caitlin scramble her way out of her position, her legs feel like jelly as she obliged and rested in between his legs. She unbuckled his belt with ease, hearing him let out a breathy groan as his dick sprung out from his boxers. The cool air hitting the tip of his cock made him sigh out with relief as Caitlin took this opportunity to lick up from the base to the tip of his throbbing cock. “Fuck, baby,” he breathed out, bunching her hair up in a bundle and shoving her head further down. She hummed at the use of the term of endearment, sending overwhelming vibrations through Luke. Her head bobbed up and down, taking the salty liquid pooling out of his head and lubricating his shaft. Her hollowed cheeks quivered as he pushed her head down, feeling his tip hit her throat.  "Daddy’s about to cum,“ he cried out, the tightness of her mouth, causing him to shudder in pleasure as he released his seed. His vision was impaired for about 30 seconds but he could feel the numbing sensation of Caitlin releasing him, hearing the infamous ‘pop’ sound as it hit his stomach. As soon as he regained his strength, he pulled her up so that she was straddling him. “This is probably the best sex you’ve ever had,” she panted out, her reddened lips were swollen from sucking so hard. “You might want to prove it. Ride me,” he demanded, his voice strong and powerful. Her hips rose at his remark, grabbing his member and placing it at her entrance. She slowly sunk into his cock, instantly letting out a moan. “You’re so fucking tight,” he whispered, nipping at her earlobe as she began to move up and down. Her walls were stretching out against his length, her breasts plumply bouncing up and down as Luke watched in awe. “You like riding daddy’s cock and being a bad girl don’t you, hm?” he yelled, slapping her ass, causing her to bury her face in Luke’s sweaty chest, his hips thrust into her, hitting her sweet spot. “Cum for me,” he groaned, his thrusts getting sloppier. She was coming undone pretty quickly and after a few more thrusts they both were a blubbering mess.

They sat in silence for most of the time, his actions speaking louder than words. He pulled her into his chest, their naked bodies moulding together as one as he drifted off into a deep slumber. Caitlin stared up at the man she knew she shouldn’t have developed feelings for, but she couldn’t help it. He made it incredibly hard not to love him. She was falling, and she knew that there was nothing she could do to stop it.