juliet dream

shakespeare summarized badly
  • A Midsummer Night's Dream: doing weird shit at 2 am
  • Hamlet: dramatic gay makes tough choices
  • Romeo and Juliet: "hating dear old mom and daA-A-A-D"
  • Much Ado About Nothing: dear god they're oblivious
  • Twelfth Night: gender is irrelevant
Conspiracy theory:

When Mercutio lay dying  Queen Mab came and took pity on him, and since she could not heal his wounds she turned him into a fairy and got him a job in the fairy court of a friend of hers.
This also explains why Puck got so annoyed at the players, in his former life he had god knows enough trouble with star crossed lovers!

The signs as female Shakespearean characters

Aries: Desdemona (Othello)

Taurus: Cordelia (King Lear)

Gemini: Beatrice (Much Ado About Nothing)

Cancer: Miranda (The Tempest)

Leo: Titania (A Midsummer Night’s Dream)

Virgo: Juliet (Romeo and Juliet)

Libra: Hermia (A Midsummer’s Night’s Dream)

Scorpio: Lady Macbeth (Macbeth)

Sagittarius: Helena (A Midsummer Night’s Dream)

Capricorn: Viola (Twelfth Night)

Aquarius: Katherina (Taming of the Shrew)

Pisces: Ophelia (Hamlet)

Shakespeare modern translation.

Hamlet: *Pretends to be insane and accidentally becomes insane*

Romeo and Juliet: 1st world problems with twelve year olds.

Julius Caesar: Can I have a Caesar salad?

Merry Wives of Windsor: Midlife crisis.

A Midsummer Night’s Dream: Inception.

Macbeth: How not to get away with murder.

The Taming of the Shrew: Don’t know whether to be offended or to laugh awkwardly. Proceeds to do both.

Much Ado About Nothing: Everyone wants everyone.

Merchant of Venice: Well that escalated quickly.

Othello: A break up song gone wrong.

Every single sonnet: *One arm draped over eyes* The angst that is my life.

great shakespearean themes for a wedding
  • Twelfth Night: Twins get married to two different people at the same time. The officiator wears yellow stockings. The twins dress up as each other during the reception.
  • Much Ado About Nothing: Groom accuses bride of adultery. Bride faints/fakes her death. Everyone is busy trying to set up the maid of honour and the best man with each other.
  • The Winter's Tale: Groom accuses bride of adultery. Bride pretends to be a statue for the next couple of years.
  • A Midsummer Night's Dream: A triple wedding, except prior to the ceremony two of the couples completely mix up who they're getting married to. An incompetent group of actors perform Romeo and Juliet at the reception.
  • Romeo and Juliet: The reception features a duel between the boyfriend of the groom's cousin with the bride's cousin.
  • Hamlet: The wedding happens at the same time as a funeral, and the widow at the funeral is marrying the dead person's sibling.
  • All's Well That Ends Well: Groom thinks he's marrying one person, but turns out the bride is an entirely different person. The entire affair is conducted in a darkened venue.
  • Macbeth: Three witches show up and suggest the groom kill his boss.
  • Julius Caesar: The groom gets stabbed to death by members of the wedding party. His best man makes a speech at the reception about how ~honourable~ one of the ushers is and incites a revolution.
  • Titus Andronicus: Invite two convicted rapists to the wedding. Bake them into the cake.
  • Henry V: Send the happy couple tennis balls. Only tennis balls.
  • inspired by this post: http://acrickettofillthesilence.tumblr.com/post/101009683501/great-literary-themes-for-a-wedding
The signs as plays by Shakespeare

Aries: Julius Caesar

Taurus: King Lear

Gemini: Macbeth

Cancer: Much Ado About Nothing

Leo: Othello

Virgo: The Tempest

Libra: Hamlet

Scorpio: A Midsummer Night’s Dream

Sagittarius: Love’s Labours Lost

Capricorn: Romeo and Juliet

Aquarius: The Taming of the Shrew

Pisces: As You Like it

The signs as Shakespearean Heroines

Aries- Beatrice in Much Ado About Nothing (Bold, knows what she deserves and won’t take no for an answer)

Taurus- Cleopatra in Antony and Cleopatra (Fierce ruler, but also can live luxuriously)

Gemini- Viola in Twelfth Night (cunning and clever yet kind at heart, dual personas)

Cancer- Titania in A Midsummer Night’s Dream (Timeless and powerful but also has a soft spot)

Leo- Katherina in Taming of the Shrew (Reckless and emotional but also wise beneath the surface)

Virgo- Olivia in Twelfth Night (Obsessed with detail, sometimes vain but also precious)

Libra- Juliet in Romeo and Juliet (Always dives headfirst, sometimes confused but also profound)

Scorpio- Lady Macbeth in Macbeth (Subject to lust and greed but also demanding and intimidating)

Sagittarius- Miranda in The Tempest (Virtuous but also very different, has her own way of thinking)

Capricorn- Goneril in King Lear (Always about getting ahead. Ambitious and clever but not too informed)

Aquarius- Hermia in A Midsummer Night’s Dream (Quick witted for the most part but sometimes can cause trouble)

Pisces- Ophelia (Peaceful and has a tortured soul. Always seeking to please others, not strong willed)

Signs as Shakespeare Charecters

Aries: Richard III- Richard III

Taurus: Viola- Twelfth Night 

Gemini: Beatice - Much Ado About Nothing 

Cancer: Hamlet- Hamlet 

Leo: Kate - Taming of the Shrew 

Virgo: Lady Anne- Richard III

Libra: Hermia- Midsummer Nights Dream 

Scorpio:  Lady MacBeth-MacBeth

Sagittarius: Rosalind - As you Like it 

Capricorn: Orlando- As You Like It 

Aquarius:  Puck- Midsummer Nights Dream 

Pisces: Cordelia - King Lear 

Reasons to assume a new identity and flee the country:
  • A friend request from Richard III on fb
  • A dinner invitation by the Macbeths
  • A trust exercise where Iago is your partner
  • A satnav programmed by Lysander
  • A free marriage councelling by Oberon
  • A fashion tutorial you have to obey run by Malvolio
  • A game of Jenga with Mercutio and Tybalt on your team
  • An invitation for a poetry reading by Orlando
  • A holiday in France with Henry V as guide ordering your food in French
  • Being the one to tell Richard II that Disneyland is not his kingdom  and he does not get to live in Sleeping Beauty’s castle