julie plec i hate you!

An Episode I didn't Hate {TVD 8x13 Review}

You guys know the drill, I write everything in real time so if there’s something I got mistaken it will probably be made up for later on in the post. This will have anti-Damon, anti-Delena, anti-Steroline, anti-Bamon, anti-Bonenzo sentiments and may include mentions of misogynoir and other TV shows. If you do not like, you do not have to read. This was done on my phone so bear with me. You ready? OK. Let’s go.

1. Y’all are so mean. I titled my last review 8x13 review and tonight’s episode was the 13th episode and none of you told me. Petty.

2. The show was smart starting with Kai because I have such a huge ass grin on my face. I swear only Kai could make getting out of hell comedic. “No no, two beers, three burgers” I mean, does the show know that I have a thing for burgers? Like I literally go around my city trying to find the best cheeseburgers and that little tidbit is something I always put on dating profiles if I choose to go on tinder or something so like I’m not saying me and Kai belong together, I’m just saying there are certain compatibilities.

3. Also Matt’s hair in that bell scene was stupid af.

4. Those rings on Kai’s fingers though … omg I missed him.

5. I mean I would freak out if I couldn’t taste food either and probably kill the waiter too. But this just reminds me of The Black Pearl.

6. Alaric is actually pretty calm coming face to face with his fiancee’s murderer.

7. “I think I’m on the waitlist to heaven but they’re not returning my calls” aww, something funny for once.

8. I don’t know why Caroline couldn’t say this to Bonnie face to face? Like why does no one just GO to her. Leave a fucking casserole or basket of muffins on the doorstep, a letter, something.

9. So when a vampire turns human then their compulsion wears off of their victims? I mean I guess.

10. I don’t understand how Bonnie opened a door to hell but she has no magic.

11. OMG. Bonnie on the phone with Damon and Kai in the backseat mouthing “Let me say ‘hi’, let me say ‘hi’!” YAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. I mean obviously it’s fanbaiting but I don’t give a shit, that was hilarious and adorable and so very Kai.

12. AND he drew a heart on a fogged up window. If I had access to gifs right now, tho.

13. But seriously, Damon legitimately called Bonnie because he needed something from her. Honestly, that’s like 80% of their relationship. And if I felt like he was lying about Kai so as to not worry her and let her grieve then I’d be like I guess but this just Damon being Damon.

14. Bonnie sensing Kai is awesome.

15. I like how we focus on the fallout of Stefan’s victims but with Damon, we focus on him being Damon and everything Dorian tells Stefan is fair but Damon never gets anyone to tell him that. Whatever.

16. “Better question, why are you still following him?” “DAMON!” LOL, this episode is ACTUALLY funny at times. Who wrote this? “Oh good, you roped Bonnie into this, I was HOPING you would maximize the collateral damage.”

17. I find it ironic that Damon is going after a sexual predator.

18. New to the gift? WHAT?

19. So Bonnie is learning from the devil.

20. Gorgeous close-up of Kat.

21. I just don’t believe BE enough for it to warrant her learning from the devil on how to contact him. Also please note every time I say devil it’s in quotations.

22. Cade is such a petty devil. It’s one soul. You have no other workers?

23. Why can’t Caroline compel Dorian to leave, call an ambulance and get them to where he is?

24. Oh look, it happened.

25. Good.

26. I feel like I should be moved by that SC scene. I mean I guess.

27. Seriously Chris looks really hot.

28. “I hate this already.” Lol Kai.

29. Damon your forgiveness means shit, get the fuck out of here.

30. Lol I love Stefan but this whole Dorian can either lock Stefan up in prison or work on building a better future aren’t mutually exclusive. He can do both.

31. Why are they acting like Caroline hasn’t killed a whole bunch of people? She killed 12 people ina single episode.

32. I actually liked the SC scene in the hospital because Candice actually showed emotion. They’ve become DE where I only believe them when they’re confronting the issues in their relationship.

33. I really can’t get into Bonenzo, like I can’t, I want to feel for them in this scene with the candles and the kissing and the reunion but it’s SO muted.

34. “I missed you girls so much” did you though?

35. That Calaric stare has so much chemistry compared to Steroline.

36. LOL this twin was literally going to set her sister on fire for hurting Caroline. Is it wrong that I find it hilarious?

37. I love it when Damon gets tricked because he always thinks he’s got the upper hand and he NEVER DOES.

This was literally the best episode in two seasons. Because of Kai. And the writers clearly like writing for him because there were actual funny moments this episode and there was energy and a pace and things were more cohesive although the mythology around Bonnie and Cade still doesn’t make sense to me, I think that Stefan’s punishment and his inability to figure out who he is and what to do and meeting his ghosts and pasts was well done but it’s still irksome that Damon never really has to face any of that and Damon’s “let’s get Elena back” is like, I guess, sure, it’s only entertaining because it involves Kai.