Okay so in Batman Beyond there's an episode where Bruce and Terry go see a 'Batman Musical', just imagine that goes on in Gotham and Jason finds out and asks(forces/tricks) the batfam to go.
i’m finally answering this! i had a really rough week, which is why this took a while, but i kept thinking about this prompt and laughing, so thank you for that.
and on that note: are you serious, that’s amazing. i vaguely remember watching batman beyond but i don’t actually remember all that much about it. i’ll need to look this up.
but yes. yes. i want this to be a Thing.
i want to imagine it as something between holy musical b@man! and the ember island players. like. just picture the kind of crazy misinformed shit that these people are tossing into the mix because what’s the truth and what’s the lie, no one knows, they’re going to make a musical about batman and his however many kids/sidekicks anyway
(they people putting on this play are probably college students)
(stephanie has probably dropped by to help with set designs and laughed herself sick in the process)
getting back on track, how does jason find out about it?
there are two ways i think it could happen. one: jason loves lit. we know this. he collected first editions with alfred and bruce when he was a kid. in my personal experience, if you like lit, you almost definitely like theater in some sense as well. at the very least you’ve read plays.
jason holds his goddamn red hood helmet like he’s hamlet and it’s yorick.
Anon who sent the Batman Musical ask! That was amazing! I laughed so much, and now I can just picture Jason singing/humming the songs on patrol and getting Steph to join in with him
there was a nightwing song. it referenced nightwing’s butt at least five times; three of them were puns. dick loves it. he sings it all the time, completely without shame.
damian is disgusted
why is grayson Like This
there was a robin song which was quite good
there was also a robin and batgirl song
jason and steph take to singing that one if they go on patrol together (or sometimes steph and cass sing it together)
there’s a line that goes something like “robin and batgirl here to stop this crime!!” which is perfect for jason and steph and it’s the main thing that they sing to announce their presence to the baddies
the best part is that they can switch out red hood and spoiler with it if they want (bc same syllable count), or they can keep it as is because they’re robin and batgirl, or steph can lay claim to robin and jason sings batgirl’s part while they’re kicking ass
the best of adam west batman was there in the musical. and by that i mean there was a whole bunch of “gee willikers batman!” and “holy _____, batman!!”
did a tiny dick grayson actually say these things when he was robin? does gotham have an incredibly long memory when it comes to its vigilantes? or did the creators of the musical make it up wholesale as an added bit of humor
probably a bit of both honestly
the many and varied signs everywhere around the stage are just to be funny, though
the family ends up in a kind of competition to see how many quotes they can slip in before bruce notices and makes them stop
this game is different from the quote-off/singing competition that they also start to regularly involve themselves in with the rest of their siblings. in this game you get points for how many/most obvious/most obscure quotes/if you can make song lyrics sound like regular speech when talking to batman
bruce knows way too many song lyrics/quotes from this musical now
he’s so tired
a few weeks after the musical premiered, a video shows up on the internet, completely untraceable in the way that means oracle was involved somehow.
in it, the person holding the camera is sneaking up on nightwing and batman. once you get close enough to hear them, it’s easy to see that nightwing is just quoting bits and pieces of the batman musical to batman’s face
finally, nightwing says a quote that, in the musical, has a direct response from batman. nightwing looks like he’s gearing up to finish the line and then carry on, but batman turns to him and–
he says the next line
nightwing nearly falls off the roof
“oh shit,” whoever’s holding the camera says, laughing so hard that they fumble their phone and the picture goes shaky
by the time it’s steady again, batman has turned to Look at the person with the camera
“hood, don’t even think about–” he starts
“too late!” red hood says, still laughing, and he takes off running.
the last thing that the viewers can see is a glimpse of the night sky and a vigilante over hood’s shoulder as batman follows him