Dad, this is my boyfriend Archie. And this is Archie’s boyfriend Jughead and Jughead’s girlfriend Betty, who is also my girlfriend.
Jughead and Betty:
Hey…oh…wait, sorry. What’s the situation?
What do you mean?
How does this work?
Archie is gay but he’s straight for me, but he’s gay for Jughead, and Jugheads really gay for Archie, but straight for Betty. Betty is straight, but really in the closet and gay for me. And I hate Jughead.