juan miranda

Miserable Without You

Pairing: Juan “Alvie” Alvarez and Reader

Requested: Nah, bro. But thank you to @manuelmiranduh for the push to do it! 

Warnings: Commas. Just lots of Commas. Mentions of depression and Alvie suffers from bipolar disorder. 

A/N: So the reason this took me longer to get out is because I started writing something different AND IT WAS TOO ANGSTY. I needed something different and this came to me at work when i should have been doing my job:)

I am always taking requests! Hit me up! 


Originally posted by raptorwhisperer

You sat on a small bench on the outskirts of the room as you watched Alvie interact with the other patients. A small smile played on your lips as he excitedly told a story to someone sitting beside him. You’d become accustomed to the weekly visits where Alvie would be too preoccupied with being a showboat to the other guests to sit down with you. It’s stopped bothering you a long time ago, it was nice just seeing his face, hearing his laugh, knowing that he was somewhere he couldn’t hurt himself. That was enough for now. It was when a tall gentleman sporting a cane sat down beside you, that you were pulled from your thoughts.

“I’ve been wondering who you were here for, but you’ve been staring at Alvie for 10 minutes with a dumb smile on your face so I think I’ve found my answer,” he stated bluntly which took you by surprise. Crossing your legs over each other, something you did when you were nervous, you spoke to the stranger.

“You guessed correctly, but I’m assuming you need the gratification of being right, or you wouldn’t have come over here.”

“Feisty, I like it.”

“No, just trying to get the most out of my visit.”

“You’re just staring at him though,” he stated with a hint of annoyance, “you can’t be getting the most out of your visit.” His comment caused you to huff and cross your arms in frustration.

“You don’t think I know that? It’s just – as long as he’s on a high I’m willing to keep it going. I can’t take anymore lows, they’re too painful. I love him too much.” That couldn’t have been the answer he was expecting, he went quiet and gently patted your knee in a way your father used to after giving you advice. Like clock work, you finally had Alvie’s attention. Jealousy was a trait you could always count on from him.  He abandoned his game before sauntering towards the two of you with determination.

“House, are you trying to steal my girl?” Ah, the stranger had a name.

“If I was, you’d never stand a chance!” House stood and sent a nod in your direction before taking his leave.

“What was that about,” Alvie asked before filling the seat next to you.

“Nothing, he was just being nice.” Alvie scoffed. You grabbed his hand in yours, a rare moment of intimacy for you both lately.

“Hey, there is nothing going on there. I didn’t even know his name until you came up. It’s doesn’t even sound like a real name at that, I mean House? C'mon! You can’t tell me he wasn’t named after a commodores song?” Your jokes brought him out from the darkness, a smirk gracing his lips as he turned to look at you.

“Why do you keep coming here?” His question took you by surprise.

“What are you talking about?”

“You can’t be happy (Y/N), coming here twice a week. Staying with me even though–” he was cut off by a nurse on the other side of the room.

“Okay everybody, visitors time is up. Say your goodbyes until next time!”

Alvie looked defeated. You motioned for him to follow you as you kept a firm grip on his hand. He walked with you down to the lobby and down a deserted corridor.

“(Y/N), what are you doing?”

“Shut up. You think I’m not happy. Well, you’re right. I’m miserable without you. The bed is cold, and I miss the way you make up raps about breakfast. I love you so much that I ache. Every time you find your way back in here I am depressed beyond compare and twice a week I force myself to shower and look presentable because I know you need me to be the strong one. ” You were crying by now, hot tears flooded your cheeks as you kept your eyes trained on the ground in embarrassment. Alvie brought his hands to cup your cheeks, catching every tear that fell with the pad of his thumb. You could tell he was crying too, his shoulders shook as emotion ran through him, his forehead pressed gently to yours.

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I never meant for you to feel that way. You have no idea how much I love you, I just thought you’d be happier without me. I tho-” for the second time in less than hour he was cut off. This time by you pressing your lips to his, the kiss was meant to be chaste, something to make you feel contact without going overboard. He was the one who deepened the kiss. Using one hand to pull you closer to him as you wrapped your arms around him. All the emotion you’d been feeling for weeks was poured into the kiss and he couldn’t seem to to get close enough to you. After what seemed like an eternity, you both pulled back, short of breath but blissfully happy.

“We’re gonna be okay. I know it.” Alvie sounded determined but you didn’t was to hurt his spirits. You didn’t press him for the meaning but let him give you one last kiss before he ran back upstairs.

Little did you know as you made your way back to your car, Alvie was making waves of his own upstairs.

Alvie knocked on the window to the doctors station.

“What can I do for you Alvie?”

“My meds,” he paused, your face strong in his mind, “I’m ready to get better.”


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