jrr-tolkien

Dagor Aglareb (Glorious Battle)

Sauron: I don’t think the Noldor want to fight.
Morgoth: … why.
Sauron: They’re building things.
Morgoth: Let’s watch them, them.
*Several hours later*
Morgoth: This is boring - fuck it. *causes earthquakes, random fire fissures and volcanoes to erupt. Sends out Orcs to fuck shit up*
Noldor: MORGOTH WHY —
Sauron: lel.
Morgoth: Ha.
Fingolfin: *PREPARED FOR THIS*
Maedhros: *ALSO PREPARED*
Orcs: *assaulting Dorthonion*
Orcs: *are wrecked*
Morgoth: ………………………..
Sauron: … I mean … it was fun while it lasted?
Morgoth: *fumes*
Maedhros: We need to siege Angband. Like now.
Fingolfin: Yes!
Angband: *siege’d for four hundred years-ish*
Morgoth: *so ANGRY*

8

One writes such a story not out of the leaves of trees still to be observed, nor by means of botany and soil-science; but it grows like a seed in the dark out of the leaf-mould of mind: out of all that has been seen or thought or read, that has long ago been forgotten, descending into the deeps. No doubt there is much selection, as with a gardener: what one throws on one’s personal compost-heap; and my mould is evidently made largely of linguistic matter. - J.R.R. Tolkien

2

For nearly 20 years in the middle of the 20th century, a small group of men met twice a week in the British university town of Oxford. They drank, they smoked, they told the occasional off-color joke and they sang a lot of very old songs. They also read aloud to each other from works they’d written, stories and papers that they believed to be radically out-of-step with their time. Everything about the greater world around them conspired to persuade them that what they valued and enjoyed was either doomed or already obsolete. One of them happily described himself as a “dinosaur.” Yet they would go on to shape global culture in ways we still feel today.

It wasn’t Christianity that gave a pack of old fogeys like the Inklings the power to rule the world

I never did upload this full version did I? My Luthien for Ladies of Literature Anthology 2!

For those of you who don’t know your Tolkien lore, Luthien is an elven princess who at one point basically kicked Sauron’s ass (back when Sauron was a much more powerful baddie than the pathetic fool he was in the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings) and claimed his castle as her own, saved a crap ton of enslaved elves, and brought her boyfriend back to life like twice. All in the stretch of a month or so. So it’s safe to say that she is the bestest character in all of Middle Earth.