The atmosphere inside was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, and the scale and composition of the space is overwhelming. Once inside I didn’t want to leave. Garan was practically deserted and for some time I was the only person inside the pagoda, there was no one even collecting the entrance donations. It was so silent. Incense. 

At some point a couple entered and the lady sat down on the bench next to me. They left after 5-10 minutes. I spent well over 30 minutes inside.

Konpon Daito

dusk over my last night in kyoto.

the past few years have been difficult. they’ve been difficult financially and personally i’ve struggled with isolation anxiety perfectionism and self harm. i’ve been worked and worked to the point of exhaustion, in the true meaning of the word, for what seemed like a thankless payoff. more a slap across the face, than a pat on the back. now i realise that is not so.

i realise now i have things to look forward to. i can see things now, i can plan them, i can work towards them. i’m no longer forced to live on such a day-by-day basis. my head is a bit clearer. i feel a bit more full. a little less empty.

i’m hopeful. :)