joys of work

Four rich fathers go golfing.

One of them stays behind to pay the bill and the other three proceed to the first hole. While golfing, the three fathers start bragging about their sons.

The first father says, “I am very proud of my son Arthur; he is my pride and joy. He started working at a very successful company at the bottom of the barrel and now he is at the top!  He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes Benz for his birthday.”

The second fathers says, “My son Ivan is also my pride and joy, I am very proud of him. He went to flight school to become a pilot and managed to become a partner in the company where he now owns the majority of the assets. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.”

The third father says, “Well, well, well - congratulations! My son, Ludwig, is also my pride and joy and is also very rich. He became an engineer. He started his own construction company and became very successful and a multimillionaire. He built a mansion especially for his best friend.”

Then the fourth father catches up and they ask him how his son is doing.

The fourth father replies, "Oh, my son Alfred is gay and he makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.”

The three friends shake their heads and say, “What a shame, you must be so unhappy! How tragic.”

The fourth father replies with a bright smile, “Oh no, I am not ashamed at all! Alfred is my son and I love him just as well; he’s my pride and joy. And he is much loved by his friends too. Did you know that his birthday just passed and the other day he received a Mercedes Benz, a brand new jet and a huge mansion from his three suitors?”

10

David Tennant on working with the later Doctor Who Companions (and Doctors) - from the Raleigh Wizard World Comic Con - March 2015

[ x ]

A big ol’ crossover piece I’ve been planning for nearly over a month! Four series in one! Approximately 24 characters! This was a joy to work on! :D

DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION!!! Please and thank you!

3

 Yixing apparently mistook “arrogant” for “cute” ( ´ ω ` )

Something There

Overview: Four years have passed since the war and you and Draco are now soon to be married. But as his insecurities catch up to him, he begins to wonder why someone like you would ever want to be with a former Death Eater like him. For who could ever learn to love a beast?

Word Count: About 1,400.

Warning(s): Some fluffy fluff.

Note: Draco x Reader Beauty and the Beast retelling loosely based off of “Something There” (see below).


Draco watched as you twirled around the kitchen of the Malfoy Manor, a sterling silver spoon in hand. In a cozy robe and pajamas, he thought you were quite a sight. His favorite sight in the world, nevertheless.

“One more week,” you sang. “That’s seven more days until we’re married.” After placing your dishes in the sink, you sat down at the dining table next to Draco. “Can you imagine?”

“Seeing as we already live together,” said he, gesturing to the vast interior of the manor, “I quite easily can.”

You nudged him with your elbow. “It’s still not the same. Soon, we’ll be Mr. and Mrs. Draco Malfoy.” You paused. “Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

Although he replied with a nod, Draco couldn’t help but frown at the sound of his last name. What was once a word he flaunted about and held to the highest esteem had turned into a scarlet letter after the Second Wizarding War.

He furrowed his eyebrows, dragging his spoon along the rim of his bowl. Soon, you would bear the name Malfoy. Malfoy. A name tarnished and sent to Azkaban and back as nothing more than a patch on his parents’ clothing.

And the more he thought about it, the more Draco realized that wasn’t a burden he wanted to share with you.
__________

A day passed and Draco still had an unsettling feeling in his stomach. It wasn’t uncommon for him to wear long-sleeved shirts, but now he could hardly bare glancing at his Dark Mark.

Is this what being a Malfoy meant?

“Draco,” you said, climbing into the bed as you stared at his back, “what’s the matter?”

He tucked his hand under a pillow. “Nothing, love. Just tired, is all.”

“I don’t believe you.” He felt the mattress shift ever so slightly as you drew nearer to him. “Before all else, Draco, I am your friend. Before being your fiancée, your girlfriend, your anything– I’m still just your best friend.” You peered over at him, his eyes focused on the wall. “So why on earth would you expect me to believe that lie?”

Sighing, Draco turned on his other side to face you, propping himself up on his arm. He noticed the way you scrunched your nose in concern, a wrinkle appearing between your eyebrows.

“Please, tell me what’s wrong, babe,” you pleaded. Your face softened as you examined his tired eyes, bringing your hand to brush against the cold skin of his face. “Is it the wedding? Are we going into this too soon?”

“No, of course not. It’s not–” He took a deep breath, unsure of what he wanted to say. Draco captured your hand in his, pulling it near his chest. He stroked the calloused pad of his thumb against your knuckles absentmindedly. “If I had to describe you in one word, it would be perfection.”

You quirked an eyebrow, unsure of how to react. “I’m no where near perfect, but– Don’t try to change the subject.”

He let out an indignant chuckle. “I wasn’t finished. I only meant…Just look at yourself and then look at me.”

“I see a witch and a wizard.”

“Funny,” said Draco with a straight face. “But really look. Because when I look at you, I see a compassionate, intelligent woman who fights for what’s right.” His eyes darted to his clothed forearm, the black mark almost visible through his white night shirt. “When I look at myself, I see is a monster. A beast. A coward, at best.”

You stayed silent, Draco’s hand still in yours. “I think your perception is tainted,” you said, withdrawing your hand from his to gently push back at his sleeve. He caught sight of a sliver of his Dark Mark, causing him to wince. Draco saw you reaching for a black marker next to your journal on the nightstand.

You uncapped it, taking hold of his hand.

“What are you–”

You silenced him with a brief kiss on the lips. You sat up and moved his arm onto your lap. “When I see you, Draco, I see someone who shouldn’t be defined by their mistakes.”

Keep reading

Sometimes when I am editing, I have to wonder if other Brits go through the same disconnect that happens when a US writer refers to women’s underwear as “panties”. 

It’s especially jarring when I read it in fic meant to be set in the UK, and I just know the words “take your panties off” just wouldn’t fly, especially in Scots. Knickers, yes, and even briefs and drawers. But panties, not so much.

Like I know it’s in our vernacular too, and maybe I’m just showing my age (what do I know what the kids are saying these days, old thing that I apparently am), but panties just has such a juvenile and patronizing quality to it that the word just makes me want to shrink in on myself. I dunno, maybe it’s just me being to finicky. Which I suppose is kind of the point when you hire me to make accurate cultural edits like Brit Eye for the Yankie but whatever, I feel certain in telling you the word “panties” would not have been used in 17th century Scotland.

Although if you want to tell someone not to get their pantaloons in a twist, I’m 100% here for this.

Something domestic

Sketch commission for @sozdanie-gryazi-eternal​, related to their fic The Practice of Compassion!
Art blog: questionartbox
[Commission Info] [Ko-Fi] [Society6]

LIMITED EDITION: BLACKLIGHT JOURNAL 3 GIVEAWAY

I’ve been contemplating this a lot for a little while now, and I’ve finally decided that I’m going to go through with it! I’m going through with giving away a copy of the limited edition Journal 3 (blacklight), due to the celebration of all you lovely people out there who follow my blog (all 13k+ of you! Thank you so much!), and just the fandom in general for being fantastic! And I know that many are really wanting to have a copy, but the price is really high to buy one. So, I thought: why not give one to a fellow faller for free and bring some joy?

I’m still working out some stuff (I have a copy pre-ordered already since October/November, but I’m not sure if changing addresses and all will make me lose the pre-order so I may have to re-send the journal out to the winner. Which I probably will just stick with that since it’s gonna be a while before I announce the winner of the giveaway. And who knows if there will be copies left to order by then. But that’ll just let me make sure the journals in a good condition before I send it back out, I guess?).

Rules:

• You must reblog to enter! You can reblog up to 5 times, and please be courteous of your followers! (No likes will count, sorry. Reblogs only.)

1 (ONE) winner will be selected for the giveaway. Just one, and no more.

• At the moment I will only be shipping the journal to residents in either the US or Canada, due to high shipping costs (especially since this journal will weigh more, it’ll definitely cost more to ship out of the country…but things may change in the future, as you have over a month to enter the giveaway.) I’m sorry, but I’ll already be spending so much on the journal, and with shipping it’ll be even more (especially as a college student who should be saving their money for tuition…but I really want to give away a copy!)

• Giveaway ends on March 31st, 2017 at 7:59 pm EST.

• Winner will be chosen by a random number generator on after March 31st, 2017 at 8:00 pm EST. I will be announcing the winner sometime afterwards (no later than April 1st due to conflicting plans). So again, you’ll have until 7:59 pm EST on the 31st to get your entries in!

Winner MUST be 18+, or must have parent permission to give me your address so the journal can be sent to you.

• You don’t have to follow me, but it’s encouraged. I’m a blog with Gravity Falls content, so feel free to follow if you want to!

• If you’re not entering and just want to signal boost, feel free to tag your reblog with #no entry and you will not be entered. Though if you want to enter for someone else that’s fine — just make sure they’re fine with giving me their address!

Winner will have 48 hours to answer back. If no reply, I will pick another winner.

friendly-neighborhood-hufflepuff  asked:

Hi! I'm very curious as to what Hunger Pains actually is. I know it's a book but as far as I know it's Hunky Dory here's some very nice plot, let's get down to business TO DEFEAT.. THE HU- I mean- ANYWAYS I know next to nothing about your book and I have a Need To Know Things.

Hunger Pangs (don’t worry, my husband calls it Pains all the time and I have the draft manuscript On. My. Wall.) was a shit post written just over a year ago after @jeneelestrange goaded me into it.

(source)

If you go through my tags #Hunger Pangs and #the vampire werewolf thing, you will finds lots and lots of meta and the occasional snippet of fiction. Some of it is very NSFW, and has been marked as such. I hope to get most of that archived on Ao3 at some point for easier perusal, I just haven’t had the time yet.

I will request that you be careful when typing #Hunger Pangs into the tumblr search function, as the tag is unfortunately used predominantly by eating disorder blogs, often ones not aimed towards recovery. This is something I was not aware of at the time when I started tagging the book and I’ve since started using HPangs (also Phangs) more often and am working my way back through the tags to fix this. If you wish to look at things pertaining only to my work through that tag, the url link is here: https://thebibliosphere.tumblr.com/tagged/hunger%20pangs

By request there is going to be two versions of the book, one with kink, and one without for those who prefer more fluff than smut in their reading repertoire. This is something I plan to do for all my future novels as well for those who are interested in my work, but don’t necessarily want to read about kink. 

The whole thing was supposed to be me just flipping tropes on their head for funsies, with the original draft intended to be a short 10k satire of the paranormal romance trope where Totally-Average-Girl gets sucked into a magical world and becomes the heated love interest of two usually “dominant” supernatural males and a toxic love triangle ensues (among other things). It was a trope I had to work with a lot in the industry as an editor, and became somewhat of a pet peeve of mine. So much so that somewhere along the line this fun little satire turned into a full 60k+ manuscript with happy, healthy polyamory instead, where nobody dies. Because that is also a trope in bi poly romance novels that can fuck right the fuck off as well. I mean, one of them’s already kinda technically dead?? But he’s fine with it.

The focus is on three main characters, a vampire called Vlad, a werewolf Nathan, and a being of as of yet undisclosed species who goes by the name of Ursula, and how they are brought together in a fantasy AU regency styled world torn apart by war and prejudice. If Game of Thrones ascribes to the idea that the world is dark and full of terrors, Hunger Pangs is the weird cryptid fancier asking where you can find them and are they looking to date anyone right now.

It’s ultimately a story of struggle, betrayal and power. But above all else Hunger Pangs is about love, romantic or otherwise, and the lengths people will go to in order to protect what is good and right in the world. It’s love as an act of bravery and defiance. And also punching fascists with your werewolf boyfriend, but that was honestly just a happy narrative coincidence that happened to coincide with the absolute shit show 2017 has turned out to be. 

It’s heavy on puns, satirical commentary and at times, moments of outright defiance.

Author friends who have read the raw manuscript have described it as being, “like reading the queer-goth-punk love child of Terry Pratchett and the Addams Family filled with hope and rage” and honestly I’ve never been more proud or terrified of anything I’ve ever done in my entire life.

I’m hoping to have the pre-order on Amazon up by the end of October, with full release planned for sometime around Christmas, provided my health holds out and I don’t end up needing more emergency surgery. So far the odds are looking good :)

The artwork for the covers has been designed by our very own @whales-and-witchcraft/ @umicorms and is just, I have no words for how much I love it. I can’t wait to share it with all of you. I’m so excited.

Terrified. 

But excited.