Okay, so I love the idea of Stan and Ford’s fusion being super happy and joyful and giddy and a total smirky show of, but imagine the fucking BAGGAGE that fusion would carry.
People knowing how smart Stan and Ford are and asking them questions which their fusion would know right off the bat, but then Stan’s part of the fusion would pause. Causing the fusion to glitch and make words like, “I don’t know, I ain’t no smart guy,” and, “i could be wrong,” and, “i’m not the right person to ask” and suddenly there are two voices talking back and forth, one of them becoming self the destructive and the other trying to pull the other back as the fusion begins to split.
Then you have Ford. He’s excited and happy to be this close to his brother and experience something so magical, but then he sees the way someone stares at him. And then he looks down at himself. And he begins to panic because he had more than just six fingers now. He has four arms. He’s almost as tall as a mountain. He’s more than a freak now. He’s a monster. Soon the despair and dread would take over and their fusion would crumble apart and he wouldn’t dare do such a thing ever again. No matter how much his soul craves to be a single entity with Stan.
I actually got up early-ish to go for my walk before the sun got to it’s zenith, but, the best laid plans of mice and men, etc. Ended up leaving around 11 and ending after 12. Not the hottest part of the day, but certainly not the coolest, either.
Anyway, was a good walk, 100% on sidewalk/pavement, I didn’t go down to the beach. Just didn’t feel like filling my shoes up with sand today.
My mantra for today was: “Food nourishes my healthy, fit body. Exercise fules my joyful soul.” It needs some work to get it to flow better. I was still working on re-wording it when I got home, so I’ll have to pick it up again next time and see if I can get it so it’s a good, strong mantra.
I’ve been really working on my ‘stories’ lately, and one of them is about food and not using it as an emotional crutch or stress-reliever, but rather as nourishment for my body, while using exercise to lift my spirits, so that was where I was going with that mantra.
Oh, and the last 2 pictures are ‘sea grapes’. Wine, anyone?
ghhhhhh hh tired of trying very hard to do small simple things and not succeeding, there is a lot of silent aggression against something (most probably myself maybe possibly a certain person) in me and the cause of it is piled up hatred against most probably myself maybe a certain person and it never goes away just flows quietly next to everything i am ever joyful about, and mmmmm i know my problem is suppressing my very ugly emotions and i know that is unhealthy and is not going to make them disappear and i also know the salvation would be to stop denying them until it’s no longer possible through talking about it and i cannot do that my body and brain is not programmed to be able to let the ugliness out and not create more because i had allowed myself to let them out and therefore feel discouraged to do so again which causes for the suppressing to continue it’s a cycle like everything else seems to be, ghhhhhhhh
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This is how I know my capacity for processing sorrow is fucking borked as shit like half the notes on that tundra headcanon are WOW THIS IS SO SAD I’M GONNA CRY but like. I don’t see that as being sad at all. I don’t see it as being particularly joyful either, it’s just. Death sure does happen I bet this is one way folks deal with it.
Let’s talk about Corin for a sec. That little dude who was so relieved when he found out he wasn’t going to be a King because he just wanted to have fun and live lot of adventures. He literally punched someone and nearly went to jail because someone insulted Susan (“A boy in the street made a beastly joke about Queen Susan, so I knocked him down.”). He went into a battle even though his father forbid him to. Also everyone loves him. Edmund and Susan basically adopted the kid. The kid just wanna fight all the time
he’s so precious