People are pissed that Warped isn’t featuring any of the usual main stage bands this year, but I’m actually kind of stoked? This is one of the most eclectic and heavy lineups I’ve seen in a while and I’ve heard some of the side stage bands are actually pretty banging. Change is good guys.

Ways to arrive

Early; ridiculously; in a palanquin; fabulously; gimungously; upon the shoulders of giants; perched upon the gilded horns of a tame dilemma; at the head of an army; when you are least looked for; with a pen and a complaint; winched from the heavens by angelic stagehands; in sunglasses, under the shadow of a storm; by jumping out of a cake; with biscuits; with guns; with a map; via the longest possible feasible route; still blinking from the unexpected speed of the journey; by falling off an eagle; by falling off a log; in leather; innocently; under cover of darkness; in the nick of time; on skis; late (temporally); late (deceased).