journey to self realization

One of the key battlegrounds in the fight for LGBT rights is the local political arena. 

This week, five Mayors from across the United States join us for a Tumblr Issue Time to answer your questions on the ways that they’re promoting and protecting LGBT rights in their cities. 

ASK THEM A QUESTION!

Mayor Ed Lee • San Francisco, CA

The first Chinese-American mayor in the history of San Francisco, Edwin M. Lee is one of the founding members of Mayors Against Discrimination (MAD). In 2016, Mayor Lee appointed Theresa Sparks as the Mayor’s Senior Advisor on Transgender Initiatives, becoming the first city in the nation to have a position dedicated to advancing the rights of and creating policies for the transgender community.

Mayor Jess Herbst • New Hope, TX

Jess Herbst is the mayor of New Hope, Texas and the first openly transgender mayor in Texas history. A lifelong Texan, Herbst has called New Hope her home for nearly 20 years and served on town council for several years, beginning in 2003. She publicly announced that she is transgender in January 2017 following a long journey of self-realization and is a proud member of Mayors Against LGBT Discrimination.

Mayor Jorge Elorza • Providence, RI

Mayor Jorge O. Elorza was born in Providence and grew up in the city’s West End In 2010, he was appointed to the Providence Housing Court, where he served until 2013. Mayor Elorza was elected as Providence’s 38th Mayor and took office in 2015 and is focused on turning Providence around by creating economic opportunity for all, public services that work for everyone and innovative, ethical City government.

Mayor John Dennis • West Lafayette, IN

Mayor Dennis was born in Japan and moved to West Lafayette with his family as a young child, where he was raised and educated.  Upon graduation from Indiana State University, where he received his bachelor and master degrees, Mayor Dennis worked for a period of time in California, where he met his wife Mary.  Mayor Dennis, upon his return to West Lafayette, joined the Lafayette Police Department, staying with LPD for 23 years, retiring as Deputy Chief of Police.

Mayor William Peduto • Pittsburgh, PA

Mayor Peduto took office as Pittsburgh’s 60th Mayor in January of 2014. One of his first orders of business as Mayor was to sign on to the Mayors for Freedom to Marry campaign and Why Marriage Matters Pennsylvania. Mayor Peduto has formed an LGBTQIA+ Task Force, created the position of LGBTQIA+ Liaison within the Pittsburgh Bureau of Police, been an active member of Mayors Against LGBT Discrimination, and celebrated marriage equality following the SCOTUS decision on same sex marriage by uniting 19 same sex couples during a group wedding ceremony during Pittsburgh PRIDE. 

Our panel of Mayors will begin answering your questions on Tuesday April 11. 

ASK THEM A QUESTION!

anonymous asked:

Can you do a top 5 Haikyuu characters with the saddest or emotional backstory? The ones that really pulled at your heart strings and made want to cuddle them forever? At least so far in the story. Thanks!

Top 5 tragic (or not so tragic) backstories of haikyuu characters?

1. Oikawa. His backstory taught me a lesson that will stay forever with me. It taught me that’s it’s ok to be afraid, that’s it’s natural to feel despair when you’ve always been on top and suddenly other people start to catch up on you. It taught me that the only way to go on is to keep fighting. It taught me that’s ok to fail, but never to give up. Oikawa is such an inspiring character who went through so much, and hides everything behind his perfect facade. His backstory of struggles and his self awareness journey towards the realization that he’s not a genius, that being surpassed is not a possibility but it’s already his reality made him incredibly human and gave his character a force to be reckoned with. He will never stop trying to make the flower of his talent bloom again, again and again. It made me feel…so much. I love Oikawa, in all his fragile, flawed, indomitable self (ಥ﹏ಥ)

2. Tendou. *slams fist on the wall* WHO DARED TO HURT MY BABY TENDOU??? His flashback broke my heart in so many pieces. Those kids were so mean to him, calling him a monster just because he was different? He was just a little child who wanted to have fun and play volleyball…I’m so proud of how he turned his pain into his ultimate weapon (and kicked so many asses with it)

Originally posted by taejiwoo

3. Kageyama. More than his backstory as a kid, what hurt me was his time in junior high. When he arrived to Karasuno, Kageyama was like a hurt wild animal, so aggressive just because he was trying to desperately protect himself. He never had a true supportive team and was convinced that he always had to do everything by himself. He was ostracized, made fun of and abandoned, by his teammates and by the only guidance he ever looked up to. And now here we have him, our beautiful blueberry who learned to trust and to rely on others and who’s constantly improving to be the best setter possible, to his favorite spiker and to the rest of the team. He’s finally home, and that’s beautiful

Originally posted by not-haikyuu

4. Tsukishima. Eh, another pretty painful one that explained us why the Tsukki that we know is like he is. The contrast between his little self and his older self is heartbreaking. He was a still cocky but very happy little kid…who was lied to all that time. The sport that his beloved brother introduced him to now is just a constant reminder of the pain and anger he suffered. But still, he kept playing, even if…“It’s just a club”. These were all the elements we needed to appreciate the moment he was hooked on volleyball to the fullest :’) I’m so proud of Tsukki, his character development is one of my favorites.  

Originally posted by juminss

5. Ushijima. “The fact that he’s different from other people, will probably end up being his strength”. This was just a calming and comforting backstory, I loved Ushijima’s dad so much, he was really sweet. First of all, refusing to correct his left handiness was an incredible gesture of love (as a left-handed person, I relate so much), he never pressured him to become a volleyball player, and yet Ushijima did, he joined a strong team, he faced so many opponents that made him stronger, became the ace his father admired so much, he liked volleyball, and he made his dad happy. This is such an perfect (and unexpected) backstory for him. 

Originally posted by vyctornikiforov

That being said, I’m dying everyday waiting for Bokuto’s backstory. I’m ready for the pain Furudate, slay me. 

Thank you for your message!

Ask me my top 5 things!

#LastYoungRenegade - out July 2nd, 2017

Who is the Last Young Renegade?

After all this time writing music, playing in a band- checking moment after moment off the bucket list- collecting mistakes, making memories, I wondered what it might be like to write about myself if I wasn’t the one standing in my shoes. Who am I from the other side of the mirror?

I tried to change perspective in my approach to writing and center in on all of the different versions of me that other people might have met over the years, through the ups and the downs, in the public eye and behind closed doors. Would I like this person? Do I like this person? Do I even recognize this person anymore?

I realized that there’s a lot more to me than I’m usually ready to acknowledge, both good and bad. In that realization, I noticed a common thread. We are who we are, even when we try our hardest not to be.

It’s a challenge to accept it sometimes. I gave those other sides of me a persona, and a name– then came the stories like a flood. It was a way for me to confront demons without having to sit at the dinner table with them.

That’s the journey on this record: a story of self-realization. Of growing into your own skin through the eyes of someone watching it all unfold on the big screen, wearing a ‘Frankie Says Relax’ t-shirt. Like watching an old familiar movie, but suddenly you’re Marty McFly.

We tried a lot of new things on this album, all within the context of what we love so much about All Time Low– There’s no denying that we were binge watching Stranger Things at the time, while also reflecting on the loss of some of our favorite musicians; Prince, Bowie, George Michael… I think the influence comes through in the best ways. We all felt pulled to exciting and different places as we searched for inspiration, approaching something that’s become so familiar to us from a new direction.

I truly hope everyone listening enjoys this record as much as I do. It’s been an amazing journey.The album comes out June 2nd and will be available for pre-order on Friday, Feb 24th. We’ll also be posting some pre-order merch bundles, so stay tuned! Pre-order options will be up on alltimelow.com.

Tracklist
1.
Last Young Renegade
2. Drugs & Candy
3. Dirty Laundry
4. Good Times
5. Nice2KnoU
6. Life of the Party
7. Nightmares
8. Dark Side of Your Room
9. Ground Control (feat. Tegan and Sara)
10. AfterglowxoAlex

Who is the Last Young Renegade?
After all this time writing music, playing in a band- checking moment after moment off the bucket list- collecting mistakes, making memories, I wondered what it might be like to write about myself if I wasn’t the one standing in my shoes. Who am I from the other side of the mirror?

I tried to change perspective in my approach to writing and center in on all of the different versions of me that other people might have met over the years, through the ups and the downs, in the public eye and behind closed doors. Would I like this person? Do I like this person? Do I even recognize this person anymore?

I realized that there’s a lot more to me than I’m usually ready to acknowledge, both good and bad. In that realization, I noticed a common thread. We are who we are, even when we try our hardest not to be.

It’s a challenge to accept it sometimes. I gave those other sides of me a persona, and a name– then came the stories like a flood. It was a way for me to confront demons without having to sit at the dinner table with them.

That’s the journey on this record: a story of self-realization. Of growing into your own skin through the eyes of someone watching it all unfold on the big screen, wearing a ‘Frankie Says Relax’ t-shirt. Like watching an old familiar movie, but suddenly you’re Marty McFly.

We tried a lot of new things on this album, all within the context of what we love so much about All Time Low– There’s no denying that we were binge watching Stranger Things at the time, while also reflecting on the loss of some of our favorite musicians; Prince, Bowie, George Michael… I think the influence comes through in the best ways. We all felt pulled to exciting and different places as we searched for inspiration, approaching something that’s become so familiar to us from a new direction.

I truly hope everyone listening enjoys this record as much as I do. It’s been an amazing journey.

The album comes out June 2nd and will be available for pre-order on Friday, Feb 24th. We’ll also be posting some pre-order merch bundles, so stay tuned! Pre-order options will be up on alltimelow.com.

Tracklist

1. Last Young Renegade
2. Drugs & Candy
3. Dirty Laundry
4. Good Times
5. Nice2KnoU
6. Life of the Party
7. Nightmares
8. Dark Side of Your Room
9. Ground Control (feat. Tegan and Sara)
10. Afterglow

xo

Alex

Meditation is a good starting point, or even a little bit of contemplative reflection, asking questions like: Who am I without my name or form? What is my purpose if there is one? What do I want out of my life? What am I grateful for? Just a little bit of reflection like that starts you on the journey.
— 

Deepak Chopra

I wish to be a lot of things,

but above all,

I wish to be

well-read,

well-spoken,

well-traveled,

and well-loved.

- d.c.

Who is the Last Young Renegade?
After all this time writing music, playing in a band- checking moment
after moment off the bucket list- collecting mistakes, making
memories, I wondered what it might be like to write about myself if I
wasn’t the one standing in my shoes. Who am I from the other side of
the mirror?

I tried to change perspective in my approach to writing and center in
on all of the different versions of me that other people might have
met over the years, through the ups and the downs, in the public eye
and behind closed doors. Would I like this person? Do I like this
person? Do I even recognize this person anymore?

I realized that there’s a lot more to me than I’m usually ready to
acknowledge, both good and bad. In that realization, I noticed a
common thread. We are who we are, even when we try our hardest not to
be.

It’s a challenge to accept it sometimes. I gave those other sides of
me a persona, and a name– then came the stories like a flood. It was
a way for me to confront demons without having to sit at the dinner
table with them.

That’s the journey on this record: a story of self-realization. Of
growing into your own skin through the eyes of someone watching it all
unfold on the big screen, wearing a ‘Frankie Says Relax’ t-shirt. Like
watching an old familiar movie, but suddenly you’re Marty McFly.

We tried a lot of new things on this album, all within the context of
what we love so much about All Time Low– There’s no denying that we
were binge watching Stranger Things at the time, while also reflecting
on the loss of some of our favorite musicians; Prince, Bowie, George
Michael… I think the influence comes through in the best ways. We
all felt pulled to exciting and different places as we searched for
inspiration, approaching something that’s become so familiar to us
from a new direction.

I truly hope everyone listening enjoys this record as much as I do.
It’s been an amazing journey.

The album comes out June 2nd and will be available for pre-order on Friday, Feb 24th. We’ll
also be posting some pre-order merch bundles, so stay tuned!

xo

Alex

“Who is the Last Young Renegade?

After all this time writing music, playing in a band- checking moment after moment off the bucket list- collecting mistakes, making memories, I wondered what it might be like to write about myself if I wasn’t the one standing in my shoes. Who am I from the other side of the mirror?

I tried to change perspective in my approach to writing and center in on all of the different versions of me that other people might have met over the years, through the ups and the downs, in the public eye and behind closed doors. Would I like this person? Do I like this person? Do I even recognize this person anymore?

I realized that there’s a lot more to me than I’m usually ready to acknowledge, both good and bad. In that realization, I noticed a common thread. We are who we are, even when we try our hardest not to be.

It’s a challenge to accept it sometimes. I gave those other sides of me a persona, and a name– then came the stories like a flood. It was a way for me to confront demons without having to sit at the dinner table with them.

That’s the journey on this record: a story of self-realization. Of growing into your own skin through the eyes of someone watching it all unfold on the big screen, wearing a ‘Frankie Says Relax’ t-shirt. Like watching an old familiar movie, but suddenly you’re Marty McFly.

We tried a lot of new things on this album, all within the context of what we love so much about All Time Low– There’s no denying that we were binge watching Stranger Things at the time, while also reflecting on the loss of some of our favorite musicians; Prince, Bowie, George Michael… I think the influence comes through in the best ways. We all felt pulled to exciting and different places as we searched for inspiration, approaching something that’s become so familiar to us from a new direction.

I truly hope everyone listening enjoys this record as much as I do. It’s been an amazing journey.

The album comes out June 2nd and will be available for pre-order on Friday, Feb 24th. We’ll also be posting some pre-order merch bundles, so stay tuned. Pre-order options will be up on alltimelow.com.
xo

Alex”


instagram.com/alltimelow

All Time Low: Who is the Last Young Renegade?

After all this time writing music, playing in a band- checking moment after moment off the bucket list- collecting mistakes, making memories, I wondered what it might be like to write about myself if I wasn’t the one standing in my shoes. Who am I from the other side of the mirror?
I tried to change perspective in my approach to writing and center in on all of the different versions of me that other people might have met over the years, through the ups and the downs, in the public eye and behind closed doors. Would I like this person? Do I like this person? Do I even recognize this person anymore?

I realized that there’s a lot more to me than I’m usually ready to acknowledge, both good and bad. In that realization, I noticed a common thread. We are who we are, even when we try our hardest not to be.  It’s a challenge to accept it sometimes. I gave those other sides of me a persona, and a name– then came the stories like a flood. It was a way for me to confront demons without having to sit at the dinner table with them.

That’s the journey on this record: a story of self-realization. Of growing into your own skin through the eyes of someone watching it all unfold on the big screen, wearing a ‘Frankie Says Relax’ t-shirt. Like watching an old familiar movie, but suddenly you’re Marty McFly. We tried a lot of new things on this album, all within the context of what we love so much about All Time Low– There’s no denying that we were binge watching Stranger Things at the time, while also reflecting on the loss of some of our favorite musicians; Prince, Bowie, George Michael… I think the influence comes through in the best ways. We all felt pulled to exciting and different places as we searched for inspiration, approaching something that’s become so familiar to us from a new direction.

I truly hope everyone listening enjoys this record as much as I do. It’s been an amazing journey. The album comes out June 2nd and will be available for pre-order on Friday, Feb 24th. We’ll also be posting some pre-order merch bundles, so stay tuned! Pre-order options will be up on alltimelow.com.

Tracklist
1. Last Young Renegade
2. Drugs & Candy
3. Dirty Laundry
4. Good Times
5. Nice2KnoU
6. Life of the Party
7. Nightmares
8. Dark Side of Your Room
9. Ground Control (feat. Tegan and Sara)
10. Afterglow
xo
Alex”

“Peace, Love + Power” Weekly Writing Prompts

Cultivating Self Love and Acceptance & A Better Future

7th Aug-13th Aug = VENT. write down your breaking point. an event that happened that made you realize you needed to start your journey to self-love. 

14th Aug-20th Aug = LOVE LETTER TO ME. write a love letter to yourself: your mind, your body, your spirit. think about your favorite features, make it about what you like :) if you feel like you don’t like anything about yourself, think of a compliment that would make you smile. 

21st Aug-27th Aug = BOSS UP. what have you learned OR what are you going to do to make your life better in the future?

Katsuki Yuuri’s favourite move the triple axel and self-expression

Welcome to my first attempt of YOI meta-writing - this meta draws attention to Yuuri’s “favourite move” the triple axel, and his growth in mental strength and self-expression. Even half-dedicated fans are aware that Victor’s signature move is the quadruple flip as it’s been remarked several times in the series, Yuuri’s attempts of the quad flip signifies his blossoming relationship with his coach, soulmate and fiance Victor Nikiforov. This meta is about his performance of the triple axel, which in a way is to Yuuri the quad flip is to Victor. His performance of this jump correlates to his growing confidence in self-expression and assertion. Please be prepared that this won’t be a short meta, elaboration with screen maps from the show will be under the cut. Ready? On we go.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I feel like.. I'm the only straight Johnlock shipper in the world.. I mean obviously no one cares, but does that make me weird or something? Cause I'm a bit obsessed about it tbh..

Hey Nonny!

Absolutely not! I’m sure there are plenty of them, just I think it’s just a lot of them tend to not speak up a lot because they worry that they might be the “wrong” kind of shipper.. OR, which seems to be the most common case in this fandom, a lot of them THOUGHT they were straight until they became immersed in the fandom, found out that we’re so much more than just a fandom and actually a HUGE knowledge base for people, learned about forced heteronormativity and compulsory sexuality / identity norms, went on an incredible journey / crisis of self-discovery, and realized that maybe they’re not so straight after all (hi, hello!).

Listen, to me, if you’re in love with the idea of them being happy together for as long as they live, that you think their chemistry is perfect, and that they’re so disgustingly in love that your teeth rot, then you’re just as much a shipper as the rest of us <3

Movies and physical disability (updated)

Here are some movies that I’ve seen that adress the issue of physical disability on the plot. Though the list is very short, the idea of posting this is for you to make it longer with your own recommendations.

1. Les intouchables (2011) by Olivier Nakache and Éric Toledano.
French drama about the friendship between Philippe, who is rich and quadriplegic, and his stubborn assistant Driss. This movie is A-MAZING! It’s a must, disabled or not. The film won several awards and both starring actors are super hot, plus, “Philippe” is adorable. I fell in love with him, I wanna marry him and have french kids. (+ Loved the “ear joke” ).

2. Kiss me (2013)by Jeff Probst.
Drama about a girl, Zoe, who is diagnosed with scoliosis at 15 and is forced to wear a back brace. She falls in love with the father of the kids she babysits. It stars Emily Osment, for teenage fans. It’s kindof a teenage drama, but it sums pretty well the pressures on being disabled at that age. (+The plaster scene is gold! It was such a flashback for me that I shed a tear).

3. El bulto (1991)by Gabriel Retes Mello.

Mexican movie about Lauro, a journalist who returns from a coma after twenty years and struggles with recovery and adapting to the whole changes in his family, politics, ideology and culture. He starts a romance with Adela, a friend of the family who used to take care of him. This film is old but still awesome, though idk if you can find it with english subtitles. (+ I adore the scene when Adela shows naked to Lauro to make love to him and he is so overwhelmed that he falls off the wheelchair).

4. The Brooke Ellison Story (2004) by Christopher Reeve (YES! Superman)
It’s the story of this girl who was the first quadriplegic to graduate from Harvard (in science, I think). It has a pinch of inspiration bullshit, but it’s also rough as it’s so true. (+Looking for the data, I found that Brooke Ellison ran for U.S. State Senate in 2006 :O And the prom scene made me cry like a lady).

There’s a Stephen Hawking movie starred by Benedict Cumberbatch, but I can’t recommend it as I haven’t seen it.

Now it’s your turn!

hnppandme suggests:

5. Morgan (2012) by Michael Akers

About a recently paralysed cyclist coming to terms with his disability and finding love. He is also gay but to be honest, it doesn’t make much difference to the plot apart from the fact that the love interest is male. I love that it is not the main plot and just something else added in. Independent movie that won some awards. You can watch it here.

6. Avatar (2009) by James Cameron

(My favourite film ever) “A paraplegic Marine dispatched to the moon Pandora on a unique mission becomes torn between following his orders and protecting the world he feels is his home.” I love it so much because the fact he is in a wheelchair has no impact on the plot; it doesn’t matter its just a thing that happens. It still deals with his reaction to it though.

7. Ondine (2009) by Neil Jordan

“This is an Irish tale of romance and tragedy set on the life of a fisherman by the name of Ciracuse. Here, rescues a woman from the sea. However, she begs him not to expose. So, he keeps her at a secret hideout. The man is stuck between the Ondine and his drunkard wife and their paths intertwine.” I don’t remember that much about it but Cirscuse’s daughter Ondine uses a wheelchair and is waiting for a kidney or liver transplant. (I can’t remember which!) It’s weird but it has a nice ending. It’s also the same again, the fact that she uses a wheelchair has no impact on the plot but the difficulties for her family are dealt with a bit.

8. How to Train Your Dragon (2010) & How to Train Your Dragon 2 (2014)

(These are kids films but I really like them!) Set in the mythical world of burly Vikings and wild dragons, and based on the book by Cressida Cowell, this action comedy tells the story of Hiccup, a Viking teenager who doesn’t exactly fit in with his tribe’s longstanding tradition of heroic dragon slayers. Hiccup’s world is turned upside down when he encounters a dragon that challenges him and his fellow Vikings to see the world from an entirely different point of view. *spoilers for the first film* Right at the end of the first one, Hiccup loses a leg and uses a prosthetic. He continues to use the prosthetic in the second film. I love the first one and hope the second will be just as good! One of the other characters has one hand and the dragon is also disabled (for most of the first film). Hiccup having one leg also has no impact on the plot. (you can see a running theme here!) There’s also a TV series with these but I don’t know if he has one leg in them or not. I’ve got the DVDs to find out! He does in a short film in the series too.

9. X-Men Franchise

Superhero films. Professor Charles Xavier is in a wheelchair. I’m not sure how many of the films and they’re not in a chronological order. I’ve never seen them so I can’t comment on what the portrayal/whatever was like.

10. Hawking (2004) by Philip Martin

I have seen this and can recommend it. It’s Benedict Cumberbatch’s first leading role and he did very well considering how hard this would have been to play. It’s about Stephen Hawking around the time he got diagnosed with motor neurone disease. It has the decline which it really important as I never see gradual declines anywhere in films. You can tell it’s a bit dramatised compared to what actually happened to him but if you read Stephen Hawking’s accounts of the time, some parts make it directly into the film. It was a TV movie but can be found online and on youtube because on Benedict. It’s also now available to buy on DVD on amazon.

11. Forrest Gump (1994) by Robert Zemeckis

“This Academy Award winner for Best Picture stars Tom Hanks as the good hearted, but painfully slow Forrest Gump, a man who manages to somehow be involved with almost every major event in history during the last half of the 20th Century. Spanning the course of his life, the story follows him as he grows from a weak child to a war hero to a shrimp boat captain, all the while pining for the love of his childhood friend Jenny, played by Robin Wright.” *Spoilers* Lieutenant Dan loses his legs in Vietnam and that is dealt with a fair bit. He is in the film a fair bit and in my essays on the film I classed him as a main character. You might also consider Forrest as being mentally disabled. This really is a fantastic film and if you haven’t seen it go and watch it now!

12. The Elephant Man (1980) by David Lynch

"A Victorian surgeon rescues a heavily disfigured man who is mistreated while scraping a living as a side-show freak. Behind his monstrous facade, there is revealed a person of intelligence and sensitivity.” (Not seen the whole thing myself so can’t comment but I think it’s supposed to be pretty good. It’s also interesting for how people with disabilities were treated in Victorian times.

13. My Left Foot (1989) by Jim Sheridan

“Christy Brown, born with cerebral palsy, learns to paint and write with his only controllable limb - his left foot.” Interesting for comparing then and now etc. Also how a family with very limited income dealt with it.

14. Quid Pro Quo (2008) by Carlos Brooks

“A semi-paralyzed radio reporter is sent out to investigate a story that leads him into an odd subculture and on a journey of disturbing self-realization” All I can say is that it’s quite interesting but very weird. The ending is especially weird.

15. The Fault in Our Stars (2014) by Josh Boone

For the Book: “Despite the tumor-shrinking medical miracle that has bought her a few years, Hazel has never been anything but terminal, her final chapter inscribed upon diagnosis. But when a gorgeous plot twist named Augustus Waters suddenly appears at Cancer Kid Support Group, Hazel’s story is about to be completely rewritten.” I love the book of this and hope the film will be just as good. Augustus Waters has one leg and there are other characters with varying physical disabilities. The issue of physical disability is dealt with really well in the book and especially a bit at an airport which I think is fantastic (I really hope it’s in the film). I can definitely recommend the book and I hope I’ll be able to recommend the film.

That’s all I can think of at the moment. I’m sure I know more though. There’s a new Julia Roberts one where she’s in a wheelchair but I have no idea what it’s about or what it’s called. My Sister’s Keeper maybe counts but it’s more dying and morals than disability but the book is much better.