I’m pretty sure that most residents of the UK with a TV license have watched ‘Don’t Tell the Bride’ at least once in their lives. It’s a bit of a guilty pleasure for the nation. I personally prefer ‘Say Yes to the Dress’ when it comes to trashy wedding-based reality shows, but each to their own.
On this show, there are two types of episodes: ones in which the groom gets the wedding absolutely SPOT ON, and ones where he just doesn’t. There are also two types of these wedding disaster episodes. There’s the ones where the husband-to-be blows all of the money he was given on a ridiculously expensive stag do, leaving only £50 and a spare tyre for the wedding itself, and then there are the sensible ones who simply don’t have the same tastes as their fiancée.
I pity these men, I truly do, because it’s not their fault. Chances are, unless they were heavily involved in the wedding planning process before the show, they don’t have a clue what they’re doing. They haven’t grown up being told that they’re going to get married some day and it has to be perfect. Their wives probably grew up being taught that. They probably played weddings in the playground and leafed through wedding magazines from a young age because that’s what society expects them to do. traditional gender roles taught men to seek success and a job, and women to seek a home and a husband. These gender roles are being destroyed piece by piece but they still remain as shadows. Shadows like the clueless grooms on our reality TV shows.
So don’t yell at the groom when he buys the wrong dress or gets the wrong type of DJ. He’s trying his hardest in a society that never showed him how to wedding plan because it was ‘too feminine’. This is a feminist issue. Men being comfortable with feminine activities is a small but necessary step to equality. So enjoy your trashy wedding shows, but don’t get too angry at the poor groom.
Unless of course he’s the first type of disaster episode groom. He deserves to be yelled at. A lot.