jounral

Workout Log 4-12-17

Oh, man. I need new compression pants. They kept wanting to fall down this morning and it turns out it’s really hard to pull your pants up while running on a treadmill. I have pants that fit and all, but I really, really like running in these.

So, you’ve probably already figured out I did cardio this morning. I’m probably just going to make this a cardio-heavy week because come tomorrow we’re going to be gearing up to leave state anyway and head to my sister’s house for the holiday weekend. Our gym doesn’t participate in Indiana, so I’m just going to be running on the riverwalk by my mom’s house if it’s not too flooded. 

I don’t have anything major to really report this morning. 5 mph pace, 7 mph bursts; yadda, yadda. 

Playlist Picks: Another contender for “it’s catchy, sue me” is Britney Spear’s Toxic. Every time you hear that guitar riff and that string sting it’s “oh, yeah.” Maybe this is a bit too much of a ballad for a workout, but I adore this song which is why I don’t care it’s a moderate tempo. Breaking Benjamin’s Forget It. I feel like they were pretty big when I was still in high school, and I still overall really enjoy the album this was one.

Sweaty, barely lit gym selfie. My hair looks like crap and I actually love that. 

3

My collection of art journal type books (as of December 2016) is officially too big for a stack, they had to be laid down. 

Workout Log 4-1-17

So, my boyfriend and I are very different about waking up. I springboard out of bed and he’s “a minute, a minute, in a few minutes, a minute, a minute.” 

It’s not a big deal today because it’s Saturday, and my experience tells me more people are like him than like me anyway–but. I guess it sort of has been my pet peeve my entire life because I come from a long line of “be ready at 10 AM” people who don’t even start laying their clothes out until like–noon. I’m all over here like “dude, that wasn’t the deal.” I WANNA GO TO THE GYM.

And, we got there. Today was leg day! I had to skip last week so–woohoo! I didn’t lose any lifts, either.

Treadmill Warm-up 10 minutes
Lunges 3 x 12
Sumo Squats w/ dumbbell: 20 lbs 3 x 12
Calve Raises w/ dumbbells 20 lbs 3 x 12
Squats w/ dumbbells 20 lbs 3 x 12
Bridges w/  dumbbells 20 lbs 3 x 12
Leg Press 150 lbs 3 x 12
Hip Abduction 85 lbs 3 x 12 (+15)
Hip Adduction 70 lbs 3 x 12
Leg Curl 70 lbs 3 x 12 
Leg Extension 60 lbs 3 x 12
Stretch/Walk 10 minutes

Playlist Picks: I like themes, and today’s theme is “my school bus ride CD player binges circa 2005.” I have Green Day’s Jesus of Suburbia and Evanescence’s My Last Breath.

On another note, the 1 month push up challenge is complete! Thinking of squats this month! 

Boost

June 16th 2017

2:47pm

Dr. McHottie came in today and said some things that weren’t so great. Namely the “That’s interesting…” when the nurses told him that I was giving tattoo girl a massage. We’re not allowed to go into each others “sleeping spaces”

However, he did say something good.

He, with his lovely brunette student, asked why I “keep standing” and “stretching” and all of that… I explained how I want my weight gain to be intrinsically motivated, y’feel? Not b/c I need to “get a pass” Y’know? Get real fam. Get. Real. Also, how to some extent it may be the eating disorder voice.

Anyways, he said something along the lines of “You can more than one direction inside of you. I want to get better, meh, and no I want to recover. The question is which one will receive your motivation, effort, energy, action? Which one is more important to you?”

It wasn’t that exactly, but it was something along those lines. Something that motivated me to sit down, and not stand, because it’s an experiment and getting better is important to me. 

Also, the dietitian came in and I am being boosted up. BOOSTED UP. For those of you that diddly don’t know, Boost is this ridiculous energy drink we consume if we can’t finish our foods here on the unit. I say it’s ridiculous because I’m pretty sure it has High Fructose Corn Syrup in it, which is pretty much devil tears according to everyone. It has three flavors, chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla but I think a more appropriate label would be awful, awfuller, and awfullest. I think it bugs be too because this is a definite path to weight gain… which is a real bummer but what can you do am I right? Or am I right?

Anyways, I was weighed this morning. Dr. McHottie wanted another weight, and I suppose I’m up, but I’m not “that up” and ya. That’s it pretty much. I need to gain.

I jousted for a bit around “Why a BMI of 20?” (It’s ideal for cognitive processing of therapy) and “How do you know I’m not at my set point?” (Blood sugar, no period, other factors. I thought maybe she would say “You don’t look it” but the dietitian didn’t probably because the staff here are trained in these things.) Anyways, boom bam stan. When the dietitian pointed out I had no trouble MAXING out my meal plan, but I was being wibbly nibbly about the Boost, and I couldn’t argue with the incongruities of my discriminatory attitudes towards calories and my drive to get better so I was like “Fahn.”

Long story short- I’m going to choose Vanilla. 

Transcript: (Hey there, everyone! I mentioned a few days ago that on my next leg day workout, I would like to challenge myself to leg press the amount of weight I’ve lost, which is 170 lbs. The reason I wanted to do this is because, with every step in my day to day life, I used to carry 170 lbs on my body. You can imagine how difficult and taxing that would be over the course of a day. And, I’m here to report to you that it was actually surprisingly easy. Not in a smug, “Meh, that was so simple!” But, I was genuinely surprised that I was able to lift more than I thought I could. I’m not repping at that much; I’ve been repping at 130. What I really do think is this means I can do more on my leg days from now on, and maybe it won’t be too taxing. At least not as taxing on my body now as it was back then. Anyway, that’s what I came to tell you here today. Have a great day, have a great weekend. Just have fun, guys! Keep doing what you’re doing, you’re doing great. I promise you. Bye!)

My voice gets so high and squeaky when I’m nervous. Ahh! 

I had a video of the leg press, but the piece of crap video editor I was using online wanted $30 for me just to paste another 4 seconds onto my video length. By this point I just kind of needed to get on with my day! Sorry!

Also, just so it’s clear. I’m a novice at weight lifting. I know that leg pressing like crazy is totally doable, but a few months ago this probably would have been murder for me!

Anyway, these are more or less my thoughts.

  • I can lift more than I thought, even though I’ve yet to do sets this high.
  • It was empowering to learn that what used to cause me daily aggravating pain and turmoil is almost no challenge at all for the body I’ve been creating all these years.
  • Rather, it filled me with strength and energy.
  • I will only become stronger than this.

NEVER SKIP LEG DAY!

Tuesday, April 25th, 2017

10,000-15,000 steps 👍🏻
Meal Plan 👍🏻
6-8 hours of sleep 👍🏻
128 + oz of water 👍🏻
Sunscreen 👍🏻
100 Squats 👍🏻

Listening/Watching/Playing: A “Zelda Breath of the Wild” LP by rabbidluigi
Mood: 😌 Better
Weather:  ☀️

You’re officially going to be inundated with cat pictures every once in awhile. This certainly isn’t a cat blog, but with Simone needing so much attention at the moment; yeah–I’m going to be talking about her quite a bit. This sounds probably a little bit lame, but going to the gym this morning was the longest she’s been alone so far. 😂

Today was pretty erratic, moments of extreme high and low. Started out high going to the gym and getting a great workout. Then, when we came home Simone had somehow tipped her cat box over. HOW? She’s like 6.5 lbs!? So, my germaphobic ass is standing there dripping in sweat and scooping up pounds and pounds of cat litter off the floor. Like, I’ve gotten a lot better in the past few years, but dude. No. Too much. Skin crawling. 

I have a busy day tomorrow. Gym, fiance’s checkup, dropping off my glasses to be fixed, and picking up some house supplies. That should hopefully bring us to about noon or 1 PM, then we’ll have lunch and rebuild my PC. I’m currently backing up all my files. TAKING FOREVER.

OH! I am now 95% sure the neighbors are more than moving out, but already GONE. I went out to the balcony to eavesdrop–I mean, relax and I heard what sounded like a cleaning crew up there. I heard a shop vac running and then the familiar voice of a maintenance worker shouted “SHUT IT OFF, MIKE!” Oh, please, please, please! I know there’s always the chance the next tenant could be 1000x worse, but I will cherish the nights it takes till they refill that unit.