joss rose

4

“On a night like this, a man might believe anything’s possible.”

the office au
  • the company’s called thornhill industries. they sell security software
  • harold’s the ceo
  • root’s his assistant
  • harper’s the office secretary
  • carter and elias: human resources
  • zoe, anthony, cal beecher: PR
  • john, fusco, leon, shaw: sales
  • jason greenfield, daizo, daniel casey: IT
  • dani gets brought in as the new intern
  • everyone sees the tension between root and shaw. they know it’s only a matter of time
  • root’s always flirting, shaw’s always rolling her eyes
  • it would’ve happened years ago only they’re both too stubborn to be the first to make a move
  • they’re also both idiot losers who don’t think the other is really interested
  • there’s an office-wide betting pool
  • the will-they-wont-they has been going on for years, so the pool just gets bigger and bigger
  • everyone tries to get them super drunk at the holiday parties in hopes that one of them will finally make a move
  • so far, no luck
  • leon’s the one dumbass who thinks it’ll never happen. the poor fool
  • he and shaw have a particularly intense rivalry, so he doesn’t think shaw is capable of soft human emotion
  • finch also bets against them. he knows root too well, and thinks they’ll just dance circles around each other endlessly
  • anyways, the shaw/leon rivalry is intense
  • no one remembers how it started, but their desks are right across from each other and they love to give each other a hard time
  • LOVE it
  • sometimes their coworkers get caught in the crossfire
  • fusco once opened shaw’s desk drawer to borrow a pen while she was in the other room and ended up getting glitter bombed
  • it’s been three years and he still finds glitter on all his clothes
  • cal once accidentally grabbed leon’s lunch out of the staff room fridge instead of his own. by the time he realized someone had added a layer of glue to the pb&j it was already too late
  • harper gives dani the tour on her first day, introduces her to everyone, shows her around the building
  • dani very quickly develops a crush on root
  • who can blame her? root’s a shameless flirt
  • poor dani isn’t very good at hiding her feelings—she gets flustered too easily around pretty girls—so root knows Immediately
  • she starts lingering by dani’s desk. calling her into her office to help with menial tasks
  • asking her to stay late for this and that
  • dani’s so far gone. shaw’s pissed
  • “give the kid a break, root. you’re torturing her”
  • “do i detect a hint of jealousy, sameen?”
  • shaw scoffs. “that’s contempt. you’re stringing this poor kid along, letting her think she’s got a chance—“
  • “who says she doesn’t?” root challenges
  • she really does think dani’s cute. she likes her. the similarities to shaw are undeniable, but root becomes fond of her on her own
  • they go on a few dates
  • everyone thinks it’s very cute
  • well. not shaw
  • shaw takes to sharpening knives at her desk
  • “im just looking out for the damn kid, john,” shaw huffs
  •  one day dani comes bouncing into the office with a dopey grin after her lunch break and everyone knows she just got smooched
  • shaw leaves early that day
  • root breaks it off, after a few months. she tells dani she’s wonderful, but she’s hung up on someone else. dani lets out a huge sigh of relief
  • “oh thank god. i didn’t know how to tell you, but i think im in love with harper”
  • root sets them up
  • they’re the cutest couple in the office. the gaybies
  • everyone ships them
  • sends them fruit baskets. honorary toasters. they haven’t even moved in together yet
  • they get a dog together after a couple years and elias thows a baby shower
  • the day that word of the breakup gets around, shaw gets a memo from root asking her to stop by her office before she leaves for the night
  • shaw makes her wait all day
  • finally stops by like 30 minutes after everyone else has gone home just so root has to wait
  • doesn’t even knock on the door, just walks right in
  • “root”
  • “sameen”
  • they stare at each other for a moment. shaw waves her hand impatiently
  • “did you have something or were you just gonna waste my time?”
  • root glances at her watch “actually, we’re right on time. grab your coat”
  • “on time? for what?”
  • “we’re getting dinner, shaw. a date. im told that’s ‘what two oblivious idiots do to work through their shit’”
  • “……..carter?”
  • “carter. backed up by, apparently, all of our coworkers. they signed a petition”
  • the IT boys make bank the next day. after five years the betting pool has really added up
9

(“Buffy the Vampire Slayer” GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer“Veronica Mars” GIF originally posted by @lavellenchanted“iZombie” GIF originally posted by @littlehobbit13)

The Assassination of Pink Diamond by the Coward Rose Quartz

This was written some months ago, for a fic exchange that I’m not really sure is still happening. It’s also been a pretty lousy few months for me, writing-wise, so I thought I’d stick this on here and let it breathe the free air a bit - and help me feel slightly accomplished, too. I’d also like to thank @projectormom and @joan–of–bark for giving this some very helpful readthroughs and putting up with my writing-related angst.

Summary: The Earth represents many things and many freedoms. Amongst them, perhaps, a place for a pearl and a quartz to be in love. Or: the start of the rebellion. Pearl/Rose. ~7200 words.


The Assassination of Pink Diamond by the Coward Rose Quartz


“Well, here we are.”

It wasn’t the most creative or original set of words to mark the end of a very, very long journey in a relatively crowded ship among Gems who couldn’t exactly be trusted, but it was the best Pearl managed. The simple phrase certainly couldn’t begin to convey her relief. All the pretending had really started to get to her, and the brief times of respite and being allowed to be herself when the two of them got to be alone in Rose’s cabin were far from enough to counteract the seemingly endless stretches of nothing, of standing around and standing on protocol and standing in wait and standing, standing, standing…

She was standing on the ship’s gangway now, on the threshold to a new world, the last of the crew to disembark. But, far more importantly, Rose was standing right there beside her.

“This… is it, I suppose,” Pearl went on, squinting at the very bright light of the local star that was allowed to pass through the atmosphere in some capacity, before turning her glance towards the overabundance of strange, variously-textured and mostly green substances around their landing site, presumably organic in nature. “Crystal System planet Earth. Doesn’t really look like much.”

“Pearl,” Rose laughed, in that open, loud, free way she allowed herself when they were alone, “we’ve hardly seen anything of it. Don’t be so quick to judge.”

Keep reading

the garage sale au

a collab with @gravelyhumerus

  • the shaws are having a yard sale to clear out a bunch of old junk
  • some of their clientele include: 
  • a lady in a weed leaf-patterned dress. doesn’t speak english. buys all of papa shaw’s old CDs
  • a tiny old white lady who buys an old bong and calls it a vase. shaw doesn’t correct her
  • five different women in big hats who pat shaw on the back, calling her a good salesperson. they don’t notice her physical discomfort, nor do they buy anything
  • a man drops and shatters three tea cups, then walks away like he didn’t do anythingthere are people in their cars waiting for shaw to set up at 7am. shaw doesn’t know why the hell they’re up so early by /choice/
  • some lady asks shaw if the giant old lady bras (her late grandmother’s) are lingerie for her boyfriend
  • john very solemnly tells her yes, they are
  • root lives across the street and has a Big Gay Crush on a certain shaw comma sameen
  • shaw and john are close friends, and root doesn’t talk to anyone at school so she doesnt know that he’s really fucking gay so she thinks he’s flirting with shaw
  • he’s there helping out with the yard sale and root shows up to give him a run for his money
  • she’s too busy tripping over herself and buying all of shaw’s stuff to notice john’s bf harold is there, literally holding his hand
  • she doesn’t even look at what she’s buying, just scoops up an armful of trinkets and drops them on the table in front of shaw
  • “you’re really interested in all this crap?” shaw scoffs
  • “i am………..a hoarder”
  • she had a really smooth pickup line she’d spent hours working on (i see one thing im interested in) but it’s much easier to deliver the line to her shampoo bottle in the shower than it is to sameen shaw’s actual face so she panics and here we are
  • shaw shrugs. it’s hardly the strangest thing root’s ever told her
  • root ends up having to have her own yard sale a week later to get rid of all the stuff she bought from shaw
  • shaw stops by and she’s like wAIT a second
  • “hang on, you’re you making money off my garbage? i had this priced at fifty cents" 
  • "y’know, you really should have a better sense of market values. it’s going for $14.99 on ebay”
  • “it’s an old dog toy”
  • “an old dog toy that’s going for $14.99 on ebay”
  • a couple days later they bump into each other aGAIN and this time root is wearing shaw’s sweater and shaw is like oh shit she looks good in my shit what the hell red alert 
  • only it’s like a really tacky ugly sweater shaw hated bc it made her look shapeless, but on root’s lanky-ass frame it’s very cute and artsy
  • the asshole
  • back to the shaws’ yard sale though! fusco shows up to buy a rusty lamp with no bulb or shade. it belonged to shaw’s great grandmother. when questioned about his intentions for said partial lamp, fusco just shrugs
  • “ya never know. ‘s good to be prepared”
  • harper’s the one who shows up wanting to know the background of each item and shaw’s like "we found it in a drawer who cares”
  • (harper’s really just there to find cool stories and flirt with carter and shaw and root and dani)
  • zoe is the one that pulls up in her car just to give her pal shaw the thumbs up
  • shaw’s like “if you really cared you’d buy something” and zoe just laughs and yells back “if i wanted garbage i’d get it at the dump for free” and drives away
  • carter buys a necklace to support shaw
  • she sells it for a buck and carter looks at it online, sells it for a hundred
  • root wasn’t lying, it’s all about the market
  • john already bought shaw’s old video games, which he cherishes for the childhood nostalgia factor
  • their entire friendship was initially based on crash bandicoot
  • finch and john catch leon pocketing some shit. it’s literally worthless but shaw still punches him just on principle
  • she lets him keep it after that though
  • dani’s the one who spends the whole time playing with bear and doesn’t buy anything or talk to anyone
  • martine shows up with lambert and shaw/john/finch are immediately like “we’re closed”
  • “seriously, shaw? i can see all your stuff–”
  • “say, finch, what time do we close?”
  • “i believe we just did, sameen”
  • martine crosses her arms. “it’s only 9am”
  • “all sold out” john saya
  • jeremy gestures to the rest of the driveway, filled with people and clearly not sold out merchandise. “i can see the tables”
  • shaw finch and john just stare them down
  • literally the second they turn around to leave john calls his baseball teammate michael cole over to check some stuff out
  • shaw’s selling a absurd amount of knives because she needs to clear out space for MORE KNIVES
  • she makes sure to loudly say so as laskey, carter’s lab partner in a&p, walks by with his older brother simmons
  • they’re both Notorious Pricks
  • after a few hours shaw’s mom brings everyone lemonade and iced tea and gives shaw a one-armed hug
  • shaw’s like “mamaaaaaann c'mon, my friends are here”
  • and john’s like “yEA we are can i have a hug???”
  • they all get hugs, and harold gets a kiss on the head
  • sweet boy
  • mama shaw brings out some treats for bear too so dani can feed them to him
  • shaw takes a quick pat on the shoulder because her mom respects her limitations
  • root sees mama shaw as she’s leaving and gets a wave and veritably beams
  • mama shaw only knows root as (affectionately) “that odd girl from across the street”

frito-lay-official  asked:

shoot, marching band au, full, at competition vs samaritan, please and thanks!

[start at the beginning]

  • motherfucking samaritan
  • motherfucking samaritan with their brand new uniforms every year
  • they even have two sets
  • on for when it’s day and another for night shows
  • they pay top dollar for the best drill and music writers, and even have their own grass field to practice on
  • it’s nicer than the football team’s tbh
  • all the thornhill kids hate them on sight
  • when martine was…removed due to her injury, she quit band
  • and transferred to decima academy
  • she’s their drum major now, because she couldn’t march with a broken leg
  • she ended up loving it and the sense of power it gave her because martine is a fucking garbage can
  • decima and thornhill don’t see each other during competitions, as the two school are juuuuust too far away from each other to face off in local region and area competitions
  • but at state?
  • you bet your ass shit goes down
  • the first year after martine leaves the rivalry grows even stronger
  • ms thornhill has never seen the bus so quiet
  • it takes four hours to get to the stadium, and there’s barely a peep
  • just a bunch of kids staring holes into their sheet music, determinedly practicing counts and and turns and stops
  • she can her the clicks of slides and keys and the quiet puffs of air and it’s like a silent symphony
  • on the drumline bus, you can hear the quick and precise taps on practice pads and the subtle shifting melody of the base line
  • the parents and volunteers have never seen anything like it
  • the get off the bus and unpack their instruments
  • march in perfect lines over to the practice field and begin to warm up
  • harper doesn’t murmur a single innuendo, and root doesn’t trip over anyone’s instrument case
  • it’s truly a sight to behold
  • they stretch and do a few practice runs on some of the more difficult sets, and before they know it, it’s time to enter the field for prelims
  • samaritan goes ahead of them, of course
  • shaw and the rest of the drumline lead the way, and she watches samaritan’s show with a critical eye
  • it’s edgy, sure, with deep troubling undercurrents against a powerful high brass and near shrieking woodwinds
  • the percussion seems to whip in and out of the movements, both sinister and overpowering at times
  • all in all, it’s very angry and vengeful, and very VERY good
  • shaw chews a little more aggressively on her chip strap, the only outward sign of her nervousness
  • all too soon, the show is over, and our favorite marching band kiddos take the field
  • it’s a solid run, one of the best they’ve ever had
  • the drum break is flawless, the lines are crisp and pristine, and joss’s saxophone solo will be spoken of for years to come
  • when they regroup outside near the buses to change out of their uniforms to eat and recharge, ms thornhill congratulates them on an amazing performance before hurrying off to grab the results and commentary for their prelims run
  • there’s a quiet nervous energy in the air
  • a few try to start halfhearted conversation, but the group always returns to uncomfortable silence after a couple sentences
  • dani squeezes the fuck out of harper’s hand, clearly anxious as hell, and harper really wishes she had a joint right about now
  • joss paces anxiously, and not even a congratulatory text from zoe can ease her worries
  • john has resigned himself to leaning against the bus to watch harold’s hands flutter nervously around his clarinet
  • root and shaw are in their customary uniform appropriate huddle; shaw leaning back into root’s chest, root long arms wrapped around her to keep her calm
  • and then: the results
  • second place in prelims
  • there’s pride and joy, of course, but also disappointment
  • because those bitch ass samaritan motherfuckers placed first
  • the judges loved their show, and felt that the marching aspect was flawless, but they felt that the message wasnt quite clear
  • “those pompous old dickwads don’t understand jack shit unless you spell it out on the field for them.”
  • “language, sameen.” ms thornhill quips. “but you’re right. i have no complaints about your performance this afternoon. play your hearts and souls out as you always do, and they’ll have no choice but to give you the ranking you truly deserve.”
  • harold asks if there’s anything they need to work on before their final performance tonight because he’s still a giant nerd
  • she shakes her head. “take the next hour to relax. you’ve earned it. no amount of practice is going to make our show any more perfect than it was earlier.”
  • the kids are stunned, but they try to relax as much as possible
  • “no harper, that does NOT mean you get to smoke now” joss hisses before harper can even reach into her uniform pocket
  • “fun killer” harper hisses right back
  • shaw suddenly pulls out of root’s embrace
  • “sweetie?”
  • “i just…i have to ask ms thornhill about the uh–the drum break. i’ll be right back.” shaw calls over her shoulder, running after their director
  • shaw’s a terrible liar, and she’s totally up to something, but root’ll let her get away with it
  • for now
  • shaw’s gone a long time, and root makes her way over to where john is still dramatically leaning against the bus
  • “hey big lug.”
  • john nods. “hey future sister in law.”
  • root hides her blush by leaning her head on john’s shoulder
  • “root?”
  • “shaw’s been gone a while.”
  • “getting lonely?”
  • root snorts, “never /that/ lonely.”
  • john nudges her a little bit. “don’t worry about it.”
  • root gives him a flat look that clearly says Have You Ever Met Me
  • “trust shaw then” he says
  • he’s got a good point, not that she’ll ever tell him that
  • shaw comes back just as everyone is getting back into formation, fiddling with her phone as she walks
  • “where’d you go?” root asks softly
  • shaw glances around and gives root a quick kiss
  • joss’s eye twitches
  • shaw flips her off
  • “just had something to take care of, root. don’t worry about it. we have asses to kick.”
  • “we’re talking about this later, sameen.”
  • “i look forward to it.”
  • and then holy shit they’re taking the field
  • distantly, the kids hear “and now, it’s time for long time favorite, t. m. thornhill high school!”
  • they ready themselves to hit their first note as the announcer prattles on
  • “…and finally, a final note that failed to make it into out prelims announcement!”
  • he pauses to see if anyone laughs at the music pun
  • harper and root crack tiny smiles on the field
  • fucking losers
  • “this year, the t. m. high school marching band has decided to dedicate their show to one of their own! first chair and section leader root…root was hospitalized in a marching related accident, and was left partially deaf due to her injuries…”
  • root freezes and tears begin to form in her eyes
  • “…has been a driving force and role model for the rest of her marching band!”
  • she’s not gonna cry
  • she’s nOT
  • then everyone ripples their instrument to face her, almost like a giant band salute
  • (then she fucking cries)
  • “and without further delay, i am proud to once more give you the t. m. high school marching band!”
  • and then it’s like a musical explosion
  • a rebirth
  • they scatter drill to form intricate lines
  • their form is flawless, arcs perfect
  • it’s not like samaritan’s show
  • it’s subtle
  • it’s a tale of loss and despair, denial and anger
  • but slowly and surely the anger fades into an eerie silence
  • dani stands alone on the field and delivers a plaintive and beautiful trumpet solo
  • gradually the rest of the band joins her and surrounds her in series of protective circles
  • they orbit her while adding their own musical voices to inspire hope
  • hope for happiness, for a better future
  • as they hold their last pose, and the crowds begins to scream, ms thornhill wipes a single tear from her cheek
  • they did it
  • they really fucking /did it/
  • the makes it off the field before root breaks ranks and sprints to the front of the formation where shaw is trying to lead the band back to the buses
  • but root has some giraffe legs and she catches up quicksly
  • “sameen shaw.”
  • “mm? what’s up babe, kinda busy here, leading the band and all.”
  • “/sameen/. /shaw/.” root repeats with a slight twich in her left eye
  • “root. root.”
  • “did you just. dedicate our entire show to me?”
  • “i guess it could possibly be construed to look like that, yeah.”
  • “sameen.”
  • “i mean it was more for the band–”
  • “sameen. sweetie.”
  • “–those judges couldnt see the point of the show if i shoved it up their asses and–”
  • “honey.”
  • “and like it wasn’t even i big deal i dont know why–”
  • root shoves her trombone into some poor freshman snare drummer’s hands and then grabs shaw’s drums and hands them off to some random flute player
  • root pulls her into a kiss so hard shaw thinks she sees entire galaxies
  • (the band continues to march around them, of course)
  • (”band stops for no man, ms shaw”)
  • (root flips harold off while still making out with shaw)
  • (”carter, still forever suffering, hisses “fucking /amateurs/” as she marches past them)
the reincarnation au: industrial revolution

ancient rome | 1920s

  • okay so we have coal miner shaw. she stands out a little because she’s a woman
  • “if you look underneath all the dust” john always jokes
  • but she hauls just as much coal as any man so no one gives her shit
  • they used to, but then she and john cracked a few skulls
  • you know how it is
  • she and root go way back
  • they met on the street as kids
  • root was 100% done picking cotton in texas and hitchhicked to pennsylvania or iowa or wherever the fuck they are now
  • so root was begging for coins and shaw was on her way to work in the mines
  • shaw had found a penny on the street and she was super stoked to buy some candy to share with john on the way home later
  • she passes this girl who’s looking pretty pathetic, camped out there on the street
  • shaw looks back once. considers her penny
  • fuck that noise. she’s getting candy later
  • this girl /does/ sound pretty pitiful though. shaw groans. turns around. marches back over and yanks root up and drags her along behind her
  • “hey! hey, let go of me, you scoundrel!”
  • “i’m trying to help you, stupid”
  • root yanks her arm back. pouts
  • shaw crosses her arms. “c'mon, you’re gonna make me late”
  • “for what?”
  • “work. you’re coming with me. you’ll make more there than you will on that corner”
  • root perks up. shaw grabs her hand again. “now come on, if we run we’ll make it on time!”
  • so little shaw leads them to the boss man’s office. knocks on the door quickly.
  • george hersh pokes his head out. “cutting it a little close this morning, shaw”
  • “sorry hersh. i just thought maybe you and harold could use a little extra help around the office? maybe licking stamps and stuff?”
  • “not down in the mines with you?”
  • shaw gives root a once over. notes her thin frame and shaky limbs. “i just thought–”
  • “i can read and write, sir. and i’m really good at arithmetic” root pipes up
  • “oh?”
  • “yessir. had to know how to count to help my parents in the fields. my momma used to be a teacher, and she always said i had a real knack for my numbers”
  • a boy with floppy hair and glasses pokes his head out from behind hersh’s legs
  • “mister hersh? we can get more done if there’s two of us”
  • the whistle blows
  • “you’re going to be late, shaw.” hersh notes. “your friend’ll be fine here”
  • shaw is reluctant to leave root alone. it shows
  • “i’ll be fine, uh…shaw? dont worry about me!”
  • shaw looks up at hersh, squints a little, and nods. she trusts him
  • “i’m sure that…i’m sorry, what did you say your name was?”
  • “samantha, samantha groves. call me root, though.”
  • “oh?”
  • “that’s what my momma calls me, like the roots in the dirt, or like the square root of a number.” root shares a smile with harold
  • nerds.
  • “….right. root will be just fine here with us, shaw. off you go”
  • shaw decides root’s in good hands and hurries off
  • she comes back hours later, covered in filth, to check up on root
  • root’s diligently working though a long series of numbers when shaw peers through a small crack in the wall
  • roots eyes find hers though
  • she waves a little
  • it makes shaw’s chest tighten so she runs away and goes back to walking home with john, her big brother
  • “who’s that girl in hersh’s office?”
  • “nobody. just some girl i found this morning on the way here”
  • “found?”
  • “yeah, she was begging on the corner. amateur”
  • “do you–”
  • “if you keep askin’ questions i’m not sharing my candy”
  • john shuts up after that
  • shaw’s penny gets her four pieces of candy. she gives john two and keeps the other two in her pocket. john’s happily munching away when shaw freezes
  • “sam? what’s wrong?”
  • “oh uh. i…i forgot my…my shoes? yeah i forgot my shoes. at work. i gotta go back”
  • john blinks and shaw spins around and runs back
  • “…you’ve never owned a pair of shoes, shaw.” john says to the empty street
  • shaw’s tiny legs get her back to hersh’s office in record time.
  • “what is it now, shaw? i was just closing up”
  • “where’s root?”
  • “‘scuse me?”
  • “where’s root, where’d she go?”
  • “she just left. i assume she went back home”
  • shaw spins around AGAIN and runs back to that stupid street corner
  • finds root curled up in a cardboard box. yanks her up again. drags her off
  • “what’s–shaw? where are we going?”
  • “you cant sleep on the street. it’s cold. that’s stupid”
  • “where else would i go?”
  • “home. with me”
  • “where’s that?”
  • “you ask too many questions. eat this”
  • she gives root the two slightly smushed and melted pieces of candy
  • root is touched. “did you get these for me?”
  • “ugh. no. they’re extra. i’m full so you can have em”
  • shaw’s a terrible liar. or maybe root’s good at reading people. root takes one and gives shaw back the other. “thank you”
  • “whatever”
  • maybe she lets root hold her hand on the way back. but only because both of their hands are sticky from the candy. it would be too much of a hassle to let go
  • plus her hands were cold. so there
  • “home with shaw” is actually a cluster of makeshift shacks and tents with a bunch of other kids
  • carter, fusco, john, harold, carter, dani, harper, leon. the whole gang is there by the fire in a pile like a bunch of kittens
  • “they all…live here? alone?” root whispers. she doesn’t want to wake them up
  • “not all of us have parents. and some don’t have parents they want to go home to”
  • root gives her a half smile. she more than understands
  • “you get cold at night?” shaw asks, digging through a pile of rags
  • “sometimes. why?”
  • shaw pulls out a blanket and gestures with it. “pick a good spot”
  • root studies the pile carefully for a moment, then lays down next to where dani and harper are intertwined
  • “good call. john kicks in his sleep and fusco snores”
  • “and you?”
  • “you’ll find out when it’s your turn to keep watch. now go to sleep”
  • root gives her a mocking salute and curls into her blanket. “goodnight, shaw”
  • “goodnight root”
marching band au: sousaphone jousting

[start at the beginning]

  • so root’s pretty angsty in the wake of the whole “my sort-of-gf left and moved to canada” thing
  • all the upper classmen in her section are mostly dudes lbr
  • they try to hit on her a few times and she just stares blankly at them
  • she starts to draw shitty nude anime girls all over her sheet music until they get the message
  • they mostly leave her alone after that
  • plus once they see how dedicated she is to her instrument they kinda get jealous of how good she is
  • the band hall is her second home
  • the band directors are low key trying to see who spends the most extra time in the band hall: finch, joss, root, or shaw
  • theres a running bet with all the band directors (greer, thornhill, and hersh)
  • greer keeps aggressively insisting that when root sleeps over it shouldn’t count towards her time, but thornhill keeps pulling rank and insisting it does
  • finch is such a little nerd oh my good
  • he’ll seek out different ensemble pieces and try to slip them under the band directors door
  • “i feel that these selections would both increase the technical skill of our wind section while also providing entertainment during the wind ensemble concert in the spring”
  • there is no wind ensemble concert in the spring
  • theres no wind concert at all
  • (yet)
  • greer just kinda stares blankly.
  • “never mind, ill make the copies myself. don’t trouble yourself”
  • finch is also the bands office aide
  • fucking nerd
  • dani is 1000000% done with her section at all times
  • shes the only person who takes her shit seriously and she is going to drag them to glory whether theyre dead or alive by the end of it
  • when new trumpets come in they always think theyve lucked out and got a total push over for a section leader
  • she’s just a small quiet kid. she never raises her voice. she doesn’t even really talk in class. yeah she can play like a motherfucker and they’re in awe, but really
  • how bad can this tiny elf be??
  • try early morning practices at 5 am, bitch
  • every goddamn day
  • the band directors arent even sure if thats legal but none of the kids have ever complained
  • well. not since jeremy “shit for brains” lambert
  • but he transferred out the next week. no ones quite sure what happened on the practice field
  • some say he challenged her to a play off and lost so badly he went home crying. some say she played a c so high she literally shattered his eardrums. others say she just straight up punched him in the face and broke his jaw
  • regardless of the truth, dani silva is definitely their favorite section leader
  • john and fusco however, are grade a trouble makers
  • they’re the dumbasses that like. try to joust with their sousaphones
  • and make long drawn out farting noises during water breaks
  • sometimes when roots in a douchey mood she makes the sad trombone noise when they get yelled at by band directors
  • johns just kinda bummed that he never gets included in finch’s weird wind ensemble pieces
  • fuscos just here because he was too chicken to join the football team
  • he’s the one who loudly insists that “marching band is totally a sport, okay”
  • meanwhile: the real over achiever aka joss carter
  • saxaphone section leader, woodwind captain, in charge of the jazz band, band president (she ran against martine, it was a slaughter)
  • does she sleep?
  • no
  • is she the best jazz player this high school has ever produced?
  • probably
  • is she gonna kill harper one of these days in jazz practice?
  • definitely
  • joss is basically like this little adult and dani is also Very Responsible. shaw (on the drumset) always has her shit together. root’s some kind of trombone prodigy (despite the marching accident that left her deaf in one ear. and her constant fixation on shaw)
  • (root’s nerd squad plays the guitar, bass, and piano in the jazz band)
  • and then FUCKING HARPER
  • who’s literally one innuendo away from a) getting murdered by joss b) causing dani to blush to death
  • she’s not even subtle
  • “i’d love to blow your trumpet sometime, dani”
  • even ROOT side eyes harper for that one
  • “i’d really like for you to teach me how to flutter tongue”
  • root gives her a high five for that one
  • shaw adds a little quiet bu-dum tiss
  • joss has to leave the room
  • fucking amateurs
the marching band au: middle school
  • so first things first: shaw
  • ever since she was a wee bab shes needed a creative outlet to get out all her feely feels
  • her singing usually turned into screaming which turned into more destruction
  • pencils and pens snapped too easily
  • one day her child psychologist suggests music
  • her parents are super skeptical
  • who wants to shell out thousand for an instrument that shaw could throw across the room in a fit of rage?
  • and her psychologist is like yo: percussion
  • just let her beat the shit out of a practice pad
  • for hours
  • she breaks a lot of sticks in the beginning but theyre pretty cheap it’s fine
  • eventually they get her some pretty rad private music lessons
  • so shaw goes into middle school percussion as a small bundle of concentrated rage and talent
  • everyone expects her to move towards snare and eventually be drum captain when she gets into high school; she’s so precise and her technique is fine af
  • she walks up to the drum tech, hersh, halfway through her 8th grade year
  • “i wanna march quads”
  • to his credit, he doesnt even fucking blink
  • “then you’re gonna have to start working out, kiddo”
  • she nods seriously and he gives her an entire training regimen
  • she starts practicing up at the high school after her concert band practices so she can start learning the proper techniques to march quads
  • Certain People take notice
  • Certain People named root
  • watching her longtime crush suddenly develop biceps (and maybe even abs??? she caught a quick glance once time and she’s still not entirely sure she wasnt hallucinating) is quite the experience
  • real talk: root only joined middle school band for shaw
  • she even tried to sneak off over to the percussion section but the middle school director took one look at her and her long and gangly body and sealed her fate
  • “trombone”
  • honestly, director control doesnt expect much out of her
  • shes a scruffy kid from The Wrong Side Of Town. she’ll probably just be another lazy middle school punk that doesnt practice and forgets her sheet music and puts dents in her trombone
  • this lady CLEARLY underestimates root’s dedication to sameen shaw and her compulsive need to win at everything she sets her mind to
  • root’s the kid who never takes her instrument home because her mom yells that her practicing is making her hangover worse
  • so she just lives in the practice rooms
  • director control has to kick her out on more than one occasion
  • and to control’s credit, root DOES put like seven dents in her trombone over the course of three years
  • she’s really clumsy okay
  • the Worst
  • john’s the awkward kid with the bad haircut and the tuba
  • poor middle school john
  • joss “powerhouse” carter transfers in 7th grade year and melts everyone’s face off with her alto sax skills
  • fusco is stuck in tuba hell with john
  • finch is the clarinet nerd
  • dani is the super quiet kid who never talks in class but busts out some sick ass trumpet nonsense
  • harper plays tenor sax and throws little pieces of paper at dani during practice
  • hashtag middle school flirting
  • claire is a very nervous flute player who’s constantly second chair to martine “garbage can” however the fuck you spell her last name i cant be bothered
  • fuck martine, okay
  • hanna frey plays french horn and she and root have a sort of awkward “i kinda like you but you’re pretty in love with shaw and we’re bffs and exchanged friendship bracelets” thing
  • hanna moves away right before the beginning of high school and root starts dressing exclusively in black
  • root plays taps on her beat up trombone for weeks afterwards
  • root’s an over dramatic emo nerd
american ninja warrior au: the competitiors
  • john, carter, shaw, root and dani are competitors on american ninja warrior
  • john is competing for his 4th time
  • he’s made it to Vegas last year but ended up failing in stage 2
  • the damn hourglass table got the best of him
  • he’s hoping to make it again this year, make it to stage 4 and conquer that damn mountain
  • he’s a gymnastics instructor and built his own anw obstacle 
  • he now trains future anw competitors
  • it’s hella cute seeing john helping the kids run up the warp wall
  • they all call him uncle john
  • this is also carter’s 4th year
  • she’s made it to vegas 3 years in a row
  • first and second time she failed in stage 1 and last year failed in stage 3
  • she was 1 obstacle away from completing stage 3
  • her arms gave out on those damn floating boards
  • she won’t be defeated by those again
  • john has mad respect for her
  • they train together sometimes
  • carter was in the army for a short time
  • a machine gun tore up her right leg and she was sent home
  • she got stronger and back into shape and decided to try out for this show for shits and giggles
  • now she’s dedicated to it when she’s not working a homicide case
  • dani works with carter in the homicide task force
  • this is dani’s very first year competing
  • she sent in an audition tape instead of doing the walk in line
  • fuck that shit
  • her girlfriend harper convinced her to give it a shot
  • “the worst you can do is fail the first obstacle-but please don’t or else I’ll have to rethink this relationship”
  • “love you too babe”
  • harper’s totally kidding she loves her little detective too much
  • carter helped train dani for the past 7 months
  • dani’s main goal is not to fuck up on the first obstacle, the floating steps
  • as long as she can make it past that one she’ll be good
  • shaw has been in the marines for quite some time now
  • she has never in her life heard of america ninja warrior
  • all she knows is it’s brutal and physical and not too many women make it
  • oh she is gonna crush them all
  • she looks up videos and diagrams of the obstacles
  • she sees what muscle groups are used and she works them out
  • she notices grip is the main thing and by now she can probably crush a watermelon with one hand
  • she also submits a tape in and of course they take her
  • she doesn’t care that this is her first time
  • she’s gonna be in vegas and be the first women ever to win this show
  • this is also root’s first year
  • her best friends hanna and harold are addicted to this dumb show 
  • harold mostly watches for john
  • he has a lowkey crush okay leave him be
  • one day root foolishly makes an off hand comment about how it has to be rigged
  • hanna fucking goes off
  • “even if it was rigged there is no way they could save your noodle ass from even the first obstacle”
  • root is offended and up for the challenge
  • she starts training and she figures out the angles on each obstacle and how to tackle it
  • yes upper body is needed for it but root is smart enough to figure out that it’s not just brawns required
  • she has to hack the anw servers to get her audition tape accepted
  • she’s gonna shock the nation with how far she’ll go
  • honestly the network isn’t ready for what is in store this year on american ninja warrior
the US national womens soccer team au
  • shaw’s parents always knew that their daughter was beyond gifted in soccer
  • she’s been kicking around a soccer ball since she could walk
  • always so dedicated to practices
  • watching all the world cups and olympic games
  • so when she’s recruited for the youth team it’s no surprise
  • shaw is a force to be reckoned with and everyone on her team knows it
  • she’s the quickest striker that the youth teams have ever seen
  • her runs are something that even Alex Morgan would be jealous of
  • she leads her team to victories year after year
  • so no one was even shocked to find out the US women’s national team called shaw up
  • she was only 17
  • the youngest to be called up since Mallory Pugh
  • shaw is a game changer
  • she’s a deadly forward
  • she’s like a hurricane cutting through the defense and launching the ball into the back of the net
  • she’s so short that its hard to believe she can win headers
  • she has some serious leg muscles
  • she can jump higher than any of her opponents
  • the opposing teams always get pissed off because shaw always jumps in front of them to head the ball away
  • i’ts an utter disaster to nutmeg the ball around her
  • she can always strip the ball away from anyone and fake out the whole defense backline
  • she’s 22 when there’s retirements after retirements
  • sure shaw is gonna miss her teammates and friends but she’s more worried about the teams winning streak
  • younger players are inexperienced and fold under pressure or they try to show off too much
  • technically shaw is a young player but she’s been with the team for 6 years she’s a veteran in the public’s eye
  • the only other veteran players are mallory, lindsey, morgan, emily and steph 
  • there’s a lot of spaces that need to be filled and shaw is not excited for it
  • surprisingly the new members are actually really good and their first game with them goes extremely well
  • sure it was only a friendly but 6-0 is still an amazing win
  • from then on this team continues to improve and shaw can see the world cup in the bag
  • dani silva is a new forward with shaw
  • she works wide and can strike from very odd angles
  • unlike shaw she is a quiet striker
  • she’ll get stray balls or slip right by the defender and boom
  • another point for them
  • joss, brooks, frankie and anna are the new terrifying backline of defense
  • joss is their center back and that woman alone is a brick wall
  • she can also work midfield if needed
  • hell that woman can literally play anywhere
  • kellie lin is the new goaliee
  • honestly nothing about her screams goal keeper
  • she’s all thin and much more built for midfeild
  • but /damn/
  • she can jump and stretch and literally block any shot
  • shaw is still having a hard time scoring a goal on her
  • shaw respects kellie
  • zoe, harper and root are the hardworking midfielders
  • harper and root are the wings 
  • they know exactly where to send the ball so either shaw or dani can get it and score
  • root knows that shaw likes a serve over her head in the center
  • harper knows that dani would rather have the ball outside and just right behind her feet
  • dani can stop on the dime with the ball
  • unlike their opponents
  • harper and dani have this connection that is something beautiful
  • shaw and root’s connection is something even the public can’t deny
  • zoe holds down the middle and commands her team where to go
  • she always makes the best calls and knows how to set the right pace for them
  • root almost has some eerie six sense
  • she can always predict where a player is gonna pass and she intercepts the ball with ease
  • she’s the only one who can keep up with shaw
  • those long limbs can carry her up and down the field with ease
  • every goal shaw makes for the next 12 games is because of root
  • anytime root has the ball shaw is at the other end of it
  • you can bet root is the first one to hug shaw after a goal
  • one time dani made a goal and root still went to hug shaw first
  • “the hell root?! I didn’t even touch the ball”
  • “this is for looking so cute in your uniform”
  • shaw rolls her eyes but she lowkey likes when root says dumb shit like this
  • it gives her an odd feeling in her chest
  • it’s faint but it’s there
  • these games leading up to the world cup will be something interesting
the stoner squad au: ihop

part one

  • shaw’s just taken three brownies. root’s taken two. everyone else takes one (1) because the dont hate themselves and dont want to die
  • they keep passing the pipe around in the meantime
  • zoe and dani start whining that they want food
  • everyone piles into carters mom van and they end up at like. motherfucking ihop
  • john is their server. poor kid. college jobs are rough
  • everyone’s giggling and having a grand ol’ time
  • shaw’s pretty stoic
  • she’s not feeling it quiet yet
  • and then
  • it hits her
  • like a fucking wave of irresponsibility and dank memes
  • she grips root’s leg. hard
  • “root”
  • “what’s up, sweetie?”
  • “i’m tripping balls. i think i’m going to die”
  • root’s eyes widen. she tries to detach shaw’s hand from her leg. it doesn’t work
  • “i’m sure you just need to eat a little–”
  • “root. everything is a shade of blue right now. which is beautiful. you look beautiful when you’re blue”
  • “umm.”
  • “also i think those lights are moving”
  • root: “hey guys, sorry to cut this short, but we need to bail”
  • carter: “and how do you think you’re gonna get home, missy?”
  • “i’ll walk her back to our dorm. i’ll text you every ten minutes.”
  • “five minutes. you think she can walk like that?”
  • “we’ll find out, i guess.”
  • root coaxes shaw out of the booth. tosses down some cash for their portion
  • “root. root why are we moving. i need to eat my pancakes”
  • “you finished your pancakes ten minutes ago, honey”
  • “shit. i dont remember that”
  • “i need you to trust me”
  • “………fine. but only because you’re tall and i like your face area”
  • she drags shaw out of ihop. johns flips them off on their way out
  • it turns out that shaw can’t walk. “root i think there’s something wrong with the gravity”
  • just lean on me, we can just–“
  • shaw sits down in the middle of the sidewalk. refuses to move
  • "my legs are gone”
  • root bites her lip. "i could just…do you want a ride? a piggyback ride?”
  • shaw squints. “the king demands it. make it so”
  • so root gives her a piggyback ride home
  • shaw is halfway asleep by the time they make it back
  • root sets shaw down on her bed, turns to leave for her own dorm
  • shaw starts to squirm in her blanket cocoon
  • “where are you going? don’t leave me.”
  • root’s gay stoner heart is gonna explode. “like on the bed, or…….?”
  • shaw shakes her head
  • “no, you gotta keep watch, man. duh”
  • so root sits on the floor next to shaw’s bed. makes herself comfortable
  • shaw pats root’s head. tangles her fingers in her hair. passes out
  • when carter eventually comes back, shaw has migrated to the floor and is asleep on root’s lap
the spider-man au: origins
  • joss carter grows up in queens as a kid
  • she doesn’t remember much about her birth parents, but doesnt care much either. she’s raised by loving grandparents who she calls ma and pops
  • they’re her parents. plain n simple
  • joss carter is also a damn genius
  • brilliant with computers, a technical whiz, well-liked by her peers, and a fine-ass photographer to boot
  • she graduates high school with a 4.0 and gets a full ride to NYU for journalism
  • a damn genius
  • anyway, she meets zoe morgan pretty early on her first semester
  • zoe’s equal parts gorgeous and intimidating as hell, so naturally everyone’s in love with her
  • she’s also a huge flirt, which. doesn’t help
  • carter’s not impressed. she doesn’t trust people she can’t read, and zoe morgan is notoriously impossible to read
  • zoe, on that other hand, takes an instant liking to carter
  • she’s studying some kind of wild superscience and sneaks carter into one of the super-classified, incredibly off-limits research labs in an attempt to impress her
  • carter’s skeptical
  • “remind me how we have clearance to be down here?”
  • zoe laughs. “we dont! no, we have no clearance at all, it’s funny actually–c'mon, this way”
  • carter’s really not tryna get kicked out of school this early in the year
  • “morgan, i swear–”
  • “–that this is the coolest thing you’ve ever seen? have a little faith, joss”
  • zoe’s pulled her into a sealed room (how’d she even get past the optic scanner? carter makes a mental note to ask when they inevitably end up in prison) with a giant……contraption in the middle
  • “i should warn you, this stuff is all highly radioactive. kidding! well, im not actually, but it’s low-level stuff, we’re fine. we should keep this under 6 minutes though”
  • it’s some kind of machine. very high-tech, lots of bells and whistles
  • zoe’s looking at her smugly. carter raises an expectant eyebrow
  • “that’s it?”
  • zoe pouts. carter’s trying really /really/ hard to pretend it isn’t a little endearing
  • “/that’s it/–joss, what you’re looking at now is a one-of-a-kind, nearly perfected prototype………..”
  • carter doesn’t hear much after that. the science is way beyond her, and all of a sudden there’s a prick at the back of her neck that makes her wince
  • she slaps at it and pulls her hand away to find the smushed remains of what used to be a spider
  • “guess you’re gonna have to take ‘a fly couldn’t sneak in here’ outta your pitch” she says disdainfully as she wipes her hand on her jeans
  • zoe’s brow furrows. “that’s…..weird”
  • zoe is never surprised. never. it’s kind of her thing
  • so carter very quickly learns that “that’s weird” is zoe morgan speak for “we’re fucked”
  • the spider is forgotten in the excitement of being chased out of the building by some very cross persons in lab coats
  • so forgotten, in fact, that when carter wakes up in her dorm the next morning literally hanging from the ceiling, Spider Bite In Forbidden Radioactive Lab doesn’t even register as a possible explanation
  • her roommate harper is staring up at her with two cups of starbucks in hand
  • unfazed
  • “you gonna stay up there all day or what? coffee’s getting cold”