are we out of the woods? ; josh dun imagine

Hurry up, would you!“ your best friend joked with a chuckle and turned around to see you dawdling behind him, eyes glued to the pavement below you. His smile dropped as he noticed your previously heartwarming smile was nowhere to be seen. Josh’s eyes softened and he immediately stopped and waited for you to catch up to him. Once you did, he intertwined his fingers with yours and gave it a reassuring squeeze, the sudden contact snapping you out of your thoughts and made your stomach explode with butterflies.

Today was such a spectacular day. You and Josh had been exploring the new surroundings of LA all day. You were so excited that you both finally moved in together, into the city of your dreams. It was such a thrilling experience to get lost in the large city, not knowing where you were going but only having each other, walking aimlessly through large buildings and forests, hand in hand with your childhood friend. However, throughout the day there had been a looming grey cloud over your head and it wasn’t coming down.

You hated having days like these. You’d be having the time of your life, yet sadness would hit you unexpectedly like a ton of bricks. Lucky, you had somebody like Josh by your side, shielding you from the darkness of your mind and not letting you surrender to the unforgiving thoughts.

"Hey, where’s that smile?” Josh asked and stopped in front of you, cupping your cheek with his free hand. The corner of your mouth tugged upward and your lip trembled, eyes still on the cement, not willing to look up at Josh.

You felt as that if you were to look up at Josh you’d see the disappointment swirling in his eyes, that he was so heartbroken over the fact you weren’t happy all the time. You couldn’t imagine how much a tole this would take on Josh, after all he is your best friend and you are his. You wish you could stay happy for once and not bring down the positive mood constantly.

There was a reoccurring thought that dominated your heart and brain and made it difficult to cope in any situation, especially this one since it absorbed your being. It had been bugging you for quite some time, but you were too afraid to address it.

You really had deep feelings for Josh, but you didn’t know how to say it. Every time his hand slipped into yours, your stomach erupted with butterflies. When he planted a reassuring kiss on your forehead when you were having bad thoughts, your mind immediately was at ease, despite your crimson cheeks. You were so deeply head over heels for this boy, but you were so terrified that he didn’t feel the same, so you always kept your mouth shut.

You always feared the scenario of Josh finally having enough of dealing with your problems and ditching you. He’d have enough of being pushed away time, and time again, after trying to hold you close. He’d have enough of you crying on his shoulder, you pouring all of the emotions out from your dismantled heart. That he’d finally leave and find somebody who would give him the attention that he deserved.

“J-Josh,” your voice was small, quiet and shaky, making Josh worry. You looked into his eyes and tried to stay confident. You needed to ask this before it destroyed you.

Josh rubbed his thumb against the freckled skin on your cheek, searching your hopeless eyes in worry. 

“D-do I mean anything to you?” You asked bluntly, hoping that the answer of this altering question could help you have some closure. You swallowed hard and exhaled a sigh.

“What, are you kidding me? You really ask that?” His mouth hung open for a few seconds in utter shock. Something had snapped in his brain and you saw it happen. You watched in horror as disappointment and frustration swirled in his eyes, a sight you never wanted to see. Josh’s hand slipped out of yours and ran them through his hair, tugging at it. He spun around and had his back to you.

 At that moment you knew he was about to walk down the street and leave you. You couldn’t bare the silence over of how petrifying the thought of Josh leaving you for good, so you came clean with your emotions.

“J-Josh I love you!” The three words you’d been dying to tell him slipped out from your lips and you didn’t feel the slightest hint of regret. “God, I love you so much, Joshua Dun,” you said bursting into tears. Josh’s frame froze and his legs locked into place, his back still to you.

“I’m so truly, madly and deeply in love with your dumb ass and I wish I said it sooner. I’m so sorry I’m a mess. I’m sorry I always bring down the mood because of these fucked up thoughts I have. I’m sorry I push you away when I need you the most. I’m just sorry that I can’t be the person you need. ” You stopped yourself from babbling any long and you took a deep breath to gather yourself.

“Please don’t go. I know you deserve so much more than what I could give you, but for the love of all things holy, please don’t go.” You soften your voice and sniffle. 

“You never fail to make me feel better when my thoughts take over. Without you, I don’t know if I’d still be here. I just need to know if you feel the same way. I need to know you love me too,” you finished. You hear Josh exhale and before you knew it, he had turned around and looked into your eyes. Tears were streaming down his face, his once soft brown eyes were now red and puffy. Your heart broke at the sight.

“I love you, I-I love you too. I’ve loved you this whole fucking time,” Josh practically yelled and pulled you into a hug, his arms secured tightly around your waist and your arms wrapped around his neck.

“You are not a burden to me, you never were. You always make me laugh with your cringey jokes, I love the way you put too much milk in your coffee so it doesn’t taste like one. I love how you itch the tip of your nose when you’re nervous. I don’t see any flaws when I look at you, I see a beautiful human standing right in front of me. I swear to God you’re an angel that was sent here for me.” Josh’s words were muffled in your hair.

You detached yourself from him and sniffled in relief, but there was a small hint of doubt in your chest.

“I know you kinda professed your undying love for me,” you giggled through your happy tears.“But if you’ve had feelings for me this whole time, why didn’t you kiss me? I felt like there was a problem. Was there?”

“The problem is,” he said as he leaned in, “if I kissed you, I don’t think I’d be able to stop.” Josh smirked. You rolled your eyes at how cocky he was being and cupped his face, smashing your lips onto his. And just how you’d imagine it, the kiss was perfect. Your lips moulded together perfectly, like two missing puzzle pieces finally put together. His lips tasted of cherry, a taste that you’ll forever be fond of.

“I’ve waited years to feel your lips against mine,” Josh grins as he rests his forehead against yours, running his fingers through your hair.

“I miss it already,” you pout, earning a small chuckle from Josh.

“I can fix that,” Josh places his lips on yours again, this time soft and compassionately. Your fingers roam through his hair, pulling ever so gently. “Now lets go to the cafe like we originally planned before we reenacted a Romeo and Juliet scene,” Josh chuckled.

In that moment, you knew he was your soulmate. From day one had you been searching for somebody to dull your pain by filling your heart with love, and you finally did.

 Who would have known that fourteen year old you would fall in love with the boy who moved into the small red head across the street.

Camping** Version. 1



Camping. You weren’t quite sure who’s brilliant idea it was to spark up the conversation of camping but after weeks of protesting, you were sat on a log watching your idiot brothers trying to pitch a tent. 

“We’re not going to make it to the end of the weekend are we?” Joe’s voice pulled you away from your brothers. 

Joe draped his arm around your shoulder letting your head fall to his. 

“Nope. Jack and Conor are either going to kill each other or one of us.” You said as you pictured a scene of one of the boys falling into the fire later tonight. 

Joe must have had the same image run through his head because he laughed and told you that he and Oli were taking care of the fire tonight. 

“This isn’t going to be very romantic will it?” you looked over at Joe.

“Hey just because everyone is here and were camping doesn’t mean we can’t make it romantic?” 

“Oi will you stop fondling my sister and help us with this damn thing?” Jack shouted as he let the tent fall to the ground. 

Daylight was depending behind the trees just as you had finished pitching the last tent. Somehow out of the 8 of you, 3 of which were family, you were the only one with basic outdoor skills. Apparently Jack and Conor weren’t paying attention on your family camping trips you use to take all the time so you did most of the work. 

“Alright guys dinner is served!” Shouted Mikey from the picnic table where he had laid out all of the food you had packed for the weekend. 

“Mikey you do know that all this food has to last us at least 6 more meals” Oli questioned.

“I know but I thought we could have some variety” Mikey defended himself as everyone rolled their eyes. 

After everyone had ate, Joe and Oli worked on building a fire and after several attempts, finally got it to ignite and stay lit. 

“I can’t believe you have two have never had a s’more before!” You laughed as you watched Caspar and Josh roast their marshmallows. 

“Well sorry our family holidays weren’t to the middle of the woods” Josh said as he frantically blew the fire off his marshmallow. 

“Its hard to believe that you guys were on those holidays too” Joe said directing his words to the boys sitting across from him. 

“Mate that was a long time ago. We were so young!” Jack yelled.

“Y/N is younger than you guys and she at least remembers how to pitch a tent.”

“Hey, that wasn’t out fault. The tent was defected.” Conor chimed in causing all the boys to erupt with laughter as they all remembered Conor getting mad and throwing the tent to the ground.

The moon was now high in the sky giving you just enough light to finish packing up all the food. Everyone had gone to their tents, exhaustion from the long drive and building camp setting over them. 

You dumped a bucket of water over the remains of the fire, watching the cloud of smoke release into the air as a pair of arms wrapped around your stomach. 

“I think its time we make this trip romantic” Joe said as his lips danced up your neck. 

“Joe now is not the time” You shrugged him off. 

“Why not? Everyones been passed out now for an hour or so, tonight is probably the only night we’ll have to ourselves.” Joe said, his hands snaking their way back around your waist. 

“Fine” You said turning around to kiss him deeply as he attempted to walk you backwards towards your tent. 

Thank god the boys had bought 4 tents for this trip. You were fairly certain that they would all agree that you and Joe would have your own no matter what but you honestly weren’t expecting the boys to follow through with much of this trip. 

You stumbled back into your tent, Joe falling onto of you having tripped over your bags. You let out a small giggle but was quickly silenced by Joe’s lips on yours once again.

 The tent was dark and but you managed to removed yours and Joe’s clothes, throwing them somewhere inside. Joe’s hand traveled down your stomach to your core, a finger collected your juices before sliding inside you of. 

You let out a moan as he started work his finger in and out. “Shhh babe.” Joe said against your neck as he nipped it. 

You bit down on your lower lip as Joe inserted another finger. It took everything inside you not to moan out his name or whine when his fingers were pulled out of you. 

Joe pushed you down onto the ground, pumping his cock and few times before pulling a condom out of his bag he had tripped over earlier. 

“Planning on getting lucky didn’t you Sugg?” You smirked as you watched his roll the condom onto his length. 

“Always gotta be prepared with you” he winked before running the tip in between your folds and slowly easing in. 

You let out a loud gasp as he filled you completely, pausing once he was in so you could adjust and compose yourself. Joe slowly moved his hips back and forth as he thrusted in and out of you.

You bit down hard on your lip as your struggled to contain your moans. A few escaped Joe’s as he picked up the paced. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him down and attaching your lips to his. 

Your attempts to conceal your moans with his mouth failed as another loud moan left your lips. You moved your mouth to Joe’s shoulder where you bit down slightly causing him to wince in pain as he let his own head fall into the crook of your neck. 

Joe’s thrusts were getting sloppier and the moans were leaving your mouths more often but you kept them quiet…well you tired. Joe was hitting your g spot with every thrust and it was becoming too much for you to hold back. 

You let yourself release over Joe, a low moan ripping through your vocal cords as your body shook with euphoria. Joe released moments later into the condom, your name leaving his lips as his collapsed onto your body. 

The two of you laid in the dark, the only sounds that could be heard were the sounds of heavy breathing. You rolled over into Joe’s chest, your arm moving up to his hair. He let out a hum as your fingers twisted themselves in his hair. 

You kissed his chest before laying your head on it, listening to the sound of this heart rate slow back down. 

“I love you” he said after a while of silence. 

“I love you too” you said as he kissed the top of your head, and wrapping his arms around you tightly.

I had two requests dealing with camping but Y/N’s character was different so instead of combining them I’m going to just make two imagines with the sameish idea but different endings (Maybe - I have an idea but we’ll see how that goes). Version 2 will be out tomorrow Xx

so let's talk diversity

this is not a diversity rant contrary to the title. i just thought i’d recommend you all some books that have diverse characters. i’ve made sure that i’ve read most of these. also i’m going to split it into sexual diversity, racial diversity and other (other being every other type of diversity that isn’t racial or sexual because there are probably fewer of those ok i’ll stop rambling and get on with it). some books may be in multiple lists. ((equally, not all the books on here i liked - ones on here are ones i’ve rated 2 stars and above. ask if you want to know more))

last update: 27/08/16

+ means i haven’t read it but it’s on my to-read list

* means favourite (and also i probably cried)

racial diversity

  • yaqui delgado wants to kick your ass by meg medina +
  • and the mountains echoed by khaled hosseini
  • heroes of olympus by rick riordan
  • aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe by benjamin alire saenz *
  • last night i sang to the monster by benjamin alire saenz *
  • life of pi by yann martel
  • half of a yellow sun by chimamanda ngozi adichie
  • in the sea there are crocodiles by fabio geda
  • cold magic by kate elliott *
  • black mamba boy by nadifa mohamed
  • the kite runner by khaled hosseini *
  • a thousand splendid suns by khaled hosseini *
  • the janissary tree by jason goodwin
  • things fall apart by chinua achebe
  • paul faustino series by mal peet
  • the summer prince by alana dawn johnson
  • adaptation by malinda lo *
  • the kane chronicles by rick riordan
  • the unbecoming of mara dyer by michelle hodkin
  • we can be heroes by catherine bruton
  • ash mistry and the savage fortress by sarwat chadda
  • the taliban cricket club by timeri n murari
  • we need new names by noviolet bulawayo +
  • a map of home by randa jarrar +
  • lies we tell ourselves by robin talley *
  • the young elites by marie lu *
  • the lynburn legacy by sarah rees brennan *
  • the lunar chronicles by marissa meyer *
  • captive prince by c s pacat *
  • if you follow me by malena watrous
  • the hundred thousand kingdoms by n k jemisin *
  • the elites by natasha ngan
  • a hero at the end of the world by erin claiborne *
  • everything i never told you by celeste ng *
  • half bad by sally green *
  • jasper jones by craig silvey
  • the game of love and death by martha brockenbrough
  • to all the boys i’ve loved before by jenny han *
  • the wrath and the dawn by renée ahdieh *
  • i’ll meet you there by heather demetrios *
  • the darkest part of the forest by holly black *
  • an ember in the ashes by sabaa tahir
  • santa olivia by jacqueline carey
  • the summer of chasing mermaids by sarah ockler
  • burn for burn by jenny han & siobhan vivian *
  • written in the stars by aisha saeed
  • a thousand nights by e k johnston
  • since you asked by maurine goo
  • rivers of london by ben aaronovitch *
  • the absolutely true diary of a part-time indian by sherman alexie *
  • crazy rich asians by kevin kwan
  • london falling by paul cornell *
  • the rest of us just live here by patrick ness *
  • virals by kathy reichs
  • most likely to succeed by jennifer echols
  • the reluctant fundamentalist by mohsin hamid
  • all fall down by ally carter
  • six of crows by leigh bardugo *
  • ink and ashes by valynne e maetani
  • the king’s harem by megan derr
  • a hundred thousand words by nyrae dawn
  • rot & ruin by jonathan maberry
  • right of first refusal by dahlia adler
  • diverse energies by various
  • serpentine by cindy pon
  • the walled city by ryan graudin *
  • the star touched queen by roshani chokshi *
  • the book of phoenix by nnedi okorafor
  • wolf by wolf by ryan graudin *
  • kulti by mariana zapata *
  • the wall of winnipeg and me by mariana zapata *
  • sorcerer to the crown by zen cho *
  • magnus chase and the gods of asgard by rick riordan *
  • the fixer by jennifer lynn barnes *
  • iron cast by destiny soria *
  • the pack by paul louise-julie *
  • the girl from everywhere by heidi heilig *
  • that thing between eli & gwen by jj mcavoy
  • superior by jessica lack *
  • as i descended by robin talley
  • into the blue by pene henson *
  • the little death by michael nava

sexual diversity

  • someday this pain will be useful to you by peter cameron
  • more than this by patrick ness *
  • how to repair a mechanical heart by jc lillis *
  • know not why by hannah johnson *
  • the coldest girl in coldtown by holly black *
  • aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe by benjamin alire saenz *
  • the miseducation of cameron post by emily m danforth *
  • the song of achilles by madeleine miller *
  • suicide notes by michael thomas ford *
  • ash by malinda lo
  • adaptation by malinda lo *
  • the summer prince by alana dawn johnson
  • will grayson, will grayson by john green & david levithan
  • hero by perry moore *
  • sprout by dale peck *
  • my side of the story by will davis
  • the turn of the story by sarah rees brennan *
  • the demon’s lexicon by sarah rees brennan *
  • lies we tell ourselves by robin talley *
  • what we left behind by robin talley +
  • swordspoint by ellen kushner *
  • golden boy by abigail tarttelin (tw for rape)
  • captive prince by c s pacat *
  • nightrunner series by lynn flewelling
  • grasshopper jungle by andrew smith *
  • i’ll give you the sun by jandy nelson *
  • boyfriends with girlfriends by alex sanchez
  • if you follow me by malena watrous
  • postcards from no man’s land by aiden chambers *
  • have you seen me by katherine scott nelson
  • the hundred thousand kingdoms by n k jemisin *
  • a hero at the end of the world by erin claiborne *
  • kiss the morning star by elissa janine hoole
  • the darkest part of the forest by holly black *
  • unspeakable by abbie rushton
  • the five stages of andrew brawley by shaun david hutchinson
  • daughter of smoke and bone by laini taylor *
  • fan art by sarah tregay
  • the picture of dorian gray by oscar wilde
  • way to go by tom ryan
  • openly straight by bill konigsberg
  • half bad by sally green *
  • the gods of gotham by lyndsay faye *
  • the circle by sara b elfgren and mats strandberg
  • the game of love and death by martha brockenbrough
  • simon vs the homo sapiens agenda by becky albertalli *
  • this is not a love story by keren david
  • dare me by megan abbott *
  • santa olivia by jacqueline carey
  • because you’ll never meet me by leah thomas *
  • libriomancer by jim c hines
  • everything leads to you by nina lacour
  • london falling by paul cornell *
  • the rest of us just live here by patrick ness *
  • my name is n by robert karjel *
  • absolutely positively not by david larochelle
  • david inside out by lee bantle
  • i’ll get there. it better be worth the trip by john donovan
  • far from you by tess sharpe *
  • fans of the impossible life by kate scelsa
  • six of crows by leigh bardugo *
  • the king’s harem by megan derr
  • foxes by suki fleet
  • status update by annabeth albert
  • in focus by megan erickson
  • a hundred thousand words by nyrae dawn
  • cyberlove by megan erickson
  • home and away by samantha wayland
  • bonds of earth by g n chevalier *
  • out of nowhere by roan parrish *
  • understatement of the year by sarina bowen *
  • him by sarina bowen and elle kennedy * (biphobia, homophobia tw)
  • you know me well by david levithan and nina lacour *
  • the backup boyfriend by river jaymes
  • the errant prince by sasha l miller
  • chaos walking by patrick ness *
  • lovers and other strangers by josh lanyon *
  • boy meets boy by david levithan
  • iron cast by destiny soria *
  • don’t look back by josh lanyon *
  • holmes & moriarity by josh lanyon *
  • adrien english mysteries by josh lanyon *
  • stranger on the shore by josh lanyon *
  • i spy something bloody by josh lanyon
  • the roommate situation by zoe x rider
  • hook, line & sinker by piper vaughn
  • a reason to believe by diana copland *
  • scoring chances by avon gale
  • villains inc by various
  • the right words by lane hayes
  • hot head by damon suede
  • dreams and a home by max c payne
  • shuffle, repeat by jen klein
  • the plumber’s mate by jl merrow *
  • mummy dearest by josh lanyon
  • the pirate of fathoms deep by megan derr
  • lone star by josh lanyon *
  • winter by josh lanyon (suicide attempt tw)
  • the ghost wore yellow socks by josh lanyon
  • a ghost of a chance by josh lanyon *
  • the darkling thrush by josh lanyon
  • a case of christmas by josh lanyon
  • wyatt & graham by josh lanyon
  • cards on the table by josh lanyon *
  • in a dark wood by josh lanyon
  • snowball in hell by josh lanyon
  • what remains by garrett leigh
  • winter kill by josh lanyon *
  • the mermaid murders by josh lanyon *
  • dangerous ground by josh lanyon
  • jefferson blythe, esquire by josh lanyon
  • all’s fair by josh lanyon *
  • winning bracket by annabeth albert
  • the king’s harem by megan derr
  • superior by jessica lack *
  • run by kody keplinger
  • night watch by josh lanyon
  • fall hard by jl merrow
  • caught! by jl merrow
  • the two gentlemen of altona by lisa henry
  • caught running by madeleine urban and abigail roux
  • this rough magic by josh lanyon
  • the dark horse by josh lanyon
  • as i descended by robin talley
  • jerkbaiit by mia siegert *
  • into the blue by pene henson *
  • the little death by michael nava
  • the trials of apollo by rick riordan
  • prescott college by lisa henry


  • wonder by rj palacio *
  • corydon and the island of monsters by tobias druitt
  • the revised fundamentals of caregiving by jonathan evison
  • grace williams says it loud by emma henderson
  • the demon’s lexicon by sarah rees brennan *
  • extremely loud and incredibly close by jonathan safran foer
  • cinder by marissa meyer *
  • the shock of the fall by nathan filer *
  • it’s kind of a funny story by ned vizzini *
  • the piper’s son by melina marchetta *
  • saving francesca by melina marchetta *
  • half bad by sally green *
  • the gods of gotham by lyndsay faye *
  • the game of love and death by martha brockenbrough
  • i’ll meet you there by heather demetrios * (slurs tw)
  • half a king by joe abercrombie *
  • trouble is a friend of mine by stephanie tromly
  • far from you by tess sharpe *
  • six of crows by leigh bardugo *
  • foxes by suki fleet
  • bonds of earth by g n chevalier *
  • the year we fell down by sarina bowen (slurs tw)
  • magnus chase and the gods of asgard by rick riordan *
  • no love allowed by kate evangelista
  • the eagle of the ninth by rosemary sutcliff *
  • run by kody keplinger
  • as i descended by robin talley

if i’ve included books that are problematic for some reason, please let me know!

more: bisexual books, asexual characters, more bi books, queer characters and incabeswater made a list here. also check out my book recs tag for other lists.

i will update this list as i

edit, 18/03/15: i have a goodreads shelf for this now. it contains ones i haven’t read as well.


I explored a new forest today. It has been a rainy week, so we found mushrooms hidden all about the damp leafy floor. Clouds hung above the trees and a foggy haze softened the landscape. The autumn equinox was just a couple days ago. I can always feel when the season shifts. The energy and scent of the air changes. This is my favorite time of year. 

Photos by Patricia and Josh Birkholz