In a remote place where the sky meets, a portal opens its mouth wide, and two universes merge inexplicably.
“Rami, who are you wearing tonight?” “Rami do you see marriage on the cards for you and Natalie?” “Rami, when will season three of Mr. Robot premier?”
Hundreds of lights flashed left, right and centre, leaving Natalie feeling slightly blinded. It was her first big event with Rami and she was a little nervous but very excited. She felt like a true celebrity as she hung on Rami’s arm, smiling demurely at the paparazzi.
Honestly, she loves the whole experience. The attention, the amazing hair and makeup, the over the top designer dress and most of all, getting to experience it all with Rami. They had gone public with their relationship a few weeks ago and this was all still relatively new to her.
All eyes were on them it seemed as they entered the venue, and were ushered towards the main hall where the event would be held. Just as they were about to go inside, Rami pulled Natalie to the side. He drags her down a hallway, his eyes scanning the walls for something in particular.
“Where are we going?” She whisper-shouts. Rami doesn’t respond, but comes to a sudden halt when he finds what he’s looking for. Two beautiful Cherrywood doors signposted with gold plaques. The detailing on each, a man and a woman.
He turns and smirks at her. “I’ve always wanted to do this with you.” He takes her by the hand into the women’s room and the door swings shut behind them. He pushes her against the sinks kisses her hard. Natalie understands what’s going on now, and although apprehensive, she can’t help but be on board.
“I hope you realise we’re gonna be late as fuck.” Natalie says as Rami hikes her dress up and gets on his knees. “Who cares, I’m a star.” He jokes as he pulls her underwear to the side in the bathrooms of the lavish venue they’d been invited to that night for a charity event.
Natalie relents, grinning down at her boyfriend. She prepares herself to be reduced to a quivering mess in a public bathroom where any influential member of society could catch them, when she blacks out.
“I might just be high as fuck, but can you see that?” Maria drawls, nudging Josh who is seated next to her as they smoke a joint in the snow. He glances up and squints ahead, trying to spot what his best friend is referring to. He can just about make out a small, dark pile of something and surrounding it, trees that are bent slightly outwards.
“Nah I see it.” He states. “Probably just a dead deer or something.” “Well that’s a weirdly fucking shaped dead deer.” Maria mutters, standing up. “Where are you going?” Josh says, sobering a little at her sudden movement. “To go see what it is obviously.”
Josh groans, grabbing at her wrist. “C’mon, sit down and finish this joint. It’s probably nothing.” Maria ignores the skip in her heart rate and yanks her hand out of his grip, striding towards the object of her curiosity. Josh rolls his eyes, taking one last drag of the joint and tossing it into the snow.
He heaves himself up and wraps his jacket tighter around himself as he follows her. They’re about a foot away from the mysterious thing when they can finally make out what it is. Lying in the snow are the bodies of a man and a woman dressed in damp, expensive looking clothes.
“What the fuck?” Maria murmurs, crouching beside the two and placing two fingers on both their necks where their pulses would be. “They’re alive.” She gasps and begins shaking the woman. “Don’t just stand there like a fucking melon Josh, help!” Josh sighs and squats beside her, shaking the guy. Oddly, he looks a lot like him but older and more mature.
The unconscious pair begin to stir. “Hey! Wakey wakey!” Maria yells, slapping the woman across the face. She sits bolt upright, glaring at Maria. “Who the fuck are you and why the hell did you slap me?” The guy sits up moments later, rubbing his head. “Natalie? Are you alright? Where are we?” He asks, his tone raspy. “No idea, this girl slapped me awake and we’re in some kind of winter wonderland.” “We were in Beverly Hills last I remembered…”
Josh and Maria look at each other with raised eyebrows. “I want what they’re on.” Josh jokes and Maria snorts. They straighten up and the two look up at them. “Who are you and where are we?” Rami asks, helping Natalie up.
“I’m the Mad Hatter and that’s the Queen of Hearts. You’re in Wonderland.” Josh explains dramatically. Maria rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling at the lame joke all the same. “You’re in Blackwood Pines. I’m Maria and this is Josh, who happens to look a fucking lot like you.” She corrects him.
“And where is Blackwood Pines exactly?” Natalie interjects, sounding just as worried as Rami to be in the care of these two clearly high teenagers. “Alberta.” Maria says simply and Rami’s eyes widen. “Alberta… Canada?” He asserts. “Mhm.”
Natalie and Rami stare at each other in shock. “I’d be worried if you weren’t surprised to be honest. You’re not exactly dressed for the weather.” Maria remarks, earning an incredulous look from the obviously out of depth couple. “We’re we drugged? Did you drug us? Are you fans?” Natalie babbled in shock.
“Fans?” Josh snorts. “Who even are you two?” “Have you been living under a rock?” Natalie spits, bristling at the indirect insult to her boyfriend’s success. “Mr. Robot?” “What like, ‘domo arigato Mr. Roboto, domo’?” Maria sniggers, doing the robot dance much to Josh’s amusement.
“No, like the TV show?” Rami tries, hoping to get some kind of recognition so they’d feel more inclined to help them out. “No fucking idea man.” Josh shakes his head.
Rami and Natalie sigh simultaneously in defeat. “Can you at least get us somewhere with WiFi?” Natalie attempts, hoping the two mildly annoying kids will be able to help somehow. “Sure. We can go back to the cabin.” Josh agrees, walking off in the direction they’d come from.
As he led the way, Maria took the liberty of making small talk with the two. “So what are your names? And why are you in the snow dressed like you’re about to go to a Gatsby party?” “I’m Rami and this is my girlfriend Natalie. We were at a charity event and then… I don’t really know what happened but we woke up here.” Rami explains as they trudge through the snow.
“Must have been a wild ass charity event for you to end up in Canada.” “I don’t think it was like that…” Natalie interrupted. “Something must have happened to us.” “Yeah, you got high as fuck and decided to go on a spontaneous trip to Alberta.” Josh contributed from the front of the group.
“Ignore him.” Maria waved him off. “Once we get back to the cabin we’ll give you blankets and clothes and shit and you can use the phone.” “Thank you so much.” Rami smiled. “And sorry for slapping you awake.” Maria grinned sheepishly at Natalie. “I think I’ll be able to forgive you once I’m warm again.” She jokes in response.
“Home sweet home.” Josh announces, gesturing wildly at the cabin.
what she means:i just saw twenty one pilots preform on their emotional road show tour and Tyler stopped to tell us that Josh has a mic that he can talk just to Tyler with during the whole show and he told Tyler that he killed a mosquito out of thin air with a drum stick.
Tyler: I was working at a grocery store, and I worked mainly in the back, just kind of restocking stuff, and Josh was a- well you weren’t even really a cashier- you were more of a bagger. He really didn’t like to do anything with technology, he really just liked the idea of putting certain things in bags. You know, cause there’s a skill to that, you know, what can go with what. You’re not going to put a loaf of bread with milk you can’t do that. So we started out just working at a grocery store together and on our breaks we would go out back and kind of listen to music, and realized that we had the same taste and that all of our songs since then we’ve written about produce and bagging and scanning items.
Interviewer: So Josh, you’re rhythmic sense of music comes from bagging?
Josh: Well my real joy in that job was taking the carts out to people’s cars for them. And as I would put them in people’s cars I did it in kind of motion that was on time, and sometimes I would have a beeping noise in my ear, or the car when you open the door there was a beep and that was my metronome to toss it in.