Perfect Only Last So Long- Tyler Joseph Part Three
No way he was buying this bullshit you were giving him for the past two days. You never acted distant like this. Mainly because if you ever felt this way you could go home and give into your demons. With Tyler here all the time you bottled everything up that you could and put on a smile. Things felt different and you hated everything about yourself. You were supposed to be Tyler’s rock but he noticed how off you’ve been.
“Y/N can we talk for a minute?” he asked as you walked into your room where Tyler sat on your bed.
You nodded your head and sat next to him.
“Are you okay, you’ve been really off and-”
“I’m fine. I promise.” you cut him off and went to stand.
You wanted to talk about it, but you were scared. You wanted to just cry to yourself, that’s how you always made it better for yourself.
You felt him grab your wrist and you stopped but didn’t look at him. “Talk to me. Do you want me to leave? Is this too much at once?” he asked.
“No, no. I’ve just been a little more stressed than usual. I’m okay though.” you gave him a smile that wasn’t all that convincing.
He sighed then let go of your wrist. You walked to the bathroom and quickly shut the door, sliding down it and hugging your knees to your chest. You let your bottled up tears fall. You had been thinking way too much lately about the what if’s. What if Tyler doesn’t love you? What if he is gonna leave you? What if he thinks you’re weird how you get in depressed moods sometimes? What if he knows but doesn’t care? What if things don’t work out?
You must have cried loud enough that Tyler was now at the door.
“Y/N, let me in.” he begged trying to open the door, but you were leaning against it. “I wanna know what’s going on. Please let me in.”
You stood and opened the door. He immediately hugged you squeezing you tight against his chest as you cried hard again. He sat you down with him up against the tub.
“Shh, it’s all going to be okay. We’ll talk when you’re ready.” he soothed you, stroking your hair.
You took a few deep breaths and calmed your body enough to talk.
“I never got to tell you about the meaning of that song the other day.” he said as you laid your head on his shoulder.
You kept listening as he talk and told yourself to calm your breathing.
“So it’s about this girl. This girl is a misbeliever. She doesn’t believe in herself, or when others tell her things, or the world. She looks at life differently and she’s the most beautiful thing in the world. She has such a big heart, but doesn’t see how she’s tearing herself apart. She has a few issues and I see them, but I don’t address them head on, fearing that she’ll shut me out even more. Even though she struggles I want to be there for her no matter what and grow old with her. This girl is my everything and the reason I believe in myself. Even though she doesn’t believe in what she can do, I know she can and will accomplish anything life throws her way.” at this point your breathing was normal and you could think again.
“Thanks Ty.” you whispered.
“You don’t have to thank me. I’m your boyfriend, I’ll be here for you through it all. As long as you let me in.” he said. “Y/N I know that you have a lot going on in that mind of yours, mostly good, but bad too. We all get these voices in our head at some point. It’s doubt and it’s awful.”
“Tyler, it’s really bad right now and I’m scared.” you said and you could hear tears in your voice.
“Shh, don’t cry. I know, I’ve known for a while, but I didn’t know exactly how to crack you open and talk to you. I get it you don’t like talking about stuff like this, but I’m here I’ll always be here when you need it. You don’t have to tell me everything if you don’t want to, but I think you should talk about what’s been going on.”
You took a deep breath before speaking. “Are you going to leave me because of this?”
“Y/N, no. I would never. Like I said before babe, we all have these voices. We just have to talk about it so things don’t built up, so you don’t feel alone.”
“I’m not alone that’s the issue.” you said. “Usually I would never act this way in front of you because I could go home or you would leave and I could cry to myself and let it all go.”
“You can cry in front of me. We’re human, we have emotions, we get depressed. Don’t be scared I would never leave you just because you’re human Y/N.” he said wiping a tear that fell down your cheek.
“I don’t really know why I get like this sometimes, but I just feel like I have to put on a smile and fake my happiness.” you started and Tyler held you hand while listening. “Before I met you I was really depressed and alone and it was really bad. When we started talking I felt like I found some sun light in my life. As our relationship built I forced myself to be happy for you, I thought you wouldn’t like the old me. I know it’s dumb, but I just want to be perfect for you, because you’re perfect to me.”
“It’s not dumb. You’re perfect, always have been and always will be to me. You don’t have to fake with me. I want you to be the Y/N you want to be.” he said and you two sat there quiet for a minute.
“Does this girl have a name?” you asked softly.
“What?” he asked confused to what you were referring to.
“The girl in the song? Did you name her?”
“I didn’t have to name her, she already has a name. Her name is Y/F/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, my Ms. Believer.”
A/N- I know it was short, but I could really use some feed back on my writing. I’ve been struggling and I don’t think you guys like what I’m putting out anymore. I’m not saying everyone, but tell me what you like and dislike. It really helps. Love you all.
Fans in attendance at the Schott tonight have spotted white and blue confetti in addition to the usual red confetti. This could hint at a new era beginning tonight and a possible new album/song reveal/tease.
NØTE: cliqueconspiracy is NOT in Columbus tonight, and cannot confirm that this is true. However, it would make sense.
FURTHER UPDATE: The entire arena went red a few minutes ago, signifying the end of the Blurryface era.
LAST UPDATE: Red confetti was released last night, meaning that the blue and white that was seen could have been left over from other events at the arena. The release of only red confetti also makes sense, as a final farewell to Blurryface in the album’s signature color.
At the moment, the significance of the WAIT_s has not been revealed, meaning that Easter eggs and clues to new music could be out there.
twenty one pilots ended the blurryface era by playing the last show of tour de columbus on june 25th 2017.
this era changed a lot for us and for them. they’ve gotten countless awards such as their first ever grammy in 2017. they played sold out arenas worldwide including two sold out shows at madison square garden in new york.
on the last show of the blurryface era, tyler changed the lyrics to “i want to say goodbye” during trees.
- he’s proud of us
- Jenna had to show him how to use the live video
- he was in his woods, he goes there a lot, and even though it’s his personal space, he “let us in there for a little bit” (not exact quote, but close enough)
- he’s proud of us
- he bought a leafblower and thanked us for it
- he’s proud of us
- he never had to buy a leafblower before, because he never had his own place where leaves could fall, so he never needed one. but now he does, because of us
- he’s proud of us
- he and Josh didn’t go to the Billboard awards because it would have been hard to organise it (and also he didn’t really want to go either)
- he doesn’t really like music awards
- when he was younger, he had to show his music to house guests whenever someone was over. he never wanted to, but sometimes he still showed them his music. every time he did, he was happier afterwards.
- he feels like they wouldn’t be here now without us giving them a little nudge to keep doing there music
(- also I think he might have said something like he wouldn’t even be here at all, but I didn’t fully understand that sentence)
- he’s proud of us
- he’s asking us to be patient with them, they are working on new music (!!!)
- he saw a deer walking by, he went to find it
- he had a bit trouble with turning off the live stream, but eventually did it