jose florentino

Real Madrid as Harry Potter characters

Cristiano Ronaldo as Harry Potter

The living legend that everyone knows, the Chosen One. Some people love him, some hate him to death (mainly Voldemort and culés). Saves the world most of the time, loves his house (club). Unlike real Harry, doesn’t have the scar (he thanks God for it every morning).

James Rodríguez as Ginny Weasley

Desperately in love with Harry (Cris) since Day 1. At the first sight quiet and shy, but actually very skilled in combat and will never step down. Doesn’t need protection, can take care of himself (well, except that one time with the basilisk, you know).

Fábio Coentrao as Ron Weasley

In love with Cris as well (but let’s just call them best friends). Mostly lives in Cris’ shadow but he’ll content himself with less fame and more family happiness. Let’s be honest, every big wizard needs a friend like this.

Isco as Hermione Granger

The brightest wizard of his age, talented, also really badass. Doesn’t really like breaking the rules, but understands that sometimes it’s necessary. Kinda awkward when it comes to relationships other than friendship, but would never leave a person in need behind.

Gareth Bale as Hagrid

The giant that loves Cristiano, James, Fábio… hell, everyone. But he prefers to protect them and watch over them than mingle in their teenage loves.

Marcelo&Pepe as Fred&George

Inseparable, with their own sense of humor that tends to be dangerous. Their friends love them, the professors (referees) not that much.

Asier Illarramendi as Nymphadora Tonks

People sometimes think of him as of the clumsiest person in the world and generally underestimate him, but he truly loves his friends and would die for them. He’s still a big child inside, though.

Karim Benzema as Madame Maxime

You don’t want to mess with him - there is a kind heart underneath the imposing exterior, but still, making a half-giant angry is never a good idea.

Sergio Ramos as Sirius Black

The guy that always gets into problems, though not always it’s his fault. Would die for his friends and mainly for his godson (Cris). True Marauder, no pranks no fun, acts first, thinks later.

Luka Modrić as Neville Longbottom

The one with sad childhood, the one everyone used to make fun of. At the beginning, nobody thought he could be big. But he grew up into a great wizard always ready to help his friends.

Toni Kroos as Luna Lovegood

The kind one, somehow odd but extremely loyal and supportive. Doesn’t belong into the immediate pack of Cristiano’s suitors, but he values his friendship highly.

Raphael Varane as Fleur Delacour

The French beauty that people tend to underestimate, but Beauxbatons (aka French NT) taught him enough to be ready to fight a war. Proud and fierce, but with a good heart.

Lucas Silva as Colin Creevey

Most of the time just observes and is starstruck by Cristiano (and pretty much everyone that comes near him).

Keylor Navas as Remus Lupin

People used to be suspicious towards him, but he eventually won most of their hearts. Very skilled and brave, a bit socially awkward, generally the uncle-figure.

Jesé Rodríguez as Viktor Krum

Was a Quidditch star at a young age, then injuries interrupted his career, but he is still destined to achieve great things.

Daniel Carvajal as Seamus Finnigan

Friendly and loyal, also skillful, though you never know when he makes something explode accidentally.

Álvaro Arbeloa as Peeves

Annoys pretty much everyone, everyone wants him gone, but he refuses to move.

Martin Odegaard as Albus Severus Potter

We don’t know what he will become yet, but Hogwarts surely can make him big.

Nacho Fernández as Lavender Brown

Stands in the background most of the time, but wants the attention and love. Also, very loyal and more brave than anyone thinks.

Casemiro as Dean Thomas

Muggle-born, but learns quickly. Working hard to get his place in the Quidditch team.

Denis Cheryshev as Nigel Wolpert

Starstruck by Cristiano even more than Colin Creevey (Lucas Silva), not regarded very highly but actually is quite skillful.

Florentino as Lord Voldemort

Do you need me to explain this?

Notable former members

Iker Casillas as Cedric Diggory

The embodiment of all Hogwarts’ values, true champion, brave, clever, loving, kind. Killed by Voldemort.

Álvaro Morata as Oliver Wood

Talented Quidditch player that didn’t quite live up to his potential at Hogwarts, but made a decent career elsewhere. He later returned to Hogwarts for the final battle and Voldemort didn’t like it at all.

José Mourinho as Severus Snape

Hated by some, adored by others (mainly the Slytherins of course). Achieved great things but could probably do even better if some people weren’t spoiling it. Killed by Voldemort (what a surprise).

Guti as Gilderoy Lockhart

His looks and quotes sometimes outshone his deeds. The sex symbol of the wizarding world.

Request a team and/or a show!

List of my recastings so far

Real Madrid as The Hunger Games characters

Requested by anon.

Florentino as President Snow

Do I need to comment on this? Well, Florentino doesn’t kill little children for the entertainment of his people, but the stuff his club does to poor districts like Deportivo or Granada is pretty close.

Carlo Ancelotti as Plutarch Heavensbee

The games are his making, but he has a very specific approach. Some people love him, some hate him, he doesn’t give a damn. And President Snow (Florentino) was in for an unpleasant surprise…

Iker Casillas as Katniss Everdeen

Willing to do anything to protect his family, would volunteer for ten people if he could. Has the skills to win the Games but his self-confidence equals zero. Trusts no one, and rightfully so.

Luka Modric as Peeta Mellark

You just can’t hate him, because he doesn’t give you the smallest reason. He wants the good ending for everyone, is willing to sacrifice himself. Just the type that will feed you when you’re dying of hunger and hold you if you’re having nightmares, but in the arena, he definitely won’t be going around killing people, so you’ll have to do it yourself.

Sergio Ramos as Gale Hawthorne

Katniss’ (Iker’s) bff, who can’t bear to watch Iker fall apart. Is tough and rebellious, but sometimes fucks up royally. Deep inside warm and caring, but his views on things often differ from Iker’s.

Fábio Coentrao as Effie Trinket

The one with a rather terrible style, the one that has simply no clue about what real life looks like and generally people think he’s a little bit dumb, but he has potential, can make genius plans and he’s capable of great love once you get to him.

James Rodríguez as Rue

The cute one you’d give no chances to, but actually not entirely helpless. Sneaky and skilled, but needs someone to take care of him and protect him. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t cry for him.

Cristiano Ronaldo as Glimmer

The sexy one of the Games. People either adore him or hate him, but truth is, you’d want this one as an ally and it’s not a good thing to cross his way in the Arena.

Toni Kroos as Primrose Everdeen

The one everyone wants to protect. Looks harmless and fragile, but truth his he can take care of himself and also help others. Cares deeply about his family.

Keylor Navas as Cinna

Valuable part of the team, but stays in the background. Supportive of his teammates, has done amazing things and will be remembered.

Marcelo as Thresh

Everyone thinks he’s a ruthless killer but actually he has moral values and compassion deep inside - he cares about his own people, at least.

Pepe as Cato

Kills whatever/whoever gets in his way. The weak ones simply don’t deserve to survive.

Karim Benzema as Clove

Sometimes overlooked because of other tributes, but still deadly. Cruel killer that only comes to the arena to win. Loner by nature, but able to form alliances.

Isco as Foxface

The sneaky, intelligent one that keeps out of the worst scrummage and then delivers a surprising blow. Rarely makes a mistake, but when he does, it’s a fatal one.

Gareth Bale as Marvel

Career tribute, very skilled. A valuable part of the career pack. Didn’t quite fulfill the expectations.

Chicharito as Beetee

Everyone makes fun of him, nobody wants him as an ally, and then… boom. You thank God he saved your ass.

Lucas Silva as Cressida

Is great at observing everyone around him, but you don’t actually see him. Almost.

Asier Illarramendi as Buttercup

Sorry, I had to.

Notable former members

Guti as Haymitch Abernathy

Because who else has ever had so much swag, right? His parties are legendary, some of his quotes as well, and you’d be in the endless dilemma if him being your mentor is helping you win or be dead in minutes.

David Beckham as Finnick Odair

The ultimate sex symbol, still popular with the ladies. He has his true love, Annie… oh, I mean Victoria, at home, though.

José Mourinho as Alma Coin

Great leader that has success, his people (mostly) respect him, he doesn’t give up, hates failure and generally the whole world. But in all honesty, you don’t want him to rule your country. No. Trust me. You don’t.

Álvaro Morata as Johanna Mason

Pretended he was “a weakling and a coward”, so no one regarded him as a threat, but when only a few tributes remained in the UCL, he revealed himself as a vicious killer.


Request a team and/or a show/movie!

REAL MADRID I JUST CAN'T. I SUPPORT THIS FUCKING CLUB SINCE I WAS KID. YES, I HAD A BREAK BUT I CAME BACK. I CRIED WHEN WE SOLD RAUL, WHEN WE SOLD HIGUAIN, WHEN WE SOLD OZIL. I CAN GET THROUGH SELLING PLAYERS. BUT BUYING JAMES AND SELLING DI MARIA. NOBODY EVER HEARD FOR HIM BEFORE WORLD CUP. KHEDIRA? REALLY? WHO WILL BE NEXT? RAMOS? ALONSO? ARBELOA BECAUSE HE IS "DESTROYING" CLUB AND HE LOVES CLUB FROM BOTTOM OF HIS HEART? TELL ME WHO WILL BE NEXT?

Because for me, club is a family. Maybe I’m too emotional, but Real you dissapoint me more and more every fucking day.