jordan actually said this

The dingonek is a scaly, scorpion-tailed, saber-toothed cryptid allegedly seen in the African Congolese jungles (primarily those of the Democratic Republic), and yet another in a long line of West African cryptids—such as the Chipekwe, the Jago-nini and the Emela-ntouka. At the Brakfontein ridge, Western Cape in South Africa is a cave painting of an unknown creature that fits the description of the dingonek, right down to its walrus-like tusks.

It is said to be exceedingly territorial and has been known to kill any hippos, crocodiles and even unwary fishermen, who have had the misfortune of wandering too close to their aquatic nests.

Said to dwell in the rivers and lakes of western Africa, the Dingonek has been described as being grey or red, 3 to 6 metres (9-18 feet) in length, with a squarish head, sometimes a long horn, saber-like canines—which has resulted in its nickname the “Jungle Walrus"—and a tail complete with a bony, dart-like appendage, which is reputed to be able to secrete a deadly poison. This creature is also said to be covered head-to-toe in a scaly, mottled epidermis, which has been likened to the prehistoric-looking Asian anteater known as the pangolin. The description by John Alfred Jordan, an explorer who said that he actually shot at this unidentified monster in the River Maggori in Kenya in 1907, claimed this scale-covered creature was as big as 18 feet long and had reptilian claws, a spotted back, long tail, and a big head out of which grew large, curved, walrus-like tusks. A shot with a .303 only served to anger it.

Cafe Lovin' Part 2

Requested by: anonymous

Summary: you and Jordan are friends and you work at a small cafe. Jordan thinks that you and Josh have a lot in common and tries to set you guys up. 

Masterlist

Your Pov:

“Hello.” The voice asked me. 

“H-hi.” I said to the voice my voice shaky. 

“Who is this?” The person asked me.

“Um, my name is Y/N.” I told him. “I don’t know if you remember me or not but we met at a party that was held at your house. I’m really great friends with your brother, Jordan.” 

“Oh my God.” Josh said. “I can’t believe you actually called.” He sounded suprized. 

I gave a light chuckle. “Yeah, your brother gave me your number today when he visited me at work.” I told him. “He said that you really liked me?” I questioned wanting desperately to know if it was true or not. 

“Yeah.” Josh said. “I like you a lot and I think your really cool.” He told me honesty. I was about to say something but he cut me off. 

“I’m not normally this confident but I’ll give it a go.” He said with a slight chuckle. “Would you like to go on a date with me?” He asked me. His voice slightly shaking. 

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From Con to Con (Part Three)

Part One

Part Two

A/N: Still amazed by all the love you guys are giving me! I have to keep pinching myself to make sure I’m not dreaming and you actually like my story. Hope you enjoy this third part!

Pairing: Rob Benedict x Reader

Warnings: angst, cheating boyfriends, language, drinking

Word Count: 3,296

Tags: @dont-hate-relate-pls, @nekodresden85, @baritonechick, @i-dont-understand-that-url, @sympathyforluci, @crowley-you-sinnamon-roll, @authoressskr, @your-not-invisible-to-me, @cantchooseonefandom, @chelseypaigeake, @crowleysminion, @laffytaffyhumor, @smoothdogsgirl, @destiel-addict-forever, @multifandomlove2002, @agent-superwholockian, @b-northington, @waywardswain, @prettyboy-spn, @oriona75, @thatone67chevyimpala, @kazchester-fanfiction, @atc74, @derivedfromapho@shititskatelyn

Forever tags: @eileenlikesyou-maybe

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The Bodyguard (Saphael)

So @raphaelsantiagosavedhimself sent me this prompt and it took me a while to write it because it got way bigger than I had planned but I hope you like it! Love you!!!

Description: In which Simon accepts the offer to be Raphael’s bodyguard.

I have a job offer for you,” said Raphael.

“Seriously? You short-staffed at the hotel?”

“I need a bodyguard.”

Simon eyed him. “Have you been watching The Bodyguard? Because I am not going to fall in love with you and carry you around in my burly arms.”

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anonymous asked:

what did the fosters say about yolanda?

Just his kids, I don’t think David has said anything negative about her publicly. Erin, Sara, and Jordan said that they didn’t believe Yolanda was actually sick because she couldn’t be that ill and still film a TV show.  Basically saying she was faking a deadly illness for attention. 

But Yolanda, wasn’t even in every episode when she was still on RHOBH and when she was on she was either in her house or on bed rest. She wasn’t really active in anything until towards the end when she started to get better.

Dingonek

The Dingonek is a scaly, scorpion-tailed, saber-toothed cryptid found in the African Congolese jungles. At the Brakfontein ridge, Western Cape in South Africa is a cave painting of an unknown creature that fits the description of the Dingonek, right down to its walrus-like tusks

It is said to be exceedingly territorial and has been known to kill any hippos, crocodiles and even humans, who have had the misfortune of wandering too close to their aquatic nests.

Said to dwell in the rivers and lakes of western Africa, the Dingonek has been described as:

  • Being grey or red.
  • 3 to 6 metres in length.
  • Square-like head.
  • Sometimes a long horn.
  • Saber-like canines.
  • Tail complete with a bony, dart-like appendage, which is reputed to be able to secrete a deadly poison.
  • Covered in scaly, mottled epidermis.

The description by John Alfred Jordan, an explorer who said that he actually shot at this unidentified monster in the River Maggori in Kenya in 1907, claimed this scale-covered creature was as big as 18 feet long and had reptilian claws, a spotted back, long tail, and a big head out of which grew large, curved, walrus-like tusks. A shot with a .303 only angered it.

4

‘So, how’d you… shift?’ Jordan asked, looking around at Derek with a slightly confused expression on his face.

Derek rolled his eyes, but before he could say anything you’d cut across him to explain things to your brother.

‘Anger tends to be the big one,’ you rattled off, having started to look through old supernatural books since it had been suggested Jordan was a supernatural of some kind. ‘But it can be anything really - though the full moon appears to be a pain. Also, they can control it if they concentrate on an anchor.’

Your brother looked at you with a slightly raised eyebrow, but your focus was on Derek, who looked impressed.

‘Can I get the professional’s opinion, please?’ Jordan asked, causing you to hit his shoulder lightly.

‘Actually, that’s right,’ said Derek, sounding slightly taken aback.

‘Well of course,’ you said, smiling smugly as you looked up at him. He smirked at you, nodding slightly as Jordan looked at you slightly dumbfounded.

A/N: I just found the gifs on Google so credit goes to their respective owners, I added the text.

My friend and I were discussing the Fantastic Four reboot and gushing over how cute Michael B. Jordan is and she said:

“Thankfully this time they’ve actually chosen someone hot to play the Human Torch, I haven’t seen the original films in a while but I remember Johnny was played by an Adam Sandler looking guy.”

“Adam Sandler looking guy.”

“Adam Sandler looking guy.”

“Adam Sandler looking guy.”

ok so theres this part on season 2 episodes 9 (of toms pov) which i just find really nice.

tom’s doing his usually shouting shenanigans and he just yells “JORDAN SHUT YOUR PENIS HOLE” and jordan replies “i don’t actually have a muscle that can control that”.

and then tom continues to go on about how he likes that jordan just went with it and replied to what he actually said and didn’t just go ‘wat???’.

idk i think that sums them up pretty well and its really frickin cute

Definitely Not A Cliché High School Love Story - Chapter 18

Y’all thought you wouldn’t see the day. The extended version of Connor’s dream/memory can be found here.

Chapter 17


“What are you doing?” Connor asked frowning, glancing up at Jude. His boyfriend was standing above him, holding an ancient looking camera in front of his face. In response to Connor’s question, he clicked a button and a small piece of paper came out from the bottom of the camera. Jude took it and looked at it fondly, and Connor couldn’t help but stare at him in complete awe; how his hair, that was messier than ever (he proudly took credit for that), fell into his face, how his dark eyes lit up and the corner of his mouth curled up when he looked at the photo he’d taken.

“Look at your confused face, it’s adorable,” Jude said and handed the picture to his boyfriend. Connor stared at the polaroid with the same puzzled expression, which made Jude giggle, so he snapped another one.

“Hey, stop,” Connor pretended to be mad but he sit up and grabbed Jude by the waist and tackled him.

Jude landed on the bed with a dull thud and Connor on top of him. “Hey!” Jude exclaimed, holding onto his camera. Connor just laughed and sit on Jude’s stomach and took it out of his hand. He observed it for a while, then spoke up, “This is hands down the most hipster thing you own. And I’ve seen your wardrobe.”

Jude looked at him with the sassiest face he could pull. “Shut up and give it back,” he reached for the camera but Connor held it up above his head where Jude couldn’t get to it.

“I’d rather not,” Connor smirked. “Say ‘cheese’!” Jude rolled his eyes but flashed a smile at his boyfriend and Connor snapped a photo.

“Show it to me,” Jude said eagerly but Connor ignored him. He thought it came out quite good but he missed that spark from Jude’s eyes.

Luckily, he had an idea how to achieve what he wanted. He carefully put the camera down next to Jude’s head, then put his hand on Jude’s chest and leaned down to kiss him. It was just a peck at first, but then Jude lifted himself up to his elbows, and passionately pressed their lips together. Connor’s hands found their way into Jude’s hair as he parted his lips and slipped his tongue in the boy’s mouth.

Connor didn’t know how long they’d been making out until he pulled away to catch his breath. Jude’s lips were red and he looked at him exactly the way he hoped for.

Like he was in love.

Connor’s stomach shifted and he opened his mouth to say something, but the words wouldn’t want to come out, he was too scared. He quickly picked up the polaroid camera instead and took another picture of Jude, which earned him a look of disapproval by the other boy. A warm feeling swept through Connor’s entire body as he stared at photo of Jude. It was a bit blurry but Connor couldn’t care less, to him, it was the perfect shot of the perfect boy.

He caught Jude’s curious glance from the corner of his eyes, so he showed him the picture. Jude studied it for a little bit, then softly said, “You can keep it. If you want.”

A cheeky grin spread across Connor’s face. “You can bet your ass I’m keeping it, Foster.”

“Adams Foster,” Jude corrected as he gathered the photos and grabbed the camera and put them on his night drawer. He couldn’t move too much with Connor stranding him but he didn’t mind having him on top of him.

Connor snorted. “Your name is way too long, Jude Adams Foster,” he mocked. “Now c’mere,” and he lowered his head and kissed Jude again. The kiss was slow and sweet at first but something changed when Connor bit Jude’s lower lip and started sucking on it, making Jude let out a low groan and tug on Connor’s hair. Connor smiled at his boyfriend’s reaction, then slid his fingers under Jude’s T-Shirt and put his hands on his bare chest, above his racing heart.

Connor’s eyes flew open at the memory that appeared in his dream so vividly. He was lying in a puddle of his own saliva and he had a pounding headache. He slightly lifted himself from the bed and looked around in the dark room; it wasn’t his room, it was Jordan’s. He rubbed his eyes while trying to remember what the hell happened the night before but like most of the time after drinking, his mind was blank.

“’Morning!” Jordan exclaimed all of a sudden as he pulled the curtains back, making Connor almost fall off the bed. The daylight poured into the room and Connor had to cover his eyes.

“The fuck,” Connor groaned and sat up. Jordan was standing in front of him in last night’s outfit. He looked worn out, he had dark circles under his eyes and his hair was messy, which was unusual for him. “I feel like death,” Connor said in a raspy morning voice and started massaging his temple.

“The good news is you’re not dead but you’re gonna wish you were, dude,” Jordan replied and awkwardly slid his hands in his pockets.

Oh, shit. Now it wasn’t just his head that was violently pounding. “How did I get here? And why am I here?” Connor asked apprehensively.

Jordan let out a sigh. “I thought you wouldn’t remember,” Jordan’s face was unreadable and that made Connor even more nervous. What the hell could’ve gone down in one night? “What’s your last memory?”

Connor furrowed his brows, he had to think long and hard about it. “Doing vodka shots with you in the kitchen. After that, nothing,” he replied honestly.

“Shit,” Jordan blurted and ran his fingers through his hair. “Okay, it’s a good thing you’re sitting. After the vodka shots, we went into the living room…,” Connor had a lump in his throat the whole time he was listening to his best friend telling him what happened that night. How he freaked out after seeing Jude, the drinking, the crying, his complete breakdown, everything. When Jordan got to the part where Connor was fighting with his dad, he stopped.

“What, Jordy? What happened?” Connor asked in a muffled voice, fearing the worst.

Jordan looked down at his feet. “You said some pretty harsh things, both of you did. There was a lot of shouting and,” he stopped for a moment and took a deep breath, “and you basically told him you were gay,” Jordan breathed.

Connor’s stomach twisted and he suddenly felt dizzy. His worst fear had come true. “What did he say?” He asked anxiously.

Jordan squeezed his eyes shut. “He kicked you out.” It pained him to say those words to his best friend.

Connor let out a whimper, then lay back down on the bed and curled into a ball.

He told him and he kicked him out.

His dad kicked him out.

He wanted to cry but his body was so dehydrated he couldn’t, so instead he was just lying there, shaking.

“Hey,” he felt Jordan’s touch on his arm. “If it makes you feel any better, I think your delivery was the problem.”

Connor turned his head and glared at Jordan. “What do you mean?” He questioned weakly.

Jordan grimaced. “Should I even tell you this? I probably should. You told him, - and I’m quoting you here -, ‘I fucked my boyfriend on your precious couch’.”

Connor’s eyes widened in horror. “Please tell me you’re joking. I mean, I’ll totally kick your ass but tell me that wasn’t actually what I said.”

“I’m sorry, bro,” Jordan replied apologetically.

Connor took the pillow from underneath his head and buried his face in it. He wanted to scream but he figured that would probably make his headache worse.

“My parents won’t be back for a few days and my mom said you can hang here until then, but…what are you gonna do?” Jordan asked delicately.

In response, Connor grunted, then lowered the pillow. “I need to talk to Jude and my dad. If they want to talk to me, and that’s a big if, Jordy.”

Jordan heaved a sigh of relief and a small smile crept on his face. “I was hoping you would say that.”

Connor frowned. “Why?”

“’Cause I might have called Jude and he might arrive in ten minutes,” he replied, smirking.

Connor’s breath hitched and he sat up straight. “What?! How and why would you do that?” He shrieked.

“I borrowed your phone, what’s the big deal?” Jordan asked in confusion.

“What’s-…what’s the big deal?! When I said I wanted to talk to him I didn’t mean it like right now! Besides, what’s the point in talking to Jude before my father?!” Connor burst out. He couldn’t believe Jordan would do something so stupid.

Jordan’s face turned red. “I just thought you wanted to get him back. I’m sorry, Connor.” He was genuinely sorry. He might have not understood what Connor saw in that guy but he figured he was an important person to his friend.

“Just call him back and tell him something came up,” Connor said as he stood up and looked around searching for his shoes. He found them by the door and he started putting them on.

“But he will hate you if you cancel on him now,” Jordan stated as he made his way to the door. He leaned against the frame while Connor was busy tying his shoelaces.

“He kind of already does, it won’t make that much of a difference,” Connor replied when he finished with his shoes. He placed his hands on his friends shoulder and firmly looked into his eyes when he said, “I have to go home and fix this shit with my dad, Jordy.”

“What are you even going to say, man?”

“I don’t know, I guess I’ll just go with the flow,” Connor answered. He didn’t have a plan, he just wanted to have a one on one, man to man conversation with his father for once. No bullshit, just the truth.

Jordan nodded but he looked worried. “If something goes wrong, just come back here and we’ll figure out the rest.” Connor smiled softly. If everything else failed, he could always count on his best friend. “But don’t think I forgot about what I said last night. My mom said it would be ‘unethical’ for her to treat you since she’s known you for like ten years but she promised she would find you a great therapist,” Jordan continued.

“Thanks,” Connor whispered. He didn’t want to tell Jordan that there was no way he would go see a shrink. Maybe some other time. “I need to borrow your car, though.”

“Sure, go,” and Jordan gave him his keys.

“Thanks again, for everything,” Connor said, then rushed outside and hopped into Jordan’s car.

He was driving fast, he needed to see his dad as soon as possible. His thoughts were too loud, though, so he turned on the radio. A woman with a quite pleasant voice was singing and Connor tapped along. He didn’t pay attention to the lyrics until he had to stop at a red light.

This is my fight song

Take back my life song

Prove I’m alright song

My power’s turned on

Starting right now I’ll be strong

He knew it was silly but he felt really empowered by that. He was going to fight like hell to take his life back.


song: Rachel Platten - Fight Song