for ur consideration

-rookie sees hot lifeguard jpg being a lifeguard
-rookie decides that if he pretends to drown then hot lifeguard jpg will have to come rescue him and carry him in his strong loving flippers and maybe even give him mouth to mouth (beak to beak?)
-good plan rookie youre a fucking genius. a gay genius
-rookie shouts Oh Nooo Im Drowning!!!! and falls back into the water
-forgets hes wearing a life jacket
-falls onto the water and just. floats there staring up at the sky contemplating his life choices