jones bottles


Your Daily Killian Pick-Me-Up ⚓ [Day 246]

The Introspective Alt-Right Drinking Game

Take a shot if:
- You reblog Julius Evola
- You’ve actually read Julius Evola, take another shot
- You reblog Yukio Mishima
- You’ve actually read any Yukio Mishima outside of Sun & Steel, take another shot
- You have confusing sexual feelings for Yukio Mishima, take two additional shots
- You reblog Nazi stuff für die Ästhetik
- You reblog Nazi stuff for trolling and/or irony
- You reblog Nazi stuff because you’re actually a Nazi, take another shot
- You have a uniform fetish
- You have a braids fetish
- You have a farmboy/farmgirl fetish
- You reblog Milo Yiannopoulos for trolling, take another shot
- You actually like Milo Yiannopoulos, take a shot and hit yourself with the bottle
- Alex Jones
- You voted for Donny J. Trump
- You are a Russian hacker KGB cybergopnik
- You think Pope Francis is a Masonic plant
- You will only attend Mass in Latin
- You are an unironic Monarchist
- You are a Jacobite, Carlist, or some other weird dynastic fanboy no one actually likes, take another shot
- You are High Energy
- No brown gf
- You are NazBol
- You are an actual National Bolshevik, drink half the bottle
- Bashar al-Assad
- You knew CNN was Fake News before it was cool
- Add your own!

Disclaimer: Attempting this will likely result in impaired judgement, blindness, liver failure, death, shitposting, and being late for work in the morning. User discretion advised.

Hey @its-the-cinnamon-crow another game for that cider.

@ad-parnassum @forthesenateandpeople @crownedpatriot @southronnationalist @byzantinesambo


WEEKLY SHOP FEATURE: Hand Painted ‘Coraline’ Bottle 

By: TheLittlestPurpleCat
This hand painted bottle portrays the characters from Neil Gaiman’s story Coraline. These characters include the Other Mother, Coraline Jones, Other Wybie, and the cat. It bares the Coraline logo and is tagline ‘Be careful what you wish for…’ It is done in Acrylic paint and covered with an acrylic sealer. This Product is not dishwasher safe, and is not to be used for food products. Product is approximately nine inches tall.
Available for purchase on Etsy:

Message in a Bottle (1/4?)

Prompt:  I found a cute little message in a bottle you wrote when you were little and decided to come find you and share it with you but god I didn’t expect you to be so hot wth AU

 Thanks to @nothingimpossibleonlyimprobablefor continuously poking, prodding, threatening, bribing, and otherwise pushing me to write and post this.  I really wouldn’t have kept going without it.

ps - “cute” - I’m not entirely sure what that word means.  The definition is something like “heartbreaking”, right?
(not nearly as heartbreaking as Never Say Goodbye, I promise.)
tagging: @lenfaz, @shady-swan-jones, @woofiefangirl

Also on AO3 and FFN (the formatting is way better on AO3)

Chapter 1: Adrift

October 23, 1992

Dear Prince Charming,

Well, you’ll probably be Captain Hook anyway, knowing my luck.  My name is Emma Swan, it’s my birthday today, and I’m in 4th grade.  My teacher says we have to write these letters so we can throw them in the Charles River and see how far they go once they make it to the ocean.  I don’t think anyone is going to find mine.  Nothing cool like that ever happens to me, so it doesn’t really matter what I write.  

I’m living with the Klock Kluczk “Klutch-cow-skies” this month.  They suck.  I miss living with Mrs. Welch.  Her husband wasn’t around that much, and I guess it’s cuz he liked another lady better.  But he was better than Mr. Klocz… he wants me to call him “daddy”, but I don’t have one of those.  Or a mom.

Anyway, we’re supposed to ask a question so that you have something to answer when you find this.  In the ocean.  Which is huge.  So it’s never gonna happen.  Caroline’s will probably get found.  Or Mikey’s.  The cool stuff always happens to them.  They each have a mom and a dad and Christmas presents and brand new clothes that no one else has worn.  I bet they never had to pack in a trash bag.

So my question is this.  If you’re reading this, and you are a Prince Charming… or even if you’re Captain Hook, can you come save me or kidnap me or something?  Come take me away, I don’t care where.  I just want someone to adopt… never mind, this was stupid anyway.

Emma Swan
10 Guest St
Home for Little Wanderers

Boston, MA

Keep reading

Happy Saturday shipmates!

Here is this week’s list of stories and chapters. Happy reading!

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captain swan big bang (#csbb)



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Fic Flashback| One-Shot Heaven

the signs as places in spongebob

aries: the krusty krab
taurus: sandy’s treedome
gemini: gary’s shell
cancer: the chum bucket
leo: the flying dutchman’s ship
virgo: mr krabs’ safe
libra: patrick’s rock
scorpio: spongebob’s pineapple
sagittarius: makeout reef
capricorn: davy jones’ locker
aquarius: the bottle containing the krabby patty secret formula
pisces: squidward’s house