jonathan-christ

the signs as shit my english teacher has said

aries: if you start you essay with “In the book The Great Gatsby…” im gonna throw you out that window 

taurus: elvish looks nothing like that

gemini: when we get back, you’re playing the trumpet or I’m failing you

cancer: oh I forget this class doesn’t get irony

leo: I’m definitely lawful good, c’mon, have you met me?

virgo: you guys know what raisins are right?

libra: *uses the word ‘artifice’ 13 times in 3 sentences* 

scorpio: “Jesus Christ” Just Jonathan will do, thanks

sagittarius: I wonder if [Ryan Ross]’s an asshole

capricorn: I respect any song that has heavy breathing as a bass line

aquarius: I fucking hate sublime, like we get it. you smoked weed once and it was cool

pisces: Hamlet’s long, but he’s worth it

7

Avenged Sevenfold (A7X) - M. Shadows (Matthew Charles Sanders) , Zacky Vengeance (Zachary James Baker), Synyster Gates (Brian Elwin Haner, Jr.), Johnny Christ (Jonathan Lewis Seward) & Brooks Wackerman @ Hard Rock Stadium, Miami Gardens, FL, on Friday, July 7, 2017.

The Stage #Tour #Setlist:

The Stage
Afterlife
Hail to the King
Almost Easy
Buried Alive
Bat Country
Nightmare
God Damn
Unholy Confessions

4

New (OLD) photos of Zacky (and the boys) in Europe. Man seeing Jimmy in photos and videos made me tear up.

an open letter to cishet white christians

how the characters of the bible are portrayed matter
portraying jesus and the israelites as brown semitic people matters
portraying zipporah and simon of cyrene as black matters
portraying david and jonathan as gay matters
this is something i’ve noticed in films and shows and pictures so much and i realize for a straight white person it seems nonsensical when people get so upset over these characters not being represented this way in media, but for people who are semitic, or are black, or are gay, IT MATTERS.
it matters because these characters are the only representation we have in a book that we consider to be the holy word of God
it matters because when you say “oh it’s okay to portray them this way” you aren’t engaging in historical or textual debate of whether these characters “really were” any of these traits. you’re telling us “yeah it’s possible they were minorities. but i’d rather they weren’t.”
believe me, i understand it’s such a microaggression and i understand you don’t mean it, but IT STILL MATTERS.

  • Edward: *coming home after grocery shopping* Jonathan I'm back.
  • Jonathan: * rushes in and grabs bags and starts to search through them* Where is it?
  • Edward: *pulling out various items out of a bag* Where is what?
  • Jonathan: The candy corn I asked you to pick up.
  • Edward: Oh. Sorry dear. I forgot.
  • Jonathan: *slams down bags on floor* OH MY GOD! YOU HAD ONE JOB EDWARD! THANKS! HALLOWEEN IS OFFICIALLY CANCELED!
  • Edward: Jesus Christ Jonathan. It's just candy corn. It's not even that good anyway.
  • Jonathan: *stabs Edward with fear toxin* Don't you DARE insult candy corn! Candy corn is LIFE!
what the fuck even is the jorge joestar novel
  • Jorge Joestar is not killed by a zombie. However, zombies run amok during his and Lisa Lisa’s wedding.
  • Stands exist but many are named after films and television series rather than bands, musicians or songs.
  • Made In Heaven has reset the universe 36 times.
  • In all of them, the basic events of Battle Tendency happen, including Kars achieving his Ultimate form and being expelled from Earth. Consequently, Kars’ new immortality allowed him to survive the resets and thus there are at least 36 different versions of Kars residing on planet Mars; they are apparently the 36 souls of sinners that DIO required for his plan to reach Heaven.
  • Kars is no longer evil, and now holds respect for humanity’s bravery and ambition. He is also now aware of the concept of Stands.
  • The DIO of Part 3 was not the real Dio Brando.
  • Rohan Kishibe is so engrossed in his work that he survives the universal resets unscathed, thus he does not notice Made In Heaven’s actions and is immune to them.
  • Morioh Town suddenly sprouts legs from its foundations and splits from the mainland, walking the earth.
  • Passione’s island headquarters begins moving as well, and encounters the roving Morioh Town.
  • The Dio Brando of Part 1 becomes the Ultimate Life Form as well. The Holy Corpse of Part 7 is in fact Dio Brando’s remains. Dio also possesses a Stand called “The Passion” which resembles Jesus Christ.
  • Jonathan Joestar returns to life and fuses with the Holy Corpse.
  • One version of Giorno Giovanna is now Diavolo’s alternate personality. Doppio is instead a separate entity with his own Stand capable of transforming objects into telephones.
  • Gold Experience Requiem protected the Giorno of Part 5 from the universal resets.
  • Diavolo somehow was able to use King Crimson to avoid his torturous fate at Gold Experience Requiem’s hands so that only the Diavolo connected with Vinegar Doppio would suffer.
  • Kars is able to convince Killer Queen to abandon Yoshikage Kira and join up with him instead.
  • Kars repeatedly uses Killer Queen’s Bites The Dust ability to reverse time until he reaches the first universal reset, otherwise known as the Steel Ball Run universe.
  • Funny Valentine has a son named Funnier Valentine, who in turn has a son called The Funniest Valentine. Funnier has a Stand called “Rear Window” which opens windows through space, allowing Funnier to travel through them. Funniest has the original D4C.
  • One version of Funny Valentine has a Stand called “Singing In The Rain” which grants him the power of flight.