This is from my decaying Quotev account. I wrote this so long ago now, but I thought it might be fun to put it up here.
Arkham Asylum survival tips.
As you know there are do’s and do nots to incarceration at Arkham here are some for a slight chance of survival.
Do not think singing the Batman theme song is going to result in any thing other than a painful expierance.
Touch Dr Crane’s books at your own risk.
Asking Edward Nygma if he wants to talk about his ‘daddy issues’ isn’t smart he will kill you.
Telling Deathstroke that Deadpool would totally kick his ass is grounds for immediate medication for talking about fictional characters again.
Flirting with Joker is a new level of stupid but be prepared for a blonde crazed Brooklyn women to try and kill you.
If you should escape and get access to the rogue’s confiscated weapons unless you hundred percent know what your doing don’t touch them and even then it’s likely they will hunt you down and kill you for the inconvenience.
Asking Bane who his dealer is isn’t going to get you any venom.
Please stop asking Copperhead if she can teach you swear words in Spanish, we do have Spanish speaking inmates and doctors it’s not a secret way to insult people.
Yes, Dr Crane is not the strongest person here this isn’t a go ahead to try and dominate him if he doesn’t get you back straight away then I’d suggest sleeping with one eye open for the foreseeable future.
If Edward Nygma should take a disliking to you giving him some puzzle books on the side isn’t entirely a bad idea.
Threatening ivy with weed killer doesn’t scare her, her ‘babies’ are quite capable of looking after their selves.
Trying to persuade Selina Kyle to curl up in your lap like a kitten is your own funeral.
Shouting 'CROWS’ around Jonathan Crane just to try and scare him is going to result in a frightening death.
Asking Victor Zsasz to cut your food up for you is inviting trouble.
Asking Waylon Jones where captain hook is, will most likely end up with you missing body parts.
Touch Osito and you risk being broken.
Singing twisted fire starter at firefly may seem funny to you but God help you if he starts one.
Asking Edward Nygma what’s green, purple and black and regularly gets his ass handed to him by Batman is seriously stupid.
Telling Edward Nygma that he can use his Cain on you anytime he wants doesn’t sound sexual he will take you literally.
Asking if Crane wants a new test subject doesn’t sound sexual either he’ll gladly take you up on the offer.
Playing music aloud is permitted as one of your recreational activities but please be mindful of what you play as the last time someone played Justin Bieber aloud a fire broke out, a bomb went off, Bane smashed through two walls and Jarvis tried to initiate a flash mob.
Telling Harley you want to joke and fool around with her is in affect volunteering your head for a game of croquette.
Telling Jonathan crane that he is the grim reaper is only going to give him an ego boost.
Singing I’ve got a brand new combine harvester around Pamela isn’t wise.
If your not afraid of bombs then by all means scream capitalism on the top of your voice around Anarchy.
If you should be unlucky enough to draw the attentions of Jarvis Tetch then it is best advised to inform a doctor or guard and not to tell him your the reincarnation of the red queen or the jabberwocky he’ll take this just as seriously.
Asking any of the female prisoners for nudes may be asking for your phone to explode.
Telling Harley Quinn that vampires aren’t as good as werewolves will put you into a no exit lifelong debate.
Trying to flirt with any of the doctors and asking them if they want to start a 'mad love’ will mean that your doctors may have to be switched to the same gender as you and if you still persist then we will be forced to only use video connection to speak with you.
Asking Batman to bite you so you can join his legion of the undead is going to result in a neck brace.
Shouting to the Batmobile might end up with you being chucked under it.
If there is a break out it is advised to stay in your cell for your own safety and not to try to form teams of your favourite rogues.
Don’t think it’s funny calling Penguin happy feet or Mary Poppins.
Neither is calling officer Boyles Scarface.
Starting sleeve fights with your straight jacket is not their intended purpose.
Cash’s hook is not a kitchen utensil.
Although movies are permitted in recreational time there are some rules to when certain films can be shown as different inmates are effected by different things.
Neither of the Silent hill movies are allowed when Dr. Crane is present.
Silence of the lambs is not permitted when Waylon Jones is present.
Stephen King’s It isn’t allowed around Joker.
The Saw franchise isn’t allowed around Edward Nygma, he doesn’t need encouragement.
Tim Burton’s Alice in wonderland isn’t allowed when Jarvis Tetch is around, this should be common sense.
Most violence filled movies aren’t permitted around Zsasz, you don’t really need anything to trigger him.
If you find that Dr. Crane is taking a frequent interest in your personal fears and phobias you should immediately tell a guard or doctor and not tell him stupid made up fears and phobias as if he finds out that your lying he’ll make it his personal mission to make you frightened of your own lies.
It’s best to humour Joker when he asks if you want to know how he got his scars?.
Bragging about animal abuse is not only grounds for time being taken away from your recreational time but you may incur abuse from some of the animal loving inmates.
Instigating wheelchair races is not the purpose of the wheelchairs and is strictly prohibited.
Telling Jarvis that the ghost of Arkham is watching him sleep will earn you solitary confinement.
Writing riddles on the walls and then trying to blame Edward isn’t clever, because he will pick so many holes in your argument and ridicule you so savagely that your likely to end up developing a self inferiority complex.
Trying to steal Osito to sleep with at night isn’t going to end well. For anyone.
Please refrain from stealing medication as we regret to inform you that we believe some of them may have been tampered with, if you begin to laugh uncontrollably, start to feel that Jarvis is making sense or ten foot cockroaches are stampeding through the halls please tell a doctor or guard.
Asking two face to flip a coin for every mundane decision you make is eventually going to end up with your life being determined by a fifty fifty probability.
Telling Jarvis that the Grudge is looking for him is again not acceptable.
There are some patients that suffer from insomnia and stress induced sleep deprivation, if said patients happen to fall asleep then leave them alone it isn’t your place to be as loud as you possibly can to try and wake them up, it’s not just really annoying but it could result in them taking it out on the first person to wake them up, so just make sure it’s not you.
We would appreciate it if everyone who frequents the gym to stop trying to get Bane and Waylon to lift increasingly heavy weights, it always ends in competitions turning into fights.
Male inmates who try to sneak into the female showers please keep in mind that the last time this happened his remains was recovered from the drainage system.
And in relation any female inmates who try to sneak into the male showers…are actually non existent, seriously no one wants to go in there. O_O
Please check your personal toiletries before using them, apparently Joker and Harley has an ongoing bet to see which one of them can dye the most people’s hair.
Trying to play whack a mole on the other patient with Harley’s hammer is strictly prohibited.
Please refrain from laughing at Riddler’s green hair, it is being resolved. :?
The rumours aren’t true there isn’t going to be a 'trick or treating crazies field trip’ please try to remember your here for your own rehabilitation.
Hair dryers are very welcome but trying to thaw out Mr. Freeze with them is not.
Please remember that giving medication forms into the doctors that have been signed by either Harleen Quinzel, Jonathan Crane or Hugo Strange are not valid they are patients their selves, there are reasons to why they can no longer practice.
Trying to show Jarvis Alice madness returns the game is strongly discouraged.
please do not touch Nightmare or Craw.
No, you can not have your straight jackets in sparkly pink.
Upon apprehension some patients may have their own personal work on their person, trying to plagiarise or copy their life’s work is going to end up you experiencing the product of their work firsthand.
Please use the doors and not make new exits.
Your sinking to a new level if you ask Mr. Freeze 'is your wife giving you the cold shoulder?’.
Deprive people of caffeine at your own risk.
Music Meister will not sing for you, why would you even want him to?
Killer moth isn’t going to follow laser pointers, he only dresses like a moth.
Touch Harley’s J necklace at your own cost.
The spinach in the canteen is not part kryptonite, and if your stupid enough to try and throw it at superman as a deterrent then on your head be it.
Detective J'onn johnz is not an alien.
No, Vicky vale doesn’t want an exclusive interview with you.
Jack Ryder might have published a paper on his triumph over Floyd Lawton but Deadshot says otherwise.
No you can’t phone Amanda Weller with your phone privileges and ask her to 'sign me up for the suicide squad!“.
Robin doesn’t have to sign in as a minor, stop insisting he does.
Bruce Wayne will not adopt you.
Music Meister will not serenade you, he might perforate your eardrums but he won’t serenade you.
Joker really doesn’t like cream pies in the face, who knew?
No you can’t use Zsasz as a living tally chart board when your playing pool, he might return the favour.
Deathstroke will not teach you some 'really cool Army shit!’ He could possibly demonstrate some 'really cool Army shit!’ On you but he won’t teach you.
The last person to sing Miley Cyrus’s wreaking ball actually ended up squashed by one, I have no idea how they pulled it off but they did, really creatively too.
Yes security levels at Wal-Mart are better, we all know.
Ichobod is not Jonathan’s real name.
Green arrow isn’t looking for maid Marian.
And no he’s not from the legend of Zelda either.
It’s quite easy to swipe Boles’s burbon. Just don’t tell him I told you.
Trying to lift Catwoman up like the lion king isn’t going to work.
Oswald isn’t pingu.
No you can’t redecorate your cell, it’s not meant to be homely.
Bribing the staff isn’t advised but we all know you could probably get away with it.
Batman isn’t into BDSM.
Ra’s al ghul isn’t going to die if you throw salt at him, you might though.
please be kind, I know it’s not the best written piece in the world. I’m resitting my English and maths and trying to improve by writing the subjects I like.
And now...something the artist finds funny because she’s easily amused.
I’ve been working on the script for Music Meister’s big intro for my fan-comic and I found this little exchange between Scarecrow and Riddler I wrote funny when the Rogues meet Music Meister officially.
“I seemed to often be the outsider. […] I was always the new kid, trying to fit in. As the new boy you had to learn how to assert yourself. Like an actor you had to constantly redefine yourself.” –
So I mentioned I think a few Rogues can sing really well but never defined exactly what they sound like. So I decided I’d make this little post with Rogues who can sing and what they sound like, and I will put in in terms of name, the artist/band that their voice is closest to, and two examples. The only exception is with Jervis and Mary Dahl because their voices are two of the leads in the same band, and so I’ll be adding four examples.
I had fun with these! Codot’s Music Meister has a singing style like Tim Curry and I couldn’t resist drawing Music Meister singing some of my favorite Tim Curry songs! I know the ones with Black Canary and Green Arrow (at least its supposed to be Green Arrow -_-’) are low-hanging fruit, but were still fun to draw. There’s a reference to a @theriddlerspeaks post in one sketch and a reference one of Codot’s headcanon’s too! And I just realized I didn’t draw an obligatory Rocky Horror Picture Show reference. Shame on me. Oh well, something for next time!
Okay, so I rewatched the episode with him in it to refresh my memory and my goodness it was so painful and punny I loved it. The highlight was probably Black Canary offering to be Batman’s gal pal, but I digress.
Music Meister Headcanons
-Music Meister’s favorite movie is the “Sound of Music”
-Meister isn’t a natural ginger. (No duh, that stuff doesn’t look natural he’s not fooling anyone) His real hair color is dirty blonde. Not as glamorous as red.
-When Riddler heard about the new villain in town he threw a hissy fit. Like seriously? There can only be so many villains with their theme colors as purple and green. It’s hard enough being over shadowed by Joker, and now this freak?
-He’s tried to befriend the Dork Squad multiple times, but Riddler hates him and so does Scarecrow on account of the musical numbers he’s been unwillingly apart of. Jervis gets along with him, and is probably his only friend.
-He can learn to play instruments very quickly. He prefers singing, even though he can play things with ease.
-His earliest and fondest memories are of his mother singing him lullabies when he was very young.
-His mother was why he started talking voice lessons and joined the choir. She was extremely musical, and before she died (he was ten) she told him that he had a gift, and no matter what anyone said, he should use it and pursue his interests.
-Jervis found out about Meister’s past late one night. The two have cells right next to each other. Meister hadn’t been able to sleep, so he sat next to the wall between the two and Tetch pulled his childhood from him like teeth.
-Meister’s father never really recovered from his wife’s death, and wasn’t really all there for most of Meister’s growing up. He didn’t notice the black eyes and bruises from bullies, just like Meister didn’t notice when he didn’t come home one Saturday morning a few days before Meister’s sixteenth birthday.
-He’s really good at whistling through the gap in his teeth.
-Sometimes when he laughs, his teeth whistle. He also snorts, something he’s extremely embarrassed about.
-He never stops making sound. He’s always singing or humming or whistling. It drives everyone nuts.
- He’s attracted to people’s voices. Gender doesn’t matter, looks don’t matter. It’s only based on whether or not the person can hold a note.
Morning Rituals and Sleep (Continued from this post)
Edward Nygma / Riddler
Eddie tries to get the amount of sleep needed for his precious brain cells to work properly but he can have a bad habit of staying up late and losing sleep if something he deems something of the utmost importance. Expect lots of coffee to be consumed during that time.
Eddie rolls out of bed at a decent hour without practically sleeping the day away. Eddie is relatively quick to wake up in the morning, so about one cup of coffee and a good breakfast is all he needs.
Jonathan Crane / Scarecrow
Jon has very bad sleeping habits. He will be up for days doing research, experimentation, and / or reading. He often drinks a lot of coffee if he wants to stay awake but after a certain amount of cups, once he crashes he’s out…for several days.
Jon is a heavy sleeper. But if you manage to wake him up from a dead sleep, expect some…loud and colorful language.
Jon has to place his alarm clock several feet away from his bed, forcing himself to get out of bed in order to start to properly wake up. Afterwards, several cups of coffee and a breakfast of “whats the first thing we grab from the cabinet/fridge” is consumed. As you can tell, Jon is VERY slow to wake up in the morning, not to mention cranky.
Jervis Tetch / Mad Hatter
Jervis has been known to be up late tweaking his mind control devices but is nowhere near as bad as Jon or Eddie. When he can’t take anymore, he usually goes to bed.
Jervis wears a nightcap to bed.
Jervis is very quick to wake up in the morning.
Neil Clavier / Music Meister
Neil will always get his required sleep to help keep his voice in peak condition. And if you wake up Neil while he’s sleeping…you have made a grave mistake. NOTHING IMPEDES THE MEISTERS BEAUTY SLEEP.
Neil will not talk to anyone in the morning until he’s had his special blend tea that helps keep his voice in shape.
Neil is prone to be a light sleeper. Sometimes he even wears earplugs to bed.