THE TEA-M! The TEA BROS! They’re both team leafy water against Enjolras, Combeferre and Feuilly who are team black bean water
Also: yoga buddies
Joly isn’t superstitious pe say, though that’s debatable, but he’s really interesting in superstitions for some reason? And so is Jehan, so they start reading books about that and sending each other the stuff they find
They’re also the smolest of les Amis, that’s truly something to bond over, especially when you hang out with people lile Bahorel and Combeferre who are #tallproblems
Joly loves cat patterns, so Jehan learnt to knit cat heads to adorn scarfs and gloves
Those who are firmly on the cat side of the spectrum: Joly (has never not had a cat), Bossuet (tragically allergic, but he loves them - him and Joly and Musichetta have two cats called Merry and Pippin - in modern AU of course); Combeferre (he loves having a ball of fluff to pet while he reads; he adopts old cats from the shelter to give them a nice forever home and takes good care of them - never more than one at a time though)
Those who are firmly on the dog side: Grantaire (they’re loyal and gives him lot of attention while allowing him to give them attention too. he has two; an old dog from the shelter and an energetic puppy from a friend of his), Courfeyrac (he loves dogs! so much! has one at his parents’, his only reason for ever going home, shows everyone the pictures all the time); Bahorel (photoshops Grantaire’s dogs’ pictures all the time for fun, but he also loves them with all his heart)
Loves both equally, and is frankly offended you think he should prefer one over the other: Feuilly (he adores dogs but doesn’t get one, kind of afraid the dog would get lonely; he has a cat though and he loves her with all his heart)
Doesn’t really care either way tbh, but is happy you’re happy: Enjolras (go on, show him all the pictures, he’ll be slightly bored but never say it)
Should really not adopt any animals, but plants will be fine, probably: Prouvaire (he names them, the plants that is - thank goodness he also never intends on having children)
But like. Enjolras and Grantaire and a cat.
- R’s cat curled up on the lumpy, bottle green sofa. Whenever Enj and R go to sit down on it, the cat fucking launches itself next to R, taking up the other seat, and fucking hisses at Enj every time he makes a move to try to sit on the couch anyway. Which is totally not fair, because R only laughs and smiles fondly even though it’s completely not a laughing matter because a fucking cat is monopolizing R’s time and the cat is fucking stealing cuddles from him.
- Enj grumbles a bit (a lot) when he ends up having to sit on the floor because of the cat, but he stops complaining because now R’s playing with his hair and everytime he turns around to glance at the cat, the cat’s glaring and looking unbelievably horrified that now Enj is getting the attention instead of her.
- The cat gets back by getting to sleep in their bed. THEIR bed ! When R and that monster of a cat first moved in and started leaving fur on every single available surface, the first thing Enj could say after recovering from the shock of realizing how much fur he would have to clean up was that the bedroom was completely off-limits to the fucking cat. Of course, the cat doesn’t give two shits about rules and comes into their room to steal even more cuddles from him and leave cat fur all over his bed.
- (The cat really sleeps on top of R’s head so honestly she’s not really stealing cuddles from Enj, but R doesn’t mention this when Enj complains about the cat.)
- (Enj also refuses to call the cat by her name, (it’s Bast by the way), and R finds it fucking hilarious.)
- And fuck, the fur
- It gets fucking everywhere
- One time, he found it on his fucking underwear. He wouldn’t put it past the cat to roll around in his underwear drawer, just to spite him
- What makes it worse that once while delivering a speech, his hand gestures got a little too intense and just. The some of the fur on his blazer got everywhere and he’s pretty sure ninety percent of it landed on Joly. Who also happens to be allergic to cats.
- Cat fur + cat allergy + hyperchondriac = disaster
- (It didn’t help that R was giggling in the corner while Ferre tried to convince Joly it wasn’t enough fur to trigger an allergic reaction while Enjolras stood frozen, his hand still in the air, face turning the color of a firetruck, mouth hung agape and eyes wide with the sheer horror of it all, and it’s not funny, he shouldn’t be laughing like that no matter how beautiful he looks while doing it because Enjolras is d y i n g over here and it’s not a laughing matter)
- After a month the cat starts sleeping not only on R’s head, but also on his
- He doesn’t know why, all he knows is that he woke up R with his screams after waking up to a mouthful of cat hair.
- He buys a catnip plant and puts it in the living room in an attempt to keep the cat farther away from him
- It backfires because now whenever the cat isn’t snuggling with R, it’s draped all over him.
- (R has to hide a smile everytime he walks back home from the studio, only to see Enj and Bast curled up around eachother)
- (Enj will also deny he’s starting to like the cat. Especially the snuggling. R knows better)
- It’s been two months and now the cat leaves dead mice on his desk.
- He first found out because Joly and Bossuet came over and Joly let out the most ear-piercing shriek in the history of humankind when he found the rat
- (Bossuet tripped and accidentally tackled Joly while running across the room to help him. Now they were both fussing over each other and honestly where was Musichetta when you needed her?)
- Enj denies it but once when R returned from grocery shopping, he swears he heard Enj calling Bast by her real fucking name
- It’s been a year since Bast and R moved in and now Enj can cuddle on the couch with R while Bast sleeps on their intertwined legs, and now when people ask him about the cat fur he goes off on tangents on how much he loves his boyfriend and how much he loves their cat (Because yes, at one point Bast became their cat and not just R’s.) and now Joly’s become so used to the occasional dead small animals and cat fur he only sighs, and now when they sleep it’s him and R intertwined while Bast insists on sleeping on top of both of their heads
- It’s been a year since Bast and R moved in and Enjolras has never been happier.
- ( Bonus (courtesy of @gaysatthebarricade “Bast short for BASTILLE” ): R insisting Bast stands for the Egyptian cat goddess but Enj insisting it’s short for Bastille (“You know I’m right R.” “I fucking named her Enj, what are you doing” “No I’m right and you know it)