HUFFLEPUFF: “Love doesn’t lead to the dark side. Passion can lead to rage and fear, and can be controlled, but passion is not the same thing as love. Controlling your passions while being in love, that’s what they should teach you to beware, but love itself will save, not condemn you.” –Drew Karpyshyn (Jolee Bindo: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic)
“When I met Joe, he got me immediately, and that’s very rare. I think we were brothers in another life or something because it was so immediate. I felt like we’d been friends all our lives, and that was without music!” — Cole Whittle.
carth who wins: you look, you’re going to argue with this guy no matter what happens. might as well have it out and get it over with. he’ll feel better once you’ve both shouted at each other, and you won’t have to deal with him giving you suspicious looks all the time. it’s a win-win. unless you have an unknown secret
who wins: mission why the fuck would you fight mission. even if you were evil enough to do it, the girl’s got a wookie for a best friend. there’s no way it ends well for you.
zaalbar who wins: zaalbar he’s a fucking wookie
bastila who wins: you
you might be able to defeat bastila in a straight fight, but it’s risky. what you can definitely do, on the other hand, is lob insults at her until she loses her temper, then steal her lightsaber and run away. this counts as a win, as she’s far too dignified to punch you in the face to get it back.
canderous who wins: canderous this dude is like 800 in mandalorian years. he is the epitome of bamf. that said, if you put up even a semblance of a decent fight and have some good quips, he’ll probably think you’re funny and buy you a drink with no hard feelings.
t3-m4 who wins: you, but not for long you could probably take t3. you could not take whoever is charged with protecting t3 while it hacks things. safer to avoid.
hk-47 who wins: hk not only will hk destroy you, he’ll be absolutely delighted to do so, and the last thing you hear in your life will be him gleefully mocking your meatbag incompetence. again, safer to avoid.
jolee who wins: jolee the dude lived on the surface of kashyyyk for twenty years. he’s seen it all, and he doesn’t give a shit. plus, once you lose to him, he’s gonna sit your ass down and tell you a story, and since that’s probably why you wanted to fight him to begin with, there’s literally no point in trying.
revan who wins: hahhahahha aaahhhahahahahahhaha hah ha
A family can be a daughter, a dad, an older sister/mom, a sassy grandpa, an unwashed dog, a buff cat, a gun-crazy uncle, a murderbot, a rhoomba, and an indeterminately-gendered masked weirdo who may be waiting for an opportunity to kill half of them.