jokes that everyone has probably made by now

How to deal with being called out

First steps when you’re called out

  1. Don’t tone police. It is NOT your right to dictate how someone should react to their oppression.
    e.g. avoid reactions like “OK I get where you’re coming from but I just wish you weren’t so angry it doesn’t help your case”.
  2. Don’t demand a detailed explanation. You’re basically asking the person to justify their call out. It’s exhausting, many resources are available, and often this is just a way to try and derail, start an argument, or discredit the other person.
  3. Don’t attack the person who’s calling you out. That’s just fucked up.
  4. Don’t get defensive; LISTEN. A call out is not all about you as a person. Calling out is not a personal attack. If someone calls you out, they’re trying to teach you something. Calling out is a way for people to educate others on how systems of oppression operate on a day to day, individual level.
  5. Don’t assume the person calling you out is just “looking to get offended”. Nobody enjoys calling other people out. To call someone out, people often have to mentally prepare for serious repercussions. Calling someone out might mean starting an argument, during which many people will side with the oppressor by default (especially if you’re privileged over the person calling you out).
  6. Understand that being oppressive is not the same as being offensive or hurting feelings. The damage you’re perpetuating is part of a larger system of oppression.
  7. Realise that your intent is irrelevant when it comes to whether you were oppressive or not.
    e.g. avoid reactions like “oh I didn’t mean to upset you”.
  8. Recognise the power dynamics that are in place between you and the person calling you out.
  9. Understand intersectionality
    e.g. just because you are oppressed by homophobia, doesn’t mean you lack male privilege.
  10. Know that being privileged means being oppressive, but you can work to reduce the ways that you are oppressive.

Step 2: apologise

Step 3: work on it

Be the best person you can be: work to reduce the harm you cause.The point of calling you out is to draw your attention to how you’re being oppressive, so that you can work to change it.

If you made an oppressive joke, there’s probably oppressive thoughts in place (conscious or not) that led you to think the joke was appropriate. Everyone has to unlearn the oppressive things they’ve absorbed from an oppressive society.

We are all taught ways to keep marginalised people in their place, but the good thing is that we can identify these things in ourselves and change. And then we can start working on dismantling the kyriarchy, yeah!

(parts of this post were taken from the now-defunct tumblr youarenotyou)

anonymous asked:

hasnt gillian anderson made transphobic comments in the past?

hoo boy okay 

i’ve never seen the skit (and i bet none of the people who have started this whole discourse have either) but old gregg is a half fish half man character (this person explained it pretty well, i’m basically just gonna quote everything) who thinks he has female genitalia except it lights up (which he, in the skit, referred to as a downstairs mix up)

now if you take that information and re-read gillian’s tweet, she’s poking fun at 1) how she looks in the photo 2) letting us know her genitalia doesn’t light up like old gregg’s 

when i first read the tweet and looked up old gregg i didn’t understand why everyone was saying it was transphobic like i would’ve understood if he was a canonically transgender character but he’s not, he’s a fish. i understand now how it could be viewed as such and i didn’t find the joke that she made funny but that’s all it literally was. a joke. she’s a 48 year old woman who made a bad joke on the internet. my grandpa has done the same. 

i also don’t understand how quickly it takes people on this website to label people something. i bet in my lifetime i’ve laughed at something transphobic. i probably didn’t know it was transphobic and ive never in my life ever hated transgender people but the point im trying to make is that we’re all guilty of laughing or even making a joke we weren’t supposed to. celebrities aren’t exempt from that rule

anyway. she’s voiced her inclusion of trans women before (in an interview where she talked about co-writing that book “we” she specifically said she includes trans women but no one bothered to look that up because it’s convenient to side with a popular post instead of doing your own research apparently)

idk. it’s good to be critical of your faves and to be like “hey that wasn’t cool” when they say something bad (+ to recognize that p much all celebrities are problematic like it’s hilarious when ppl act shocked when something like this happens) but tungle is really extra about literally everything and take everything you read here with a grain of salt 

anonymous asked:

Saying "as a mixed girl myself" you have a right to talk about race actually IS a racist statement. In our collective experiences we have probably all confronted racism from someone of another color or ethnicity and everyone has a right to speak about it not just certain races or ethnicities. You said you were joking in your remarks, I didn't see the joke and given what I see on campuses now, it is no laughing matter.

Good lord did someone take an extra sensitivity pill? The French anon referred directly to a comment that someone made about them being black… So I was saying that as someone who is half black, I have experienced racism towards black people throughout my life as well. Calling attention to the fact that I am black and saying that I’ve experienced racism because of it does not make me racist. I’m not saying that I’m the only person in the world that has experienced racism… I’m saying that I’ve seen it myself so when that other anon tried to get mad at me for saying that there are a lot of racist people in America, I felt like I had to defend my stance. Because it’s a real issue that I’m passionate about. And I don’t appreciate you trying to take away from the experience of one group of people by saying “well other people experience racism too.” No dip. I know that there is racism everywhere. But it does greatly affect black people and I was just calling attention to that fact in that particular situation. This is not an “all lives matter” situation…

anonymous asked:

Happy Hungry Bunch domestic headcanons?

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSS

  • Yun does all the cooking, unsurprisingly. The only other people allowed even within a remote distance of the kitchen are Jae-ha and Zeno, since they also know how to cook. Everyone else is banned for various reasons, including but not limited to:
    • Burning water,
    • burning everything,
    • cooking terrible food that not even starving dogs would eat,
    • or, in Shinah’s case, finding all forms of fire to be a threat and therefore fighting with the stove.
  • Kija does the grocery shopping. He has memorized the layouts of all the grocery stores. It’s kind of scary to everyone else, but at least he sticks to the list and is quick about buying what everyone needs.
  • Everyone bothers Hak for back/shoulder massages. Everyone. It started off with Hak offering to give Yona a massage when she was having a rough week, and next thing he knew, everybody else in the house was lining up for a massage. He didn’t even offer anything to them. They just assumed that he, as their roommate & friend, would massage them. Bunch of freeloaders. (He does, actually, give them massages, but everyone except Yona & Yun have to pay him.)
  • Shinah does all the cleaning, from laundry to dusting. He remembers where ALL THE THINGS are supposed to go, and he has a cute little habit of putting everything back in their place if any of his friends move stuff. Hak has made a joke that Shinah could probably put all the dust back in its proper place. Shinah has taken him up on that challenge.
  • One time, Yona kissed Shinah’s forehead before he went to sleep. After that, the rest of the house more or less passive aggressively demanded to receive forehead kisses, too!!! So now, every night, Yona has to make the rounds through the house and kiss everyone’s foreheads before either she or they go to sleep.
  • Jae-ha doesn’t really sleep in his own bed lol. It started because the group put a ban on bringing over people to have sex with them, because Jae-ha did that way too often. According to Jae-ha’s logic, that means his roommates, in return for him no longer bringing over one night stands, have to cuddle with him whenever he’s lonely at night lmao. After awhile, everyone got used to it, but Jae-ha can’t enter Yona or Shinah’s rooms – if he goes to Shinah’s, Kija will randomly appear & glare at him until he leaves, & if he goes to Yona’s, then Hak will randomly appear and hit him until he leaves.
  • Zeno, unlike everyone else, works two jobs. According to him, the first job is for paying for his basic necessities, while the second job is for paying for anything Kaya wants or needs. So it can be rare for him to actually be home for more than a few hours at a time. But he, somehow, never gets tired, & everyone else is damn fascinated by it. They also sometimes pitch in to help Zeno pay for Kaya, because they love Kaya and how happy she makes Zeno.
AM Prologue - I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor

“Bonus Track” #1 of a Hartbig fic based the Arctic Monkey’s AM. 

The prologue and future epilogue will feature 2 different Arctic Monkeys tracks.

Other parts here

Stop making the eyes at me,

I’ll stop making my eyes at you.

What it is that surprises me is that I don’t really want you to

The gathering may take place at Grace’s, but everyone knows it’s Mamrie’s party. Because Mamrie proposed it, Mamrie decorated grandly, and Mamrie certainly made every food and drink item there. It was the redhead that thought ‘let’s get a few YouTubers together and stir up all the trouble in Los Angeles,’ which they are now very successfully doing. 

It’s a small bash to be certain, but Tyler’s loud laughter and Mamrie’s excellent jokes make the whole thing feel pretty extravagant. Plus, Mamrie demanded everyone dress well for her “real cocktail party.” This, in retrospect, was probably a terrible idea because Grace has already spilled three different drinks on her spendy Topshop dress, one she intended to wear to an event but pulled out early because it is gorgeous. 

Hannah is standing next to Mamrie who is aggressively shaking her a fourth drink, which for Hannah, is kind of a lot. Luckily, she’s eaten quite a bit and has spaced out each drink strategically. Plus Sarah was there to look out for her. Actually, Sarah is laughing loudly on the couch with Grace and Tyler. They are drunk, much to Mamrie’s joy. The redhead, on the other hand, has a habit of keeping pretty tipsy rather than wasted at her parties because she likes to be the best hostess, always. 

She pours the drink beautifully into two martini glasses and clinks with the little blonde. Tyler is stumbling over happily. Everyone is having so much fun, Hannah notes, happy for Mamrie. Happy for everyone. 

“Sarah brought it up accidentally, and I’ve decided we’re doing it. We’re fucking doing this school girl shit. Someone go get Mitchell and Korey,“ Tyler bellows, "We’re playing truth or dare.” 

Yes, formal dress was definitely a poor plan because now they’re in a little circle on Grace’s deck, all with a drink in hand and all smiling. Sarah, Tyler, Korey, Mamrie, Grace, Mitchell, and Hannah. This is a terrible idea.  

“Korey, truth or dare?” Mamrie asks, hoping her suggestion will go down in the history books. “Truth.” Dare would’ve been so much more fun. Mamrie takes a sip and looks back up at him, grinning intensely. “Have you ever made out with Tyler? I will remind you that honesty is not an option, it is a requirement.” 

Tyler bursts into laughter and Korey fakes a look of horror and then just says “Yes!” Grace butts in, “Was it like a real make out session or did you only kiss for a second? Actually, I doubt Tyler would accept just a peck. He seems hungry…” 

“No follow up questions Grace! Wait your turn!” Tyler says a little too loudly. “Speaking of Grace,” Tyler circles the rim of his glass with his index finger, plotting. “Truth or dare.” Grace curses herself inwardly for pushing the envelope because Tyler is no doubt going to make a total fool of her, and publicly. 

Hannah and Mamrie, unlike a brave and tipsy Grace, know exactly what Tyler is going to suggest. Because if she knew what Tyler was about to say, she certainly wouldn’t have — “Dare.” Tyler squeals a little. Mamrie gasps. Hannah looks terrified. Grace is utterly oblivious. 

“Kiss Hannah Hart. On the lips. Now.”

Sarah laughs, “What is this, Hartbig fic right now?” Grace stares Tyler down, who grins cheekily, and wiggles his eyebrows. “What Grace? You’re just friends. It’s just platonic. Clearly you can handle a little kiss. Can’t you?” 

“Fine then,” Grace says confidently. She can do this. Hannah bites her lip, because only half of these drunken nerds are going to remember this game tomorrow, and she is one of them. It’d be quite convenient if she could forget about this like Grace undoubtedly will. Grace puts down her drink and Hannah follows suit because here it comes. 

Grace leans into Hannah and puts her arms around a hot neck. Hannah blushes immediately. The group is now yelling words of encouragement as Grace closes in on soft lips. Lips touch, and Grace holds herself in place until Hannah finally kisses back.

Sparks? Yeah. Fucking sparks. 

Everyone is suddenly silent because the kiss doesn’t look awkward and forced, not in the slightest. It lasts a lot longer than it should.

Mamrie shoots Sarah a look that just says ‘What the actual fuck?’ But Sarah is busy watching. And now instead of cheering, she’s a little horrified, because this can’t be real. 

***

Music blares inside the Helbig household. Beyoncé, currently. Hannah is grinding with Tyler, who in all honesty, is a pretty crazy dancer. Hannah fears a little for her safety. “Jesus Hannah, such stamina! I think I might pass out.” 

Tyler spins around and falls on Grace’s couch, where the brunette is eating some pretzels. “You’re it Grace,” Tyler taps her lazily. Grace isn’t the world’s most skilled dancer, but she’s been watching Hannah and she definitely does want to join. She shoves the large bowl of pretzels at Tyler, who accepts them graciously. It’s almost three and he’s kind of starving.

Grace saunters over to Hannah, feeling brave. Uh oh. Grace and Hannah are dancing close now, and Tyler watches the show. He’s quite glad he dared Grace earlier because they look so happy. Also pretty drunk, as Grace stumbles a bit over her own foot. She was no longer in those killer heels, making her a little closer to Hannah’s height. 

Mamrie can see from her makeshift bar that her friends are staring intensely at each other. “They’ve been doing that for five minutes, nonstop,” Sarah tells her, shaking her empty glass in hopes of another custom cocktail. Mamrie, of course, obliges happily. Mamrie lightly shakes a gin concoction, still staring at Hannah and Grace.

“I can honestly say, I never thought this would happen. Like truly. As a best friend, all I saw was the tiniest bits of a crush. Also, there were a multitude of times when Hannah was clearly more into me than that one over there.” Sarah rolls her eyes at Mamrie’s last statement, but nods because yeah, she noticed that too. Hannah’s crushes shift like the weather. Here one day, gone the next. 

“But that over there, Mamrie,” Swike points at Hannah actually holding Grace on the dance floor. “That, is a crush. Just. Damn.” Mamrie laughs because Sarah tends to only swear if she’s been drinking. The red head had proof that she’d done a lot of that tonight. Everyone had. “But will it fade into sobriety, or disappear? Grace is already blackout,” Mamrie notes from experience. 

“I fucking hope they don’t keep this up. The last thing Hannah needs is another straight girl drama.” Mamrie hands Swike a gorgeous cocktail. “I don’t know, babe. Look at Grace’s eyes right now.” Sarah does, followed by red cheeks and a stupid grin. “Does she look like a straight girl?” She doesn’t answer because it’s obvious. 

***

Grace goes to bed thinking of Hannah. She’s got enough liquor left in her system to be pretty okay with it. Everyone besides Mamrie has taken cabs, and the redhead is in her spare room, snoring loudly. That leaves Grace with exclusively Goose, who hasn’t quite fallen asleep yet due to the night’s sheer excitement. “I think your mom has a crush, Goose. And I’m only telling you this because you don’t speak any English.” Grace laughs at herself and turns away, eyes shut tightly. She hopes she dreams of Hannah. 

-

Thoughts and opinions? with love, A

honestly its about time i made a post like this?? excuse me for the long post but feel free to give it a read.

i just wanna start off by saying: thank you. literally, thank you, everyone. no amount of “thank you”s though could probably express how exactly i feel.

over these past weeks-and-a-month or so, i’ve made more friends and received more support than i ever could have thought imaginable. i know the tag has its ups and downs, believe me, ive been here for months now. but, i gotta say theres far more positives than negatives. i believe each and everyone of you thats apart of this community is bound for great things, and it shows! to come on every day and see everyone’s art and writings and jokes is wonderful, and the friends ive made and people ive interacted with just make the whole thing even better.

sure i might sound like a sap and, yes, im crying while writing this, but i really do mean it. to have this kind of support and friends to talk to each day means the world to me, and i hope everyone succeeds with whatever goals they might have.

once again, i just gotta thank everyone. really.