jokes posts

guess what death scene in les mis i finally got to?
  • me, talking to shell collector: guess what emotional reaction i had
  • would you believe...laughter? because that's what it was
  • me: i mean. several hours later i'm like. oh no. oh no, that was indeed terribly sad and poignant. but in the moment it was...like really good probably semi-intentional dark comedy/probably unintentional narm to me, for a variety of reasons
  • shell: oh gosh, tell me more
  • me: okay so
  • me: - the mental image of grantaire passed out across a table IN THE EXACT SAME POSITION for OVER A DAY, completely unscathed despite all odds & his own heavily implied desire to die, is...just. come on! that's pretty funny! cruelly-ironic funny, but funny. and i think you're supposed to find it at least a little comedic, given the way hugo describes him here (not reacting except occasionally to snore in response to cannonfire, etc.) AND SO THEN he ends up, still in the same position, passed out across a table, so surrounded by corpses that he just looks like one of them, which is awful, BUT the mental image of this half-dead looking hungover man suddenly LURCHING UP OUT OF A PILE OF DEAD BODIES LIKE A ZOMBIE to declare his loyalty to the revolutionary cause and loudly ask to be murdered in almost the manner of someone trying to get in on a sweet, sweet 2-for-1 coupon deal at the local deli less than five minutes before it closes
  • is. funny. to me at least! AND
  • me: having checked The Internet, i suspect that what is meant to be happening next is that enjolras and grantaire die HOLDING hands. like, hands cupped or fingers laced, whichever-- that is actually a touching and kinda romantic gesture of reconciliation and comfort in the face of death and i do not think it's especially funny, i think it is...something that speaks to my sentimental streak more than i care to admit. BUT THE TRANSLATION OF LES MIS THAT I HAPPEN TO HAVE provided me with a rather different mental image
  • shell: it's definitely supposed to be holding hands!
  • me: because what it says is "[Enjolras] took [Grantaire's] hand and shook it". which makes me imagine, of course, just this really, REALLY awkward formal "thank you for doing business with me today, sir" hand-grasp-quick-arm-pump. maybe with some hesitation beforehand (heh) where enjolras is like...kind of going in for a hand-hold, and grantaire doesn't believe he's going in for a hand-hold and doesn't wanna make it too weird so he's kind of going for a high-five, and enjolras is like "we're about to DIE, is this asshole seriously trying to high-five me NOW?" and it just ends up turning into one of those stiff compromise-between-gestures handshakes that nobody wants

Am I the only one that doesn’t think it’s funny that Cullen gets sexually harassed and groped at the Winter Palace or 

Lmao which country should I move to guys?



Net nutrality.


Here is what will happen to me


I have no internet?


I’m just a normal citizen with financial problems


But you see i cant really do anything about it…


I live with my mom and im only 15.


I make stupid memes on the internet to forget real life for just a tiny moment…


No internet…?


My mom can’t afford all those expensive “bundles”


I cant go on tumblr anymore.


I cant go on YouTube anymore.


I cant go online anymore.


Talking to you guys is a blessing.


We don’t have the money to just up and move.


My mom just bought our new house a few months ago.



No internet…?


Wait…


Texting with iMessage costs money too?


What happens when I’m having a mental breakdown and I can’t text my best friend?


What happens when all I want to think about is dying and I can’t listen to music on YouTube to help cheer me up?


No internet…?







There probably wont be a me.



And its just like this for millions of other people.



net neutrality is our freedom.

“harry is old enough to be eggsy’s dad, its weird-”

that’s colin firth playing as harry hart, suave super spy and you telling me you don’t wanna get with that? taron wants to get with that. he wants his character, eggsy, to get with that. you are damn lying to yourself about the whole “it’s a son/father kind of thing with them”.

if u want eggsy to call harry “daddy”, i can recommend u some fics, if that’s what ur really looking for…

2

I’m going to cry because I found this drawing from some old papers, sometimes I forget I’ve been lowkey in love with this stupid bowler-eating duck since my childhood

//god save me I drew that when I was 10 to 11 years old or something, thank goodness I’ve made progress during these past ten years

Hi yes excuse me we need to talk so when did the internet decide that “btw” is all of a sudden an abbreviation for the word “between” like I’m sorry but I have been using “btw” as an acronym for “by the way” since I came out of the womb and I will not tolerate this double usage and confusion is it really that hard to write out the word “between” in full the word itself is not difficult to spell to begin with why are you doing this come up with abbreviations for the words that are actually a pain like “gaunrantee” or like idk “onomatopoeia” maybe literally anything else

2

idk about you guys but I’d gladly join Griffin in the sewers over Animal Crossing Mobile being anything BUT an Animal Crossing game.