joker machine

I couldn’t take it anymore. I went for a ride in the rain. 






howl, part 2

Pairing: The Joker (Leto) x Reader
Rating: M (for some violence and mild torture)
Words: 1280
Requested by: Anonymous
Summary: The Joker doesn’t mind spilling a little blood to get back what’s been stolen from him. Usually, he wouldn’t think twice about torturing a pretty young woman for information. But this time? This time will be different.

Like some child possessed, the beast howls in my veins
I want to find you, tear out all of your tenderness


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Where’s my Machine Gun?

Joker: Harls,honey?

Harley: Ya?

Joker: Where’s daddy’s machine gun?

Harley: What?

Joker: Where. Is. My. Machine.Gun

Harley: I, uh.. put it away puddin..

Joker: Where?


Joker: I NEED IT.






Originally posted by ivanisinsane

“'I asked you kids what you’re doing in that stall,’ the cigar man said, more sharply this time.

‘Um…grooming our horse?’ I offered.

Rachel’s eyebrows shot up. 'Our horse? Oh, yeah, that’s exactly what we’re doing. Grooming our horse.’ She reached over and stroked Ax’s back.

'Small for a horse,’ the second man said skeptically. 'What are you feeding that poor swaybacked nag?’

'Horse food,’ Marco said.

'Horse food?’

'Yeah. Um…you know, horse food. Boy, you should see how many cans this guy can eat. Man, all day long I’m opening cans of horse food and filling his dish.’

The two men stared. The cigar man moved his cigar to the other side of his mouth.

'Hah-hah-hah!’ I practically screamed. 'He’s such a kidder! Of course we’re not feeding our horse food from cans. We’re feeding him alfalfa and hay. Like you’d feed any horse. My friend is such a joker! Total joke machine!’

'Plus he’s a moron,’ Rachel added.

'Your horse is blue,’ the second man observed. 'Never seen a blue horse.’

'Never seen kids wearing feathers on their faces, either,’ cigar said. 'And I’ve seen a lot of things in my time.’

Jake was looking at me, waiting for me to come up with an answer. So was Rachel. So was Marco. Our 'horse’ was blue. There was no denying that. And yes, we had white-and-gray feathers sticking out of the sleeves and collars of our morphing suits.

'We like blue horses,’ I said lamely.

'Some day, all horses will be blue,’ Jake agreed.”

- Book #14: The Unknown, pg. 84 (by K.A. Applegate)

howl, part 1

Pairing: The Joker (Leto) x Reader
Rating: M
Warnings: Graphic violence, mild torture, eventual unhealthy relationship
Words: 1500
Requested by: Anonymous
Summary: The Joker doesn’t mind spilling a little blood to get back what’s been stolen from him. Usually, he wouldn’t think twice about torturing a pretty young woman for information. But this time? This time will be different.

The saints can’t help me now, the ropes have been unbound
I hunt for you with bloodied feet across the hallowed ground

Keep reading

aangtara  asked:

I can't read injustice (or play it for that matter) without getting mad /: I was mad about the whole idea of Lois dyin ////:

honestly i knew it was bad and i was gonna be mad so i made a point of not reading or playing anything pre injustice 2… i was like im here only for my boy jason… but then i fucked up and read the comics and now im mad,


1) Wolverine by Gabriele Dell'Otto

2) War Machine by Francesco Mattina

3) Ghost Rider by Bill Sienkiewicz

4) Joker by Dave McKean

5) Arseface by Glenn Fabry

6) John Constantine by Simon Bisley

7) Kingpin by Esad Ribic

8) Leonard Lawrence from Full Metal Jacket by Massimo Carnevale on Tumblr

9) Judge Dredd by Greg Staples

10) Cable by Adi Granov on Tumblr


THERE’S A DOG IN YOUR HEART // and it tells you to tear everything apart.

joker | harley quinn mix.    by hiraethy.

bang bang - nancy sinatra / madness - muse / where the wild roses grow - nick cave ft. kylie minogue / dog teeth - nicole dollanganger / you can be the boss - lana del rey / dangerous woman - ariana grande / religion - lana del rey / you don’t know love - editors / what kind of man - florence + the machine / bad romance - thirty seconds to mars / love is blindness - jack white.

listen ( )

Another Corrupted Soul

A/N: I’m back againn! I’m so overwhelmed by the amount of love my first fic got, it was so humbling and I can only hope the support will continue because otherwise I’m shit outta luck ;) But anyways, enjoy this new one! Also, creds to @whyarentyoulaughingj for helping me with the title, I was so stuck and I stg, you’re the sweetest and kindest soul, I love you already x.

Warning(s): Swearing, mild/flat-out smut (depends on your imagination)

Word count: 1,381

Pairing(s): Joker x Reader / Joker x OC (Original Character)

Originally posted by imnathbtw

          The sound of heels clicking against the cool, stone tiles of the infamous Arkham Asylum bounced off of the walls, combining with the noise of desperate calls of the criminals convicted and locked in heavily guarded cells. Freshly painted fingernails tapped against the hard wood of her clipboard, eventually stopping outside an intimidating metal door that read, “JOKER”, with two fibrous, armed security men either side. An innocent smile appeared on her face, switching her warm, glistening eyes from each guard.

“Good morning, boys,” her voice smooth and light.

A nod came from each as a greeting, one of them reaching to turn the rigid wheel and she watches the metal door slide open. Her demeanour changed drastically once the vibrantly haired man in a white straitjacket, with his head down, was in her view.

She shook her head, ridding her face of any fallen strays of hair before sauntering in confidently, her eyes glazing over with a cold, intense gaze. The room consisted of a single stainless steel table with black plastic chairs either end of it - the psychopath already seated in one as she took her place in the other. The walls painted white and kept in a pristine condition with a high window on one side, letting in a harsh sunlight which illuminated the floor.

“How are you today, Mr. Joker?” she inquired.

A low growl erupted from the man sat opposite her, his gaze shifting from his feet to her eyes before he rolled his neck. A sort of tick the psychiatrist had noticed early on in their hour-long sessions every week.

“Still calling me by my full name, Doctor?” the unsettling smile he had been known for slowly spread across his face as he asked the question.

“Mr. Joker, I will continue to call you by your full name for as long as our sessions last. We are not acquainted and never will be. This is strictly a doctor-patient relationship” her voice was firm and monotone, and as she spoke, she scribbled something on her clipboard.

“Oh, you’ve been saying that for too long, Doctor,” his smile dropped, a look of possession seemed to take over his pale face before he continued. “What makes you think you won’t give in next week?”

She returned his glare with a cool gaze as she pushed her glasses up with her forefinger. Clasping her hands together in front of her, she leant her elbows on the table.

“And what makes you think it won’t be the same answer?” She reiterated his choice of words before she swiftly moved on, not giving him a chance to retaliate. “Now, I’ve heard you haven’t been on your best behaviour, Mr. Joker, am I correct?”

The constrained man leant back in his chair and rolled his eyes, gritting his teeth which showed his abnormal metal grill. This was also another thing she noticed quickly at the beginning of the visits, her curiosity almost getting the better of her each time as she had to choke back the query of ‘what happened?’.

Hearing no reply from the obviously irritated gentleman, she persisted onwards, “Harassment of a prison guard in order to release you. Mentally abusing a medic in order to avoid getting injected. Seducing a fellow psychiatrist. Doctor Harleen Quinzel,” she flicked through multiple pieces of paper, reading the list of felonies committed, “If you’re thinking doing all of this will help you escape, you thought wrong.”

Her guarded body language and her sharp tongue managed to spark something inside of the deranged man, igniting a fire which rewired his thoughts to make the psychiatrist his, the only thing he could focus on.

He wasn’t used to women being so disinterested. Having closed legs when he walked into a room…

In a sudden movement, the man was on his feet, stalking around the table like a bird of prey until eventually standing right next to his therapist. Her chair was pushed backwards as she rose to her feet, turning sideways and meeting his stone cold gaze with fiery and phlegmatic eyes.

“You thought I was trying to escape?” he tsked and slowly inched forward, resulting in her subconsciously stepping backwards until her back hit the white wall of the boxed room.

“The evidence says it all, Mr. Joker”, innocence slipping out subtly in her voice but was quickly replaced with an extended posture, though her head inclining slightly meant both their faces ended up within close proximity of each other.

A sly smirk was painted on his red lips. He leant in further, pausing when the tip of his nose touched hers. Closing her eyes, she tried to steady her breathing - she felt confused and vulnerable; he had never done this before.

“Are you afraid of me, Doctor?” his voice now low, gravelly and dangerous, “Do I make you… nervous?”

She swallowed the lump forming in her throat and she re-opened her eyes, staring straight into the pools of insanity that were his eyes before she voiced her answer.

“Our session is over.” She pushed his body to the side, grabbing her clipboard and strut out of that godforsaken room, wiping the beads of sweat off of her forehead with the back of her shaking hand.

          The ringing of the alarm system permeated the air as every trained, and armed, security guard marched through the echoing halls of the distressed asylum. A sense of panic was overpowering the run-down building whilst the muffled sounds of moans arose from a locked janitors closet.

“Shit, J,” a quiet sigh of pleasure slipped from the psychiatrist’s lips as her patient, her secret lover, thrust into her. “You know they’re going insane trying to find you, right?”

A breathless chuckle came from the man she had once despised before a rich groan resounded, “Let them look, doll, I’m not gonna stop.”

He shifted his hips, making him plunge deeper at a new angle into the woman he had pressed against the wall. A high-pitched moan rang out in response.

“Never said I wanted you to,” she bit her lip, feeling the all-too-familiar knot forming in her stomach from the multiple times they had shared the experience together every week, “I’m gonna cum, J”.

“Not until Daddy tells you to, understand?”

She shut her eyes tightly, trying to control her forthcoming release. She leant forward and pressed her lips against his, and the two shared their desire with each other in a passionate kiss as he continued to pound into her.

“Cum inside me, Daddy, I’ll make you feel so good,” she tried her hand at dirty-talking to tip him over the edge, turning both of them on significantly and sending them closer to the end. “J, please, I can’t take it anymore, make me cum”.

He rocked his body into her rhythmically, pumping a few more times before he felt her letting go, walls clenching around him.

Feeling the contractions as they shot through his body, he groaned loudly in immense pleasure.

“Fuck, baby”. He released inside the woman who was supposed to be his doctor, filling her with his cum.

The only sound that filled the stuffy closet now was their heavy breathing that was exchanged between them as the high they both has just endured began to fade gradually. He pecked her on the lips before pulling out, then, in an attempt to find his strewn clothes on the floor, he crouched down and started to feel his way along the floor. In the meantime, she had already found her, rather tight-fitting, dress and white coat and admired the man’s tattooed torso and flexed muscles from the other side of the room.

“You better get back, J. Everyone’s panicking and we don’t want you getting punished any further, do we?” she paced herself towards the now dressed madman, giving him a smile and a kiss.

“I have a plan, doll; don’t you worry your pretty little head about that”, a sinister grin stretched across the handsome man’s face, confusing the therapist looking up at him.

“What plan?”

His feet carry him to the door, leaving her perplexed and standing in the middle of the small space, that now had a pungent smell of sex, as he pushed it open,

I need a machine gun.


It’s Mad, Mad Love // The Joker x Harley Quinn // part. x
[ listen here ]

part. i Psychos In Love
part. ii Criminal Lovers 
part. iii Crazy Stupid Love
part. iv Love & Other Drugs
part. v Lovesick
part. vi Of Love And Shadows
part. vii My Killer, My Lover
part. viii Super Psycho Love 
part. ix Dangerous Love 
part. xi Demolition Lovers 
part. xii Damaged + Rotten 
part. xiii Murder Me, Love 
part. xiv Evil Lovers