joker machine

I couldn’t take it anymore. I went for a ride in the rain. 






howl, part 2

Pairing: The Joker (Leto) x Reader
Rating: M (for some violence and mild torture)
Words: 1280
Requested by: Anonymous
Summary: The Joker doesn’t mind spilling a little blood to get back what’s been stolen from him. Usually, he wouldn’t think twice about torturing a pretty young woman for information. But this time? This time will be different.

Like some child possessed, the beast howls in my veins
I want to find you, tear out all of your tenderness


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Where’s my Machine Gun?

Joker: Harls,honey?

Harley: Ya?

Joker: Where’s daddy’s machine gun?

Harley: What?

Joker: Where. Is. My. Machine.Gun

Harley: I, uh.. put it away puddin..

Joker: Where?


Joker: I NEED IT.






Originally posted by ivanisinsane

howl, part 1

Pairing: The Joker (Leto) x Reader
Rating: M
Warnings: Graphic violence, mild torture, eventual unhealthy relationship
Words: 1500
Requested by: Anonymous
Summary: The Joker doesn’t mind spilling a little blood to get back what’s been stolen from him. Usually, he wouldn’t think twice about torturing a pretty young woman for information. But this time? This time will be different.

The saints can’t help me now, the ropes have been unbound
I hunt for you with bloodied feet across the hallowed ground

Keep reading

“'I asked you kids what you’re doing in that stall,’ the cigar man said, more sharply this time.

‘Um…grooming our horse?’ I offered.

Rachel’s eyebrows shot up. 'Our horse? Oh, yeah, that’s exactly what we’re doing. Grooming our horse.’ She reached over and stroked Ax’s back.

'Small for a horse,’ the second man said skeptically. 'What are you feeding that poor swaybacked nag?’

'Horse food,’ Marco said.

'Horse food?’

'Yeah. Um…you know, horse food. Boy, you should see how many cans this guy can eat. Man, all day long I’m opening cans of horse food and filling his dish.’

The two men stared. The cigar man moved his cigar to the other side of his mouth.

'Hah-hah-hah!’ I practically screamed. 'He’s such a kidder! Of course we’re not feeding our horse food from cans. We’re feeding him alfalfa and hay. Like you’d feed any horse. My friend is such a joker! Total joke machine!’

'Plus he’s a moron,’ Rachel added.

'Your horse is blue,’ the second man observed. 'Never seen a blue horse.’

'Never seen kids wearing feathers on their faces, either,’ cigar said. 'And I’ve seen a lot of things in my time.’

Jake was looking at me, waiting for me to come up with an answer. So was Rachel. So was Marco. Our 'horse’ was blue. There was no denying that. And yes, we had white-and-gray feathers sticking out of the sleeves and collars of our morphing suits.

'We like blue horses,’ I said lamely.

'Some day, all horses will be blue,’ Jake agreed.”

- Book #14: The Unknown, pg. 84 (by K.A. Applegate)


THERE’S A DOG IN YOUR HEART // and it tells you to tear everything apart.

joker | harley quinn mix.    by hiraethy.

bang bang - nancy sinatra / madness - muse / where the wild roses grow - nick cave ft. kylie minogue / dog teeth - nicole dollanganger / you can be the boss - lana del rey / dangerous woman - ariana grande / religion - lana del rey / you don’t know love - editors / what kind of man - florence + the machine / bad romance - thirty seconds to mars / love is blindness - jack white.

listen ( )


1) Wolverine by Gabriele Dell'Otto

2) War Machine by Francesco Mattina

3) Ghost Rider by Bill Sienkiewicz

4) Joker by Dave McKean

5) Arseface by Glenn Fabry

6) John Constantine by Simon Bisley

7) Kingpin by Esad Ribic

8) Leonard Lawrence from Full Metal Jacket by Massimo Carnevale on Tumblr

9) Judge Dredd by Greg Staples

10) Cable by Adi Granov on Tumblr

Suicide Squad Rewrite-Part 1

Open on the Red Hood mask,the surface of it reflecting the ACE Chemicals Plant in it. Go through The Killing Joke origin where the Joker is a sad comedian forced into being the Red Hood and when Batman comes after him he pleads with him to not hurt him, that it’s just a mistake, but Batman doesn’t listen to him and throws him into the chemicals. Show him crawling out of the river and pulling off his hood to see his face bleached, his hair green and a sadistic smile on his face.

Then we cut to the Joker in Arkham Asylum and the whole scene was him telling the story to Dr. Harleen Quinzel. The Joker says that he realizes now that the Batman victimizing him the way he did and it driving him insane is no excuse for what he’s done since then and that with Harleen’s help he’s now cured. He asks her if she can get a package from a friend of his and bring it to him during their next session. She’s hesitant, but he tells her it’s just a family heirloom and it would really help him in his recovery. She agrees.

Cut to the Joker firing a machine gun in Arkham. And his men strapping Harley onto the electroshock table. When Joker shocks her brain, we cut to the opening title:


The Joker could be played by Alan Tudyk. But a cast change is not really needed.

Then cut to the conference scene where Amanda Waller tells them what she wants to do, that in Superman’s absence they need a force for humanity, to protect them should they ever be threatened again. She gives the low down on the group, same deal, built in deniability etc. The squad is comprised of Deadshot, Captain Boomerang, Slipknot, El Diablo, someone named Jason, Enchantress, Katana and Killer Croc, led by Rick Flag. Harley Quinn is only put on the squad after they learn that the threat is Poison Ivy. We see Deadshot, Boomerang, El Diablo, Enchantress, Katana and Killer Croc’s flashbacks. Katana is a volunteer. One of the conference members asks how are they gonna keep Enchantress from getting her heart. Waller explains that the box the heart is inside is made up of nth metal, which is magic proof and that they keep her brother’s statue locked in a vault completely encased in nth metal, which is magic proof.

They’re recruited.

Poison Ivy contacts the government, with the threat on a city that her plant spores will replace the concrete monstrosity of the city with plants and trees and tells them to evacuate everyone in the city or they’ll die with it.

She then begins, her plants growing in an empty building.

So Amanda Waller, because they have no knowledge of Poison Ivy’s thought process, decides to use Harley Quinn to find her.

We see a flashback after Jason Todd was murdered, where Batman chases down and wrecks the Joker’s car, that he and Harley are in, onto a pier. Batman restrains Harley and beats the living crap out of the Joker, nearly killing him, but holds himself off. The Joker laughs in Batman’s face, saying that he’s disappointed in him, before setting off a bomb that blows up the pier, Harley falling into the water, Batman jumping in after her to save her. Joker is then presumed dead.

Harley’s recruited by the promise that she’ll be released so she can go get her psychotic boyfriend if she helps them find someone. Harley instantly agrees, not caring who.

When the team is assembled, they get their stuff and Harley gets a giant hammer excitedly that when Boomerang asks about she says it’s a surprise. Flag then takes it away. She pouts.

Deadshot introduces himself to Harley, to which she responds, “You know my name, but I don’t know yours.” Deadshot explains to her that he was hired to kill her once, but he rejected it. When she asks why, he tells her that he doesn’t kill victims. She asks what that means. He tells her that he knows what the Joker did to her. She says that she’s been told that by her psychiatrists and the Bat, but she never believed it, she thought that they were just trying to get her to turn on her Mr. J. She insists that Deadshot shouldn’t believe everything he hears. He’s silent.

Harley asks who the soldiers are. Flag tells says it’s none of her concern.

Meanwhile one of Harley’s guards is captured by the Joker’s thugs and taken to him, where he interrogates him. He gives Joker everything about the situation.

The squad is briefed. When Harley finds out that it’s Poison Ivy, we flashback:

To the events of No Man’s Land, where the Joker is in a gunfight with the Penguin’s men and Harley’s shot several times, but the Joker leaves her there to die when he’s chased Then a barefoot woman walks up to Harley, grass and flowers growing in her footsteps, as she bleeds out.
Cut to Harley waking up with healing plant enzymes on her gunshot wounds, to Poison Ivy watching her in her lair, surrounded by children. Harley asks Ivy why she saved her and Ivy says that she protects the helpless, it’s what she does. Harley is confused. Ivy tells her that she was left to die and she couldn’t let a helpless victim of the Joker suffer that fate. Ivy proceeds to give the children food to eat. Harley asks why the Bat hasn’t gotten her. Ivy says that Batman has bigger problems with the city having undergone a massive earthquake that’s run out most regular people and left the city to the criminals and psychos. She continues that her and Batman have an arrangement, he brings her any lost, orphaned or abandoned children to take care of and he leaves her alone. Harley tries to leave on her own, but is stopped by Ivy, who tells her that she can’t leave yet, as her wounds aren’t fully healed yet. Harley thanks her for everything and she says that it was no problem. Harley and Ivy introduce themselves officially to eachother and shake hands.
Poison Ivy is played by Mary-Elizabeth Winstead.

The same scene where the Joker breaks into ARGUS’ computer hard-drives and has Harley’s bomb disabled.

The squad arrives on the scene and Flag confirms that the entire area has been evacuated and quarantined, so even if they could disable their bombs they couldn’t get out, the official story being there was an earthquake. Same basic scene with Slipknot.

They track down Ivy and confront her. They fight her plant people first, before they get to her. Deadshot sees El Diablo not fighting and gets onto him about it. El blows him off, saying he won’t be a tool of violence and death anymore, he wants to do God’s will. After a short battle, Enchantress possess Ivy’s body. The squad tries to stop her, but she gives them traumatizing flashbacks to hold them off and fully possess Ivy, leaving June Moon’s body.

Deadshot’s flashbacks are of his dad abusing his mom when he was a child, beating her and him, him grabbing a gun and shooting his dad when he was going to kill her.

Harley’s flashbacks are of her suffering electroshock therapy by the Joker.

Katana’s are of her watching her husband being murdered with her sword.

Killer Croc’s are his parents locking him in their basement as a child and feeding him scraps of meat like an animal.

Jason’s are of him being beaten to death.

El Diablo’s are of his house burning around him.

Flag’s are of him seeing his mom die by being hit by a van as she pushes him out of the way of that car.

Flag shakes his off first and starts to aim his rifle at Enchantress as she’s still leaving June’s body, but hesitates to take the shot. Deadshot shakes his off just in time to see this.

Enchantress proceeds to bring the building they’re in down around them, the squad dodging the majority of the debris, but eventually getting knocked out.

Amanda Waller becomes enraged and sets off the charge in the heart to destroy it. But it doesn’t work. Enchantress teleports herself to ARGUS and confronts Waller, saying, “You should have done your research. My heart is only a weakness in a body that needs one. This body is unique. It doesn’t need a heart.” She places her heart back into her body, saying, “Now it can restore my full power without being a liability.”

Amanda Waller becomes enraged and sets off the charge in the heart to destroy it. But it doesn’t work. Enchantress teleports herself to ARGUS and confronts Waller, saying, “You should have done your research. My heart is only a weakness in a body that needs one. This body is unique. It doesn’t need a heart.” She places her heart back into her body, saying, “Now it can restore my full power without being a liability.”

Meanwhile Harley flashes back while out:

To Ivy trying to convince her not to go back to the Joker. Harley blows it off, saying that her puddin’ needs her, she’s his girl. Ivy tells her that she can be more than that.

Deadshot wakes Harley up as the rest of the squad gets itself together. They start to peace out only to be met with Flag holding the trigger to their nanite bombs, telling them that they have to stop Enchantress. They reluctantly agree. Flag wonders where she went, when June says that she’s gone to ARGUS. When the squad asks her how she knows that, she tells them that she still has some sort of psychic connection with Enchantress. They ask why and June says that she’s going after those who kept her imprisoned. Her psychic link to Enchantress kicks in and June sees her tell Waller to take her to where her brother is being kept. She tells them. Flag states that they have to get back to their helicopter and get to ARGUS now to keep Enchantress and her brother from killing anymore people.

Deadshot says that he knows a shortcut through one of the neighborhoods. They cut through the houses of a residential neighborhood, with Croc breaking down the doors. They see a bar built into the house. Boomerang immediately tries to go for the alcohol, but is dragged back by his jacket by Flag. Croc stops and looks solemnly at a picture of the family the home belongs to. Harley steps in and makes a hypothesis about Croc’s psyche: That even though he pretends to be a monster, all he’s ever really wanted is societal acceptance. That based on his actions, she suspects that his anger, desire for acceptance and inferiority is rooted in child abuse. Croc does admit that his family always saw him as a freak, as something to hide and lock away, but he’s happy the way he is, a creature that’s feared and respected. Harley then remarks that she bets that he wishes that that was true. They get to the building and go up it.

When the squad gets up to the top where the helicopter is, they see that the helicopter has been destroyed. The group that was guarding the helicopter has been killed. All by Enchantress. Flag is infuriated. The guards all form into monsters. Enchantress speaks through them to the squad, telling them that if they want to live, to leave her to do what she wants with Waller. Most of them consider it, but Flag states that there is no way he’s going to let that happen. The rest of the squad begrudgingly agree, because they have to.

The monsters attack them and they fight throughout the building, going down the floors, but still staying in the top levels.

They can’t defeat them all.

Harley and Deadshot stop 1 together barely, Katana puts 3 down, Croc kills 1 barely, while Boomerang hides, but they’re pretty much overpowered.

Deadshot again sees El Diablo doing nothing in the battle and confronts him about it. El says again that he won’t do violence, he won’t do evil anymore. Deadshot asks him if he thinks God wants Enchantress to continue killing, if God wants him to hide and do nothing. Deadshot pushes him some more until finally he uses his powers to blow the monsters all away.

In the fight Katana’s sword gets knocked out of her hands and out a broken window. She freaks and tries to jump out after it, but is grabbed by Flag. Croc grabs the sword through the window from the floor just below Katana and Flag. Harley takes a moment to give Katana a knowing look of understanding and has a quick flashback:

Of her jumping into the vat at the ACE Chemicals plant.

Harley and Deadshot have the same exchange about love.

After a brief few moments of calm, suddenly another helicopter swoops in with the Joker in it, piloted by his men, with more of his goons firing machine guns out the back. He calls Harley to him and she hesitates, torn between saving Ivy and going with him. She says, “Sorry Red” and goes to Joker. Flag tries to activate her nano-bomb, but it doesn’t work. Flag then pulls out his gun to kill Harley, but is shot in the side by a stray bullet. The helicopter starts to fly away. Flag gives Deadshot the order to kill Harley, but he doesn’t.

In the helicopter, Harley is overjoyed that the Joker has come for her, but then he hits her, knocking her to the ground and laughs about how he really got her with this and then complaining about how he had to waste his time finding her, because she’s his property, his joke. Harley has a flash to the Joker electrocuting her. She has a moment of realization about what was really done to her, then seeing herself being pushed into the the chemical vat by the Joker, not jumping in on her own. Harley’s eyes fill with tears, as the Joker continues to laugh at her. Suddenly the gas tank is shot from afar-

By Jason, using a sniper rifle.

The gas tank in the helicopter explodes. Harley jumps out as the helicopter it goes down, her landing on the roof of a building, it crashing to the ground.

Jason then says, “Rot in ****, clown.”


Please review and tell me what you think! Have a very great day!

God bless you all!

What happened After Suicide Squad Ended
  • Joker: Let's go home.
  • Harley: But my espresso machine. Can we take it?
  • Joker: Harley we don't have that much time we need to go now.
  • Harley: But I want my espresso machine.
  • Joker: I'll buy you a new one let's go
  • Harley: But I want THIS espresso machine.
Another Corrupted Soul

A/N: I’m back againn! I’m so overwhelmed by the amount of love my first fic got, it was so humbling and I can only hope the support will continue because otherwise I’m shit outta luck ;) But anyways, enjoy this new one! Also, creds to @whyarentyoulaughingj for helping me with the title, I was so stuck and I stg, you’re the sweetest and kindest soul, I love you already x.

Warning(s): Swearing, mild/flat-out smut (depends on your imagination)

Word count: 1,381

Pairing(s): Joker x Reader / Joker x OC (Original Character)

Originally posted by imnathbtw

          The sound of heels clicking against the cool, stone tiles of the infamous Arkham Asylum bounced off of the walls, combining with the noise of desperate calls of the criminals convicted and locked in heavily guarded cells. Freshly painted fingernails tapped against the hard wood of her clipboard, eventually stopping outside an intimidating metal door that read, “JOKER”, with two fibrous, armed security men either side. An innocent smile appeared on her face, switching her warm, glistening eyes from each guard.

“Good morning, boys,” her voice smooth and light.

A nod came from each as a greeting, one of them reaching to turn the rigid wheel and she watches the metal door slide open. Her demeanour changed drastically once the vibrantly haired man in a white straitjacket, with his head down, was in her view.

She shook her head, ridding her face of any fallen strays of hair before sauntering in confidently, her eyes glazing over with a cold, intense gaze. The room consisted of a single stainless steel table with black plastic chairs either end of it - the psychopath already seated in one as she took her place in the other. The walls painted white and kept in a pristine condition with a high window on one side, letting in a harsh sunlight which illuminated the floor.

“How are you today, Mr. Joker?” she inquired.

A low growl erupted from the man sat opposite her, his gaze shifting from his feet to her eyes before he rolled his neck. A sort of tick the psychiatrist had noticed early on in their hour-long sessions every week.

“Still calling me by my full name, Doctor?” the unsettling smile he had been known for slowly spread across his face as he asked the question.

“Mr. Joker, I will continue to call you by your full name for as long as our sessions last. We are not acquainted and never will be. This is strictly a doctor-patient relationship” her voice was firm and monotone, and as she spoke, she scribbled something on her clipboard.

“Oh, you’ve been saying that for too long, Doctor,” his smile dropped, a look of possession seemed to take over his pale face before he continued. “What makes you think you won’t give in next week?”

She returned his glare with a cool gaze as she pushed her glasses up with her forefinger. Clasping her hands together in front of her, she leant her elbows on the table.

“And what makes you think it won’t be the same answer?” She reiterated his choice of words before she swiftly moved on, not giving him a chance to retaliate. “Now, I’ve heard you haven’t been on your best behaviour, Mr. Joker, am I correct?”

The constrained man leant back in his chair and rolled his eyes, gritting his teeth which showed his abnormal metal grill. This was also another thing she noticed quickly at the beginning of the visits, her curiosity almost getting the better of her each time as she had to choke back the query of ‘what happened?’.

Hearing no reply from the obviously irritated gentleman, she persisted onwards, “Harassment of a prison guard in order to release you. Mentally abusing a medic in order to avoid getting injected. Seducing a fellow psychiatrist. Doctor Harleen Quinzel,” she flicked through multiple pieces of paper, reading the list of felonies committed, “If you’re thinking doing all of this will help you escape, you thought wrong.”

Her guarded body language and her sharp tongue managed to spark something inside of the deranged man, igniting a fire which rewired his thoughts to make the psychiatrist his, the only thing he could focus on.

He wasn’t used to women being so disinterested. Having closed legs when he walked into a room…

In a sudden movement, the man was on his feet, stalking around the table like a bird of prey until eventually standing right next to his therapist. Her chair was pushed backwards as she rose to her feet, turning sideways and meeting his stone cold gaze with fiery and phlegmatic eyes.

“You thought I was trying to escape?” he tsked and slowly inched forward, resulting in her subconsciously stepping backwards until her back hit the white wall of the boxed room.

“The evidence says it all, Mr. Joker”, innocence slipping out subtly in her voice but was quickly replaced with an extended posture, though her head inclining slightly meant both their faces ended up within close proximity of each other.

A sly smirk was painted on his red lips. He leant in further, pausing when the tip of his nose touched hers. Closing her eyes, she tried to steady her breathing - she felt confused and vulnerable; he had never done this before.

“Are you afraid of me, Doctor?” his voice now low, gravelly and dangerous, “Do I make you… nervous?”

She swallowed the lump forming in her throat and she re-opened her eyes, staring straight into the pools of insanity that were his eyes before she voiced her answer.

“Our session is over.” She pushed his body to the side, grabbing her clipboard and strut out of that godforsaken room, wiping the beads of sweat off of her forehead with the back of her shaking hand.

          The ringing of the alarm system permeated the air as every trained, and armed, security guard marched through the echoing halls of the distressed asylum. A sense of panic was overpowering the run-down building whilst the muffled sounds of moans arose from a locked janitors closet.

“Shit, J,” a quiet sigh of pleasure slipped from the psychiatrist’s lips as her patient, her secret lover, thrust into her. “You know they’re going insane trying to find you, right?”

A breathless chuckle came from the man she had once despised before a rich groan resounded, “Let them look, doll, I’m not gonna stop.”

He shifted his hips, making him plunge deeper at a new angle into the woman he had pressed against the wall. A high-pitched moan rang out in response.

“Never said I wanted you to,” she bit her lip, feeling the all-too-familiar knot forming in her stomach from the multiple times they had shared the experience together every week, “I’m gonna cum, J”.

“Not until Daddy tells you to, understand?”

She shut her eyes tightly, trying to control her forthcoming release. She leant forward and pressed her lips against his, and the two shared their desire with each other in a passionate kiss as he continued to pound into her.

“Cum inside me, Daddy, I’ll make you feel so good,” she tried her hand at dirty-talking to tip him over the edge, turning both of them on significantly and sending them closer to the end. “J, please, I can’t take it anymore, make me cum”.

He rocked his body into her rhythmically, pumping a few more times before he felt her letting go, walls clenching around him.

Feeling the contractions as they shot through his body, he groaned loudly in immense pleasure.

“Fuck, baby”. He released inside the woman who was supposed to be his doctor, filling her with his cum.

The only sound that filled the stuffy closet now was their heavy breathing that was exchanged between them as the high they both has just endured began to fade gradually. He pecked her on the lips before pulling out, then, in an attempt to find his strewn clothes on the floor, he crouched down and started to feel his way along the floor. In the meantime, she had already found her, rather tight-fitting, dress and white coat and admired the man’s tattooed torso and flexed muscles from the other side of the room.

“You better get back, J. Everyone’s panicking and we don’t want you getting punished any further, do we?” she paced herself towards the now dressed madman, giving him a smile and a kiss.

“I have a plan, doll; don’t you worry your pretty little head about that”, a sinister grin stretched across the handsome man’s face, confusing the therapist looking up at him.

“What plan?”

His feet carry him to the door, leaving her perplexed and standing in the middle of the small space, that now had a pungent smell of sex, as he pushed it open,

I need a machine gun.


It’s Mad, Mad Love // The Joker x Harley Quinn // part. x
[ listen here ]

part. i Psychos In Love
part. ii Criminal Lovers 
part. iii Crazy Stupid Love
part. iv Love & Other Drugs
part. v Lovesick
part. vi Of Love And Shadows
part. vii My Killer, My Lover
part. viii Super Psycho Love 
part. ix Dangerous Love 
part. xi Demolition Lovers 
part. xii Damaged + Rotten 
part. xiii Murder Me, Love 
part. xiv Evil Lovers