=From DC Comics comes the Suicide Squad, an antihero team of incarcerated supervillains who act as deniable assets for the United States government, undertaking high-risk black ops missions in exchange for commuted prison sentences.=
From DC Comics comes the Suicide Squad, an antihero team of incarcerated supervillains who act as deniable assets for the United States government, undertaking high-risk black ops missions in exchange for commuted prison sentences.
You should have seen him when he first arrived at Arkham, Dr. Quinzel. He was just a boy. Good lookin, too. But somethin–somethin just wasn’t right with ‘em. Real shame. When you see him now..well..just remember that he’s human. A real, fucked up, straight jacket bound, human.
I just sit on the couch letting my heart fall into pieces as J walks away from me. I know I said I can’t expect what I put in, I know I said that I can handle his mood swings, I know what I fucking said. This is, different. This isn’t a mood swing. This isn’t him not giving back. It feels like him giving up. Giving up on, me? Or us? Another tear falls down my cheek and I’m quick to wipe it with my left hand. The pain in my shoulder feels minimal compared to the pressure I feel on my chest, this could be from the pain medication. ‘What can I do? I’m weak. I’m broken. I’m useless. Hey dad, look im everything you always said I would be! Aren’t you fucking proud. I turned out just like mom. Maybe a little worse since you weren’t the clown fucking prince, but I’m sure you are looking up at me from hell with a grin on your face.’ More tears. I repress the memories like I normally do and wipe my face again. The medication has my body feeling heavy, I feel like I can barely lift my arms. Just a few seconds pass and I have to lay back down. My shoulder feels numb, but so does the rest of me. I fall asleep. I wake up and I’m in our bed. Alone. I turn my head to look at the clock, I wince at the pain, it’s 4am. There is a pill and another glass of water by the bed, the moon shines just enough light so I can see my surroundings. Lucas is in the room, sleeping in a chair against the door. I make a slight grunting noise trying to get up and Lucas jumps up.
“No Kat, don’t do that. Let me help you.” He lets me push off him with my left hand and he picks me up a little so I can sit up.
My mind feels foggy and my emotions are drained. I take another pill.
“How are you feeling?” He is sitting on Js side of the bed.
I don’t answer. I’m just staring at the sheets where he used to be. My hand reaches over to them, they are cold and unbothered.
It feels as if someone is taking and ice pick to my chest. The pressure I feel runs through my ribs making it hard to breathe, my throat feels like it’s closing in, my head feels like a thousand nails have been hammered through my skull. I can’t speak, if I do I’ll lose the little bit of composer I have left. I lay back down on my left side facing away from his side of the bed. I close my eyes and a few tears escape my grip.
I feel Lucas leave the bed and hear him take his seat by the door again. I know his eyes are fixed on me.
I wake up and it’s almost 1 in the afternoon. I turn on my back and just stare at the ceiling. I want this to all be a dream. A really bad dream. I groan trying to get up and Lucas is still in the room, he rushes to my side again and sits me up.
“Are you hungry? Do you need anything?” He’s trying to make eye contact.
“A shower.” I manage to get out as I lean my head back against the headboard and close my eyes.
“Just, give me one minute Kat.” He goes to the door and moves his chair, he opens it up very little and calls for Jackie. I hear her footsteps come up the stairs.
I still have my head back and eyes closed. I don’t even acknowledge her.
“Yes, Lucas, is everything ok?” She sounds tired.
“She wants a shower. I know boss wouldn’t want me to handle that.” He leaves the room.
“Ok honey, I’m just going to help you up and out of those clothes and take the bandage off, I’ll sit on the other side of the door if you need me ok?”
I lift my head and open my eyes and give her a nod with a weak smile that fades quickly.
She comes over and puts her shoulder under my left arm and helps me swing my legs over the edge. I’m able to get up, we head into the bathroom and she undresses me like a child, I feel helpless. She take the bandage off and it hurts a lot less than I was expecting.
“I’ll be right outside the door dear, let me know if you need anything.” She heads out and I hear her get comfortable on the other side. I’m able to turn the water on. I get in and let the hot water run over me. I sit under the hot water, I want to cry but nothing comes out. My chest aches to the core of my body, I don’t want to move, I don’t think I can move. Jackie knocks and opens the door a little and check on me. I’m sitting on the floor of the shower with my left arm resting on my knees that are pulled to my chest.
“No, no, no sweetie. Don’t, it’s ok. It will be ok. Honey. Please.” Her voice sounds like it’s breaking. She gets in the shower fully clothed and picks me up with my left arm, she gets me out of the shower and wraps a towel around me. She sits me down on a chair in the bathroom as she gets some clothes for me. She comes back in with a short sleeve shirt and some sweat pants. ‘I know these aren’t from this closet.’ she helps me change and helps me back into bed. She wraps a towel around herself and heads toward the door.
“I’ll bring you something to eat in a few, do you need anything else dear?” She gives me a smile. I shake me head softly. She walks out and Lucas is right there to take his place again.
I’m starting at the sheets again, still cold. I wonder how long it’s been since he has even seen me. I don’t even know where he is. Where has he been sleeping. My mind goes back to what the guard says about the stripper, fucking knives in my chest. He is the Joker, I shouldn’t expect anything less. I do though, well i did.
Lucas breaks my train of thought, “How did you sleep? Feel better after the shower?” He still sitting in his chair.
“I’m, ok.” The words feel like razor blades as they escape my mouth.
“How’s the shoulder feel? Has the pain died down any?” I can’t tell if he’s actually wanting to know or trying to make small talk.
I rest my head back against the headboard and close my eyes again, “It’s better.” I let out a sigh.
Jackie comes in, her hair is still wet but she’s in dry clothes, and has some soup and a roll with a large glass of water. “Could you leave us alone for a quick minute Lucas?” She rest her hand on his shoulder. He nods and leaves.
“Kat, what’s, I need you to talk to me. I’m not giving you anymore pain pills till you do. I don’t want these to be an emotional crutch for you and you’re tough, so I’m not worried about the pain in your shoulder.” She sets the food next to me and sits on the bed.
“I, I don’t know. J, he hasn’t been here. Or I don’t know if he has.” My voice trails off, my throat gets tight again.
“Sweetie, I’m going to just be honest with what I do know because you deserve it ok. Mr. J hasn’t been here. Not since that night. He’s been at his club. I have no clue what he does there all day and night.” She pauses and gives the last piece of information, her voice is shaking when she speaks, “He asked that you be taken back to your place tomorrow. Honey, I know things were just going right, I’m so so sorry.” She wipes away her few tears.
I look at the sheets next to me, “Ok. Thanks. Can, can I just be alone. Just for a few minutes.” My voice is trembling.
“Absolutely sweetie.” She gives me a hug that i don’t return. She wipes a tear from my face, “You are so strong Kat, please don’t let him do this to you.” She leaves.
I’m left alone with the most tragic news I’ve ever received. I want so badly to go back in time, I want to go back to that morning. My eyes can’t hold back the tears anymore, I let them just continue to fall. My chest feels tight and the pain I feel is straight through to my bones. I start sobbing. My back starts to hurt and in return it shoots pain to my shoulder. I curl up on my right shoulder, the pain last for a second, there are much deeper things being felt. I reach my hand across to his side of the bed and grip the sheets. Remembering us. Remembering him.
I scream at the pain from my chest. Lucas rushed in and stops, he closes the door quietly and sits in his chair. He doesn’t say anything. He lets me cry and I appreciate it.
I’m trying to find a full breath of air, the tears have stopped but it feels like they haven’t. I sit up and grab the glass of water with my left hand and throw it at the wall, the aim is off but it hits the wall and breaks. “Take me home now.” My voice is hoarse.
“Uh, I can’t.” He comes over to me and rubs my back, it feels good.
I rest my head on his shoulder, “Why?”
“It’s not, he said tomorrow.” His voice is low.
I know he doesn’t want to say his name, “Just let me out of this fucking place, please Lucas.”
He nods. “I’ll get you home.” He gets up and grabs a small bag but stuffs as much clothes as he can in it. Including some of the nice jewelry and dresses. He gets another bag and throws all the makeup in it.
“That stuff was bought with my money!” I try to smile at him
He smiles back “Sorry!” He has both bags in one hand, he helps me up and he opens the door.
I take in everything from the house. The reflection off the floor, the extravagant decor, the rooms I still haven’t seen and never will. I walk out and walk down the stairs. Jackie is in the kitchen and runs over when she sees me.
“What is going on? Are you ok dear?”
“I’m doing him one last favor.” I go in and hug her with my left arm, “I’m going to miss you Jackie. So much!” I let her go.
“Kat, but you can’t, not, tomorrow. Wait!” She pauses again. She gives me a sad look and grabs my hand, “I told you, you are so strong. I’m going to miss you as well dear.” She gives me another hug and Lucas walks me out of the house. He sets my stuff in the back of the car and opens the door for me and puts the seatbelt on me as well. He gets in and we are off. I don’t look back.
We pull up to my old place. Such a different lifestyle. Lucas opens my door and undoes the seatbelt, he helps me out of the Car, then grabs the bags. “You ok?” He stands next to me.
“Never been better.” I give him a small smile and start walking towards the door. He follows.
We get up to my room and I open the door, it’s not even locked. I walk in and everything is cleaned. The last time I came here everything had been thrown everywhere, “Who, what happened?”
“Some people came down and cleaned your place for you.” He says in a ‘you’re welcome’ tone.
“You didn’t, this? Why?” I laugh a little bit.
“It was a few of us guys, we know you wouldn’t be able to do it once you got back here. He’s a fucked up guy, but that doesn’t mean we all are.” He gives me a hug. “I’m, im sorry Kat. This isn’t, it’s not right.” He sighs, “Also, a physical therapist will be here tomorrow for your shoulder.”
“Can’t wait.” I sigh and give him a hug. “Thanks Lucas.” I let go and he walks out the door giving me one last look saying please be ok. I lock the door behind him.
I sit on my old bed with the scratchy sheets. I let out a sigh. I lay down on my back, I’m empty. I have nothing left in me, I can feel the pain set in again. This time all over my body. ‘Why J, why are you doing this to me. Why did I believe you, why did I fucking believe you, why am i surprised! Fucking pussy can’t even give me an explantation. I trusted you. Wanted you. Needed you. I fucking loved you. I just want an explanation.’ I turn on my left side. I can’t count how many times I’ve cried already and I know this won’t be my last. I know people can die from a broken heart and I feel that’s my fate. I don’t want to live, at least not right now.
it feels like months have gone by but it has only been a week. One week of absolute torture. My heart aches everyday; like someone just twisted it over and over again, I can’t even force myself to eat anymore; all my clothes are baggy, I thought I was stronger, I thought I would survive this. My shoulder feels better, the therapist comes everyday. She tries to make me laugh but I can’t. I don’t take the pain medication because feeling the pain lets me know I’m still alive. I’m not sure I want to be, but I am.
I haven’t talked to anyone. I haven’t gone outside or even turned on the TV. The outside world doesn’t seem real. I feel like everything has stopped spinning.
A knock on my door pulls me out of it. I get out of bed, sluggishly. I walk to the front door and open it. It’s Lucas.
“Kat.” He looks me up and down and he’s looks sad once he realizes the state im in.
“Hi.” I leave the door open and walk back into my room and lay on the bed again. I can’t feel anything right now.
“Uh, I just wanted to check on you. Just to see, you should eat something.” He can’t even ask how i am doing.
“Im not hungry, i’m fine.” Im curled up in my bed with my back facing him.
“Kat, be honest with me, please.” he is sitting next to the bed.
I turn over facing him, “I want to die. Is that what you want to hear? I can’t eat, I can’t fucking function. My heart is in pieces. I can’t do this anymore Lucas. I can’t live without him.” I can feel the tears running down my face.
He wipes my face, “Have you watched the news?”
Im confused, what kind of question is that after I just spilled my heart out. “No.” I turn back around.
“He can’t, or at least he won’t survive without you either.” he sighs, “He is more reckless, he doesn’t even try to fight, he puts himself in the way of danger, I don’t think he wants to live. He hasn’t left the ouse for 3 days now. I don’t think you understand what is going on. I think you should come back to the house.”
“Why are you here?” My emotions are wrecked right now.
“Kat, just come with me. I’ll bring you home later, ok?”
I turn around and nod. I don’t know how healthy this decision can be. I’m not even over him and I’m going back to him. I can’t say no though. I need to see him. I want to see him. I don’t know what emotion is taking over right now, but i get up and pull my hair in a bun and change into a t-shirt and jeans. We leave.
The drive is silent. I keep trying to play scenarios in my head, they all end with me killing him. I feel like I am going to vomit when I see the house.
“Take me home please Lucas, i can’t do this. i can’t. I don’t think I can survive it.” He has the car door open for me to get out.
“Kat, I promise you, you will be fine.” He reaches his hand out. I accept.
My heart is racing, what ifs are running through my head. Lucas opens the door and we walk in. Its quiet. My eyes well up with the sights, remembering everything. Lucas places his hand on my back, “You got this Kat.”
I nod. I look for Jackie but shes not in the kitchen. I walk over to the counter and open a drawer, I pull out a knife and carry it with me to the couch.
“Kat, really?” Lucas looks at me with his eyebrows raised.
“You don’t know what I have been through.” Is all I say as I sit.
I wait a few minutes. My heart sinks into my stomach as J flashes around the corner.
His hair is perfectly done, his skin bright white. He looks upset. More upset than before. He is dressed like he is ready to go out. I think I am going to lose it and I want to run out the door. I take the knife out and hold it next to me. I just wait for him to make eye contact. ‘He doesn’t have to know that he killed me.’
He hasn’t noticed me sitting on the couch, “Hello, baby.” I hope my voice sounds convincing.
His glare is sharp, I can’t read him in the slightest, but he stops and stares. I want to run at him and tell him i missed him and then stab him in the heart and scream fuck you. I don’t.
“Cat got your tongue J?” I stand up, knife by my side. I am not trying to hide that he hurt me, or that I want to hurt him. Im trying to hide that he killed me.
Still nothing, i go for it.
“Too much of a pussy to give me a reason J? Just couldn’t man the fuck up and tell me why you didn’t want me? Just had everyone else deal with your trash? Just let everyone else deal with the fucked up things you do?” I start walking towards him. He isn’t saying anything and I feel powerful after saying what has been on my mind. “Come on J, don’t you miss playing with me?” I run the knifes blade against my jeans. Still nothing from him. I walk up to him, my face close to his and my eyes are locked on his. I put the tip of the knife at his chest, “Did it fucking kill you like it killed me J? Did your heart fucking break to its core? Did you lose sleep? Could you eat? Did you have a gun shot wound that would remind you every second of every damn day that you were alone? Did you fucking miss me J?” I press the tip in the knife in his skin, “Say something.”
“Yes.” His voice is low and gives me chills. I don’t let it phase me. I press the tip in more, a drop of blood runs down his chest. Im angry, so angry with him because i want to forgive him already.
“Yes what, asshole?” I’m not letting his go that easy, I can’t.
“It killed me.” He sounds like he is in pain. “What, what are you even doing here?”
“I had to see if it killed you as well, you look fine though. Perfectly fine. Must be nice.” I take the knife out of his skin. I go to walk away and he grabs my arm, i turn around and put the blade to his throat, “Don’t fucking touch me.” he lets go and lifts his hands.
“Go out with me tonight?” He still sounds like he is in pain, but I cant read him. “Please, Kat.” He moves closer to me and I hold out the knife, “I understand, let me explain. Please, just one night and I will never bother you again.“
I lower the knife. I don’t know what kind of spell he has over me but I nod, “One night.”
Plot : the reader is sick of the new dancers at the club being all over J .
Warning : swearing, guns , drug use and killing .
Pairing : (Jared Leto ) Joker x Reader
His ass is mine .
Being J’s queen ment a lot of things.
For example life was never dull or boring.
But at the same time it was stressful.
Especially with all the new girls at his club.
Basically almost all of the dancers and singers quit and J had to hire new girls witch you didn’t mind only if it wasn’t for one thing .
They were all over him .
You knew this little trick . They try to get close to him to use him in their own selfish pleasures . You didn’t like that at all . Joker on the other hand . He either didn’t mind or ignored their attempts to get close to him . But it still ticked you off when one if them would sit on YOUR place in J’s lap . You hated it with a burning passion. He was yours and yours alone.
But when ever you tried to show it a different girl would outshine you .
You were stressed out . You were supposed to go to the club tonight but you stayed at home , surprising J at the same time. You never stayed home .
But after a few hours your friend Ellie from the club, the bartender, texted you and sending a pic with the text .
“Hey girl in think you need to see this bs and take care of it .” And as for the pic it was if J at the VIP room talking to someone while 4 girls were basically on him .
“Ok this just crossed the line . I’ll be there it 5 , shits going down ” you text her, but what Ellie didn’t know was the fact that a few hours ago you decidedto relieve the stress.
So you smoked some cannabis and right now you were high as all hell itself. If you usually were a quiet girl and usually didn’t show much emotion , under drugs you were completely the opposite. And right now you were pissed.
You felt insane . You wanted to show this world how crazy you can be and oh boy some one will die tonight .
You decided to play tonight and be naughty.
Taking your gun holsters and your 2 favourite guns you were out the door . Your hair lose , only in short shorts, a tank top and white converse.
Getting in to your lamborghini you drove off . Basically breaking all traffic laws on your way as you drove at high speed , changing lanes when you felt like it .
You pulled over to the clubs entrance and getting out of the car you entered the club. The music blasted and there was a ton of people around, some passed out drunk and some bearly hanging to their consciousness . Your eyes landed on Joker , he was as usual in the VIP room talking, and of course all the bitches were there . You growled and walked right it to the VIP.
J looked at you, a smirk on his lips “oh doll you finally decided to join me ?~” he slightly purred at you but you ignored him and the other guy he was taking to . Your eyes fixed on the 4 girls behind J , that he seemed to ignore.
2 blondes , 1 brunette and 1 ginger.
“One your knees and in line . ” you say to them and one of the blondes started taking with the most annoying voice “Ummm sorry there girly we only listen to J here ” she giggles at you as she wraps her arms around Joker from behind.
Wrong move .
Taking out your gun you shot it millimetres from her head . She and the other 3 screamed jumping back. Joker didn’t move at all , you saw the interest in his eyes along side with amusement.
“Do i need to repeat myself now ? ” you asked , a smirk started to form on your lips as they did as you commanded . You started to walk around them in a circle and stopped right in front of the annoying blonde. You started pointing your gun at her “now now girls , I’m only proving a point. You crossed the line many times but it seems your luck run out today ” you giggle. In the corner of your eye you saw that J was enjoying this . He loved the wild side of you , especially when you let it all out and show your dominant side .
You started pointing the gun at each of the girls. “ eeny , meeny , miny , moe . ” you pointed the gun to the next girl, the next and the next “who’s the whore that has to go ?” You smirked as the gun landed on the same blonde girl.
“Look I’m sorry, please, don’t do this ! I have a sick mother and a baby sister!! Have mercy!” She screamed as tears started falling from her eyes .
Out of the corner of your eye you see J stand up and walk behind you . He wraps his arms around your waist “Now , now doll, I just got the floors all nice and clean . Don’t mess it up for me ” he whispered in your ear. His hot breath sending chills running up your spine.
You still didn’t look at him , eyes fixed on the sobbing girl. “You have disrespected the queen you worthless slut .” You say in a growl “I’M SO SORRY! ” she sobbed. “You tried to take what’s mine . I don’t like that. No one , takes what’s mine . So I just might kill you to prove a point, or if could always skin you alive. Choose your own poison ” you laughed in her face . “Your sick! ” the ginger yelled , and with one shot to the head she was laying on the floor dead as the others screamed “ How rude ” you say .
“Pay attention lady’s. I hate to repeat myself. This guy ” you say glancing at the amused Joker “his ass is mine and mine alone , anyone thies to take him will die in a matter oh 4 hours. AM I CLEAR?!” “YES” .
With that same smirk on your face you shoot at the ceiling, scaring the girls of , leaving you and J alone.
“You were bad today ” you say looking at him.
“Really? And here i though you were the one being naughty. Look at the mess you made doll ” he said to you , turning you around to face him . “Well we could have averted that if you behaved ” you say “oh what do I see here? You were jealous weren’t you ”
“Just proving a point darling ” you say before kissing him .
“LEAVE ME ALONE!!” you screamed as you threw a vase at Joker who dodged it with ease. “What the hell is your problem today??” He gritted through his teeth as he took a step closer to you. “Don’t you even dare!!” You screamed again as he grabbed your wrist pulling you closer against him. “Y/N Y/L/N what have I told you about talking to me like that??” He growled down at you as you squirmed against his tight hold. “I don’t know and I don’t fucking care. I am done listening to you!!” You tried to jerk your arm away from him. He slammed you against the wall behind you pinning you there with his hips. “No you’re not… Honey in case you’ve forgot… You belong to me… No wand forever…” He purred against your throat bitterly as he fiddled with the huge diamond ring on your finger. “Get the hell out!!” You shove against him but he doesn’t budge. “Excuse me??” He looked down at you wide eyed. You swallowed hard as his hold on you began to loosen. “I thought I just heard you say “get the hell out”… Did I hear you correctly??” He asked you seriously with a dark voice that made your once boiling blood run cold. Before you could answer back with either the truth or a lie he had already slung you onto the over sized king bed you two shared. He was on top of you pinning you down heavily with dark that almost glowed with anger. “Maybe I don’t want to get the hell out of my own house…” Sinking down lower against he bit you hard on the neck. “It seems like I need to remind you who you are… And who you’re married to…” He spoke with your flesh still in his mouth as you whimpered out.