joke justice

3

I have been wanting to make this joke since I started reading @wilyart‘s Insomnia comic, so I finally did it.

No regrets.

Now go read Insomnia, it’s an amazing comic with beautiful art and an incredibly well written and thought out story.

the first few weeks of the justice league actually being a team are probably a fucking nightmare. superman keeps using midwestern expressions. you’re not going to need paper towels to clean this up, you’re gonna need an irrigation system, he says. nobody is entirely sure what that means. aquaman keeps leaving in the middle of fights to go save lobsters from restaurants, because he can’t just let them get eaten, y'know? wonder woman quickly figures out that there’s maybe three people here with any serious combat experience. the flash is just a police officer, man. that’s all he knows. she’s in despair. speaking of the flash, someone made the mistake of giving him caffienated coffee, and now the power’s out. someone tell green lantern that he can’t wear the same gross jacket to every meeting. shouldn’t his space cop uniform keep him warm. who keeps playing ‘mmm whatcha say’ over the speakers. batman keeps disappearing during after battles, and it turns out he’s at the daycare down the street hanging out with the babies. he got bored

The Young Justice team as things my chemistry class has said:

M'gann: *teacher announces pop quiz* “Where are the aliens when you need them, and can they please abduct me and take me away from this awful place" 

Artemis: "I’ll have you know, there’s fifteen bags of pot in my locker and I swear to god I’ll break into your house, plant them all under your pillow, and have the police take you away unless you give back that strawberry smencil right now" 

Jaime: "I want to die” “Wow, same, let’s jump out that window while the teacher’s not looking”  

Wally: “What do you get when you mix beauty and a nice personality? A date with me, hello" 

Conner: *breaks hour long silence* "You know, I ate a shark once" 

Kaldur:*kid answers obvious question completely wrong* Teacher: "You know, I could have been a surgeon or a scientist, but nooo, I decided to come here and meet all of you people" 

Zatanna: "Wtf, I got a hundred on the quiz?!” *whispers* “Thank you, illuminati”

Bart: *lights Bunsen burner and holds finger near flame* “I’ll touch this for a dollar”

Raquel: *two students are talking three feet away from each other* “OH MAH GAWD, GET A ROOM" 

Roy: "Where do babies come from?” “Yo mamma" 

Dick: "How much of these chemicals do I have to drink to get superpowers" 

Tim: "My brother got arrested yesterday, so guess who’s the favorite child now”

Mal:*principal announces lockdown drill over loudspeaker* “Oh well, I guess we’re all dying today, it was fun while it lasted" 

Virgil: "Excuse me teacher? Yeah, um, my sleeve caught on fire what do I do now" 

Garfield: "I swear to god my dog actually ate my homework you have to believe me”   

  • <p> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b>Batman:</b> *sees a picture of superman in the paper *<p/><b>Batman:</b> *takes out a sharpie and draws glasses on him* heh heh. Nerd<p/><b>Batman:</b> wait, it's. That's. Clark Kent.<p/><b>Batman:</b> *rereads article* did he seriously write an article about himself??<p/></p><p/></p><p/></p>

I can’t believe I have just spent days of my life defending people I don’t even fucking like because there are actual cunts on this website who 

a) think you should be able to physically assault people who disagree with them

b) think context doesn’t matter

c) think jokes are any kind of -ist, or are in any way inherently bad because they’re against some protected group

d) don’t think freedom of speech should apply to those they disagree with, and are willing to hurt people and violently riot in order to shut them up

You’re all terrible, you have wasted my time and you have only proven yourselves to be the fascistic cunts that you claim to hate. 

9

Last night in Sweden: During a rally, Trump attacked European refugee policies by quoting a terrorist attack that happened in Sweden - according to him, at least. “You look at what happened last night in Sweden, who would believe this?” Literally nobody. Cause nothing happened the other night in Sweden.

Mark Hamill. The Legend. THE Joker.

joker: hamillGIFs | tags

Probably people who actually liked Suicide Squad…

Did I mention I prefer this Joker to ANY version DC’s thrown at us over the years? Because this Joker actually calls Harley Quinn his “girl buddy”. He doesn’t abandon her, verbally hurt her, or let alone rebuff her when she tries to be his shoulder to cry on. 

When people say The Lego Batman Movie is everything we wanted in a Batman movie, they MEAN it. And for the first time ever I actually can call Joker cute. :D