johnlock is not happy

sometimes i feel real sad and then i remember:

the first time dean and cas met properly, dean stuck a knife in cas’ chest and then cas proceeded to say ‘i was the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition’ and then they had intense eye sex

the first time sherlock and john met, sherlock winked to make himself look more likable and approachable and then during their second meeting, started cleaning up the flat so john would consider moving in

the first time alec and magnus met, magnus introduced himself and alec fell over his words and started babbling incoherently, and magnus proceeded to also flirt with alec

the first time stiles and derek met, derek was talking to both scott and stiles, during which time stiles was absolutely speechless and his mouth hung open a little

the first time isak and even met, isak stared at even as he emptied the tissues, and then they proceeded to smoke the same cigarette, not to mention isak stared at even before, and was clearly checking him out

the first time harry and draco met properly, draco offered his friendship and harry only refused because he’s loyal quickly and draco was being quite rude

the first time sirius and remus saw each other after thirteen years, snape said “you two fight like a married couple” and remus was immediately on sirius’ side, without questioning anything

and then i feel happy, because even if most of the ships on this list aren’t canon and/or endgame, i will always regard them as canon :)

and if this list made you happy, then that’s a hella rad bonus

Hep
  • Me: *finds a song I've never herd and enjoys it*
  • Brain: hey you know what you should do?
  • Brain: listen to it over and over until you can't stand it
  • Me:
  • Me: okay

anonymous asked:

Hey sorry do you know any ‘being a couple for a case’ fic ? Thank you'

I CERTAINLY DO. It’s one of my favourite tropes of ALL TIME. Like, I reread these fics ALL THE TIME. I am just SO SAD that there’s no long-fic really strictly from Sherlock’s POV. Like I would LOVE for a fic where we see Sherlock’s thought processes about trying to get John to be his date / partner / whatever. 

FAKE RELATIONSHIP 

ANYWAY. I added a few onto this list here, but here’s a full list of the ones in my bookmarks.

  • Wars We Fought, Things We’re Not by blueink3 (M | 55,126 w.) Five months after John’s world has fallen apart, Mycroft sends the consulting detective and his doctor on a case that neither is prepared for. [[**FAVE. You have to check this one out!**]]
  • I can’t pretend by Salambo06 (E | 7,692 w.) - They had arrived more than a hour ago, and the moment they had walked inside the hotel reception, John had understood why Sherlock hadn’t wanted to come. Two men, posh suits and expensive watches on their wrists, had come to greet them with sharp remarks and badly hidden mockery, and John had seen red. Sherlock hadn’t said anything, mostly ignoring the two men entirely, and without thinking twice about it, John had slid an arm around Sherlock’s waist and introduced himself as his husband. [[AHHH so much pining John, I love it. Sherlock is so good to him!!]]
  • A Hundred Thousand Ways to Say the Name John by Jberry (E | 16,825 w.) John Watson and Sherlock Holmes must solve a case on a cruise ship. To get close to the crew and passengers, they must get married for the case on the Baetica. However, their relationship hits rocky seas both due to the case and internal conflicts. Part 1 of Baetica [[FAVE!!! MUST READ!!]]
  • Twelfth Night by yourdykeinshiningarmor (E | 15,139 w.) - John is invited to his aunt’s Twelfth Night ball. Sherlock offers to attend with him as a friendly face among strangers, but John’s family force him to address his true feelings for Sherlock. [[this one is cute]]
  • Till Death Do Us Part by prettysailorsoldier (M | 15,390 w.) - When Sherlock links a recent spree of murder-suicides to a psychologist who specializes in marriage counselling, there’s really only one thing to do: Go undercover as a couple in hopes of drawing the killer out. Faking a relationship seems easy enough, but things take a turn when their real issues start to creep into the sessions, and, all the while, a killer is watching, waiting in the shadows for their chance to strike. Part 12 of 25 Days of Johnlock [[OH GOD this one is lovely. Lots of pain but happy ending]]
  • That Partitioning of the Things of Youth by wearitcounts (Sher_locked_up) (E | 35,353 w.)Victor Trevor is in town, and nobody’s happy. [[I really like this one. Jealous John AND Sherlock and lots of Angst]].
  • What I Hide By My Language, My Body Utters by PixChuu22 (M | 9,047 w.) - Based on a prompt from Tumblr user thetwogaydetectives - “fake relationship that ends up being so real, they finally realize they are in love.” (I like this one. They end up together because of a case).
  • The Case of the Made-Up Case by DoubleNegative (T | 2,394) - Sherlock takes John to a club. For a “case.” Yes, John, a case. Part 1 of The (Secret) Adventures of Sherlock Holmes [[CUTE!]]
  • The Newlywed Game: Johnlock Edition by patternofdefiance (E | 9,020) - John and Sherlock pretend to be married in order to be contestants in a Newlywed Game. Of course it’s for a case. Of course it doesn’t stay that way. Part 8 of I Blame Tumblr [[LOVE THIS ONE. It’s so cute!]]
  • A Case of Identity by jkay1980 (T | 91,009 w.)John and Sherlock have succeeded in rebuilding their friendship after Sherlock’s fake suicide, but an unusual case puts their relationship to the test. They pretend to be engaged and attend a marriage counseling workshop. Under the pretext of the case, Sherlock turns out to be a master of seduction, and John finally learns he might like Sherlock more than he thought. Slowly, John discovers that he loves Sherlock not only in a friendly, brotherly way, but both men have to fight their own demons before they can think of taking their relationship to a new level… [[I love this fic. It’s a really great long-fic!]]
  • A Bit of Indulgence by beltainefaerie (NR | 3,364 w.) -  A case leads John and Sherlock to fake being boyfriends and John runs into an old acquaintance. [[This one is so domestic and cute GUH I love it.]]
  • The Norwood Love Builders by flawedamythyst (T | 47,798 w.) - Sherlock and John go undercover to solve the murder of Joanna Oldacre, but things are complicated by the many feelings John has been repressing in the wake of Sherlock’s faked death and return. [[OMG this is like my FAVOURITE fic in this genre ever. It’s SO good and well characterized]].
  • Hitting the Water at Sixty Miles an Hour by what_alchemy (E | 30,568 w.) “You love your mother, Sherlock?”John watched the muscles in Sherlock’s jaw jump. He nodded in one sharp jerk.“Then we’re going to her party and making her happy.” John let out a resigned sigh. “As a ruddy couple, you bastard.”
  • Once More, With Feeling by cellard00rs (T | 21,178 w.) - To put off his meddlesome, matchmaking mother, John convinces Sherlock to play the role of his significant other. Unparalleled awkwardness ensues. [[nice amount of fluff and pining!]]
  • Hope Springs Eternal by QuinnAnderson (T | 4,054 w.) - John Watson and Sherlock Holmes go on holiday, and Sherlock has romance on the brain. [[Another cute one!]]
  • Five Times They Kissed for a Case, and One Time They Kissed for Real by fleetwood_mouse (M | 32,406) - A stolen ring! An artful blogger! And many more adventures for your enjoyment.
  • Disguises are always a self-portrait by yellowteapots (NR | 6,223 w.) - They were headed to a Pride Fest for a case-triple suicide/murder- which, of course mean they had to pretend to be couple. John had a suspicion Mycroft took a fairly sadistic glee in booking them a (single king-sized bed) room at the most romantic B&B in town. (I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH)
  • A Silver Sixpence by doodle (E | 16,400 w. LIVEJOURNAL) - John and Sherlock have to get married for a case, and learn some things about each other. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this story, though its only fault is that it’s on LiveJournal… (PITA to read on mobile)

AMNESIA:

Here are a couple where either John or Sherlock have amnesia and they think that they are each other’s husband or partner.

  • Among the Secret Things by Kate_Lear (E | 26,073 w.) - Sherlock would be the last person to describe himself as given to flights of fancy, but at the look on Lestrade’s face he could swear that something inside him curls up and dies. Part 1 of Among the Secret Things
  • What Meets the Eye by worldaccordingtofangirls (M | 8,251 w.) Amnesia is just another case to solve. Piece together unfamiliar faces, reconstruct the old identity, the lost reality. A challenge that Sherlock could even enjoy. He can read people like books. The man with the silver hair is his boss. The tottering old woman, his landlady. The girl with the worried look in her eyes…infatuated. And as for John Watson? His husband. Obviously.

“FOR A CASE” TROPE

So these aren’t necessarily relationships, or weren’t tagged as such, but contains some other “for a case” fics!

  • Midnight Blue Serenity by BeautifulFiction (E | 151,907w.) - When Sherlock infiltrates a club in order to track down a serial killer, his altered appearance is enough to make John question his assumption that Sherlock is beyond his reach. However, is he the only one who appreciates his flatmate’s charms, or is Sherlock at risk of becoming the next victim? [[THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVE FICS OF ALL TIME. tw for gore-ish type things near the end.]]
  • It Isn’t Strange Until You Think About It by ivyblossom (T | 4,596 w.) - John tells the truth about how it happened. For some reason, “it’s for a case” always seems to do the trick.
  • The Case of the Vanishing Pants by SwissMiss (E | 44,025 w.) - Five times John and Sherlock lost their pants for a case. [[there are some angsty bits in this, but I did giggle at a few scenes]]

OTHER SORT-OF RELATED FICS:

Here are a few that aren’t REALLY “for a case” but they end up together or the Johnlock is strong in it because of cases or because of situations.

  • Rescue by missilemuse (T | 2,574 w.) - If this was the way Sherlock Holmes loved, it was no wonder why he had avoided the damned emotion for over half of his life. Part 6 of Reichenbach To Return [[this isn’t really Johnlock, but it is… it’s non-ad10ck ad10ck. You have to read it to understand. It’s SO good and painful, trust me. Sherlock!Whump and pining]].
  • Five Times John Noticed But Didn’t Really by ScandalousMinds (T| 6,383 w.) 5 times John (thought) he noticed something peculiar about his and Sherlock’s relationship but really missed the obvious.
  • A Need To Know Basis by mattsloved1 (K+| 964 w., FFNet) - As the cab door shut firmly, the DI had yelled out they were to make an appearance at Scotland Yard the next day. It was while John watched London pass by that it happened. (short and sweet!! I love it!!)
  • Hallowed Eve by EventHorizon (T | 14,750 w.) - It probably wasn’t the smartest idea to let Sherlock choose the costumes for Halloween, but John never considered himself the smartest man in the room, anyway. (It’s a couple’s costume thing!)
  • Equine Arse Anonymity by Kayjaykayme (E | 3,834 w.) - Sherlock needs to speak with suspects at a fancy dress ball. He chooses a couple’s costume for himself and John. It is logical, practical and well thought out. John doesn’t agree and exacts sweet revenge.
  • Maybe This Christmas by feverishsea for leopardwrites (T | 6,021 w.) Anthea has given up her life, her own desires, even her name in service of something greater than herself. But that doesn’t mean she can’t see when someone else wants something – even if she doesn’t happen to care overmuch for that person. And it doesn’t mean she isn’t willing to help. (Anthea gets the boys together)
  • You Can Imagine the Christmas Dinners by ardenteurophile  (T | 23,584 w.) Sherlock takes John along for Christmas dinner with Mycroft and Mummy (And “Anthea”, too). Over the course of the evening, John realises that everyone in the room - apart from him - seems to think that he and Sherlock are a couple. Part 2 of Xmas Dinners Verse (I LOVE THIS ONE)
  • The Sexual Awakening of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson by suitesamba (M | 24,579 w.) Sherlock owes Mycroft a favor. Mycroft calls in that favor by offering Sherlock’s consulting services in a charity auction. Sherlock and John soon find themselves at the country manor of Mrs. Ives-Patton Smarmington III - not very coincidentally a long-time friend of Sherlock’s mother - where they are reluctant participants in her Murder Mystery Weekend. It’s a play within a play for Sherlock and John, and their roles for the weekend event bleed over into their real lives, waking the sleeping dragons within. Or In which John learns that Sherlock owing Mycroft a favor is very suspect, and Sherlock has a very bad idea.

Hope those satisfy! Alex also has a list that has some ACD Holmes on the list too!