Will we get a “I prefer my doctor’s clean shaven” parallel scene after Garridebs? John coming round at 221b after he’s been patched up (presuming Garridebs doesn’t cause a severe wound), but maybe only because he wants to check if Sherlock’s alright, because after this whole Mary thing everything is tense and why is John even so stupid to care about this lying dickhead, why does he even check if he’s alright, but he does, and Sherlock couldn’t be gladder to see him again, to see that he’s ok, even if it’s probably for the last time.
No joking. John tries to keep things business like, while Sherlock hopes, begs to whatever deity might hear him, that John says something, anything, because how could Sherlock even be allowed to even apologise, after all this, after causing John so much pain and grieve and sorrow. And after lying to him. Again. And again. And again.
But just as John is almost out the door again, for the last time as he hopes, he stops.
And asks the one question that still needs to be dealt with.
Sherlock’s hopes flare up, but he doesn’t understand. John turns around, not knowing with which of the numerous whys to start with.
Why did you not tell me who she was.
Why did you let this all happen.
Why did you shoot Magnussen.
Why were you not able to stop Moriarty.
Why did you leave without telling me.
Why did you fake your death.
Why did you lie to me.
Why didn’t you trust me.
Why don’t you reply to me.
Unsure if he had spoken any of these questions out loud, John suddenly realised that hot tears were streaming down his face and he had pushed Sherlock back into a wall, making it impossible for him to get out of this, this time.
Taking a moment to accustom to this new situation, their proximity, the ragged breaths he could feel streaming out of John’s mouth, seeing the raw emotions that were only his fault alone, seeing how it was him who had broken John, Sherlock wondered how his admittedly very low voice still managed to sound so calm.
“Do you really not know ‘why’?”
John clenched his teeth, while Sherlock carefully wiped away a tear on his left cheek.
“Oh, shut up…”
And no one could tell after who initiated the kiss first.