honestly wtf is the pilot
(this is an actual unedited clip btw for those of you who have yet to see it)
like John smiling up at a moonlit, batman-style silhouetted Sherlock who he just met a day ago
and the music really
like that’s the actual track
they didn’t not air this pilot because they were testing things out, they didn’t air it because it was too gay

I’m just imagining John wanting to make up for all the times he denied his feelings/attraction to Sherlock when they finally get together:

  • He’ll walk into Angelo’s and ask for a candle, proudly holding Sherlock’s hand across the table while Sherlock complains about dust in his eyes
  • When Sally suggests another hobby for him, he’ll wrap an arm around Sherlock’s waist and say he doesn’t have a lot of free time these days what with all the sex they are having. (He’ll then have to rub Sherlock’s back when he starts choking on nothing).
  • John will call up Mycroft and tell him the “happy announcement” himself, beaming across the room into Sherlock’s shocked face.
  • John will continue writing about nothing but Sherlock on his blog, but he’ll end each post stating how in love he is with this man.
  • When questioned suddenly at a press conference about the nature of their relationship and about his past girlfriends, John will state that he is BISEXUAL and then snog Sherlock senseless on camera to remove any remaining doubt.
  • He’ll let Mrs. Hudson know they only use one bedroom, but she’ll just look at him and roll her eyes because this is not news to her. (She now has to wear earplugs to sleep.)
  • John will secretly book them a double at Cross Keys for the weekend. The first evening, he’ll sit across from Sherlock in front of that romantic fireplace with the love heart before going down on one knee, proposing to Sherlock in front of god and everyone.
  • He’ll leave a message on Irene’s whiphand website telling her she was right, they’re a bloody couple, so fuck off.

They have held hands, cupped each other’s face in their hands, they’ve lived together, eaten breakfast, lunch and dinner together, hugged each other, made each other laugh and cry and they’ve even danced a waltz together with their hands on each other’s shoulder and waist with their chests pressed together looking into each other’s eyes and they still haven’t kissed yet. THEY HAVENT EVEN KISSED YET.

Will we get a “I prefer my doctor’s clean shaven” parallel scene after Garridebs? John coming round at 221b after he’s been patched up (presuming Garridebs doesn’t cause a severe wound), but maybe only because he wants to check if Sherlock’s alright, because after this whole Mary thing everything is tense and why is John even so stupid to care about this lying dickhead, why does he even check if he’s alright, but he does, and Sherlock couldn’t be gladder to see him again, to see that he’s ok, even if it’s probably for the last time.

No joking. John tries to keep things business like, while Sherlock hopes, begs to whatever deity might hear him, that John says something, anything, because how could Sherlock even be allowed to even apologise, after all this, after causing John so much pain and grieve and sorrow. And after lying to him. Again. And again. And again.

But just as John is almost out the door again, for the last time as he hopes, he stops.

And asks the one question that still needs to be dealt with.

“Why?”

Sherlock’s hopes flare up, but he doesn’t understand. John turns around, not knowing with which of the numerous whys to start with.

Why did you not tell me who she was.
Why did you let this all happen.
Why did you shoot Magnussen.
Why were you not able to stop Moriarty.
Why did you leave without telling me.
Why did you fake your death.
Why did you lie to me.
Why didn’t you trust me.
Why don’t you reply to me.
Why, Sherlock.
Why.

Unsure if he had spoken any of these questions out loud, John suddenly realised that hot tears were streaming down his face and he had pushed Sherlock back into a wall, making it impossible for him to get out of this, this time.

Taking a moment to accustom to this new situation, their proximity, the ragged breaths he could feel streaming out of John’s mouth, seeing the raw emotions that were only his fault alone, seeing how it was him who had broken John, Sherlock wondered how his admittedly very low voice still managed to sound so calm.

“Do you really not know ‘why’?”

John clenched his teeth, while Sherlock carefully wiped away a tear on his left cheek.

“Oh, shut up…”

And no one could tell after who initiated the kiss first.