johnchel

dear johnchel:

where do i begin? …..i thought we were friends, i truly did.. i never harmed you or any of your so-called friends (they are self-involved assholes, really) but you never found the energy to defend me when i was being assaulted or defamed. 
and now our moment (where you wanted to express how glad you’re to be my friend and thankful to be my roommate) is simply lost in passing… and it all felt for show, really. i guess i should’ve known when that girl threatened me and you just watched it like a spectacle.. i should’ve known then that you’d never be a protector. 
and in retrospect, the ring you gave me to protect me is null, how could it possibly have an attribute you don’t have? that ring is a fleeting moment like our friendship… because i obviously thought there was more depth to how we relate than that…
i thought our friendship deserved more than you throwing your hands up at the first sign of my peril; i thought i deserved more than being abandoned and feared (and i certainly do, damnit).

i’m trying to walk away like you did, but of course i’m hurt and somewhat bitter. but all the bitterness inside me couldn’t motivate me to harm you, so let go of your fear and understand me: you could’ve had a great friend in me, but now you’ll get indifference. i don’t wish you harm, but i don’t wish you the best, i simply don’t care anymore.

leaving you behind,
myra (the hurt)