The thing is, after john’s little speech on taking chances with the people you love sherlock wasn’t like oh shit u right I gotta text irene no he stood up and rubbed at john’s back whilst john snot-wept into his dolce and gabbana shirt
John delivers this speech to a room with only Sherlock in it:
“That’s all it was. Just texting. But I wanted more. And do you know something? I still do.
I’m not the man you thought I was. I’m not that guy, I never could be. But that’s the point. That’s the whole point. Who you thought I was is the man who I want to be.”
"he missed a whole wednesday once, didn't have a clue"
*sherlock tips a little bottle into johns coffee*
john: *drinks some*
john: *passes out*
sherlock: *starts a stopwatch*
sherlock: well this is dull.
sherlock: *checks stopwatch*
sherlock: wake up jawn. *pokes john*
sherlock: babe i’m bored get up.
what sherlock does while john is asleep:
-climbs onto the roof of 221b
-almost falls off when he’s getting down
-solves 8 cases
-does johns make up
-takes the make up off
-sets the flat on fire for like 20 minutes
-takes all the plates and mugs and everything
out of the kitchen and completely rearranges it
-goes out and buys an electric guitar
-gets into a fight
-plays the guitar as loud as possible
-sits in silence for 6 hours
-switches their mattresses
-puts the kitchen back
-decides he doesn’t like the guitar and returns it
-tries to wake john up by poking him again
-does a little boy’s math homework for 10 pounds
-switches the mattresses
-yells at mycroft
-does johns hair
-sulks until john wakes up
Normal best man speeches: hey congrats bro have fun with your hot wife ayy
Sherlock’s best man speech: John Watson, the only good thing about my life is that I’ve had the good fortune of knowing you. I’m not worthy of being the friend of the most wonderful, kind, wise person I’ve ever met. My love for you is equal to that of your wife. You can save lives, you know how to do everything. It’s always you, you keep me right. Also fuck your wife, I’m doing wedding vows.
Scatman John had a brutal speech impediment that ruined his day-to-day interactions and destroyed his self-confidence so badly that he turned to the piano as the only way he could express himself. While others around him knew that he was an accomplished singer and a student of the “scat” style of singing, Scatman John was content to linger in the background of more accomplished singers for the rest of his life… until he was forced to sing when his frontman caught a cold.
Scatman John was terrified that, since he was unable to speak coherently, he would be unable to sing coherently. But, 30 years after he began performing wordlessly in public, he found himself to be a natural and smooth singer. A music producer took note of the Scatman and offered him a deal, but only if he was willing to play along with the modern trends of the time. A strictly classical jazz pianist, Scatman John reluctantly accepted.
He was a natural. Scatman John never believed that he could connect to a generation so much younger than his own, but found himself speechless when he realized that he was standing in front of a crowd of thousands of European teenagers. Even though he only had two hits in Europe and the Americas, he had managed to bridge the gap between his era and the ‘90s and, all the while, preached messages of encouragement to anyone struggling with a disability.
After his star faded, Scatman happily continued his career in Japan. Even when he was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, the Scatman refused to slow down. He knew that, against seemingly impossible odds, he had overcome with flying colors and had seen true beauty.
Although Scatman John was a fad in most of the world, he had managed to incorporate his love of jazz with the newfangled world of techno and, in doing so, gain an appreciation of how the ‘90s youth thought and what music they liked to listen to. He overcame his speech impediment through the power of music after literal decades of obscurity and spread his message of positivity as loud and clear as he could possibly muster, across languages, until his peaceful death.
And if I’m gone, I know what you could become. Because I know who you really are. A junky who solves crimes to get high, and the doctor who never came home from the war.
Will you listen to me?
Who you really are, doesn’t matter. It’s all about the legend. The stories, the adventures. There is a last refuge for the desperate, the unloved, the persecuted. There is a final court of appeal for everyone.
When life gets too strange, too impossible, too frightening, there is always one last hope. When all else fails there are two men sitting arguing in a scruffy flat like they’ve always been there, and always will.
The best and wisest men I have ever known.
It just really fucking bothered me that there were so many callbacks to TSoT in TLD, and I can’t believe I’ve only just figured out why. Literally every meta I’ve ever written about this episode has changed context.
At the beginning of the speech, Senator John Pastore seems impatient, even making fun of Rogers in the first couple of minutes. But at the end, after Rogers shares a little song that he wrote, Pastore says, “I’m supposed to be a pretty tough guy and I’m getting goosebumps for the first time in days … looks like you just earned your $20 million.”
That would not be the last time that Rogers would do something like this. In 1984, when the Supreme Court was considering outlawing home-recording technology, they decided not to at least partly because Rogers was worried that taking away VCRs would make it so that some kids who couldn’t watch his show at the scheduled time wouldn’t be able to watch it at all. The court thought that made perfect sense.
Then, when Burger King ran a commercial with a parody look-alike named “Mr. Rodney” in 1984, Rogers asked them to stop. The senior vice president of the company pulled the $15,000 ad without a second thought, saying, “Mr. Rogers is one guy you don’t want to mess with … hopefully now we have peace in the neighborhood.” Can we doubt at this point that Rogers was some kind of sorcerer?
I think that Mary has two game-changing secrets that explain all of the plot holes in S3.
She’s a double agent (Read my definitive proof here.)
She has a secret child.
The Secret Child is the invisible thread that connects everything together.
I have an abundance of ACD canon facts supporting this premise, but first here’s a visual to highlight my point.
I believe that Mary is based on Effie Munro; the suspicious wife in The Yellow Face.
Here’s a quick numeral summary of the parallels.
1) Effie moved to the UK five years ago.
2) She hides her past from her husband.
3) She is obviously involved in something shady.
4) Her husband catches her sneaking off and she refuses to explain herself or defend herself.
5) Her dear husband forgives her without further explanation. Okay, this is important: not only does her husband forgive her… but he forgives her using almost the same speech John used to forgive Mary (the essence of the message is exactly the same even if the wording is a bit different).
You are at liberty to preserve your secret, but you must promise me that there shall be no more nightly visits, no more doings which are kept from my knowledge. I am willing to forget those which are past if you will promise that there shall be no more in the future.
6) It turns out Effie was hiding her child from a previous relationship.
7) It is a locket with the picture of the child that reveals the secret.
Now remember the necklace Mary was wearing in HLV?
Well, Moffatt, Gatiss, and Sue have said in the DVD commentary of HLV that the necklace has meaning and explains something.
Sue: She’s got a necklace there, hasn’t she?
Mark: Yes, we’ll have to explain that at one point.
Steven: There’s quite alot of things we’ll have to explain, Mark.
I think just like in canon, the necklace represents the secret child. Instead of a locket with a photo (not really worn present day), it is a 5 petal redish-purple flower. I surmise that the flower is an actual violet and that the secret child is named Violet. (There are a tons of females named Violet in ACD canon!)
ETA: And now we know the name of the little sister is Rosie. Two flowers!
I wrote this post over three years ago and deleted it for *reasons*. I knew Mary had a secret child almost after viewing HLV but didn’t see it in the deductions until later on that year. I decided to write my theory in a fanfic instead. You can read it here: Mixed Messages.
To conclude, I think the fact that Mary has a secret child is the hidden variable that explains several S3 plot holes (including why Mary shot Sherlock; why John apparently forgave her; why Sherlock was willing to go to his death in Eastern Europe and leave John with Mary, why there was no romantic chemistry between John and Mary, why Sherlock seems to like Mary; why Mary didn’t defend herself; and finally why Mary isn’t jealous.)
Go to Part 2 to read the real reason why Mary shot Sherlock….