john x mary

The first thing John ever remembers,
                                                                       about love,
                                                                                            is that it never lasts.

His daddy left his momma, and him, alone,
                                                                         and never came back home.
Not even for him,
                                   no.

(was he not daddy’s favourite little boy anymore?)

John wondered if his daddy had lied,
                      every time he had held him close
                 every time he said ‘I love you’ to them both.
John wondered if maybe, his daddy had died,
              for he can’t imagine his daddy, his hero, the man who loved them so,
                 leaving him and his momma alone.

He hesitantly asks him momma,
                                 when she’s done wiping her tears,
                                                         one late Saturday night. 
He asks her if love is real,
                                          if love can be true,
because if daddy’s gone and not coming back,
                                                                     how can it be true?

Momma holds him close,
                                                 she sits him on her lap
and begins talking.

Love is like a driving in a tunnel,
                                                                      she says.
It can be long, 
                            it can be dark,
             with bumps in the road that you cannot see,
and you can get hurt,
                                        if you’re not careful,
if you take your eyes of the road.

A tear
             flows 
                       down
                                     her cheek,
and she gives him a watery smile.

It’s hard, Johnny,
                                                  she continues.
Love is hard.

But the feeling of the air brushing your cheeks as you drive,
     the small lights that twinkle from the sides giving
             you moments of warmth and light, being
                   next to someone who brightens up
                       your entire world, and the one
                          in the driver’s seat, in the
                             shotgun seat, making 
                                   your journey
                                  unforgettable.

So don’t give up on love, Johnny,
                         and I know, I know that daddy hurt you,
and it’s a pain that will haunt you,
                                        but it will not be forever so.

Love will not be forever so,
                        believe in love, Johnny,
                               and you’ll find that the joy,
                                                    is worth the pain and heartbreak.

John wandered through life,
                              keeping those words in mind,
                                         holding them close to his heart.

He thought of them,
every time he met someone he liked,
every time they left him with a teary goodbye,
every time he felt like he could cry.

It never got easier,
                                       especially during 'Nam

(Vietnam is a time and place that scarred his heart)

but he kept holding on,
                                       and his faith paid off.

He met her , a year after he got back,
         Mary Campbell, the woman who stole his heart.
Pretty green eyes, long blonde hair, and a sharp wit;
       she gave as good as she got,
                         and John was enthralled.

His dreams had come true,
                     and he realized his momma was right
(as she always was)
the joy he felt, the family turning into his whole world,
      the love blooming in his heart,
                        far outweighed any pain that came their way.
    
                                                                 
                                                                Till the night of November the 2nd,
                                                       when John held his sons close, watching
                                                                                                      his home burn                                                                                          (along with his heart).

                                                         He thought back to his mother’s words,
                                                                   wondering if she had been wrong,                                                                                          for the very first time,
                                                                                        and he had been right.

                                                                         Because love never truly lasts,
                                                                      it’s either goes away on it’s own, 
                                                      or is taken away, in the dead of the night.

                                       He’s glad his mother is not around to see him so.

                                                                                  He gathers his sons close,
                                                              the only love he has left in the world,
                                                                          and drives on the empty road.

                                                                        His tunnel of love is no longer, 
                                                                                                           what it was.
                                                                                        It’s bleak and it’s dark,
                                                                            but for the two spots of light,
                                                                illuminating the backseat of his car.


                    It’s not what he wants,
                it’s nowhere near what he wants.
                    But it’s all he has,
                        and for now,
                                                    it’s enough.

— 

Supernatural Writing Challenge

prompt: tunnel of love

adoredean vs delicious-irony

pairings: john x mary
tags: allusions to canonical death.